Читать книгу The Three Things Divorced Catholics Needs to Know - Mary Lou Rosien - Страница 6

Introduction

On my third wedding anniversary, my husband came to me and said he needed “to think some things out.” I remember being shocked at the seriousness of his expression and asked, “What if you can’t figure anything out?” He replied, “Then I will come back and we will figure it out together.” He kissed me, left the house, and disappeared for three days.

When he returned, he told me he wanted a divorce. I didn’t see it coming. I was completely dismayed and, in a state of disbelief, begged him not to do this to us. He ended our marriage anyway.

As a Catholic, the end of my union seemed unthinkable to me. I felt sad, lonely, confused, and abandoned. I couldn’t understand how a loving God could let this happen. One of the hardest parts of this break up was the emotional pain and isolation it caused me. I truly believed that it takes two people to make a marriage and, equally, two to break one. The reality that one person can end it all was very hard for me. I spent months going through all the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance (following the Kübler-Ross model).

I wish I could give those of you suffering through a divorce a quick way to fast-forward through this pain, but it takes time. I remember becoming so depressed that I wanted to give up. If I am completely honest, I even considered the thought of ending my own life at one point, but I had survived the suicide of my younger brother a few years before and knew firsthand the pain and devastation it caused. I also knew, deep down, that pain is an emotion. Emotions are not accurate in predicting the outcome of situations. Emotions change, and that is the thought I clung to in my darkest moments. I held fast to the family members I loved and committed myself to living so I would not be the cause of any more pain.

When the depression lifted, I was able to see my life as it was, and I made the decision to live my life in joy. (Surviving this suffering was the inspiration for my book The Joy-Filled Broken Heart, CreateSpace, 2016.)

Over the next few years, I would come to terms with the Church’s teachings on marriage, divorce, annulment, and remarriage. Eventually, I was trained as an annulment-case sponsor. This journey was difficult and, at times, frustrating.

In preparation for writing this book, I interviewed Catholics who have been through a divorce and discussed with them the many challenges presented through that process. I have discovered some common threads for those who found joy following a divorce. These commonalities center around handling — with the help of the Church — 1) Emotional hurt, 2) The annulment process, and 3) Separation from the sacraments. I hope to share those insights. My sincere desire is that in these pages you will find hope and a path to joy following your own divorce or for those in your life affected by divorce.

Prayer

Lord, guide me to the insights I need to help me find joy.

Questions for Reflection

1. What do I hope to find in this booklet?

2. What am I struggling with the most following my divorce?