Читать книгу Borrow Trouble - Mary Monroe - Страница 16

As hard as it was to believe, I still had feelings for Robbie. But I knew in my heart that I could not spend the rest of my life with him. It wouldn’t have been fair to him, and it wouldn’t have been fair to me. He did next to nothing to excite me, and if that was already bothering me, I couldn’t imagine how high I’d be climbing up a wall ten or fifteen years down the road. Compared to Leon, Robbie was from another planet.

There was never a dull moment with Leon. In addition to a regular weekly night out at the movies, Leon took me to dinner at least twice a week. Not to any of the greasy rib joints and cheap Ponderosa Steakhouses that Robbie used to take me to with coupons, but to five-star restaurants where the menus didn’t show any prices. Then, to show off, I started cooking Leon’s favorite foods for him. We both had ties to the Deep South, so we both loved greens, beans, corn bread, neck bones, ham hocks, and candied yams. Robbie was so indifferent, he didn’t care if I fed him cold hot dogs or mud pies. And getting honest compliments from Robbie was as difficult as pulling a hen’s teeth. The few times that I had tried to pry comments out of him about a new outfit or a new hairdo, he’d always said the same thing, “Baby, you look great!” Even when I knew I didn’t.

I had never felt like I had a whole man with Robbie. He seemed more like a half. Because of that, I felt like I had to be a woman and a half just so we’d make a complete couple! I didn’t have that problem with Leon.

I didn’t have the heart to break off my relationship with Robbie in person. I took the coward’s way out and called him up on the telephone. I had played it safe and waited another month, though. I felt badly about it, but I didn’t want to let go of one man until I was sure I had the other one securely hooked.

“Robbie, I have something I need to talk to you about,” I began, clutching the telephone in the teachers’ lounge. I had called him at his job at the gas station. Shirley Blake, a nosy busybody who taught first grade in the room right next to mine, walked in as soon as I got started. “Uh, Robbie, I might have to call you back,” I said, both my eyes on Shirley. As soon as she realized I was talking to a man, she came and stood right next to me. Like me, she was well into her twenties and had never been married.

“Ask your friend if he’s got a friend,” Shirley whispered in my ear, the garlic on her breath almost melting the side of my face. Shirley was one of the most attractive women I knew, and one of the most desperate. She was so anxious to get married that she had already purchased a wedding gown—and didn’t even have a steady boyfriend! Her beautiful shoulder-length black hair and soft delicate features had done her little good so far when it came to men. She had not had a date in over a year. Nobody knew what she did that turned men off. Robbie and I had had some interesting conversations, and a lot of laughs, about Shirley. I was going to miss that.

I covered the telephone receiver with my hand and gave Shirley a pleading look. “Do you mind? This is a private conversation,” I told her.

“Well, excuse me,” Shirley said in a loud, hostile voice, rotating her neck. She waved her hands, shook her head, and muttered under her breath as she rushed from the room.

I watched the entrance for a few seconds before I returned my attention back to Robbie. “Robbie, I need to tell you something,” I said, keeping my eye on the doorway.

“Was that Shirley Blake’s voice I just heard?” Robbie asked dryly, about as interested in her as I was.

“Uh-huh.”

“She still looking for a man?”

“Every day.”

“Well, I hope she finds her another one soon.” Robbie laughed.

“Um, that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about,” I stammered, turning my back to the door. I no longer cared who heard what I had to say to Robbie. With all of the gossips I knew, everybody would know about the breakup sooner or later, anyway.

“Talk to me,” Robbie ordered in a firm voice. He had never sounded this assertive before, so it stunned me for a few seconds. “Well, are you going to talk to me or not?” he said, sounding even more assertive.

I cleared my throat. “Robbie, there is another man in my life. It’s pretty serious between us. Uh…and I wanted you to hear it from me,” I blurted.

“You are too late,” Robbie replied, now sounding as weak and passive as ever.

“Who told you?” I gasped.

“Who didn’t? Your aunt Vicki that runs the produce stand told me. Your cousin Fred, who buys his gas at my station, he told me. Your mama told my mama, and then my mama told me. Your baby sister even told me.”

“Oh. Well, I am really sorry that you didn’t hear it from me, Robbie.”

“So am I,” he said, sounding tired and disappointed.

“Robbie, I wanted to tell you myself way before now, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“You are a little too late for that, too. And to tell you the truth, I already knew about you and Leon before anybody else told me. I saw you and him coming out of that fancy restaurant on Price Street a couple of weeks ago, hugging, kissing and everything. I got the picture….”

“Oh. Um…I know you will find someone else,” I said quietly. “And I hope you will be happy with whomever that is. You’re a good man, Robbie.”

“But not good enough for you.” Robbie’s voice sounded so hopeless, I almost changed my mind.

“Robbie, don’t do this to me, or yourself. I didn’t plan to fall in love with another man. It just happened. But…I hope that…uh…you and I can still be friends.”

“I still love you, Renee. Whether I marry another woman or not, I will always have a place in my heart for you. You were my first love, and that’s something I won’t ever forget.”

“Robbie, I think we should end this conversation right now. You take care of yourself. Do you hear me?”

“You, too, Renee. And, uh, you tell that IRS henchman that if he don’t treat you right, I’m going to whup his black ass.” Robbie laughed again. “Bye, Renee.”

It would not have done Robbie any good to try and talk me out of breaking up with him. I was a little disappointed that he didn’t even try. Now I was glad that I’d severed the relationship. But I had no idea that my decision was going to come back to haunt the hell out of me.