Читать книгу Their Secret Child - Mary J. Forbes - Страница 9

Today she would see him again—the first time in thirteen years.

Thirteen years. And she’d counted every one.

Not because of him. Never because of Skip Dalton.

If she’d thought of him at all in that span of time, it was because someone mentioned his name in passing or because Dempsey Malloy had loved to watch football.

But she was no longer married to Dempsey and football hadn’t crossed her TV screen in over a year.

Truth be known, little crossed her TV screen these days. Any leisure time she had, she utilized by sewing, baking or caring for her bees—when she wasn’t teaching or tutoring. And then there was her mother, who’d decided last spring to cut back her hours at the hair salon, which meant this summer Charmaine called her every “free” day and asked, “Whatcha doing?”

No, the thirteen years Addie had counted had been for another reason—a logical decision her father termed it.

Logical.

Forget emotion. Forget tears. Forget the hole in her soul that some nights threatened to kill her.

Decisions didn’t cater to the weak-minded. Decisions meant logic—and Addie Malloy lived logic.

For a fleeting moment, her work-scarred fingers trembled at her left earlobe and she nearly dropped the tiny golden sunflower dangling on its fine chain.

God, why had she listened to her parents all those years ago?

Because you were a coward, Addie. Just as you are now, shaking in your boots, knowing you’ll see him again. Shaking like a little scaredy-cat.

Clamping her bottom lip, she pushed the earring post firmly into place and uttered a sigh of relief when it was done. Should she add a bit of mascara to her stubby lashes? Her sisters, Lee and Kat, always demanded she should wear makeup, that mascara would augment her eyes, make them fab-u-lous.

But this wasn’t a date and she wasn’t going for Skip Dalton.

Stepping back from the bathroom mirror, she checked her face, her strong tanned arms, the yellow sundress that was a hand-me-down from Kat. It would have to do. She would have to do. Money wasn’t a commodity on the island, especially Firewood Island with its two thousand souls, the majority of whose heritage heralded from the hippie sixties.

And as keeper of 480,000 bees she fit right in with the island’s agriculturalists and minifarms, or “hobby farms” as some had the audacity to call them. Maintaining and nurturing twelve hives year-round wasn’t a hobby. It was damned hard work.

She pulled her unruly hair—dirty blond hair, she’d always thought—into a thick knot on her head, shoved in four long pins to hold the mass in place and ignored the flyaway strands creeping free around her face. Not her best attribute, her hair. No, that would be her mouth. Her downfall at sixteen—and again at twenty-two.

Closer to the mirror, she scrutinized the absence of lines, creases or thinning. Thank God. Thirty-one and holding. Her lips remained full and feminine and youthful and…a little wanton. Maybe even sexy if she applied a trace of pink. She would not let him think she’d been kitchen-bound these past years with a passel of kids clamoring around her ankles.

Her heart lurched. You don’t need a houseful, Addie. Michaela embodies every one of your dreams.

Still, she couldn’t stop the ache that stabbed her chest. Thirteen years of memories bleeding out of a black mist like a herd of fire-snorting dragons. God, why today of all days?

She knew why—Skip Dalton.

Forget him! You did it before, you can do it now.

Right. That’s why her heart hammered and a flush spread up her neck. Don’t be an idiot. He won’t recognize you, anyway.

Holding tight to that notion, she shut off the bathroom light and stepped into the hallway.

In her daughter’s bedroom, seven-year-old Michaela sat on the floor, changing the apparel of three of her ten Barbies.

Her little sneakers were on the wrong feet again, and her left sock was missing. Addie noted the clothes Michaela had pulled on: a yellow T-shirt that was inside out and pink shorts. These days, neon pink and sunshine-yellow were prize contenders in her tiny fashion world. And she’d attempted to snap four pink barrettes at precarious angles into her dark ringlets.

Addie forced herself to remain calm, not to rush in, crush her baby to her heart, drink in her child’s scent. “Ready to see Gram, honeykins?”

“’Kay.” Scooping the dolls into her arms, her daughter scrambled to her feet and caught Addie’s hand.

“You’ll have tons of fun making cookies with Gram.” Gently, she swung their hands. “Better than what Mommy’s having at the high school and that boring party.”

“Yeah.”

She wished her little girl would talk more. The school psychologist was trying, but it would take months of patience and a variety of strategies, Addie knew, before her baby would come out of the funk she’d fallen into with Dempsey’s departure fourteen months ago.

Outside on the wooden stoop shaded by three western hemlocks towering over her turn-of-the-century carriage-style house she hesitated a moment and looked down her long lane and across the road. A big new house stood almost completed and barely visible amidst the lush growth of red cedars, ash, Douglas fir and Garry oaks. Painted white with green trim and shutters, the building jutted up two stories, showcasing a turret at one end and a massive stone fireplace at the other. An expansive wraparound porch enclosed the entire structure like a small moat.

Observing the construction for the past two months, Addie had heard rumors in the village of Burnt Bend about the owner. Some rich guy, they said, looking for a summer place.

If he was rich, why hadn’t he built on the water where he could moor his yacht? Why here, on a piece of property dense with woods and creeks, and down a rural road out in the middle of nowhere?

Well, it wasn’t her affair. She didn’t care who lived in the house, as long as they minded their own business and the quiet returned. She was tired of the hammering and sawing, the constant buzz of power tools, the coming and going of trucks. She wanted the peace of the woods again, the song of birds waking her at dawn, the deer visiting her backyard.

With a sigh, she looked down at her daughter. “Go on, honey, get in the truck while Mommy locks the door.” On the faint, early August breeze, Addie heard Charmaine’s cynicism: No one locks doors around here. Why do you?

“Because, Mom,” she whispered, watching Michaela climb into the Dodge Dakota, “I don’t trust Dempsey.” Though she’d never tell Charmaine Wilson that. Her mother favored Addie’s ex-husband, thought he should have time to sort things out in his head, to “find himself.” Which was what he’d told Addie the day he walked out of their lives. According to Charmaine, Dempsey was just a “mixed-up kid.”

Interesting turn of phrase for a man of forty-two. But not surprising, coming from a mother who had told Addie thirteen years ago to “grow up” when she’d found herself pregnant in high school.

With the divorce from Dempsey finalized last January, Addie had moved to her dad’s “homestead” house—three miles from Burnt Bend—and installed new locks. She had no intention of letting her globe-trotting ex back in her life or her house.

Today, however, she wanted to install a dead bolt. On her heart.

She would need it when she watched Harry McLane transfer his three-decades-old title as coach of the high school football team to Skip Dalton, his former student.

And her first love.

Skip Dalton. Back to stay. Back where she’d no doubt run in to him at the post office, the coffee shop, his mother’s grocery store. Skip Dalton, hero on the mainland, and now on Firewood Island. Again.

She couldn’t win no matter how hard she tried.

The school gym and the grounds out the side doors were crowded with students, current and past.

People had come from places as far away as San Francisco and Cheyenne to honor the coach for whom they had cheered and/or run yards, caught field passes and scored touchdowns on the Fire High football field. Thirty years of history had happened between those posts and on those bleachers. Skip should know. From the field, he had waved and grinned at the girls sitting in those bleachers.

And that, unfortunately, had been the start of his history.

He stood beside Coach at the door, greeting folks he hadn’t spoken to in thirteen years. People he’d last seen as kids, and who now had kids of their own. Some former schoolmates had gained weight. One guy was bald, while three were salt-and-pepper gray.

But the girls, the women—he had to blink a couple times to recognize even the smallest familiarity. Not until they’d said their names had he remembered. Ah, yes, Alicia Wells and…was that Francie—aka Fancy Torres? And Elise Haply and…

He regretted not recognizing the women the way he did the men. ’Course, he’d played ball with twenty-five of the guys during his high school years, shared locker jokes, showers, training techniques, victories and losses but, hell, he’d dated damn near as many girls back then.

Admittedly, at one time or other, he’d likely dated every woman standing around today chatting, laughing and sipping punch. Many—when their eyes collided with his—gave him cool, distant looks. No, they hadn’t forgotten his cocky attitude as quarterback of Fire High.

Today, they likely detected the I don’t remember you in his eyes when he looked their way or was introduced to them. That had to hurt, to know they’d been about as important to him as the socks on his feet.

Not something he was proud of. Hell. If history could be rewritten, he’d erase his entire senior year and begin again.

To right the wrongs he’d done to her.

For that chance, he’d give up his nine years of pro ball.

But the past was gone and all he had at the moment was what he could do for his old high school. Give something back the way he hadn’t been able to for Addie.

“Skip, you remember Cheryl Mosley?” Beside him, Coach McLane touched the elbow of a tall brunette. “She married Keith Bartley. Remember Keith, our water boy? Cheryl’s head of our science department and will be splitting eleventh-grade chem with you.”

Skip nodded to the woman. Fortunately, he’d completed his science degree before going pro. While football had been his love, he’d known it could die in a second on the field. And it had two years ago with a damaged left shoulder from a downward drive by a linebacker of the opposing team. So here he stood, suit and tie intact, counting his lucky stars in more ways than one to be taking over Coach McLane’s chemistry classes and the football team.

Smiling, he shook the woman’s hand. Cheryl. Yeah, he remembered her. She’d led the cheerleaders in chants and dance steps at every game in his days on the Fire High team.

He had dated her for five months. The longest relationship he’d had on the island. Before he met Addie Wilson.

Addie, whom he had yet to see.

She’s not coming, a taunting little voice whispered in his ear. Why should she? You dumped her. Left her high and dry. No, make that big and alone.

“I look forward to working with you, Skip,” Cheryl’s voice hauled him back into the celebration. “We’ll have to get together before school starts for some planning. Now that Coach is leaving,” she said with a sad smile, before turning her gaze back to Skip,

“we’ll need to make some changes in the science department.”

He had no idea what changes she meant, but she stated it with such chilly professionalism, that all he could do was nod a second time. “Sure, anytime. I won’t be in the phone book yet, but Coach’ll have my number.”

Moving away, she issued an indifferent, “Great. Meantime, welcome aboard.”

“Thanks.”

When she’d gone, another took her place and so it went—staff, former students, parents of attending students, kids already on the football team. One after the other, they patted Coach on the back, wiped tears over the old man’s retirement…and greeted Skip with lukewarm enthusiasm. The adage that women have long memories pricked like a thorn.

He had no illusion to the length of Addie Wilson’s memory.

An hour later, the stream entering the gym thinned as the chairs filled and it was time for the presentations and announcements. Principal Jeff Holby introduced Skip as a member of the school staff before Coach McLane slung an arm around his shoulder and took the mike.

“I’m thrilled,” the retiring teacher said, “to be passing the torch onto such a fine young man as Skip Dalton. He grew up on Firewood Island, attended its schools and went out into the world to make a name for our little spot on the map.” Grinning at Skip, he continued, “As a quarterback in the NFL, no less. Doggone it, but that makes me mighty proud.”

A few whistles shrilled, with a spattering of applause. More for Coach’s delight, Skip knew, than for his meritorious career.

“After thirty years,” Coach went on, “I can’t think of one person more suitable to take over for me.” Stepping back, he held out the keys to the locker rooms and coaching office. “Skip, these are yours now. Make the team yours. Make the wins yours. We’re behind you every yard and run of the way.”

This time the crowd’s applause rang to the rafters. The words Coach McLane were chanted throughout the room for almost five minutes, before they shifted slowly to Coach Dalton.

And that’s when he saw Addie.

She stood at the back of the gym, on the periphery of a group that had come in late. She wasn’t clapping and chanting, but instead she leaned against the wall with her arms crossed, a purse slung over a shoulder…and watched him. He couldn’t help grin. The din ebbed into the distance, and it was all he could do not to jump off the stage and stride across the room.

He wanted to see her up close. He wanted to touch her hand, her soft tawny hair and look into those summer blue eyes. Say her name…

And what…? Beg forgiveness? Tell her what you’ve done, why you’re here, what you hope to achieve?

Concerning her, what did he hope to gain?

The question had burned Skip’s brain since he’d made the decision ten months ago to relocate back to his hometown. At the time, he hadn’t consciously thought about the answer. Hearing of Coach McLane’s retirement, he had called the school, talked to Coach, then Principal Holby and later, the school board. Each had jumped at the chance of having him procure the position of Fire High’s senior coach, and before he gave it an ounce of thought, he’d signed a five-year contract.

For his daughter, first and foremost.

His gaze slipped to where twelve-year-old Becky sat in the front row, blue eyes sparkling as she offered a thumbs-up. His chest hurt with a love he couldn’t fathom. God, every time he looked at the girl, he couldn’t believe his luck in finding her—and getting her back.

The only regret Skip had was for the loss of previous years. But this was now and, dammit, the girl deserved a kind and loving home, a great school and community, but most of all, a family to whom she could attach a sense of belonging.

In Skip’s mind that was achievable on Firewood Island with Addie.

Though he’d have to tread with care there.

Oh, yeah. From what he’d heard through the gossip mill in the two days he’d been back, she was a woman of independent means. And a loner.

Looking at her across the gym, he could imagine that stubborn tilt to her chin. The one that said, I’m here for Coach, not you.

Finally the applause died. Skip said a few words of gratitude and appreciation, then the ceremonies were over. Time to work the crowd, chat up his goals for the upcoming year and hope to introduce his daughter around.

And meet Addie. Before all else, introduce Becky to Addie.

His daughter waited at the bottom of the stage steps. “You were great up there, Dad. They’re gonna love you as coach.”

Her confidence bowled him over, never mind how easily “Dad” slipped into her sentences. When he explained his relationship to her ten months ago, Becky—desperate for family—had taken the news and change with a faith that had broken his heart. Skip hoped that same faith would withstand the test when he told Addie about her daughter.

He put a hand on his child’s shoulder. “We’ll see, honey. I didn’t leave here on the best of terms, remember?” In small increments over the past months, he’d explained as much as he could about himself. But not about Addie. No, that part of his history he hadn’t the guts to disclose. Yet.

“So you’ve said.” Becky’s smile was the moon. “But, hey, once you win a game, the town’ll be so happy to have you.”

Skip chuckled. “We can only hope. Want a hot dog?”

They headed for the side doors. Over Becky’s dark head, Skip searched the room for Addie, for that pretty yellow dress, but she was nowhere to be seen. Had he imagined her in the rear crowd? Probably. She’d been on his mind for months.

Since he’d found Becky.

Admit it, Addie’s been in your head since you left thirteen years ago.

For half his life, she had been in his nightmares, and his dreams. Well, it was time. Time to come full circle.

Determined, he touched his daughter’s elbow. “Let’s go scrounge up some food.”

They walked into the island’s sea-scented sunshine.

Sometimes, it amazed Addie that five people had once slept, ate, laughed, opened birthday and Christmas presents, fought over bathroom privileges and closets and clothes…and survived in the cramped six-room structure in which her mother still lived.

Pulling the truck into the dirt lane of her childhood home on the outskirts of town, she thought of her sisters Lee and Kat living elsewhere on the island. Of the three, Addie visited their mother almost daily; Lee was frequently off island in her plane and Kat was tied up with the Country Cabin, her bed-and-breakfast.

As to their fathers, well, they were another story.

Addie’s died two years ago and Lee’s had left when she was a child. And Kat’s…No one knew who or where Kat’s daddy was, or if he even lived.

Mom’s closet secret. That’s what Kat called Charmaine’s unwillingness to reveal the past.

“What’s the point? It’s done and gone.” Their mother’s favorite battle cry whenever one of them pressed for the name.

Done and gone. Well, Mom, Addie thought, here’s a news flash. Sometimes done and gone comes back to bite you in the butt.

Skip Dalton was a living example.

Standing at the back of the gym, seeing him for the first time in more than a decade, hearing that smooth, deep voice…God, she’d been a teenager again and he the school jock, the team quarterback, the college student come home for Christmas. The boy kissing her under the school bleachers, touching her in places no one had touched, taking her virginity in his pickup truck on the shore of the island’s Silver Lake, and finally…making a baby with her. In this house, in her old bedroom, thirty feet from where she sat this minute in her aged truck.

Pushing off the memories, she opened the door and jumped down. Time to get her child and go home and let Skip Dalton go to whomever wanted him. Which likely would be half the women on the island.

Addie released a soft snort. He’d best take care because those women now had husbands.

And that stopped him before?

Climbing the steps to her mother’s door, she shook her head. Not according to the sports commentators. Wasn’t it four years ago that Skip dated a woman recently separated from her husband—not divorced, separated—and the man had come after him with a shotgun?

Yes, Addie remembered Dempsey talking about it while he watched a game, and laughing about Skip Dalton looking a “little green around the gills” when he was interviewed about the incident. Addie hadn’t watched the interview; instead she’d walked into the kitchen to clean out the dishwasher. The last thing she needed was Skip Dalton’s face filling the TV screen and Dempsey giggling over the whole tasteless affair.

So goes the life of the rich and fabulous, she thought, knocking on her mother’s door.

A moment later, it opened. Charmaine stood on the threshold and Addie blinked back Skip Dalton’s image.

“Hey, Mom.” She stepped into the familiar entranceway with its cabbage-rose mat and wooden bar of coat hooks on the wall. The scent of chocolate-chip cookies permeated the air; grandma and granddaughter had been busy the past hour. “How’s my baby?”

“Fine.” Closing the door, Charmaine scrutinized Addie’s face.

“You look as if you’ve seen your father’s ghost.”

“I wish.” She moved down the tiny hallway and into the living quarters where Michaela crawled under a blue blanket held in place by several books between the sofa and coffee table. Three Barbies and a Ken lay on the carpet near the “house” entrance. Addie tugged gently on her daughter’s leg. “Hey, button. Ready for home?”

Michaela peeked from under the coverlet. “C-c-can I s-s-stay?” Brown eyes pleading, she crouched farther under the blanket tent. Addie understood. Her child had built the house and now wanted playtime.

Kneeling on the floor, she took her daughter’s hands. “Speak slowly, honey.”

“Can…I…stay?”

“Gram has some stuff to do this afternoon, Michaela.” Addie wasn’t sure of her mother’s commitments, but she needed to feel the security of her own house. She needed to know that her world wasn’t about to turn upside down now that Skip Dalton was back.

Michaela pouted. “But…I want…to…play.”

“I know, button. Maybe we’ll come back tomorrow, okay?” Addie held out a hand, signaling the matter was done.

The child gathered the dolls into her pink knapsack and climbed to her feet. “’B-bye, Gram.”

Charmaine tucked a packet of cookies into her granddaughter’s small hand. “These are for you, but Mom will give you permission when you can have one.”

“’Kay.”

She kissed Michaela’s hair. “See you later, darlin’.”

As Addie ushered her daughter out of the house, Charmaine whispered, “What happened at Harry’s retirement party that’s got you in a dither?”

“Nothing. The new coach was introduced and Harry got the token plaque and gold watch. End of story.”

“Was Skip Dalton there?”

Addie turned to Charmaine as Michaela scrambled into the truck. “Don’t act as if you didn’t know, Mom. The paper carried the announcement twice.”

Charmaine’s eyes narrowed. “Did you talk to him?”

“No.”

“But you saw him.”

“I saw him.”

Questions burned in Charmaine’s eyes. What did he look like? Is he still handsome? Were people impressed? Has he changed? Ten thousand questions that meant nothing—and everything.

“I have to go.” Addie moved down the steps.

“Addie…Your father didn’t mean for you to be so hurt over…it.”

It. A tiny word for the life-changing events that occurred the second Cyril Wilson began brainwashing his daughter to give up the man she loved, and then later to give up their baby.

She turned, faced her mother. “Do not go there, Mom. I know why Dad pushed so hard. He didn’t want his precious daughter dragged into the trailer trash bin.”

Charmaine’s eyes widened, her mouth fell open. “Oh, Addie. That wasn’t it at all. He wanted you to have a chance, he wanted—”

“Exactly. He wanted. Whatever he wanted he got.”

Her mother came down the steps. “That’s just not true.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Your father did what he thought was best—”

“For who? Me? You? Our family? Don’t kid yourself. Dad was into saving face in this town. You know it, I know it. Lee and Kat know it. Everyone knows except you. When are you going to own up to that fact?”

“You’re letting Skip get to you, Adelina, and he’s not worth it.”

Addie scoffed a laugh. “He must be worth something. At one time he was the best quarterback in the league.”

Her mother cast a sideways glance. Guilt probably. Well, Addie no longer cared how Charmaine felt. Throughout the past decade she’d grown a prickly spine, one Dempsey had walked into a time or two.

“Were your sisters there?” her mother asked.

“I didn’t see them. I left the second Coach got his gold watch.”

Charmaine sighed.

“What? Did you expect me to hang around, bump into Skip and then throw out a welcome mat?” Her eyes narrowed. “God, Mother. You did.” Addie opened the truck’s door. She couldn’t get away from this conversation fast enough.

“You’ll be teaching at the same school,” Charmaine pointed out.

“Which I do not look forward to.”

“Why don’t you try breaking the ice first? Maybe talking to him will help with the issues you’ve kept inside.”

“Issues? When Dad pushed me to sign those papers, I wanted to die. Die, do you understand?” Issues, indeed.

“M-M-Mommy,” Michaela called anxiously from inside the truck.

“Look, I’ll see you later.”

Charmaine hurried forward. “What’re you going to do about—”

“Absolutely nothing. The man means zilch to me.” She got in, turned the ignition—and left her mother in the driveway.

Nothing, zilch, nada. Remember that, Addie.

Skip Dalton was a pebble in the road of her life. Easily kicked aside. Then why are you so annoyed? And worried.