Читать книгу A Cowboy In Her Arms - Mary Leo - Страница 12

Chapter Two

“That’s him,” Callie told her older sister Coco. The two women tried to hide behind a cluster of aspen trees. The parade had long since ended, the floats dismantled and stored in the old potato processing plant that had been converted several years ago to an open warehouse now used mostly for storing floats and other parade items.

Callie had made her apologies to her neighbors who’d bounced off the potato float, to the kids in the marching band she’d disrupted, to Mr. Harwood—their director—and to everyone and anyone who she thought might need an apology. She was sure there would be a write-up in the local paper about her fiasco, but that was nothing new to her. She’d been in the local paper several times in her life for mainly the same type of disorderly thing, except, of course, when she was crowned Miss Russet. Then it was all praise all the time.

Fickle townsfolk...how soon they forget.

The regional rodeo had already begun to gear up at the fairgrounds where Callie would once again be joined by the other Idaho Misses to open the festivities the following night. But tonight it was all about the carnival, great food provided by local and some out-of-town restaurants, and the fireworks, which were sometimes better than the Fourth of July celebration.

Piping hot baked potatoes were free tonight, courtesy of the surrounding farmers and ranchers, and everyone in town seemed to be enjoying the perk. The spuds were individually wrapped in parchment paper and cracked open for convenience. Condiments such as butter and other enhancers were provided. However, most residents preferred their spud plain and treated it like a fine wine, savoring the natural flavors. Callie was more into sour cream and chives on her baker, but she usually relegated that controversial fact to her meals at home.

She had been anxious to share the news of Joel’s appearance with her sister, who was the voice of reason, for the most part.

“Who exactly am I spying on again? And by the way, he’s one fine cowboy.”

“Joel Darwood. The Joel Darwood who broke my heart, then poured gasoline on it and set it on fire...and he’s about as far away from being a cowboy as I’m a rock star.”

Coco peeked around the trees to grab a better look. The sisters were barely a year apart, fifty weeks, to be exact, and had always been as tight as thieves. They’d shared everything except their clothes. At six feet, Coco was the tallest of Callie’s three sisters, had a bigger bone structure and sprang every button on any of Callie’s shirts she’d ever attempted to wear. She wore her deep chestnut hair extra short so she didn’t have to mess with it, mostly wore jeans, boots and a T-shirt, and could ride a horse just about as well as their brother, Carson. She was the type of woman who liked to focus on one thing at a time, and for the past six years that focus had been on becoming the best veterinarian this town had ever seen.

“It can’t be. After what he did to you, he wouldn’t have the nerve to show his face in this town.”

“Maybe we could sic Punky on him.”

Coco shared her tiny house in town with Punky, a Yorkie who thought he was a German shepherd. He’d been nursed and raised with a group of shepherds after his own mom had died soon after he was born. Punky conducted himself accordingly, being very protective of Coco, who had found him the loving new mama German shepherd who had treated him as one of her own. Nothing scared Punky, not even the biggest of dogs or a horse, for that matter.

Even now, as Punky waited patiently at the end of a bright red leash, Callie could tell he was on full alert. His ears were perked, and an occasional guttural growl emanated from his tiny body, causing him to shiver in its wake.

“Punky deserves better.”

“You’re right. Joel’s not worthy of Punky’s attention, good or bad.”

“Are you sure that’s really him?” Coco asked. “He looks a lot different than those pictures you sent us from college.”

“Absolutely. I know Joel Darwood when I see him. Besides, it’s been almost six years. I’m way over him.”

Coco gazed back at Callie, giving her one of those yeah, sure you are looks. “Then why are we hiding behind this tree? And tell me more about that little mishap in the parade today...which had absolutely nothing to do with your seeing him again.”

“I told you, I was simply trying to get a better look to make sure it was him. And besides, you know how stubborn Apple Sammy can be.”

“He’s not the only one who’s stubborn.”

Callie ignored the jab. “Do you want to help me with what to say to him or not?” Callie stuck a fist to her hip, anxious to get this whole thing settled. She needed to know why the dirty rotten scoundrel was in Briggs and how long he intended to stay. Coco was not cooperating the way Callie had hoped she would.

“Sure, but only if you’re sure you aren’t harboring some feelings for the guy.”

“Stop it.”

“What? I’m just sayin’...”

“And what’s that exactly?”

“You said you’re over him, and I’m going to take you at your word. But what if he and Sarah broke up and he’s come to Briggs to apologize for all the pain he caused you? If I remember correctly, you said he was the only guy you ever loved.”

“I was young and naive.”

Coco gave Callie a quick eye roll. “Not so young, and you haven’t been ‘naive’ since the tenth grade. Remember Blake Granger?”

Blake Granger was the oldest of the Granger brothers, who had a reputation of being real charmers. Back in high school, kissing one of the Granger boys brought on as much envy from the other girls as kissing a cute celebrity.

“I told you a million times, nothing ever happened between Blake and me other than a few hot kisses. And stop talking crazy about Joel. Like I could fall for his lying, cheating ways ever again. You above all people know how long it took me to get over him, and I am so over him.”

“Then where’s his wife? Where’s Sarah?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. Once his wife’s aunt Polly left town, no one really kept up on her family. Only that the Double S Ranch has fallen into disrepair, but other than that, there hasn’t been any gossip. If his wife isn’t here, and if she’s anything like she was in college, she’s probably hiding out with her current lover. She never could stay loyal to anyone for very long...including me, her best friend.”

Callie refused to ever say his wife’s name out loud. That hurt still ran deep.

“Do you think he recognized you today?”

Callie had caught the acknowledgment on Joel’s face before he turned and walked away that afternoon.

“Unfortunately, yes. The thing is, I don’t know what I want to say to him. I mean, I used to know what I wanted to say, but now that he’s here, it’s like my thoughts are all jumbled up. That’s why I pulled you into this. You’re good at these kinds of things. What would you say?”

Coco glanced back, then casually leaned against a tree and folded her arms across her chest. “Well, my irate sister, you should’ve asked me sooner, ’cause that lyin’, cheatin’, counterfeit cowboy is heading our way.”

* * *

JOEL HAD SPOTTED Callaghan standing behind the aspen trees almost as soon as she and her friend had arrived. He’d spent the entire afternoon thinking about what he would say to her if and when they bumped into each other today, but so far he hadn’t come up with a single thing that sounded the least bit intelligent.

The thing was, he was tired of waiting for Callaghan to come to him. She’d been standing behind the trees for the better part of a half hour, with her friend doing all the spying, and frankly he’d reached his limit. Never mind the tiny slip of a dog that seemed to growl and bark at him whenever he looked their way.

“Where are you going, Daddy?” Emma asked as Joel eased himself up off the blanket they shared with Aunt Polly on the expanse of lawn just on the other side of the small outdoor rodeo arena. The town’s fairgrounds were a mix of landscapes conducive to all sorts of events, from the arena with the surrounding bleachers to the blacktop area where all the food stands had been set up, to the grassy part suitable for picnics or waiting around for a fireworks display.

“You stay here with Auntie Polly. I’ve got someone I need to talk to.”

“Okay, but don’t take too long. You don’t want to miss the fireworks!” Emma warned as she finished off what had to be the biggest puff of cotton candy he’d ever seen. He was sure she wouldn’t sleep for the next week from so much sugar, but he just couldn’t deny her when she’d asked so sweetly if she could have one.

As he walked closer to Callaghan, his heart started racing and he felt a bit twitchy, like he’d swallowed an entire beehive and they now buzzed through his veins. He’d never really given her much thought over the years, and his wife, Sarah, had barely spoken of her except in passing. Right after everything initially went down, Callaghan had seeped into his consciousness several times, but Joel had been a runner in those days, and running away from his thoughts had been something he’d gotten very good at.

Apparently, he’d recently lost that ability along with his ability to essentially ignore his own daughter. Once he let Emma into his heart, everything changed, almost as if he’d switched on his emotions. Now, as Callaghan and her friend—or maybe it was one of her sisters, he couldn’t be sure; he’d only seen pictures of her family—stepped out from behind the trees, English seemed to be a foreign language. His words were all messed up and the only phrase that came to mind was, get the heck out of here!

As soon as he came within a couple feet of Callaghan, their silly little dog bared its teeth and growled, as if it was about to do some major damage if Joel didn’t curb his ways.

“That dog seems a bit angry,” Joel said to the tall woman holding the leash. Facially, she resembled Callaghan, even though size-wise, they were nothing alike.

“He can sense danger,” the woman warned, gripping the leash as if she were trying to control a Great Dane or a retriever.

“I’m far from dangerous,” Joel told her, trying to make light of the crazy situation.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” Callaghan countered. “I’ve been at the receiving end of some of your harsher treatment.”

He chose to ignore her barb. “It’s been a while, Callaghan. Time has been good to you.” Seeing her up close only made the knot in his stomach tighten. She’d grown a lot more beautiful with time, if that was even possible. She took his breath away.

“I’d return the compliment if I thought for one minute you meant it.”

The delusional pooch let out a mouthful of yappy barks. Joel ignored it.

“I’ll just leave you two alone,” the woman said, her voice deep and husky.

“Please don’t leave on my account,” Joel told her. “I won’t be staying long.”

“Why not?” Callaghan asked. “And by the way, I go by Callie now, and this is my sister Coco.”

“Nice to meet you,” Joel told her, putting out his hand as a gesture of friendship, only she didn’t take it.

“I should go,” she said, as Joel quickly turned toward Callaghan, feeling about as awkward as a chicken that had walked into a fox den.

The women hugged, then Coco began to walk away, but not before the little dog bared its teeth once more.

Joel chuckled at its spunk. “I don’t think that dog likes me.”

“He’s just emulating my feelings,” Callaghan said.

“Ouch!” Joel jerked his head as if he’d been slapped.

Callaghan or Callie wasn’t amused.

“What are you doing here, Joel?”

“I’m living in Briggs now, with Sarah’s aunt Polly. We’re fixing up the Double S Ranch. It needs a load of work, but with a little elbow grease, it’s coming along.” He knew the work on the ranch was much more than he’d anticipated or knew how to fix, but he didn’t like to admit it out loud.

He shifted his hat on his head.

Joel wasn’t used to wearing a cowboy hat. The thing weighed heavy on his head and caused him to want to adjust it all the time. Plus, his feet hurt from the new boots he’d decided to wear and he didn’t particularly like the pinch of the belt he wore, let alone the buckle that poked him in the stomach every time he bent over.

Truth be told, he was about as uncomfortable in his cowboy getup as a cat in a bucket of water.

“Takes a lot of grit for you guys to show up in Briggs and want to settle down here after all that’s happened.”

She wrapped her arms across her chest and began pacing just as the first spray of sparkling lights exploded in the sky behind her. He could tell she was saying something, but he couldn’t quite make it out over the noise coming from the rapid fire of the fireworks display.

Just as well, the look on her face as she spoke told him she wasn’t praising his decision to move to Briggs. No warm and fuzzy for him. No welcome mat or welcome anything. Instead, she seemed to be reciting the riot act, which he deserved, but was glad he couldn’t hear.

There was a break in the action so Joel tried to jump in and tell her she was wasting her breath. “Callie, I’m afraid...”

But she cut him off before he could get a full sentence out.

“You should be afraid...” she said, and went on with her muffled tirade.

She finished at almost the exact same time the last of the fireworks burst in the sky, causing a visceral reaction in him as he remembered another time when they’d watched fireworks together, naked, from the tiny deck outside his apartment off campus. They’d just finished making love when the Fourth of July fireworks had started at the local stadium. She had been hesitant to step out on the deck without even a blanket to cover her body, but Joel had assured her no one was around...until they spotted Old Man Greely peering at her from across the courtyard.

Joel immediately stood in front of her, but by then, Callaghan told him it was too late, so instead she twirled around a few times and danced back inside, undoubtedly giving Mr. Greely the time of his life.

“I’m sure I deserve everything you just said and possibly more,” Joel told her, glad he hadn’t been able to hear any of it.

“That’s your answer?” Her shoulders went down as she shuffled her feet.

“What was the question?”

“What are you doing here, Joel?”

“Like I said, I’m living here now, settling in with Polly Sloan and my little girl, Emma.”

“And where’s that wife of yours? Oh, wait, don’t tell me. She’s dumped you for another man. Maybe there is karma in this world after all.”

Her comment sliced through his heart, pulling the last breath out of his soul. He assumed... He never suspected for a moment... In a small town like this where news had to travel like greased lightning, it didn’t seem possible that she didn’t know the truth about what happened to Sarah.

His stomach clenched. “I assumed you knew, Callie. I never for a moment thought you...”

“What? Heard that your wife ran out on you? No. I didn’t know, but your showing up here without her can only mean one thing. She left you with a child to raise while she went off with another guy. Is that about right?”

He knew Callaghan well enough to see that hidden under all her bravado, she was still hurting. He didn’t know quite how to tell her what had happened to Sarah, how to break it to her gently. He decided instead to simply come out and say it.

“Callie, Sarah died six months ago in a small plane accident. I thought you knew. I’m so sorry.”

* * *

IT FELT AS if someone had punched Callie in the stomach and forced out all the air in her lungs. She took in a deep, ragged breath. Her eyes instantly reflected her emotion. She tried to control the tears, but it seemed impossible to do.

“I had no idea, Joel. I’m so sorry. What happened?”

As Joel sucked in a breath to answer her question, a blond-haired little girl, with those same sky blue eyes that Joel had, with traces of pink cotton candy on her cheeks, appeared behind him, running full out.

“Daddy! Daddy! Did you see the fireworks? Weren’t they beautiful, Daddy? Which ones did you like best? I liked the great big red ones that burst into spinning stars. Those were my favorite. You should’ve come back, Daddy. We waited for you, but you didn’t come back like you promised.”

Joel ignored all her questions and instead swooped the child up in his arms and settled her on his hip.

“I’m sorry, kitten, but I’d like you to meet someone I knew a long time ago.”

The child wrapped her arms around her dad’s neck and nestled her head on his shoulder. “I don’t want to meet anybody, Daddy. I just want to go home with you and Auntie Polly.”

Callie suddenly felt awkward and out of place. Obviously, she was the intruder in this child’s world.

“That’s not very nice, Emma,” Joel whispered to his daughter. “I taught you better than that. Where are your manners?”

“I’m tired, Daddy. I want to go home.” She balled up her hands and rubbed her tearful eyes. Callie couldn’t tell if her fatigue was genuine or if she was trying to manipulate her dad. Either way, Callie wanted the awkward meeting to end.

“It’s okay,” Callie told him, not wanting to intrude on Joel and his child.

“I apologize,” Joel told Callie. “She’s usually not like this.”

“I’m sure it’s been a long day for her...for me, too. I’ll be heading home soon, as well.”

“See, Daddy, even the lady wants to go home.”

“Okay, baby,” Joel said as he rubbed Emma’s back. “But first could you at least say hello to the nice lady? Her name is Callie and she knew your mommy when she was a little girl.”

Emma slowly turned toward Callie as she twirled a thick strand of her golden hair between her fingers.

Callie blinked a couple times, trying to take in what she was seeing. Little Emma looked exactly like her mom, down to the dimpled chin and the way her hair curled in little coils around her face. She even played with her hair exactly like her mom had. The vision brought back the good memories of Sarah. The memories Callie had locked away and never wanted to think about again.

“You knew my mommy?” Emma asked in between staggered hiccups.

Callie could hardly speak as she stared at Sarah’s child. The resemblance was striking. “Yes, we used to play together at Aunt Polly’s house.”

“Aunt Polly said she was going to teach me how to ride a horse. Do you know how to ride a horse?”

But Callie suddenly felt tongue-tied, especially after her exhibition that afternoon.

Joel answered for her. “She sure does, kitten. She rode a horse in the parade today.”

Emma pushed herself up and away from her dad, then stared at Callie as if she was studying her for a moment. Joel pulled a tissue from his pocket, wiped her nose and dabbed at her tears.

Soon a wide grin spread across Emma’s cherub face. “Were you the lady who stopped the parade? She was funny.” Emma giggled.

“I...um...”

“Callaghan Grant! Well, I’ll be. It’s so very nice to see you again,” Polly Sloan said, her voice cracking with emotion as she walked up to Callie and gave her a tight hug. “Oh, my darling girl, it’s been way too long.”

Once Callie was surrounded in Polly’s love, she could barely control her brewing emotions over the news of Sarah’s death. It was one thing to hold a grudge against her former best friend for all those years, but that grudge didn’t overshadow how she felt now that she’d learned about Sarah’s passing. Callie never wished her any harm; she simply didn’t want to ever talk to her again...big difference.

“Joel just told me about Sarah,” Callie whispered, trying to keep her voice low enough so Emma wouldn’t hear her. “I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you, sweetheart. It was a shock to us all.”

When they separated, Callie quickly dried her tears using one of the endless supply of tissues that Joel seemed to have in his shirt pocket.

“You’ll come over for dinner one of these nights?” Polly offered. “We’d love to have you as our guest. The place still needs a lot of fixing up, but it’s coming along.”

Callie didn’t know what to say. She had always loved Polly like the aunt she never had. Polly was Sarah’s mom’s older sister, but she might as well have been Callie’s mom’s sister, as well. She had treated Callie and Sarah as equals.

When she and Sarah were young, they’d spend most of their summers on Polly’s ranch. The Snake River ran right through Polly’s land, and the beauty of it was never lost on Callie and Sarah. Most of those long summer days were spent playing in or around the river, sometimes fishing with Polly’s husband, Daniel. Callie had acquired a love of fishing from Daniel, and even now, when she felt stressed or anxious, a few hours of catch and release acted like a balm on her raw nerves.

But all those good memories happened a long time ago, Callie reminded herself. A lot had changed since then, changes that hurt even more now that she’d met Emma.

“Sure, but can I take a rain check on that invitation? I have some work I have to do in the next few days. My new job requires a lot of prep time.”

“Whenever you’re ready, sweetheart. No rush. Besides, like I said, the place needs more time. You might be disappointed if you stopped by before we brought the Double S back to its former glory.”

Emma leaned in on her dad’s shoulder, still playing with her hair. Joel held her tight against his chest, then he ran a hand over her hair and lovingly kissed his daughter on the top of her head.

Callie couldn’t help feeling a mixture of jealousy and profound sorrow as she watched Joel and Emma together. There was a time in her life when she had wanted nothing more than to have Joel’s baby, to be his wife, to raise their children together.

But her best friend had stolen her dream and made it come true for herself instead.

Callie still wanted a houseful of children, more than ever, but she also knew falling in love with the right man, a man who would love her back with the same commitment, was the single most important aspect of a solid relationship and a loving environment to raise those children.

Now, standing this close to Sarah’s child and seeing how much that child looked exactly like her mom only made Callie’s hurt deepen. Emma should have been her child, not Sarah’s.

“Okay, then let’s wait. You’re living here now, so we have all the time in the world,” Callie told her.

“Can we go home now, Daddy?” Callie detected a whine in Emma’s voice.

“Sure, baby,” Joel cooed.

The child not only looked like her mom, but she seemed to be just as strong-willed.

“We’ll see you soon, Callie,” Joel told her, then turned and walked away. Polly gave her another quick hug and joined them.

As Callie watched them disappear into the dark night, she knew she had no intention of ever stepping one foot on the Double S Ranch, and she certainly had no intention of ever breaking bread with Joel Darwood, the man she had once loved with all her heart.

* * *

JOEL SLIPPED A sleeping Emma into her car seat, made sure Polly was comfortable in the passenger seat and drove his red SUV out of the fairgrounds heading toward home. A full moon led the way on the dark, empty back roads.

“It was nice seeing Callaghan again. Actually it was nice seeing everyone again. I had a great day, and from the looks of it, so did Emma. How about you, Joel?”

Joel knew enough about Polly to recognize when she was fishing for information. They hadn’t talked much about his life with Sarah, although he was sure she understood more about it than he’d like her to. He didn’t think she knew that he and Callaghan—or Callie... He wasn’t sure if he could ever get used to calling her that—had ever dated. Sarah had never been a very forthcoming kind of person. Heck, for the five years they were married he doubted he knew much about her past. It was a revelation to him that she and Callie had spent so much time together during the summer, and even Callie hadn’t told him the details of those visits.

For one thing, he’d thought Sarah only visited for a couple weeks during the summers, but from what Callie had just said, it sounded as if Sarah had spent entire summers with her aunt.

He knew Sarah had grown up as the proverbial latchkey kid. Her mom was always too busy working or out on a date to give her child much attention. She’d had more boyfriends than Sarah could name. None of them were Sarah’s dad.

Unfortunately for Sarah, her dad had never been in the picture.

“It wasn’t what I’d expected, that’s for sure.”

“And what was that?”

Joel didn’t know how candid he should be with Polly. “For one thing, I didn’t expect to see Callaghan in the parade. By the way, she likes to be called Callie now.”

“Callie it is. I sensed there was something more between you and Callie than just a friendship, if there ever was a friendship. She seemed a little guarded, but that could just be because she was reacting to the news about Sarah. Funny, but I thought everyone would have known by now. That was well over six months ago.”

“Apparently the town must be isolated from that kind of news. Plus, don’t forget you and Sarah haven’t been a part of this town for several years.”

“Still, Callie appeared distant, as if she was holding something back...which didn’t seem to be the case when she was talking to you. I couldn’t make out what she was saying, but she didn’t look too happy.”

Joel didn’t know if now was the time to tell her about their sordid past, but he was trying to be a more honest man, so this seemed like as good a time as any.

“Polly, there’s something you should know about Callie and me.”

“What’s that?” She turned to look at him, and when he glanced her way he couldn’t tell if what he was about to say would hurt her or put a strain on their relationship. He didn’t want to do either one, but she deserved the truth, at least as much as she needed to know.

He relaxed his tense shoulders. “Callie and I were dating before Sarah and I got together.”

Polly didn’t respond for what seemed like forever. His stomach lurched as he waited for her response. He tried to concentrate on his driving along the unfamiliar route, hoping Polly would say something to break the horrible silence.

“Did you love Callie?”

He’d had a passion for Callie, a passion that almost consumed him. He couldn’t seem to get enough of her, and felt his absolute best when he was in her arms. She made him feel as though he could do anything, conquer anything and be anything he put his mind to.

But had he loved her?

He couldn’t have, or when Callie told him what she saw for their future, he wouldn’t have run to Sarah. All he’d wanted was some sound advice from Callie’s best friend. He never expected it to go any further than that, and when it did, he just let it happen.

Joel hadn’t been capable of loving anyone back then, and even now, love still seemed elusive. Oh, sure, he loved Emma, probably more in the last six months than ever before in her life, but true romantic love, the kind that Polly still felt for her late husband, Daniel... He didn’t know if he could ever feel that sort of deep, powerful love for anyone.

“I couldn’t love anybody back then, not even myself.”

“But you dated her.”

“Yes, for almost two years.”

“Did you love Sarah?”

The road before him seemed endless, as if it could go on into infinity. As if he knew he couldn’t get out of the car until he told Polly the truth.

“She was the mother of my child.”

He kept his eyes on the road, a tight grip on the wheel, looking for his turnoff...hoping for his turnoff.

“You didn’t answer my question. And believe me, Joel, I won’t be offended by your answer as long as you tell me the truth. I don’t abide liars of any kind...at least not on the big stuff. Did you love Sarah?”

He took in a sharp snap of air. “I did not.”

“Ever?”

“No.”

“Did she love you?”

“If she did, she never showed it or told me.”

“Then why did you marry her?”

“She was pregnant with my child.”

“But why did you marry her?”

“I just couldn’t run away. Not from that. If she was going to have the baby, I would always be his or her dad.”

“Still, you could have walked. Paid child support and visited on holidays.”

He couldn’t do that, even back then he couldn’t abandon his unborn child and provide Sarah with a reason to consider giving up the baby. Not that he’d spend a lot of time thinking about it; he’d merely reacted to the situation in the only way he knew how. But now that he was forced to rehash it with Polly, he realized it was the one moment in his life that he was proud of.

“It was the right thing to do,” he said, knowing perfectly well he’d never been all-in either as a husband or a father. Sure, he married Sarah but he never took up the responsibility reins...until now.

Polly turned back to face the road and he caught her glistening eyes that gave away her true feelings. He could only hope she didn’t hate him.

“That’s our turnoff up ahead,” she said, her voice steady and strong. “It’s easy to miss at night, but look for the dogwood tree that Daniel planted when we were first married and you’ll always find your way back home.”

“Thanks,” he told her, knowing full well he was thanking her not for the directions but for accepting his answer.