Читать книгу Mission: Motherhood - Marta Perry - Страница 11

Steve went in the side door of Children of the Day, hearing a hum of conversation from the lobby. Something must be going on, as it always was, but with a little luck he might be able to corner Anna for a private chat.

He had some information for her that might be helpful, but that wasn’t his primary reason for turning up. The truth was that he was curious to see how Caitlyn was working out.

She’d been with COTD for all of two days, but if he knew Anna, that was plenty of time for her to come to a conclusion about Caitlyn.

He’d been bothered since their conversation about Ali. Maybe Caitlyn was dynamite at her position in New York, but Children of the Day ran on cooperation, lots of cooperation from all sorts of people. And Caitlyn had given off unmistakable vibes that she preferred to do everything all by herself.

Or maybe he was just the one person she didn’t want to help her. That was always possible.

He tapped lightly on the French door to Anna’s office. It was standing ajar, as always, so that she could keep tabs on everything. With her passion and energy, it was no wonder the charity had grown from a small local effort to a world-respected organization in only five years.

He popped his head around the edge of the door. Anna was talking on the phone while staring intently at her computer screen, but at the sight of him, she smiled and waved him in.

In a moment she’d hung up the phone and turned her full attention to him. “Steve, how nice. I didn’t expect to see you today.”

“Well, since tomorrow’s the Fourth of July, I thought I’d best come by today. Have you heard anything more from Dr. Mike?”

“No.” Anna’s brow furrowed. “I expected to by this time.”

“I figured you might be concerned. The fact is that there’s been a heavy offensive in Mike’s area. I’d guess that’s keeping him busy right now.”

Anna’s blue eyes filled with concern. “Is there fighting near his field hospital?”

He hesitated for a second, but Anna would guess the worst if he didn’t level with her. “It sounds that way. It may be a day or two before things settle down.”

“If they settle down.” Anna rubbed at the line between her brows. “We both know how bad that can be. And that poor little boy. He could be right in the thick of things again.”

He nodded. Anna was right—they did both know how bad war could be, especially on the innocent ones. “He’s lost both his parents, and he’s facing possible surgery. It seems like the kid ought to get a break soon.”

“Well, he will if we can do anything about it.” Anna’s jaw tightened with her characteristic determination.

“Shall we pray for them?” He held out his hand, knowing her answer would be yes.

Anna nodded, putting her hand in his and closing her eyes.

“Dear Father, we know that You know better than we do what’s happening right now with Mike and all those within his care, including little Ali. We ask that You surround them with Your love and protection and bring them through this trial to safety. Amen.”

“Amen,” Anna echoed. She released his hand. “Thank you, Steve.”

He shrugged that off. “I should let you get back to business, but I did want to ask how Caitlyn’s settling in. Is she working out all right?”

Anna’s face lit with a smile. “As well as I knew she would the minute I met her. She’s the kind of person you can just give a project and know she’ll run with it.”

“That’s good.” Although it didn’t answer his main concern about her.

“It’s just too bad she probably won’t be staying in Prairie Springs for long.”

He blinked, staring at Anna. “What do you mean? Did she tell you she’s leaving?”

“Not in so many words.” Anna shrugged. “But I can read between the lines as well as anyone. The most important thing in Caitlyn’s life is her career, and that’s back in New York. Obviously she’s here to do her duty to her family, but I’d expect her to head back East just as soon as she can work things out.”

“You’re sure about that?” The question came out more sharply than it should.

She spread her hands. “I’d love to keep her, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

Though he didn’t say it out loud, he was appalled at the news.

How could Caitlyn even think of uprooting the girls? They needed the stability and security they had right here, among friends. And her mother, Betty, couldn’t possibly manage by herself.

It sounded as if his concerns had been justified. It looked as if the bright, ambitious girl he’d once known had turned into a coldly driven career woman without any heart.

Caitlyn had forgotten how intensely Prairie Springs celebrated the Fourth of July, but it was certainly all coming back to her now. Texans were just naturally patriotic, and Texans living next to a military base doubled the patriotism. The twins were determined to enjoy every minute of the celebration, and so far, they seemed to be.

They’d already watched the parade and eaten their way through hot dogs and sweet corn and cherry pie, but at least they’d found a table near the river, where there was a bit of a breeze.

It had been a good day, but Caitlyn had to admit that the heat was getting to her. She’d thought New York in the summer was hot, but it was nothing compared to Texas. The heat hadn’t bothered her that much as a kid, but now it was draining every bit of energy.

She pressed a paper cup of iced tea against her forehead, wishing she could just pour the tea over her head, as she watched the twins go around and around on the carousel. She smiled and waved to the girls as they passed her, thinking she and Carolyn had probably ridden those same painted wooden horses a long time ago.

Amanda was waving one arm like a rodeo rider as her palomino went up and down. Next to her, Josie clung to the pole of her stationary horse as if she feared it would throw her.

Worry flickered through her. Her mother felt Josie’s timidity would resolve itself if they left her alone. Mama certainly had more experience than she did in dealing with children, so why did it still tease her, seeming to say she should do something?

The tempo of the carousel music changed, and the horses slowed their movement. The twins were out of her view, their horses now on the far side of the carousel.

Apprehension grabbed her. The carousel was going to stop with the twins about as far from her as they could be. Would they have sense enough to stay put until she reached them? She should have reminded them before the ride had started.

The music tinkled to a stop, and people began to pour off the carousel, even as others started to climb on. She struggled against the crowd of cheerful kids and adults, trying to spot the girls.

It was irrational, wasn’t it, to feel so panicky because they were out of her sight? She couldn’t seem to help it, and she couldn’t get there fast enough.

Finally the crowd cleared, and she hurried past one painted horse after another. There was the palomino Amanda had ridden, with the stationary chestnut beside it. They were both empty.

She turned, searching the immediate area with her gaze. Where were the children? They were her responsibility—she should have gone on the carousel with them. They could be scared—Josie might be crying.

And then she saw them walking toward her. Steve had each one by a hand, and Amanda was clutching a bunch of balloons.

She raced toward them, reaching them and catching both girls in a hug. “Where were you? I was scared when I couldn’t find you.”

Steve grasped her hand warmly. “They’re fine. I’m sorry if they scared you.”

“Scared is the right word.” She took a breath. “What happened? Why didn’t you stay where you were and wait for me to come?”

“I saw a man with balloons.” Amanda’s tone said she knew perfectly well she’d made a mistake and wasn’t going to admit it.

“That’s where I caught up with them,” Steve said. “I happened to walk past the balloon man.”

Caitlyn knelt so that she was eye to eye with the twins. “Listen, guys, you scared me. Don’t ever do that again, okay?”

Amanda’s lower lip came out, but after a moment she nodded. “Okay. I promise.”

Josie nodded, too, looking close to tears.

“Good.” Caitlyn hugged them. Had this been her first parenting success? At least Amanda hadn’t argued. And thanks to Steve, they were safe.

She rose, blinking back a stray tear as she looked at Steve. “Thank you. If you hadn’t seen them before they wandered even farther—”

“They wouldn’t have gone far,” he said comfortingly. He turned to the girls. “Hey, do you know how to make balloon animals?”

They shook their heads solemnly.

“Well, if I can just borrow a balloon, you’ll see.” He took one of the long balloons from Amanda’s hand. “I wonder what I can make.” He twisted the balloon in his hands, frowning a little. Finally he held it out.

“A giraffe.” The twins shouted the word in unison.

He handed it to Josie, and she looked enchanted.

“One for me,” Amanda said quickly. She gave him another balloon. “A giraffe, please.”

“Well, we’ll just have to see how it turns out.” He twisted the balloon in his strong hands, frowning at it intently.

“What’s wrong? Can’t guarantee another giraffe?” Caitlyn asked softly.

He grinned. “I hate to promise what it’s going to be. It usually looks like an animal, but not necessarily what I think it’s going to be.”

Fortunately for all of them, this one turned out enough like a giraffe to make Amanda happy, and the two girls decided to make their giraffes dance together to the music of the carousel.

“You’re a success.” Caitlyn smiled at him. “And we’re lucky you came along when you did.”

“Not so much luck,” Steve said. “I ran into Betty and she asked me to join y’all for dessert and to watch the fireworks. I said I’d round you up.”

“I see.” It seemed she was destined to see Steve wherever she went. As he’d said, it was a small town. “Well, I’m still glad you came when you did. I was starting to panic. I’m beginning to appreciate every gray hair Carolyn and I caused our mother.”

She said it lightly, but judging by Steve’s expression, he wasn’t taking it that way.

“Not easy being a parent, is it?”

“I’m not a parent. I can’t ever take their mother’s place.”

The words came out without her thinking them through, but she realized they were true as soon as she said them. She’d do what she could, but she couldn’t take Carolyn’s place.

Steve stopped, turning to face her. “Is that really what you think?” He was frowning as if he’d taken her measure and found her lacking in some way. “Because that’s what those children need, and you might just have to sacrifice what you want to give it to them.”

Caitlyn could only stare at him in disbelief, as anger welled up in her at his stinging criticism. “I appreciate your interest, Chaplain Steve. But my family life is not really any of your business.”

Without giving him a chance to respond, she grabbed the girls’ hands and stalked off in the direction of the picnic grove.

It was all very well to have the last word, Caitlyn decided, but it lost its effect if you had to be with that person for another two hours.

She’d expected Steve to beg off watching the fireworks with them. That’s what she’d have done, if their positions were reversed.

But he hadn’t. He’d come back to the picnic table with them and eaten a slab of Mama’s pecan pie and drunk a glass of lemonade, chatting all the while as if there weren’t a trace of strain between them.

Now, he helped her spread a blanket at the riverbank—the ideal spot, her mother declared, for watching the fireworks.

“Thanks.” She smoothed out a corner and sat down, glancing at the twins running among the blankets with a couple of friends, each one waving a flag or a glow stick. “Here’s a spot for you, Mama.” She patted the space next to her.

Her mother shook her head. “I was just talking to Maisie Elliot, and she’s going on home now. I think maybe I’ll ride along with her. I’m just a mite tired.”

“Mama, if you’re tired, we can go home now. We don’t have to stay for the fireworks.” She started to get up, but her mother was already shaking her head again.

“No, no, the girls would be so disappointed. You know how they’ve been looking forward to staying up for the fireworks. Y’all stay. Steve will keep you company, I know.”

“I don’t think—”

“I won’t hear of you leaving,” Mama said flatly. “Now just you do as I say, Caitlyn Ann.”

“If a parent uses both names, you’d better give up,” Steve said. His smile seemed genuine.

She sank back down reluctantly. “I guess you’re right. We’ll see you at home, then, Mama.”

Her mother blew a kiss and started off to find her next-door neighbor. Caitlyn watched her go, and her heart clenched.

“She’s aged,” she said softly, nearly forgetting who she was talking to.

“It’s been pretty rough on her.” Steve leaned back on his elbows, his gaze intent on her face. “Even before Carolyn and Dean died, I could see the toll it was taking on her. She wouldn’t admit it, but taking care of those girls full-time was beyond her.”

“You think I don’t know that?” She let the exasperation show in her voice. “Have you ever tried to stop Betty Villard from doing something she thought was her duty?”

“I know what you mean.” He smiled. “Texas women are tough.”

She shrugged. “I’ve been away too long to qualify, I’m afraid.”

“Never say that.” The laughter seemed to leave his face. “Caitlyn, I need to apologize to you for what I said earlier. I overstepped my bounds.”

“Yes, you did.”

“You’re a hard case, you know that? I’m saying I’m sorry.”

Much as she hated to admit it, that lopsided grin of his affected her. All the annoyance she’d been clinging to slid away.

“It’s all right,” she said. “I know you care about the girls. As for me—I’m still just feeling my way with them.”

“It’s pretty different from your life in New York, is it?”

“I’ll say. I probably don’t see a child from one month to the next there.”

“No married friends with babies?”

She shrugged. “I work long hours. When I’m off, I guess I try to catch up on my sleep.”

“That sounds a little lonely.”

“Lonely? I don’t have time to be lonely. The firm isn’t happy unless they’re getting sixty hours a week out of us.”

He smiled. “Like I said. Lonely.”

“You don’t understand.” He probably couldn’t. She didn’t know what the army expected of a chaplain, but it couldn’t be anything like the expectations of her firm. “That’s what it takes in my line of work. You put in outrageous hours, knowing that the payoff at the end is worth it.”

She sounded defensive, she realized. That was ridiculous. She didn’t owe anyone an explanation of the life she’d chosen.

The military band struck up a march just then, and she was glad. It would save her from another argument with Steve.

“Hey, Amanda! Josie!” Steve called. “Come on, the fireworks are going to start any minute.”

They came scurrying and dived onto the blanket. “I love fireworks,” Amanda said. “They’re my favorite thing next to chocolate cake and going to the movies.”

“This girl’s got her priorities straight.” Steve scooped her onto his lap. “Look right out there over the water. Maybe you can be the first one to spot the fireworks.”

Josie snuggled against Caitlyn. “I don’t like the loud bang,” she said confidingly. “I’m going to put my hands over my ears.”

“That sounds like a good plan.” Caitlyn patted her. “We’ll hold on to each other, okay?”

“Okay.”

The feel of that little body snuggled up against her was doing funny things to her heart. Lonely. Steve thought she’d been lonely.

She’d denied it, of course, but there might be a grain of truth in what he’d said. Maybe her life back in New York was a bit out of balance.

“There!” Amanda pointed to a dark rocket soaring upward. It exploded into a shower of white stars that arced downward toward their reflection in the water.

That was only the beginning. One rocket after another shot up to the oohs and aahs of the crowds along the riverbank. Amanda stared, mesmerized, and Josie alternated between watching and hiding her face in Caitlyn’s lap.

Caitlyn smoothed Josie’s fine, soft hair. She wouldn’t have believed it a month ago, but it really was nice, sitting here, watching the awed looks on the children’s faces.

As for Steve—she turned so she could see his strong profile, outlined against the water. It wasn’t so bad having him here, either.

The last spectacular display seemed to go on and on as the band soared to a crescendo. Then, finally, the lights and sound faded away. It was over.

Before she could move or speak, she heard a sound drifting over the dark water, silencing the audience. It was a lone bugle, playing “Taps.” The notes hung, sharp as crystal, in the still air.

Caitlyn’s heart clenched painfully, and a tear trickled down her cheek. The sound was inexpressibly sad and beautiful.

The final notes died away, and for a moment nobody moved, nobody spoke. From somewhere in the crowd there was a muffled sob.

Then Steve pushed to his feet and moved to kneel next to her.

“She’s asleep. I’ll take her, if you can manage—”

He stopped. Then he reached out, wiping an errant tear from her cheek with one large, warm hand. Her gaze met his, and for a moment she couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. Attraction twinkled between them, seeming as bright as the fireworks had been.

Then Steve sat back on his heels, looking startled. “I—” he began, and seemed to lose his train of thought. He cleared his throat. “Sorry. I—I was saying that I’d carry Josie.”

Amanda tugged at his pant leg. “I want you to carry me.”

“But Aunt Caitlyn needs you,” he said. “She has to have a strong girl to carry one end of the blanket.”

Amanda’s shoulders straightened. She’d be the strong one, obviously.

He slid his arms under the sleeping child, carefully not looking at Caitlyn. It didn’t matter. She was aware of his every movement.

Was he as aware of her? Maybe it was better not to know. That flare of attraction—it was probably brought on by the emotion of the moment. It couldn’t be anything else.

She stumbled to her feet, helping a tired Amanda gather up the blanket and then taking her tiny hand. It was definitely time to go home, and she would not feel regret. She wouldn’t.