Читать книгу Seven Against Mars - Martin Berman-Gorvine - Страница 8

Chapter 4

Through the door came two big men armed with zap-guns.

“Anya Olympulska, we arrest you in the name of the crown,” said the shorter of the two, who had a nasty scar down the right side of his face. He and his taller companion both had little bristly chin-beards. Jack’s right hand twitched. “I wouldn’t try that if I were you, Flash,” said the tall intruder, pointing his gun steadily at him.

“Venus has no extradition treaty with Mars. This is kidnapping,” Jack said.

Scarface grinned nastily. “Take it up with the Mayor Bellini after we’re gone, Flash. But I think you’ll find yourself on the business end of the Corrector if you make too much of a fuss.”

“What is this Corrector thingie?” Katie asked Rachel, who shrugged.

“Let’s go now, princess,” said Scarface, grabbing her by the right forearm and hauling her to her feet. “I think you’ll find the Corrector we have back home is the latest model, not like the one Hizzoner the Mayor has on this backward planet. You’ll be serving the Emperor in no time.”

“Ah, now there I musht dishagree with you, shirr,” a voice slurred. Everyone turned to see the drunk staggering to his feet. “Our shcum-shucking rulersh are jusht ash shcummy ash your sho-called lord any day!”

“Stay where you are and hold your tongue, sir,” Scarface said, waving his gun for emphasis.

The drunk kept staggering toward him. “But you have not yet tashted Venushian hoshpitality, my good man!” he cried, and threw his beer in the Martian agent’s face. The man cried out and let go of Anya’s arm to aim his weapon, but the drunk was already tackling him and the bolt went wild, sizzling a hole in the bar. At that Adrian, who had ducked down behind the bar when the invasion began, growled and launched himself over it. The other Martian agent pointed his weapon at him only to have Jack kick it out of his hand. He yelped, and as the girls advanced on him he turned and ran out the door.

“You know, that’s something I’ve always admired about the agents of Ares.” Jack walked to the man on the floor. “Your rugged individualism. You don’t waste energy covering each other’s backs, do you? If your colleague had been the one to go down, you would have been just as quick to desert him, isn’t that so?” The trapped agent glared at him but said nothing, so Jack shrugged and clapped the man straddling him on the back. “Eagle-Eye Eddie, you son of a gun. I didn’t know you were in town.”

“Just hoping my ex-wife’s lawyers can’t trace me here, Flash,” he said. “It’s a long way from Ganymede, even for someone as greedy for alimony as she is.”

“And you’re busy falling off the wagon again, I see.”

“Hey, I can handle the sauce perfectly well.” The Martian agent tried to wriggle free, and Eddie punched him in the throat without even looking.

“Business first, Eddie, then we can catch up later.” Jack walked around the prostrate spy until his boot tips brushed against the man’s cheekbones. “Now I’m going to ask you this just once, desert rat. How many of you little sneaks did Ares send to this planet?”

The man on the ground grinned a slow, wicked grin, revealing a mouth that would have put a dentist’s offspring through college unto the third generation, if its possessor had had any money.

“I see,” said Jack. “Well, you can tell your master when you see him again—if you see him again—that Princess Anya will always be safe from him, and he should check the temperature of the throne before it burns his bottom.”

“Sure we shouldn’t just clean his clock for him, Flash?” Eddie growled.

“Nah, let the law deal with him. I understand the jail is suffering from an infestation of lightning lizards.”

“What are lightning lizards?” the Martian agent asked.

“Let’s just say if one of ’em jumps on you while you’re sleeping, you’ll never know what hit you,” Jack replied.

“All right, what’s the harm, you’ll never get off this planet alive anyway,” the agent decided. “There are dozens of us in Afro-Port. Dozens. The Emperor isn’t taking any chances. And he’s paid off the Mayor, so security at the space port, such as it is, will be looking the other way when we load our cargo. We have orders to kill anyone trying to protect the traitorous Pretender, and some super-groovy drugs on board that mimic the effect of the Corrector so she’ll be nice and docile when we get her home. It’ll be good practice for her,” he chuckled. “As soon as she finishes getting the full Corrective treatment to cure her of her ridiculous and illegal ideas, she’s going to marry the Emperor in a big, beautiful ceremony so the mob finally accepts once and for all that he is the planet’s true and rightful ruler. Then he’s going to take her back to his chamber and—” Jack punched him hard in the mouth.

“Now you do realize,” Eddie said mildly, looking at the blood trickling from the unconscious agent’s mouth, “that that’s exactly what he wanted you to do.”

“Jack, here you are lecturing Katie about temper, and look how you go and act,” Anya added.

“Pile on me, why don’t you,” Jack grumbled.

“No, that’s my job,” said a man in uniform who walked in at that moment. “John Wilbur Flash, it is my duty to place you under arrest on suspicion of assault.”

“Officer Dogberry, you came just in time,” Adrian rumbled. “I want to lodge a complaint for property damage against Flash here.”

“Just a minute, let me finish handcuffing him,” the policeman said, feeling around his rumpled gray camouflage uniform until he located his handcuffs hanging from his belt. “Never could get the hang of these things.… Now, does the little piggy go into the lobster claw here, or is it the other way around?”

Jack rolled his eyes. “You want me to do it?”

“No, no, no, thank you all the same, Mr. Flash. Ah, I see.… This thingie here goes in the piggie’s ear over there, and—”

“Ow!” Jack yelped, hitting the policeman on the side of the face as he jerked his hands away.

“Oo, now this is getting serious, Mr. Flash. I’m afraid I’m going to have to charge you with resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer, too.”

“And don’t forget attacking a diplomat.” The Martian agent groaned and sat up, holding his right hand over his bleeding face while he flashed an ID card with his other hand. “Which is punishable by up to five years in prison and/or a 50,000 zloty fine. Venusian Code of Law, Section 1302(b).”

Dogberry took the ID card and stared at it with the intense concentration of the questionably literate. Katie peered over his shoulder curiously and did a double take as the cop politely helped the Martian agent to his feet, and, handing him back his ID, proclaimed him a legitimate “diplocrat.”

“I don’t believe this!” Rachel said. “He came in here and tried to kidnap the pr—uh, this woman over here! Mr. Flash was just trying to defend her! We’ve got at least three other witnesses who can vouch for him!”

“Yes, well, that’s for a court to decide,” Dogberry said, scratching his head. “Or Mayor Bellini, if the bribes aren’t big enough—I mean, if the judge can’t. Come along now, Mr. Flash.”

“What about my property damage complaint?” Adrian said, pointing at the bar. “Flash blasted a hole right in my new oak bar! Cost me 129 zlotys to install, that did!”

Dogberry ran a hand through his hair, knocking off his hat without realizing it. “As I say, a court—”

“This is beyond outrageous!” Rachel yelled. “That blast hole isn’t even from Jack’s gun, it—”

Adrian clapped his hand over her mouth. It was like trying to shout through a two-by-four.

“He is responsible,” Adrian said firmly. “I claim my rights as a citizen property-holder to seize Mr. Flash and hold his person here until such time as he makes good on the debt. Venusian Code of Law, Section 1065(a)(9).”

“Well, I…hmf…it seems…ah, it seems you are in the right, Mr. Josephus. I’ll be on my way, then,” Dogberry said, reclaiming the handcuffs and absent-mindedly snapping them around his own right wrist. “Say, anybody see what happened to my hat? No? Drat, that’s the fifth one I’ve lost this week.”

“You’re just going to let this ruffian go after he attacked me?” the Martian agent cried. “I shall lodge a diplomatic protest!” And he stomped out of the bar, all wounded dignity, followed by the bemused policeman.

“Thanks, Adrian,” Jack said.

“I really do want the money you owe me, Jack. With the food you and your friends just ate, your tab is now 432 zlotys and 65 groszys. Venusian scorpion-bunny don’t come cheap, you know.”

“Venusian what?” Rachel said, clutching her stomach, while Katie looked at the men curiously.

“Tell me, are all y’all lawyers?” she asked.

Adrian and Jack looked at each other and laughed. “Nah,” Jack said. “It’s just that the Mayor passes a new law every time somebody slips him a few zlotys, so it’s just good common sense to keep up to date.”

“Seriously though, Jack, I need my money,” Adrian said. “You keep shootin’ up my bar the way you do, I’m going to end up serving drinks out in the open jungle.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jack said, waving his hand dismissively. “I’ll get you your money. What I’m worried about right now is, we got to get off this planet. Even allowing for some exaggeration on that thug’s part, it’s gettin’ too hot for us here.”

He disregarded the barkeep’s furious expression, but Anya walked over to the man, turned his head with her hands until he was facing her, and said softly, “The debt shall be paid. I swear it by the name of the House of Olympulski.”

“Wow. Um, okay, princess, that’s good enough for me,” said Adrian, retreating behind the bar to clean up the shattered glass and spilled liquor.

Looking as if she were about to burst with curiosity, Katie pulled the princess aside and said, “Anya, I’ve got something to ask you.”

“Ask away.”

“That funny ID card Ares’ agent pulled out. Was that the Martian flag in the upper left corner?”

“I didn’t see it. What did it look like?”

“It was a rectangle with a fat blue vertical stripe on the left, next to two fat horizontal stripes—white on top and red below. Plus there’s a red star smack in the middle of the blue stripe.”

Anya made a face. “That’s the new flag the latest usurper who calls himself Ares made up. Ugly, isn’t it? The old Martian flag was a thing of beauty—a simple red circle for our planet, plus one golden dot each for the moons Phobos and Deimos to the left and right, all on a plain white background.”

Katie bunched up her fists, then forced herself to relax. “You shouldn’t call the new flag ugly. It’s just like the flag of Texas, except for the star bein’ red instead of white. But I guess you don’t have no way of knowing what the Texas flag looks like. It sure is a weird coincidence, though. The new Ares isn’t from Texas, is he?”

“Come to think of it, there is a rumor—”

“Come on, friends. This is no time to stand around shooting the breeze. Let’s get off this world,” said Eddie, dusting himself off. “You can stay at my place on Ganymede till things blow over.”

Rachel frowned. “But I thought you said—”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s all right, I got me some hidey-holes my ex-wife’s lawyers don’t know about. Jack, I presume it’s not safe to go to back to your place. There ain’t nothin’ you need back there, is there?”

Jack scowled. “What, and leave my duds behind?” He thought about it for a minute, then shrugged. “I guess I can always buy some more clothes on credit. I’m all packed and ready to go, long as I got Annabelle here.” He stroked his zap-gun affectionately.

Katie rolled her eyes at Rachel.

“I know, I know,” Rachel whispered. “Unexplored depths, okay? You’ll see them, I promise.”