Читать книгу God Still Don't Like Ugly - Mary Monroe - Страница 10

The few letters and telephone conversations I had shared with my daddy during the last five years had not revealed much about him and his new family. But when he and Lillimae started talking, while we were still eating dinner, I heard everything I had been anxious to hear. And a few things I didn’t want to hear.

Even though Daddy had admitted that he was sorry he had deserted my mother and me, he made it clear to me that he was happy with his new family. My other two half-siblings, Amos and Sondra, were both in the military, stationed somewhere in Germany. Daddy had retired from a security guard position at a rough high school and now lived on a monthly pension check.

Other than an occasional dinner with a pushy grandmother he referred to as “Miss Pittman,” Daddy had no love life. “I don’t miss havin’ no lady friend,” he insisted, a faraway look in his eyes. “Women done got me in enough trouble to last me from now on.”

Immediately after the elaborate meal, Daddy excused himself from the table in the middle of a sentence. He ran to the bathroom, moaning and cussing all the way.

“He’s got weak bowels,” Lillimae whispered, rising from the table.

I had almost forgotten how kicked-back people were down South. It was late in the evening and Lillimae was still in her bathrobe from that morning. There was now gravy on her bare feet that had dripped off her overflowing dinner plate. She ignored the gnats hovering above her toes, but every few minutes she lifted her feet and shook them.

“Poor Daddy. He’s so proud and independent, it took me a year to talk him into movin’ in with me so I could look after him. And not a minute too soon, girl. Miss Pittman was just about to reel him in like a carp.”

“What-all is wrong with Daddy? He doesn’t look too well,” I said with concern, tapping my fingers on the naked wooden table situated in the middle of the small kitchen.

“Oh, he’s in pretty good health for a man his age, but he was so lonely livin’ alone. And in a neighborhood that was so rough even the cops got robbed on the streets. I was just as lonely as Daddy was.” Lillimae paused and leaned down to scratch the side of her foot. Then she started removing plates from the table.

“I’ll help you clean up,” I offered. I stood up, my legs feeling like lead pipes. I massaged my thighs, frowning at the hole on the knee of my pantyhose that I had ruined crawling out of the cab.

She waved me back to my seat. “You just sit there. You’re company. It ain’t every day I get to see family.” She paused and continued talking with her back to me. “Uh, some folks wouldn’t want nothin’ to do with a man’s outside woman’s kids. Sharin’ the same blood wouldn’t mean a damn thing to them.”

“Well, I don’t feel that way.” I sniffed and coughed to clear my throat. “Speaking of blood, where is your mother these days?” I asked, returning to my seat with a thud so hard, my tailbone ached.

I had no love for the woman who had ruined my life, but I wanted to know more about her. Muh’Dear had always advised me, Know thine enemy, because knowledge is power. I had to know for myself what it was about the woman who had managed to weaken my daddy and lure him away from his responsibilities.

Lillimae let out a deep sigh and pressed her thin lips together so tight it looked like they had disappeared. Then she started talking in a low, controlled voice. “Oh, she took off when I was ten. I heard that she lived in Key West for a few years. Mama’s family didn’t want nothin’ to do with me and Sondra and Amos, so we couldn’t keep up with Mama’s life. I just found out three years ago that she’s back in Miami with a new husband. I have two other half-sisters that I’ve never even seen or talked to.” Lillimae blinked and smiled sadly. “That’s why it was so important for me to meet you.”

“Oh.” The kitchen window was open and smoke from one of the houses next door streamed in, making my eyes burn and itch. I blinked and rubbed my eyes. “It’s too bad you don’t get to spend time with her,” I managed. Nobody knew as well as I did how painful it was not to have much of a family. My mother and my Aunt Berniece had been the only relatives I had when I was growing up.

Lillimae continued talking as she started washing dishes. “Mama’s baby brother Lester married a woman I went to school with. Roxanne McFinney. How a cracker like him ended up with such a nice lady is beyond me. I talk to Roxanne every now and then. We go to the same dollar-a-load washhouse. She tells me that my Uncle Lester is so racist, he won’t even wear black underwear. Lester would bite Roxanne’s head off if he knew she associated with a mutt like me in public. But Roxanne still sneaks by here every now and then anyway.”

I didn’t know where Lillimae’s bathroom was, but I could hear Daddy still moaning and cussing. He flushed the toilet about every other minute.

“Poor Daddy. I been tryin’ to get him to go to the doctor to get somethin’ for his stomach. But you know how stubborn some of our Black men are when it comes to their health. And they act like they know everything. Daddy had a runnin’ buddy who wouldn’t listen to nobody when he got these growths on the back of his neck. Even when one started oozin’ pus. Well, bein’ so stubborn got Brother Hamilton nowhere but in a hole at the Oak Grove Cemetery over in Alabama.” Lillimae paused and motioned me back to the living room.

I sat down on the dangerously weak couch. She sat down across from me on a wobbly bamboo chair.

“How long can you stay down here?” Lillimae asked, fanning her face with the tail of her bathrobe, revealing puckered fat on her thighs that reminded me of blisters. It was a struggle, but somehow she managed to cross her massive legs. I didn’t even try to do that, because it was too much trouble.

I looked at my watch before answering. “Just a few days. I need to save some vacation days for my honeymoon cruise.”

A broad smile appeared on Lillimae’s face and she shook her head and clicked her teeth. She rubbed the side of her neck and looked at me, blinking hard. “Girl, would you believe I spent my weddin’ night in the emergency ward gettin’ my jaw wired up? My man beat the livin’ daylights out of me for slow dancin’ with his best man.” She chuckled and let out a deep sigh. “My thirtieth birthday at that. Me and Freddie Lee had already been together for ten years and had two babies.”

“You must have had some wedding reception. Are you still married?” I didn’t laugh. There was nothing funny about a man hitting a female. I still had nightmares about the beatings that Mr. Boatwright had showered me with the few times I tried to keep him out of my bed.

Lillimae shook her head and shrugged. “That thing I married took off before the ink dried on our marriage license. Freddie Lee—that’s my husband’s name—was so jealous, he didn’t even allow me to go to male doctors. Every time I left the house and came back, he made me take off my panties so he could sniff ’em to see if he could smell another man’s juice. I broke his black ass up from that real quick, though. One time I went out and ate the biggest bowl of pinto beans and cabbage greens I could find. Then I washed it all down with some home-brewed beer. My panties was nice and ripe by the time I got home for him to sniff ’em. I didn’t have to worry about none of his foolishness after that.” Lillimae paused and laughed so hard, a huge tear rolled down the side of her face like a marble.

“Where is this Freddie Lee now?” I asked.

Lillimae gave me a serious look and groaned. “He’s in Lauderdale, livin’ with his mama. She manages one of them bait shops and he works with her.” Lillimae paused and grimaced. “Freddie Lee can be such a worm hisself sometimes. No wonder he loves sellin’ worms now.” Lillimae sniffed and then a thoughtful look appeared on her face. “But he is a good daddy to our two precious little boys. That’s why I didn’t mind lettin’ him have them for the summer. When I call to talk to the boys, me and Freddie Lee talk, too. We still love each other. I know we’ll eventually work things out and hook back up. If not for us, for our boys. A child needs both parents to feel whole.” Lillimae gave me a mournful look and quickly glanced over her shoulder in the direction where Daddy was. “I’m sure you know what I mean by that.”

“I do,” I said flatly.

“Besides, I can’t stand bein’ lonely, so I’m just about ready to put up with anything if he decides to come back. Even that panty thing he used to do. Daddy is seventy-two years old now. He won’t be around to keep me company too much longer. I’ve been so blessed to have him with me all these years.”

“I wish I could say that,” I muttered grimly.

Lillimae gasped and frowned. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean anything by that,” I said levelly, listening as Daddy flushed the toilet again.