Читать книгу Search the Dark - Marta Perry - Страница 11

CHAPTER ONE

“YOU ARE THE only one who can find the truth, Meredith. You must do it.”

Meredith King stared in dismay across the small café table at her cousin Sarah. With her hair drawn tightly back under her kapp and her simple Amish dress, Sarah seemed an unlikely person to be urging her cousin to investigate a death that had occurred twenty years ago. But worry had driven lines around Sarah’s normally placid blue eyes, and she reached one hand across the table in pleading.

“I’m not sure what I can do.” That came out sounding much less definite than Meredith had hoped. “Aaron drowned twenty years ago. There’s probably nothing left to learn.”

And a small-town accountant shouldn’t be anyone’s idea of a crusader. Her weekly coffee klatch with her Amish cousin had turned in a direction Meredith had never anticipated.

“But it was your looking into what happened that summer that brought about this talk of Aaron killing himself. Yours and Rachel’s,” Sarah added. “You’ve already found out so much—surely you can discover the rest of it.”

Meredith couldn’t argue that she’d resurrected the talk about Aaron Mast’s death, no matter how she might want to. When her childhood friend, Rachel Weaver Mason, had come back to Deer Run several months earlier, they’d started reminiscing about the events of that summer when they’d been ten and had shared a childish crush on the Amish teenager.

Aaron had been the hero of the imaginary world they’d created that summer. But the world had come crashing down when Aaron died in the pond below Parson’s Dam. What started as harmless wondering about the events of that summer had also ended in uncovering the probability that Aaron had committed suicide.

“I’m sorry we ever started poking into it,” Meredith said, guilt settling across her shoulders like a heavy blanket. “We certainly didn’t intend to cause grief to his family.”

“Please, Meredith. I can’t go asking questions among the Englisch, but you can.” Sarah gestured to her Amish dress as if in explanation.

True enough. An action that would be unthinkable for an Amish matron was possible for Meredith.

“Besides, you know as much as anybody about that summer, following Aaron around like you did.” Sarah must have sensed her hesitation and pressed on. “I know you were just a girl, but you didn’t forget our Aaron, ain’t so?” The possessive way Sarah spoke suggested that Aaron had meant something special to her.

“Aaron was a friend of yours, then?” She should have realized that Sarah, ten years older than Meredith, would have been about Aaron’s age.

“Friend, ja.” Sarah’s gaze seemed to lose focus, as if she looked into the past. “More than friends, once.” She shook her head, becoming again the mature Amish wife and mother. “But this talk of suicide hurts so many people. The Aaron I knew would not do such a thing.”

“Sometimes we don’t know others as well as we think.” For example, she’d never guessed that there had been any love in Sarah’s life other than her husband, Jonah. “Even if I can think of a way to find out more, you might not be happy with the result.”

“If Aaron really did this thing, I will bear it.” Sarah’s voice was firm. “We all will. But we must know for certain sure.”

Meredith was silent for a moment, trying to find a way to refuse. She didn’t want to bring still more heartache to people who’d already suffered so much.

But Sarah was the closest link she had to her father and the Amish side of her family. For their sake, she couldn’t refuse to do as Sarah asked, could she?

“I’ll try,” she said at last. “I don’t know if I can help, but I’ll try.”

“Denke, Meredith.” Tears shone in Sarah’s blue eyes as she clasped Meredith’s hand. “Da Herr sie mit du.”

The Lord be with you. She’d certainly need the help if she were to solve a twenty-year-old mystery.

“Meredith?” Anna Miller called from behind the counter of the combination grocery store/tourist stop/coffee shop that had served the village of Deer Run as long as Meredith could remember. “Your mother has called, saying why are you so late and don’t forget the goat’s milk she wants. I have it ready for you.”

“Thanks, Anna.” She stood, wishing she could stay long enough to wipe the worry from Sarah’s face, but knowing her mother was perfectly capable of calling every five minutes until Meredith showed up. That was why she’d muted the ringer on her phone.

“I’d better go.” She touched Sarah’s shoulder lightly as her cousin stood, gathering her purchases. “Give my love to Jonah and the children.”

Sarah nodded. “I would say the same to your mamm, but I think it would not be wilkom, ja?” She gave a wry smile and turned toward the grocery section of the shop.

Since everyone in the valley knew of Margo King’s antipathy to her late husband’s Amish kin, there was little point in pretending it was otherwise. So Meredith just nodded and went to the counter to pick up the quart of goat’s milk Anna had ready.

“Thanks, Anna.”

“It makes no trouble,” Anna said, although it had to be a bit of a chore to make a separate trip just to pick up the milk, especially when, like Anna, one drove a horse and buggy to do so.

“Well, I appreciate it.” She handed over the money.

“You’re a gut daughter,” Anna said as Meredith turned toward the door. “Ain’t so, Jeannette?” She appealed to the woman who’d just entered the shop.

Jeannette Walker’s smile, as always, seemed to curdle a bit when she turned it on Meredith. “I’m sure she must be.” Since Jeannette’s bed-and-breakfast, the Willows, stood directly across the street from Meredith’s house, she no doubt thought she had ample opportunity to judge.

“It’s nice to see you, Jeannette.” Meredith gave the expected greeting and attempted to reach the door, but Jeannette stood in her path, and she seemed in no hurry to move.

“Don’t rush off yet,” she said. “I haven’t had a chance to tell you my news.” Jeannette patted the tightly permed curls that made her look older than the fortysomething she probably was.

Funny, the difference between her and Sarah even though they were probably about the same age. Sarah, with no makeup, plain dress and her hair pulled back from a center part under her white kapp, still looked younger than Jeannette.

“Is something new in the bed-and-breakfast business?” she asked, even though she wasn’t exactly panting to know.

“You might say that.” Jeannette’s gaze sharpened on Meredith’s face. “I have a guest coming in today. An old friend of yours, I think.”

“Really?” It seemed unlikely that one of her friends was coming to stay at the Willows, but she supposed stranger things had happened. “Who is it?”

“Well, you’re just not going to believe it when I tell you.” The faint look of triumph on Jeannette’s face made Meredith vaguely uncomfortable. “I’m sure he was once a special friend of yours.”

Meredith’s fingers tightened around the milk bottle, and somehow she already knew whose name was coming out of Jeannette’s mouth.

“Zachary Randal.” Jeannette proclaimed the name loudly enough that everyone in Miller’s Shop could hear it. “Now, tell me I’m not wrong. You two were an item once upon a time, weren’t you?”

The smile on Meredith’s face was probably frozen, but it had nothing on the icy hand that gripped her heart at the name. Zach Randal, returning to Deer Run after thirteen years? Surely not. He’d made it plain enough when he’d stormed away from her that he would never come back.

“Zach Randal?” Anna joined the conversation, diverting Jeannette’s focus, thank goodness. “Well, that is interesting news. It’ll be nice to see how that boy turned out after all these years.”

Jeannette’s expression suggested she smelled something nasty. “Not very well, I’m sure. If anyone had asked me, I’d have said he’d be in prison by this time.”

Meredith discovered she was still capable of being roused to anger on Zach’s behalf. “If that’s so, why did you rent a room to him?”

Jeannette shrugged, spreading her hands wide. “I run a business, after all. What can I do? But I’m surprised you didn’t suggest he stay at your friend Rachel’s little inn.”

Rachel ran Mason House, a thriving new B and B that was giving the Willows a run for its money. But never mind the barb—Jeannette was fishing for a response. She was probably torn between wanting to be the only person who knew of Zach’s imminent arrival and her desire to find out if Meredith was still in touch with him.

The thought of exposing her feelings in public kept Meredith’s spine straight and her face composed. “There’s no reason for Zach to contact me about his plans.”

“So sad.” Jeannette shook her head as if in sympathy, but her gaze was that of a robin with its eyes on a succulent worm. “When you were once so very close.”

“Just casual friends,” she said, knowing full well that everyone in the store probably saw that for the lie it was. Knowing, too, that she couldn’t keep this front up much longer. “Excuse me. I must get home.”

She brushed past Jeannette and hurried out the door, trying not to look as if she were running away.

She didn’t run away. She’d never been able to. Running away was what Zach had done. She had just provided the reason.

* * *

ZACH HAD EXPECTED he’d have some time to adjust to being back in Deer Run before his inevitable first sight of Meredith King. He’d been wrong. As he pulled up in front of the Willows, Meredith was letting herself in the gate to her front yard, right across the street.

He could have stayed at a big, anonymous motel out on the interstate, but conducting this business had become a matter of pride to him. If he had to come back to Deer Run, he’d come, and nobody here could intimidate him again.

Including Meredith. He slammed the car door, making her face turn toward him, and started across the road. Sauntering, not hurrying. He’d greet her like any nearly forgotten acquaintance he hadn’t seen in years. He’d show both her and himself that nothing remained of their long-vanished love.

That was easier said than done, given the fact that just the sight of her made him feel as if he’d been rammed full-on by a semi.

He came to a halt a few feet from her. Meredith stood still, just looking at him, her hand arrested with the gate half-open.

“Meredith.” Luckily his voice came out as cool as he’d hoped. Undercover work had honed his acting skills. “It’s been a long time.”

He might have hoped to find that his first love had turned into a frazzled housewife carrying an extra twenty pounds and with a whining toddler in tow. She hadn’t. If Meredith had added any weight since she was seventeen, it had certainly gone to the right places. The lovely girl she’d been had turned into a beautiful woman.

“Thirteen years,” she said. She seemed to realize that she was gripping the gate tightly, and she let it swing closed, creating a barrier between them. “How are you, Zach?”

“Doing fine.” He probably resembled the drug dealer he’d been posing as, with his tight, well-worn jeans, hair over his collar and stubble on his jaw. Fine. Let Deer Run think ill of him. It always had.

Meredith, on the other hand, looked like a polished professional woman with her shining brown hair worn in a sleek, just-below-the-chin cut, neat slacks and a soft coral sweater, with a touch of gold at ears and wrist.

Not on her hands, though. He’d seen that bare ring finger first thing.

“I just learned from Jeannette that you were coming.” Those big brown doe eyes focused on his face. “I was surprised.”

He managed a short laugh. “I’d say appalled was closer to the truth, right?” That came out sounding more bitter than he’d intended.

“Just surprised. Because I remember hearing you swear that Deer Run had seen the last of you.” Those full lips might have trembled for an instant on the words.

“We talk a lot of nonsense when we’re seventeen, right?” Things like I love you. I’ll always love you. He shrugged. “It was time I dealt with the property I own here. Had a few vacation days coming, so I figured I’d clear things up.”

“I see.” She glanced away, as if at a loss for something else to say.

He could remember when it seemed they’d never run out of things to say to each other. They’d walk around town in the summer twilight, sharing secrets and dreams as if they were two parts of a whole.

Meredith seemed to regain her poise after the momentary lapse. “I guess this visit won’t be much of a vacation from work for you. What are you doing now?”

He raised an eyebrow, wondering how she’d react. “Police. Detective Zachary Randal, Pittsburgh P.D., believe it or not. I imagine most people in Deer Run expected me to end up on the other side of the bars.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” A faint flush touched her cheekbones, denying the words.

“Come on, Meredith.” He put his hand on the gate, dangerously close to hers. “We both know what this town thinks of me.”

“Deer Run has changed,” she protested.

He took an obvious look down the street at the same lineup of century-old Victorian houses and small shops. A few cars were parked in front of the grocery store, an Amish horse and buggy was hitched at the side of the hardware store. The village snoozed under the shelter of the mountain ridge that seemed to cut it off from the rest of the world.

“Really? Looks the same to me.” He raised an eyebrow and had the satisfaction of seeing a spark of anger in those brown eyes.

“You shouldn’t judge what you don’t know.” Her chin came up, reminding him of the sensitive good girl who’d still had the courage to date the bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks.

The front door of the house rattled, and a high, sweet voice called out, “Meredith? Come inside, please. I need you.”

The door closed again. Apparently Margo King had her daughter so well trained that she didn’t need to call twice.

Meredith half turned away from the gate. “I’m sorry. I have to go in.”

“Yeah. Right.” Bitterness welled up, raw in his throat. “I see one thing hasn’t changed at all.”

Before she could answer he turned and walked away, his fists clenching as he tried to stamp down feelings he’d been sure had died a long time ago.

* * *

ANGER WAS MEREDITH’S only shield against pain, and she clung to it as she hurried into the house. If all Zach had to offer her was bitterness, so be it. He might at least have given her a chance to explain.

The thought drew her up sharply. What was there to explain? She’d said she loved him, but she hadn’t had the courage to go against her family, her mother’s imagined social status or the opinion of Deer Run to prove it. Zach knew that as well as she did. Their love was long since dead and buried, and it might have the decency to stay in its grave.

“What on earth were you doing, talking to that boy? Standing there at the front gate where everyone in town could see you—Meredith King, you should have better sense.” Her mother waited in the entryway, shaking with anger from the top of her carefully tinted hair to the tips of her neat leather loafers. “I can’t imagine how he has the nerve to show his face in Deer Run again. What’s he doing here, anyway?”

Meredith sucked in a deep breath and prayed for calm. “I’m not sure, Mother. I believe he has some business to take care of.” She kept walking, heading for the kitchen. “I’d better put the goat’s milk in the fridge.”

It was too much to hope that her mother wouldn’t follow her. “What kind of business? If he’s come back here to moon after you again, he might as well go back where he came from.”

“Don’t be silly.” That came out too sharply. “You know all that was over a long time ago.”

“You shouldn’t have talked to him at all.” Her mother sank onto a kitchen chair, pressing her fingertips to her temples. “It gives me one of my headaches just to think about Zach Randal, right at my front gate, looking like some kind of a hoodlum.”

Zach had looked a bit rough around the edges, hadn’t he? That had always been part of the allure, Meredith supposed. It was classic, a good girl like Meredith King falling hard for the boy who was bad to the bone, or so people said. And Zach, with his disdain for small-town attitudes, had seemed to enjoy shocking the denizens of Deer Run. If he wasn’t cutting school, he was sauntering in late. And he’d been quick with his fists at the slightest opportunity.

“I understand he’s a police officer now,” she said, opening the refrigerator door to shield her face while hoping to head off some of the inevitable speculation.

“I suppose he told you so, and you believed him. Just like you always did.” Her mother’s voice went up an octave, and she stopped massaging her temples to clutch at her chest—never a good sign. “You believed him no matter what we said, causing your poor father so much grief.”

Tears spurted from her mother’s soft brown eyes, and her words came in little gasps. She was working herself into a state of hysteria, and if Meredith didn’t intercede, she’d end up with a frantic call to the doctor, insisting she was having a heart attack.

“Now, Mother, that’s all in the past. There’s nothing to worry about anymore. Zach is only here for a few days, and then he’ll be gone and we’ll never see him again.” Her heart seemed to lodge a protest at that, but she kept going. “I’m sorry his return upset you, but it doesn’t need to. Why don’t you come upstairs and have a nice rest before supper?”

Still soothing, Meredith led her mother gently to the stairs. They’d played this scene so often she knew it by heart. First it had been Daddy doing the soothing and comforting, and now it was Meredith’s job.

Keeping her voice calm, her touch gentle, she guided her mother up to her bedroom, pulled the shades, tucked her under the coverlet. Experience had taught her that it was useless to try and reason with her mother—she was no more amenable to reason than the average two-year-old. And too much emotion led inevitably to the racing heartbeat that frightened her mother as much as it did Meredith.

According to the doctors, her mother’s atrial fibrillation was not nearly bad enough or frequent enough to require anything other than the mild medication she was on. Their assurances had never comforted her mother.

Finally, after repeated promises that Margo would never be subjected to the sight of Zach Randal again, Meredith was able to get away. An easy promise to make, wasn’t it? It was hardly likely that Zach would care to confront Margo King after what she had done to him.

Meredith had barely reached the kitchen when she heard a tapping on the back door. Through the window she spotted Rachel, who’d probably cut across the back lawn between their houses in the shortcut they’d developed in the past few months. The elderly Amish seamstress whose small house sat between the two didn’t mind their frequent trespassing.

Meredith opened the door with a sense of relief. Here was someone she could confide in without the need to protect her feelings.

Rachel came in, handing her a package as she did so. “This was on your back porch.”

Meredith glanced at the label as she led the way into the kitchen and sighed. “It looks as if Mother has been watching the Shopping Channel again. I can’t seem to convince her that we can’t afford every little thing that appeals to her.” She’d have to have another of her futile talks with her mother.

Rachel nodded in sympathy. She knew all about getting by on a small income, since she was supporting herself and her young daughter by turning her former mother-in-law’s house into a bed-and-breakfast. “She still doesn’t understand that her investments aren’t paying off the way they used to?”

“Understand? She won’t even listen. Says it gives her a headache.”

Meredith put the kettle on the stove with a little unnecessary force. Rachel was the only person in whom she confided, and Rachel was safe. Their childhood friendship had blossomed into a solid relationship since Rachel moved back to Deer Run.

“How is she taking Zach Randal’s return?” Rachel lowered her voice, as if Margo King might be lurking around the corner.

“It’s okay to talk. She’s taking a nap.” Meredith set two mugs on the counter. The late-September day was cool enough to switch from iced tea to hot tea for their afternoon break. “So the rumor mill is turning already, is it?”

“I’m afraid so.” Rachel hesitated, her usual gentle expression concerned. “If you don’t want to talk about it...”

“I’d rather talk to you than anyone. I just can’t believe Zach has come back. I never expected to see him again after what my mother did.”

“Your mother?”

“You didn’t know? I guess you might not have.” Rachel had still been Amish then, and their childhood friendship had faded by that time. Amish teenage girls were helping their mothers or preparing for marriage at a time when Englisch girls were engrossed in cheerleading and the latest hairstyles.

The kettle shrieked, a suitable sound for the way Meredith felt. She poured water over the tea bags.

“My parents didn’t want me involved with Zach, as you can imagine. He was the rebel, constantly in trouble with everyone.”

She had to smile. It had been such a classic story—like Grease without the music. Or maybe more like West Side Story, even though no one died.

“When we started getting too serious, my mother came up with a simple plan to get rid of him. I had let him into the house when she wasn’t there, and she claimed money was missing from her desk drawer. She said Zach had taken it, and she threatened to prosecute if he didn’t go away and leave me alone.” The words were as dry as dust in her mouth. “He was ready to leave Deer Run behind, anyway, I suppose. He wanted me to go with him. I said no.” She set the mugs on the table with a clunk and sank into her chair.

Rachel studied her face for a moment. “Did you love him?”

A fair question, wasn’t it? In a similar situation, Rachel had run off to marry Ronnie Mason, to the dismay of both their families. It hadn’t turned out well, but at least Rachel had her little Mandy by way of compensation.

“I thought I did.” Meredith shook her head. No point in evading the truth. “Yes, I loved him. I just didn’t have the courage to go with him.”

“Maybe you did the best thing.” Rachel’s voice was gentle.

“I doubt that Zach saw it that way. He ended up branded a thief because of me.” She sucked in a breath. “Now he’s back, and he’s...” She hesitated, trying to find the word to express what she’d sensed from him. “...bitter, I guess. I can’t blame him. I just wish I knew what to say to him.”

“Maybe you need to tell him how sorry you are. For your sake, if not for his.” Rachel had a way of going to the emotional heart of the matter.

“I’m not sure he’d want to hear it.” She saw again the dark intensity of his gaze.

“If he’s not willing to forgive you, then that’s his right.” Rachel still had a typically Amish attitude toward right and wrong. “But you’ll have cleared the slate, and you can move on.”

Meredith stared down into the amber liquid in her cup, as if she’d see an answer in its depths. “Suppose...suppose I find I don’t want to move on. What if I still have feelings for him?”

Rachel didn’t speak for a moment. “Either way, isn’t it better to know the truth?”

The truth. The words were an echo of what Sarah had said to her earlier. Life seemed easier, somehow, if you could settle for a polite fiction that glossed over the difficult facts. But some people would only be satisfied by the truth, and she had an uncomfortable feeling that she might be one of them.

Rachel leaned back, sipping her tea, ready to talk or listen or forget, whatever Meredith needed. A wave of gratitude went through her. Maybe that was really the definition of a friend... Someone who could hear all the bad stuff, empathize and then let it slip away.

She took a gulp of her tea, letting the hot liquid dissolve the lump that had formed in her throat.

“I met with my cousin Sarah this afternoon,” she said, abruptly changing the subject. “Apparently rumors are going around that Aaron Mast killed himself.”

Rachel’s clear blue eyes clouded. “Oh, no. We tried to be so careful not to let anyone know what we’d found.”

“I’m beginning to think there’s no such thing as a secret in Deer Run,” Meredith said. “Sarah’s so upset about it. And Aaron’s parents, as well. She asked me to find out if it’s really true.”

“I can understand how they feel. Suicide goes against everything the Amish believe. But how are we supposed to come up with something new after all this time?”

Meredith appreciated the we. Rachel wouldn’t let her deal with the problem alone. “At this point, I don’t have a single idea. But I’d like to go through the scrapbook we kept that summer again. Would you mind if I picked it up?”

She, Rachel and their friend Lainey Colton had kept a scrapbook of their imaginary world that summer, filled with their observations and the illustrations Lainey had drawn. Meredith had already been through it several dozen times, but perhaps there was something she’d missed.

“I’ll drop it off for you,” Rachel said, still looking concerned. She glanced at her watch. “I didn’t realize how late it was getting. I hate to cut this short, but I told Mamm to send Mandy home at four-thirty.”

“No problem. At the moment, I don’t have any idea of how to do what Sarah wants.” She rose, putting the mugs in the sink.

“Maybe if we both think about it, we’ll come up with something.” Rachel touched her arm in silent sympathy. “As for the other...well, try not to worry too much about Zach. He’s not a boy any longer. He’s responsible for his own happiness.”

Or unhappiness, Meredith added silently. Still, Zach hadn’t seemed unhappy. Just bitter.

“Say hi to Mandy and your folks for me.” Meredith walked with her to the back porch. The breach between Rachel and her family over her leaving the Amish faith had healed, and Rachel considered herself fortunate to live only a stone’s throw from her parents’ farm on the far side of the covered bridge over the creek.

Meredith stood for a moment on the back stoop, watching as Rachel cut across the intervening backyard. All of the backyards on this side of the road ended at the creek, which formed a boundary between the village on this side and the Amish farms on the other. Meredith kept her backyard mowed to just beyond the garage, as her father always had. A little farther on, a tangled border of raspberry bushes spanned the space to the trees that crowded along the creek banks.

If she went down the path behind the garage, it would lead her to the small dam that emptied into a wide, inviting pool. The pool where Aaron Mast died.

A breeze touched her and set the branches moving, a few leaves detaching themselves to flutter to the ground. The sun was just beginning to slip behind the mountain, but the shadows already lay deep under the trees around the pond.

She rubbed her arms, unaccountably chilled. She hadn’t liked going to the dam since that summer. It had figured in too many bad dreams.

She didn’t believe it was haunted by ghosts. That was nonsense. But it certainly was haunted by memories.