Читать книгу Riches, Loss and Redemption: One Woman's Journey - Marti Eicholz Eicholz - Страница 4

In my dreams I remembered seeing Robert for the first time, observing him interacting with teachers about his mathematics program and having our first drink together. I could see and feel our immediate connection with similar economic backgrounds, ideals, religious training, and both working in the field of education. Sharing stories we discovered that when I was a youngster living in English, Indiana, trying to be accepted, Robert, living in New Albany, was a teenager delivering flowers to the local funeral home. We giggled, thinking if we had only known we would eventually meet as adults and become lovers.

Our meeting and our love affair was magical. Our decision to make a commitment to each other was beyond comprehension. It seemed to just happen. And we basked in the joy of it all.

I recalled the day Robert and I flew out of Indiana to California. I realized this truly was a new beginning and a dawning of exciting new possibilities. This was starting a new personal era. I was embarking on a journey, beginning a meaningful cycle, opening doors to new relationships, exploring an unfamiliar dimension of my-self.

It takes courage to embrace change willingly. All my past experiences had poised me for this moment. All the triumphs and the seeming defeats contributed to my current readiness for change. The joys and the heartaches, the hopes and the sorrows, the loves and the betrayals, the friends as well as the enemies, even the moments of utter despair, made me the unique person I am today.

I felt nothing but gratitude, blessed by the experiences and I silently gave thanks. I let it all go. My memories would serve a good purpose. They would still be there when I needed or wanted them. There was so much I simply wouldn’t need any more in my new existence.

I felt alive. I had been given an incredible gift of a fresh new adventure.

Robert and I arrived in California. Together we had felt a creative urge from the universe. We opened up and tapped into its tremendous power and there it was for the taking, LOVE.

Now we were starry-eyed with absolute faith that we had found the perfect person to spend a lifetime with.

We felt a connection, a relationship, based on total acceptance, without judgment.

It was our hope that we would be able to love each other with an absorbing spiritual, emotional, and physical bond that would continue to grow throughout our lifetime.

We were entering a new stage of our togetherness. We were getting married.

It was a sunny Sunday morning, June 24, 1973, Robert’s birthday. The Atherton Gardens were exhibiting extraordinary beauty and quietness. The lovely shape of the trees in full foliage, the delicate rows of colorful blossoms, the mass variety of multiple shades of green plants displaying exquisite gentleness of form and movement captured my attention. Lovely! An immense sense of joy welled up inside of me.

A few steps away were close colleagues and family to share in our moment of committing ourselves to each other.

We were surrounded by love.

Robert and I created our own ceremony. Douglas Norris, the minister, from the nearby United Methodist Church officiated.

Those present were the boys, Bob and Alan, Robert’s brother, Jack, Bill Larkin, Robert’s best friend and Jean, the O’Daffers, the Fleenors, Robert’s co-authors, and the Basteliers, Robert’s sailing buddy and his wife, Carol.

Readings were carefully selected for a member of each family to deliver.

Guest: Bill Larkin delivered words from George Eliot:

What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that are joined for life—to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain to be with each other in silent, unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting!

Guest: Charlie Fleenor read words taken from Kahlil Gibran’s…The Prophet:

“Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

But if you love and most needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that rings its melody to the night.

To wake at dawn, with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of love;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with the prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.”

Guest: Ian Bastelier read from the Book of Ruth:

“Entreat me not to leave you or to return from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge; your people shall be my people; and your God my God.”

Guest: Phares O’Daffer read the well-known prayer of St. Francis of Assisi:

Where there is hatred let me bring love

Where there is pain let me bring healing

Where there is darkness let me bring light

Where there is despair let me bring hope

Where there is discord let me bring peace.

I heard clearly the sharing of our intentions and the promises. I felt the ring Robert placed on my finger and the symbolic significance. The pronouncement of marriage rang in my ears and then Robert and I taking a candle and together lighting a single candle, signifying unity.

The minister closed the ceremony with a prayer and a response.

MINISTER’S PRAYER AND RESPONSE:

Minister: Love all God’s creation,

Guests: both the whole and every grain of sand.

Minister: Love every leaf,

Guests: every ray of light.

Minister: Love the animals,

Guests: love the plants,

Minister: love each separate thing.

Guests: If you love each thing thou will perceive the mystery of God in all;

Minister: and when thou perceive this,

Guests: thou will thence forward grow every day to a fuller understanding of it:

Minister: until thou come at last to love the whole world with a love that will then be all –

Unison: embracing and universal.

Minister: May God’s wholeness and peace be yours today and forever.

EMBRACE

Minister: Presenting: Mr. and Mrs. Robert E. Eicholz

A group picture, all with smiling faces, radiated a very happy day.

We looked at each other and thought, “We did it. We are husband and wife.” WOW!

The wedding party was off to a luncheon and an afternoon reception, greeting friends, celebrating Robert’s birthday, welcoming me to California, and toasting our union. A giant day of celebratory love!

Greetings came afar. Betty and Tennessee Ford sent a telegram.

Friends from Indiana sent good wishes.

My grandmothers were major influences in my life and supported me, so it was good to hear from them.

The reception was a wonderful time meeting new friends, business associates and seeing those that had become like family from my trips back and forth from Indiana.

It was a glorious affair. I wore the floral long gown my father had given me when I left Indiana with Robert for California. We ended the day with a Prime Rib dinner at the famous Prime Rib Restaurant in Palo Alto. The cart was rolled up to the table and the server prepared our meal just to our liking with elegance, precision and attention to every detail. Perfection! A great way to end the day of festivities sharing with close friends!

After a good night’s sleep, we were off to the land filled with the spirit of love everywhere you turn. Hawaii.

Yes, Hawaii, the place I first really connected with the love spirit. The place Robert and I had visited together. It was familiar. It was like going home. Relaxing, enjoying nature at its finest, feeling the ocean breezes, and knowing all is well. We immersed ourselves in the loveliness of nature, long walks viewing, smelling, touching the wonders of the earth. We wanted to help preserve this paradise in its natural form. Our participation in the Nature Conservatory Foundation was a way of showing our support. We felt our connection with the beauty that surrounded us. We were together. We were in love. And our togetherness was for a lifetime, just like we wanted the beauties of the earth to continue blossoming.

Rested, refreshed and suntanned we returned to California. Our apartment was close to Robert’s office. It was simple. We had the basics and in a few days the moving van from Indiana would arrive with the extras.

The van arrived and so did young Bob, Robert’s oldest son, to assist me with the unpacking and sorting. In the middle of it all, we took time out for pizza. Sitting on the living room floor we ate pizza and chatted. Time together. Time to get to know each other! A special time!

Once things were in place, I jumped on the piano bench and cranked a few tunes to see if I still had the touch. Robert knew how important music and the piano were to my life and he made sure both were available to me.

There was much to learn. A new a marriage, a new community, a new lifestyle, no friends to meet and chat with, no family to rely on, two boys to get acquainted with and integrate them into our life, and a new name, Eicholz. Thinking about new names, my friends and others had called me Marti. Now that I was starting anew, perhaps Martha Ruth didn’t suit me in my new existence. Become Marti Eicholz and make it truly a new beginning. And so it was, I became Marti Eicholz. For a moment I felt overwhelmed.

One thing we decided is that I would not seek a school position. There was much to get accustomed to, even a new driver’s license. The laws in California were somewhat different than Indiana’s laws and it had been awhile since I had taken a driver’s test, so I had to study up!

The phone rang and it was a woman wanting to stop by and welcome me to the community. What a gracious gesture! Of course, I was delighted to welcome her into my new home and share a cup of coffee. It would be fun meeting someone in the area, since the only people I knew were Robert’s colleagues and staff. Trudy arrived. She was friendly, outgoing and enthusiastic about sharing her knowledge of the neighborhood and surrounding community. She presented me with a basket of gifts and coupons from local merchants. She introduced me to the cultural activities available nearby, plus the monthly program for newcomers, just like me, to meet and expand their network of friends. Monthly luncheons, bridge games, book clubs, a couples potluck, walks and chats. This spirit of warm hospitality welcomed me and I wanted to participate. What a great opportunity!

Robert was pleased that I had made contact with someone outside the office. For so many years he had been engaged in long intense writing schedules and travel that a social life other than work-related was non-existent.

We discussed, as a couple, the importance of expanding and reaching out to others. We enjoyed each other and our time together that it would be easy to isolate ourselves. We did have much love for each other, but we also had much love to give. We analyzed our interests. Robert was a life master at bridge. I didn’t play. I grew up in a family and religious environment that did not condone card playing. Now that had changed, so bridge was a possibility if I would take lessons. Robert played golf. Robert had played golf with his son Alan. In the very early days I had played golf with my former husband Jim, so golf was a possibility if I would work on my game. And now we could participate in some of the newcomer events, meeting others in a similar situation as we were…new to the community. We had a start. We would let things unfold naturally.

Robert was looking forward to me accompanying him on his business trips. He wanted me at his side. Fall was approaching and we were off to Europe for several weeks. Robert would be working with the Defense of Education (DOE) programs. Our escorts took exceptional care and attention to our needs and our pleasures.

Germany was our first stop. The food, the music, the beer, and the incredible scenery made for an unforgettable experience. A tour through Italy let us know that this was a special region of the world that we would want to return many times. It totally captivated us.

Spending time in London and Paris was special, especially, when you are guided and cared for with the best hospitality can offer. You savor wonderful moments of being given the finest another can offer. All we needed to do was wake up, be aware of the love being bestowed upon us, breathe and accept it all with gratitude. Thanksgiving had arrived early and it was delicious.

The wedding, Hawaii, Europe---it had been some kind of a beginning. Now back in California, with Robert in the office with his daily routine. I was settled in to the community, exploring grocery stores, the nest of cities all connected to each other with seemingly no boundaries. Menlo Park, Atherton, Palo Alto, Woodside, Mountain View all touched and where did one begin and another end? A good map and time to navigate and investigate turned into a great adventure, as I realized that so much was available within a short distance. The Stanford University campus was within walking distance. The Stanford Shopping Center and the Old Barn Complex were intriguing stops for a lunch, coffee, or browsing. There was no need to rush, just relax, enjoy because I had dedicated a lifetime to this life.

Robert was continuing his writing projects. His office was close to the apartment, so driving to and from work was not a chore. He had structure in his life. A structured life was comfortable and necessary for his writing and creative process. He had much to accomplish and he needed discipline to accomplish the defined goals.

But he was also disciplined in caring for his physical needs, not just his mental and work-related situations. He would awaken early, go jogging, eat a healthy breakfast, and most days we made love before going to the office. We made incredible love, absolutely melting together.

Since I was not working, the structure in my life had radically changed. All of my life I had gotten up in the morning and rushed off to classes, my classroom or to the office. Now my mornings were free to get acquainted with the community, to work on the apartment, to shop for the evening meal. In fact, for years I had even been tied up in the evening so the evening meal was not my responsibility. My days had been transformed. I discovered the finest market in the area with fresh meats and seafood, a produce department displaying the best from the farmer’s gardens. Not far was a wine shop with knowledgeable connoisseurs, astute judges in matters of art and taste and willing to share their expertise with me. I had so much to learn.