William’s Progress
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Оглавление
Matt Rudd. William’s Progress
William’s Progress. Matt Rudd
Table of Contents
JANUARY
Tuesday 1 January
MY PRAYER
BIRTHING POOL: INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE
THE HORROR OF NAMING A CHILD
THE SPECIFIC MOMENT WHEN HAVING A BABY CEASED TO BE FUN
Wednesday 2 January
THE DADDY NAPPY
Thursday 3 January
WHY ALEX IS STILL ISABEL’S BEST FRIEND
Friday 4 January
Saturday 5 January
Sunday 6 January
Monday 7 January
Tuesday 8 January
Wednesday 9 January
Saturday 12 January
Sunday 13 January
Monday 14 January
Tuesday 15 January
Thursday 17 January
Friday 18 January
Saturday 19 January
Sunday 20 January
Monday 21 January
Thursday 24 January
Saturday 26 January
Monday 28 January
Wednesday 30 January
Thursday 31 January
FEBRUARY
Friday 1 February
Saturday 2 February
Sunday 3 February
Monday 4 February. CONTENTS OF MONDAY MORNING INBOX
Thursday 7 February
4 A.M
Friday 8 February
Saturday 9 February
Sunday 10 February
Thursday 14 February
THE ZEN PATH TO THE MASTERY OF PARENTING
Friday 15 February
Saturday 16 February
Sunday 17 February
Monday 18 February
THE ZEN PATH TO THE MASTERY OF PARENTING (CONTINUED)
Tuesday 19 February
Wednesday 20 February
Thursday 21 February
Friday 22 February
Saturday 23 February
HOW MUCH ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KISS ONCE YOU BECOME PARENTS?
Monday 25 February
Tuesday 26 February
Wednesday 27 February. THE THREE TERRIBLE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TODAY
MARCH
Friday 1 March. REASONS TO BE HAPPY
REASONS TO BE UNHAPPY
Saturday 2 March
Sunday 3 March
Monday 4 March
Tuesday 5 March
Wednesday 6 March
Thursday 7 March
Friday 8 March
Sunday 10 March
Monday 11 March
Wednesday 13 March
Thursday 14 March
Saturday 16 March
OTHER PRACTICAL SKILLS
Sunday 17 March
Monday 18 March
Tuesday 19 March
Thursday 21 March
Friday 22 March
Saturday 23 March
Monday 25 March
Tuesday 26 March
Wednesday 27 March
Thursday 28 March
Friday 29 March
Saturday 30 March
Sunday 31 March
APRIL
Monday 1 April
Tuesday 2 April
Wednesday 3 April
Friday 5 April
Saturday 6 April
Sunday 7 April
Monday 8 April
Tuesday 9 April
Wednesday 10 April
Thursday 11 April
Sunday 14 April
Monday 15 April
Wednesday 17 April
Thursday 18 April
Friday 19 April
Saturday 20 April
Sunday 21 April
Monday 22 April
Tuesday 23 April
Wednesday 24 April
Thursday 25 April
Saturday 27 April
Sunday 28 April
Monday 29 April
Tuesday 30 April
MAY
Wednesday 1 May. REASONS TO BE HAPPY
REASONS TO BE UNHAPPY
Thursday 2 May
Saturday 4 May
Sunday 5 May
Monday 6 May
Tuesday 7 May
Wednesday 8 May
Thursday 9 May
Friday 10 May
Saturday 11 May
Sunday 12 May
Monday 13 May
Tuesday 14 May
Friday 17 May
Sunday 19 May
Monday 20 May
Wednesday 22 May
THINGS NEW DADS INSTINCTIVELY LEARN. WITHIN WEEKS OF CHILDBIRTH
Saturday 25 May
Monday 27 May
Wednesday 29 May
Thursday 30 May
Friday 31 May
JUNE
Saturday 1 June. REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL
REASONS TO BE MISERABLE
Sunday 2 June
Monday 3 June
Wednesday 5 June
Friday 7 June
THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO YOUR WIFE WHEN YOU GET BACK FROM WORK IF SHE’S BEEN LOOKING AFTER THE BABY ALL DAY
Saturday 8 June
Sunday 9 June
Monday 10 June
Tuesday 11 June
Wednesday 12 June
Thursday 13 June
Friday 14 June
Saturday 15 June
Sunday 16 June
Monday 17 June
Tuesday 18 June
Wednesday 19 June
Thursday 20 June
Saturday 22 June
Sunday 23 June
Monday 24 June
Tuesday 25 June
Wednesday 26 June
Thursday 27 June
Friday 28 June
Saturday 29 June
Sunday 30 June
JULY
Monday 1 July
Wednesday 3 July
Thursday 4 July
Friday 5 July
Saturday 6 July
Monday 8 July
Tuesday 9 July
Wednesday 10 July
Thursday 11 July
Friday 12 July
Sunday 14 July
Monday 15 July
Tuesday 16 July
Wednesday 17 July
Thursday 18 July
Friday 19 July
Saturday 20 July
Sunday 21 July
Monday 22 July
Tuesday 23 July
Wednesday 24 July
Thursday 25 July. WHAT ARE THE FIRST SIGNS OF ALCOHOLISM?
Friday 26 July
ULTRA-SOPORIFIC DRIVING: ESSENTIAL TIPS YOU WON’T FIND IN THE HIGHWAY CODE
Saturday 27 July
Monday 29 July
Tuesday 30 July
Wednesday 31 July
AUGUST
Thursday 1 August
Saturday 3 August
Monday 5 August
Tuesday 6 August
Wednesday 7 August
Thursday 8 August
Friday 9 August
Saturday 10 August
Sunday 11 August
Monday 12 August
Tuesday 13 August
Wednesday 14 August
Thursday 15 August
Friday 16 August
Saturday 17 August
Sunday 18 August
Monday 19 August
Tuesday 20 August
Wednesday 21 August
Thursday 22 August
Friday 23 August
Saturday 24 August
Monday 26 August
Tuesday 27 August
Wednesday 28 August
Thursday 29 August
Friday 30 August
Saturday 31 August
SEPTEMBER
Sunday 1 September. THINGS TO BE PLEASED ABOUT
THINGS NOT TO BE PLEASED ABOUT
Monday 2 September
Tuesday 3 September
Wednesday 4 September
Thursday 5 September
Saturday 7 September
Sunday 8 September
Monday 9 September
DADDY POWER
MUMMY POWER
Tuesday 10 September
Wednesday 11 September
Thursday 12 September
Friday 13 September
Saturday 14 September
SOME OF THE THINGS THAT COULD KILL JACOB AND HOW
Sunday 15 September
Monday 16 September
Tuesday 17 September
Wednesday 18 September
Thursday 19 September
Friday 20 September
Saturday 21 September
Tuesday 24 September
Wednesday 25 September
Thursday 26 September
Friday 27 September
Saturday 28 September
Sunday 29 September
Monday 30 September
OCTOBER
Tuesday 1 October
GUIDE TO NOT BEING A BUNNY BOILER
Wednesday 2 October
Thursday 3 October
Friday 4 October
Saturday 5 October
Sunday 6 October
Monday 7 October
Tuesday 8 October
Wednesday 9 October
Thursday 10 October
Friday 11 October
Saturday 12 October
Sunday 13 October
Monday 14 October
REASONS IT WAS THE WORST MONDAY EVER
HOW TO WIN THE HOUSEHOLD CHORES BATTLE
Tuesday 15 October
Friday 18 October
Saturday 19 October
Sunday 20 October
Monday 21 October
Tuesday 22 October
Wednesday 23 October
Thursday 24 October
Saturday 26 October
Sunday 27 October
Monday 28 October
Wednesday 30 October
THE MIDDLE-AGE SELF-PRESERVATION SYSTEM (MASPS)
Thursday 31 October
NOVEMBER
Friday 1 November
Saturday 2 November
Sunday 3 November
Monday 4 November
Wednesday 6 November
Thursday 7 November
Friday 8 November
Saturday 9 November
Sunday 10 November
Tuesday 12 November
Thursday 14 November
Friday 15 November
Saturday 16 November
Sunday 17 November
Monday 18 November
Tuesday 19 November
Wednesday 20 November
Thursday 21 November
Friday 22 November
Saturday 23 November
Sunday 24 November
Monday 25 November
Tuesday 26 November
Wednesday 27 November
Thursday 28 November
Friday 29 November
Saturday 30 November
DECEMBER
Sunday 1 December
Monday 2 December
Tuesday 3 December
Wednesday 4 December
Thursday 5 December
Friday 6 December
Saturday 7 December
Sunday 8 December
Wednesday 11 December
Friday 13 December
Wednesday 18 December
Thursday 19 December
Friday 20 December
Wednesday 25 December
Tuesday 31 December
Acknowledgements
Also by Matt Rudd
Copyright
About the Publisher
Отрывок из книги
Another Horror Story
Title Page
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‘Yes, well, I was in denial. And denial led to confusion. And obsession. And…’
A week after that, contrary to Alex’s prediction, I found that I didn’t love Geoff. Geoff loved the sound of his own voice too much for there to be room for any other love. ‘William. Hi. Heard a lot about—Blimey, I hope that rug was a present, or are you being ironic? Maybe the latter, I’ve heard you’re quite dry and, my God, what a bold statement you’re making putting that picture against that wallpaper. Bravo. Anyway, sorry, where was I? So good to meet you. I was thinking on the way here that—’
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