Читать книгу The Icing on the Corpse - Mary Jane Maffini - Страница 6

Some Mondays start badly. When the wind chill factor approaches minus forty, you can count on it. Any day I ran into Mia Reilly started badly too. With the Benning application on my mind, I didn't need the weather or Mia. But she was right in my face as I sniffed the cranberry muffins and waited for a caffeine boost at the Second Cup on Elgin.

I stamped my feet and blew on my fingers.

It wasn't even eight o'clock.

Some of my old law school classmates are quite tolerable, but you couldn't put Mia into that category. She'd always been irritating. Her hundred-dollar haircut was irritating. The nose she'd had restructured after graduation was irritating. The teeth she'd had capped last year were irritating. The same could be said for her cologne: some pricey combination of cedar and bergamot. Mia was on the fast track as an Assistant Crown Attorney, which compounded all the other irritations.

It always bugged my butt to see Mia in my own personal Second Cup, even if it was just a block from the courthouse. If I'd wanted to chat, I would have picked my police reporter buddy, P. J. Lynch, who waved from the bench in the back. P. J. s one of the world's great talkers, but I wasn't in the mood. On the other hand, this was not the right day to get on the wrong side of the Crown Attorney's office.

“So, Camilla,” Mia lifted her expensive nose, “I hear your sisters getting married again.”

Leave it to Smiley Reilly to remind me my favourite sister, Alexa, was about to marry my not-so-favourite Ottawa cop, Detective Sergeant Conn McCracken. Even worse, I'd been fingered as a bridesmaid.

I ignored her and showered an extra thick haze of chocolate powder over my latte. I should have remembered it takes more than rudeness to ditch Mia Reilly.

She was in an upbeat mood. “Your sister's what? Fifteen years older than you? Late forties? Fifty? Hope for anyone, I guess.”

She leaned in, still smiling expensively, and moved her hand so I couldn't avoid the diamond solitaire. It had to be in the twenty thousand dollar range. One false move and she could knock your eye out with that sucker. “You're right,” I said. “There's hope for anyone.”

I didn't grow up with three older sisters without learning to be a bitch when the moment requires.

But that was too subtle for Mia. She tossed her head and each strand of the sleek blonde bob fell back into place artfully. “So, Camilla. Are you ever going to try the dating game again?”

I snapped the lid on the latte. “When Hell freezes over.”

She laughed. Irritatingly. “Bitter, bitter.”

“You bet. And speaking of bitter, do you think the Crown will mess up with Benning today?”

“That is so not fair. Of course they won't. He'll get dangerous offender status. It will take a while, but he's going away forever.”

“About time,” I said.

“I wish I'd worked on that file. I ended up with the drill bandit instead.”

“Who?

“You know. That guy who drilled little holes in car doors parked near the canal, then popped the trunks and made off with one credit card from each purse? You haven't heard of that? I mean, he's pulled off hundreds of these. But he slipped up. I'm so glad we got him before Winterlude this year.” With a last fond look at her diamond, she slid her hand into a pair of fur-lined black kid gloves.

I was at a loss for words. As if a minor pilferer was even worth talking about on the day of Benning's sentencing. I barely managed not to say “Who gives a rat's ass?”

I picked up my cup and the bag with my chocolate almond biscotti and made a serious effort to put as much distance between us as possible. I elbowed my way through the crowd and out the door. Outside the Second Cup, I couldn't resist a sharp intake of breath. Hell had frozen over all right.

I jumped at the tap on my shoulder. P. J. Lynch was shrugging on his coat in the cool way young guys have and sharing his wide grin.

“Big day for you.”

“No kidding.” You have to love P. J. Maybe it's the carrot-coloured hair. Maybe it's that space between his two front teeth. Maybe it's the way he loves to shoot the shit.

“Fingers crossed, Tiger.” He lit a cigarette. He's usually pretty perky, but this morning he was rumpled with dark circles under his eyes. Probably up all night.

“Thanks. What are you doing in the Second Cup, P. J.? I thought you disapproved of fancy coffees.”

“Free country. You heading for Court?”

“I have a couple of items to take care of at the office first. Benning's on the docket for 10.00 a.m. today.” The truth was I didn't want to spend an hour pacing publicly. It would be hard enough to keep still and shut up during the application. If I showed up early, there was a distinct chance I'd get myself in some trouble while waiting.

“Don't forget about our Winterlude date,” he said.

“What?”

“Winterlude. We're taking my sister's kids out on the canal this weekend, remember?”

His sister's kids? I didn't even remember that P.J. had a sister, let alone that we had a date with her kids. The whole Benning thing had been blitzing my brain. “Right,” I said.

“You're not going to slither out of it, Camilla.”

“I never slither.”

“Sunday evening.”

“Of course.”

“Got a tip for you. There's more to life than work.”

“Not today there isn't,” I said.

P. J. blew smoke out the side of his mouth and away from my face. The wind blew it back. Lucky for him he was cute. “Don't worry. That creep will get what's coming to him today. It doesn't matter how many cops he has in his pocket.”

“Here's hoping.”

“Make sure you practice your skating, Camilla. These two little guys are a handful.” He turned and headed back into the Second Cup.

That was a relief. P.J. was a helpful colleague, and I knew he believed someone on the local police force had done a lot of favours for Benning in the past. But any quotes from me would have led to grief if they had gotten into print. My family kept reminding me to watch what I said to the media. I tried.

In the few minutes it took to hike the block and a half towards the offices of Justice for Victims, I could feel the welcome heat seep out of my latte. With fresh snow on the sidewalk, it was lousy weather for staying on your feet. Everyone was late. People were mad as hell. Drivers peered through golf-ball-sized peepholes in frosted windshields. Just a matter of time until one of them swerved off the street. Perhaps it only looked liked they were aiming for pedestrians.

I was nearing the office when I heard the first sirens shriek. Three police cruisers, roof-lights flashing, edged past the stalled lines of traffic and shot north on Elgin St. I figured it must have been a robbery. Normally, I'd picture a terrorized teller in a big bank on Sparks Street, gaping at the gun pointed at her face. Of course, normally, I wasn't fighting hypothermia and losing.

I caught a glimpse of P. J. rocketing out of the Second Cup, his coat flapping open as he raced along the sidewalk. He might have been up all night, but where there are sirens, there are stories. Life had been a bit harder for police reporters since the Ottawa police acquired their digital system which you couldn't pick up on an ordinary newsroom scanner. So P. J. Lynch didn't pass up stories, even if he'd just worked all night.

I'd almost reached the door of the office when my cellphone rang. I balanced on frozen toes and tried to avoid getting knocked into the street by a slip-sliding man with a briefcase. To hell with it. I let it ring. It would be one of my three sisters and the subject would be Alexa's wedding and why I wasn't more cooperative about it. They all had cellphones and there was no getting away from them.

So hardly worth getting killed over. Another minute and the latte would be as cold as my toes and I wasn't even sure they were still attached to my feet. By the time I hit the front door, two more cruisers had flashed past. Must be one hell of a bank job, I thought as I heaved myself up the stairs to the second floor. I figured the latte was solid.

The sirens screamed on.

I opened my office door, holding the coffee between my chest and my chin. The bag with my chocolate almond biscotti was clutched in my teeth.

“Gotta go, Ma. Camilla's getting in. Don't worry about anything.” Alvin, my office assistant, hung up the phone.

“I hope I don't find another batch of collect calls from Sydney on the next phone bill,” I said.

“Hey, Camilla. Just fourteen days left before Valentine's Day, le jour de l'amour.”

“Do not speak.” I kicked the door closed. Valentine's Day is never my favourite occasion. This year my sister had chosen it for her wedding day. Another strike against it.

The bag with the biscotti slipped from my mouth and tumbled to the floor. Naturally, the cellphone rang again.

“Gee, I wonder who that is?” Alvin said. “We've already had a couple of calls from your sisters this morning.”

I let it ring. “Tell me something I wouldn't already know.”

Alvin tossed his ponytail. “This wedding is making you grouchier than usual, although that is hard to imagine. Try to chill out.”

“I'm chilled, Alvin.”

I plunked the latte on his desk and started to remove layers. Trusty parka. Wool hat. Thinsulate gloves. Snazzy leather boots. They were just three months old. Too bad they held in the damp and let out the heat. I had to replace them, but it was too cold to shop. I hate when my teeth chatter.

“People carry on about the weather up here, but I think it's all in the mind,” Alvin smirked.

“Oh, come on, don't you miss those mild Atlantic winters, Alvin? Soft fog, gentle breezes, mild temperatures?”

“Wet feet,” Alvin said, “grey days. Nope. Give me real weather any time. I love this stuff.”

Too bad. I always had high hopes I'd stumble on a way to send Alvin back to his loving family in Nova Scotia.

As usual, it was marginally warmer inside the offices of Justice for Victims than outside. I kept on the fleece, the silk long underwear and the red thermal socks—good to thirty below. I figured it wouldn't take more than twenty minutes until my toes rejoined the party.

You get what you pay for in office space. In our case, not much. Justice for Victims is in a lousy financial position at best. It would be a hell of a lot worse if I took a realistic salary. Or if Alvin did.

Was it my imagination or could I see my breath? I put the hat back on.

“Guess you're not expecting anyone to drop in,” Alvin said.

I still didn't bite.

“Wind chill factor must be some new record. I can tell because all those little hairs on your upper lip are covered with frost.”

My hand shot up to my face.

“What hairs on my upper lip?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

Alvin so often wins in the game of gotcha. As if it weren't bad enough being the stubby, dark-haired younger sister to a trio of elegant, willowy blondes, now I had a moustache. This could send my family into crisis. They'd have me waxed and plucked and probed by a dermatologist if they even suspected a hairy upper lip.

Alvin leaned back and flicked his ponytail over his shoulder. Behind the cat's eye glasses, his eyes glittered. He didn't react to the cold other than conversationally. The shirt with the parrot motif was a nice touch. So was the Jimmy Buffett CD. “Margaritaville” blasted out of Alvin's portable player.

But what was different about him? Ah. I spotted the squeeze tube of flash tan on the desk. That explained the coconut scent in the air. It also explained why Alvin's face was an odd shade of rust, as was one of his arms.

“Are you turning orange, Alvin? Perhaps you should seek medical attention before it's too late.”

“I'm using the power of positive thinking. You should try it. Decide it's not cold. Let your mind dictate to your body.”

“Assuming you have a mind,” I muttered. “The jury's still out.”

But Alvin wasn't finished. “If your mind dictates to your body, then you don't have to be a prisoner of winter and wear ugly clothes and have frost on your lip which makes you look like W. O. Mitchell. The white moustache, I mean, especially teamed with those red socks. Although, I'm not sure W.O. would have been caught dead in that hat.”

I picked up the coffee from his desk, bent down and retrieved the bag with the biscotti, and limped over to my own desk. I sat in silence and popped the lid. All the foam was gone. I took my first taste. Slightly better than a cold shower.

“It's not a style for everybody, but you carry it off, Camilla.”

Sometimes you have to make the best of adversity. On a typical day, I send Alvin on clusters of low-level yet time-consuming errands all over town: the post office, the dry cleaners, the bank. He finds addresses from the public library, pays traffic tickets at City Hall, and picks out birthday cards for my sisters, although after his last selection I had to stop that. But this could be the morning to send him to the drugstore for panty liners.

I dipped my biscotti into the flat cool latte and daydreamed about precisely what it would take to carry Alvin out of my life. I was rubbing my socks in an effort to restore feeling to my toes when the phone rang. And rang again.

“Answer the phone, Alvin.” I did not swear. I did not indulge in sarcasm. I did not hyperventilate. Not even on the third ring. I didn't want Alvin to press my buttons. This was harder than it sounds. “And take a message if it's one of my sisters.”

Midway through the fourth ring, before it flipped over to call answer, Alvin lifted the receiver with a languid hand and produced the kind of upbeat chirp you might expect in a chewing gum commercial.

“Justice for Victims. Good morning! Yes. Yes, it is. What? Oh! All right, certainly, I'll see if she's available. Please hold.”

“What? Of course I'm available. I'm right in front of you.” I reached over and snatched the receiver from Alvin's hand. “Camilla MacPhee here.”

“It's your sister,” Alvin said.

“Damn.” Too late. I didn't even have time to ask which one.

Edwina's measured tones drifted down the line. “Camilla, you have to get rid of that boy.” In a previous life Edwina might have been a head of state, leading the population through war and famine, brooking no opposition, keeping the dungeons full. Of my three sisters, she is the one I am least fond of finding on the end of a phone line.

“Perhaps you're right,” I said, “but I'm always afraid they'll bring back the death penalty.”

“Why can't he answer the phone like any normal person?”

“He can't, that's all. He just can't, and he'll never be able to. Deal with it and move on, Edwina. Or better yet, back me up the next time I try to tell our mutual father why I need a change of staff.”

“Oh, Camilla, you know how Daddy is about helping people. He'd never understand.”

Nicely understated. Somewhere back in time, my father had fond memories of Alvin's mother, now the widow of a spectacularly alcoholic shoe salesman. Alvin was number six of seven children and definitely in need of help. Since my father is the only person in the world I've never talked back to, Alvin continues to clog my life in his own special way.

My cellphone rang. This time Alvin answered on ring one.

“You're right, Daddy won't understand,” I said to Edwina. “And I'm stuck with the situation. So learn to call me at home.”

Alvin tapped my shoulder.

Edwina likes to dish out orders, not receive them. “No need to be snippy, Miss. I need your cooperation to deal with Alexa's wedding. The way it's going, it will drive the whole family crazy.”

I swatted at Alvin's hand. “Take a message,” I mouthed.

“The whole family's already crazy, Edwina,” I said. “And what do you have to complain about, anyway? It's not like you're stuck with being a bridesmaid. Try a little perspective.”

“Perspective?” Edwina sounded like she was choking. “Don't tell me to show a little perspective, Little-Miss-I-can't cooperate on any of the arrangements for my own sister's wedding because I was put on this earth to make life difficult for the human race.”

Alvin moved over to the front of my desk. He had his hand over the receiver. “I think you'd better take this one.”

“Listen, Edwina, if you mean the…”

“You know exactly what I mean.”

“No need to be nasty.”

I showed Alvin my middle finger.

Edwina sputtered from the receiver.

“Gotta go, Edwina. We should keep the discussions of the wedding to non-office hours, since you're so emotional.”

“What? You listen to me, Camilla MacPhee. You are the biggest problem we have. The point of my call is to tell you to shape up.”

Alvin stuck his face six inches from mine. Behind the pointy black spectacles his eyes were slits. He tried to wrap my hand around the receiver.

“One minute.”

“Don't you ‘one minute’ me,” Edwina barked. “Your sister has a well-deserved second chance at happiness, and she doesn't need you to act like a spoiled brat and ruin everything. Do I make myself clear?”

“If Alexa's foolish enough to think she can be happy with a pudgy middle-aged police officer.…”

It takes more than a loud voice to force the supreme ruler to back down. “Fine. We're having a family dinner,” she said. “Wednesday. My place. Six thirty. We'll discuss it then.”

Family dinner? I thought fast. Trip out of town? Frostbite? Amnesia? “But.”

“No buts. Stan will pick you up.” Edwina hung up before I could think of twelve unassailable reasons why I couldn't attend. Trounced again.

Alvin paced in front of my desk. The parrots on his shirt flapped.

“Is it necessary to hound me when I'm on the phone?”

“It's Lindsay Grace,” he said. “She says it's an emergency.”

I grabbed the receiver.

“Lindsay?”

Nothing.

“Lindsay? It's Camilla. Are you all right?”

Dead air.

“Lindsay!” Shouting didn't help. The dial tone was the last sound I wanted to hear. I sank into my chair. To do Alvin credit, he didn't think it was funny.

“Did she say where she was calling from?”

He shook his head.

“Did she say what happened?”

“No. She said it was urgent, and she needed to talk to you.”

“That was it?”

“She kept saying Benning was out.”

“Hardly.”

“That's what she said. She was practically hysterical.”

“Well, she's often hysterical. And he can't be out. That's absurd.”

“But what if he is?”

I couldn't bring myself to think about it.

“Not possible. Ralph Benning is a guest of the Regional Detention Centre, and he's not going anywhere.”

“But it's Benning. Anything could happen. He is going somewhere. They have to move him to the Courthouse.” Behind the fake tan, Alvin was pale. Who wouldn't be?

“Look, Alvin. He is behind Plexiglas and bars. When they move him, he'll be shackled and surrounded by big guys with Glocks and nervous twitches.”

He turned toward the wall and bit his lip. “He'll murder her. Remember? He's threatened to.”

I remembered all right. If anyone could escape, he could. And if Ralph Benning was out, he would find a way to kill Lindsay. No doubt about it. But how could he be out? My hands were shaking as I dialed her number.

But Lindsay Grace didn't answer.