Читать книгу A Change of Wind - Maryl Brown - Страница 7

Little Sally Waters, sitting in a saucer

Rise Sally rise, Wipe your weeping eyes.

Put your hand on your hip let your backbone

Shift, shake it to the East, Shake it to the West

Shake to the one who love you best

A few months later on a very cold Valentine's day in Milwaukee, Handy was born. Just like white folks, they tried to be prepared in case the baby arrived early. Everyone was on alert; Mama told Mr. Willis to check on Lula each day in case she went into labor. Mr. Willis would say, “Blue please, I don't know nothing about no labor! What do I do if she starts hurting?”

Mama replied, “Call 911, call me at work and then call Marilyn at the college. Just do what I asked you,” and Mr. Willis got into his car.

“Where are we going” and she began looking at the side of his head.

“You old fool! Take me to work and drop off Marilyn at school.”

That February, the snow was up to your knees. The weatherman on the television said he hadn't seen weather like this in 50 years. Immediately after that comment, Lula began groaning and then hollering. There was nothing moving but Handy as she went into labor.

At that point all their planning went out the window. Mama was calm as she called Mr. Willis and told him that Lula was in labor. He immediately he told her he would meet them at Froedtert Hospital. Mama then called 911 and the ambulance said they were on their way, which was a good thing as Lula’s contractions were every few seconds.

Shortly after Handy was born, Lula's attitude took a drastic turn. Lula didn't want to even look at her baby. Mama's instinct took over, as she grabbed that big, beautiful baby and laid her in Lula's arms, only for Handy to snuggle close to her as if she knew who her mother was. She weighed ten pounds and five ounces and was long. Marilyn said to her, “I’d hate to see how tall the father is,” and Lula snapped back, “You won't get that chance.”

God always tried to help to put things in order before he takes people away. Just as suddenly as Lula reappeared, Marilyn and Lula watched the Lord call their mother home. Mama's doctor let them in on their mama's secret: She had stomach cancer for a very long time. Marilyn was disoriented by this news; how hadn't she noticed anything? Mama’s doctor said there were signs, but she just didn't want to worry you. Marilyn asked the doctor how long she had been sick, but suddenly she heard herself screaming at the doctor while they were standing in the emergency room. “I am sorry,” the doctor said, as he walked away. Lula, holding Handy, stood motionless and crying. Then suddenly Marilyn began to slowly sink down to the floor in the emergency room.

Marilyn didn't realize how much Mr. Willis cared about Mama, because he never showed emotion around them. At Mama’s funeral it didn't matter anymore; Mr. Willis let out a heavy moan that shook his whole body. As the undertaker went to lead him up to the casket, Mr. Willis dropped his arm from around Lula and folded his hands in his lap and cried out loud. Lula handed the baby to Marilyn and put her arm around Mr. Willis, patting his shoulder in sadness. The room was crowded and even more so in the choir. Neither Lula nor Marilyn had realized the huge role Mama had played in so many lives. After everyone had the chance to pay their respects to Mama, Marilyn and Lula stood up hand in hand walked over to the casket. They both took turns bending down for the last time to kiss Mama’s cheeks to say their final goodbyes.

Aunt Helen and Aunt Mary Jean from Nashville stood right behind both Marilyn and Lula as they stood stared at Mama. The aunts quickly took each one by their hands and led them away as the undertaker closed the casket on their mother life. They all held on in silence as they walked silently behind the casket. The Pastor began praying as they followed behind him to the outside. Aunt Helen nor Aunt Mary Jean asked Lula why she didn't come to live with them. The aunts took some of their sister's personal belongings back with them as they headed back to Nashville by train.

Time can bring shame to all of us when we are not expecting it, and Marilyn didn't see any of this coming. At first Lula admitted that she didn't know who Handy's father was. Then, out of the blue Lula began confessing to Marilyn about Handy's father. Marilyn watched her pause for a moment like she was trying to catch her breath as she began to talk about Handy's father to her. Marilyn reminded her that she didn't have the right know anything about Handy's father. “Marilyn, just let me get this out while I can,” as she went on.

“Mae,” Lula started as she held her breath, “I have HIV and I have had it for a while now. It doesn't matter how it happened or who gave it to me, it's not going away. Pointing to a black bag of pills, she said, “I have been taking these for a while now, and this is what keeping me alive. There is no cure, and I'm just glad that Handy was cleared and will be able to live a productive life.

“What about the people at the hospital who cared for you?” Marilyn said. “Isn't it against the law not to tell anyone.

“The doctors and the nurses were aware that I was in the incubator stage and I wasn't a threat to them. As time goes by, the pills seem as if they are working.”

“What about Handy, what will happen to her?” Marilyn looked at her with anger and said, “I'm going on into my third year in college; what about my life?”

Lula said sadly, “I'm sorry Mae,” and broke down in tears. Marilyn went over to Lula and hugged her.

“It's going to be alright,” Marilyn encouraged her, just like Mama used to. Mama left the house to both of them, and because they had plenty of space, they asked Mr. Willis if he wanted to move in with them, because he was like a father to them.

As Lula was preparing their evening dinner, Mr. Willis came right out and asked her, “Lula, is that baby Jackal's child? He is calling me asking questions about you.”

“Is something wrong with that?” she snapped back, and he walked outside to smoke.

“Mr. Willis knows your baby's father?” Marilyn asked with surprise. Lula followed him outside to the porch. Mr. Willis drew hard on his Kool Lights before handing one to her.

“I told that nigger not to mess with you, or I was going to kill him.”

“Don't be mad at him,” Lula replied.

“I sent you there for his help and not for him to knock you up. If your mama knew about this she would be turning over in her grave.”

“Who is Jackal?” Marilyn continued to ask. Mr. Willis replied, “He is an old thug baby, just a plain no-good nigger. But he was my best friend, a Vietnam vet and I knew he wouldn't refuse to help you.” Mr. Willis tossed the cigarette away. “I should have known something was wrong, because he hadn’t asked to get together in a long time.

“Does he know where you are living?” Lula asked him. “All he said was that he had been away somewhere,” Mr. Willis said. “Could have been in prison for all I know.”

As they talked quietly on the porch, Marilyn was glad he was around to watch Handy while she attended her college classes. He was there to take Lula to the doctor and went with her wherever she needed to go.

One day, Marilyn had just returned from school when she heard a knock at the door. There stood this tall, 6’2” brown skinned man with a shiny bald head and a distinguished look about him. “Does Lola stay here?” he asked.

“There is no one by that name lives here.” As she started to walk away from the screen door he said, “I'm sorry, I mean Lula; my name is Jackal,” as if she should know his name.

“Lula isn't here right now,” she said. “What about a friend of mine called Willis?” he asked.

“We are old Vet buddies,” he went on, and Marilyn quickly said he wasn't in. Closing the door, she began walking toward Lula’s bedroom. “Mae, Mae is that you?“ She heard Lula repeatedly call her. “I thought I heard your voice,” she responded weakly. “Were you talking to someone? Is that Willis back from picking up Handy?” She was lying in her bed breathing and sweating profusely before putting the breathing machine mask back over her nose and mouth.

Within a few weeks, she was too sick to see anybody - not even Mama's prayer partners, who came to pray with her. Jackal began to walk away as the door closed and he walked toward Mr. Willis who was staring at him with hatefulness. “If I had my pistol, I blow your damn head off,” as he looked at him. “What you are doing here, Jackal?” he asked him.

“Let me see Lula, please, man.” Mr. Willis warned him, “You are the last nigger she wants to see, trust me,” as he walked pass him to the front door. Grabbing Mr. Willis by the arm he shook his hand away from him. “Nigger you knocked her up and gave her AIDS.”

“What are you talking about?” Jackal protested.

“Lula is sick.”

Jackal sat down on their porch steps in shock. “Man do not play like you don't anything about this,” Mr. Willis said, as he sat down beside him and took out a cigarette.

“You didn't know.” Jackal shook his head in dismay and tears began to fall from his eyes as Mr. Willis put his arms around him.

“Man, where have you been then?” he asked Jackal. “On the run; I shot a couple niggers and I been on the run. Until a year ago, the cop caught up with me, so I went to jail and stayed in there close to a year before my trial came up in Texas, where they cleared me of all charges. I came to get my baby, man,” as Jackal continued to shed tears.

Mr. Willis said, “Come on in,” and he sat Jackal in the living room as he went to see how Lula was. “Where is Handy?” Lula asked. Jackal turned to face Mr. Willis in amazement. “She had the baby,” he whispered in a soft voice. “She had my baby.” Marilyn watched Jackal smile to himself as he sat in their living room. Mr. Willis tip toed quietly into Lula’s room before going back to the living room where Jackal sat. “Man, she’s sleeping, and I don't want to wake her up.”

“I’ll wait,” he said, “if I have to, I’ll wait all night.” Lula heard his voice in her sleep and called to Marilyn, asking who was in the house. “Nobody,” she lied to her.

“Why is Jackal here?” as she tried to turn over to face her. “Mae, help me to straighten myself up; I don't want him to see me like this,” and Marilyn quickly combed her hair in a ponytail and brushed some hair back in place. It is funny what appeals to a man, Marilyn thought to herself. She should have known that Lula could get such and attractive man even though he was older.

When Lula left home, she didn't come back asking for any help. Marilyn knew her Mama resented that because she would hear her say out loud that she was “just like those folks on her father’s side. They act as if they didn't need anybody. I don't know what I saw in your daddy to this day, but it must have been his good looks.”

Willis went to Lula’s bedroom to see how she felt about seeing Jackal.

“Baby girl,” he whispered into her ear, “Jackal is in the living room, but if it’s too much to see him, just tell me and I will send him away.”

“No,” she shook her head and took the mask away. “He will keep on coming if I don't see him.” Jackal stood timid and helpless as he walked toward her bedroom. “Tell him to put this mask over his mouth or I won't see him,” Lula said. Her eyes were closed when he walked in to see her. She cleared her throat and coughed profusely before she said anything to him.

“Willis told you where I lived? I thought it would be Mattie.”

Jackal seemed surprised. “You know Mattie, she couldn't keep a damn secret, could she?” Lula said jokingly.

“What do you want, Jackal?” she asked him.

“Baby, I didn't know you were sick, or I would have been here sooner,” he said tenderly. Lula spoke up, “Jackal I am dying,” and struggled to pull herself up. Jackal went over to help her and she pushed his hand away. “I came to say how much I love you,” he said, and before he could say anything else, Lula started screaming at him to get out of her room. She hollered so much that she fell back on the bed, coughing until Marilyn brought her some water to drink.

“Listen,” Marilyn said to him, “You probably meant well, but maybe you can come back another time when she is feeling better.” Jackal slowly left the room and Mr. Willis handed him some scotch to drink, telling him, “Maybe this will calm you down.” He took the glass and swallowed the scotch in a second and asked Mr. Willis to pour him another. Mr. Willis asked him to stay for dinner, but Jackal shook his head, leaving in agony as he walked out their door.

“Wait, man,” he reminded him, “You haven't seen your daughter yet.” Jackal tried to smile, but he couldn't and turned to him, saying, “Where is the baby?”

“Handy is at daycare right now. Man, Mr. Willis admitted to him, “She is so pretty, you just need to see her; she looks just like her mother.