Оглавление
Matt Rudd. William Walker’s First Year of Marriage: A Horror Story
Matt Rudd. William Walker’s. First Year of. Marriage. A Horror Story
Dedication
Contents
MAY
Sunday 1 May
THE FOUR TESTS OF A BRIDEGROOM
THE POST-MORTEM
Why did Watzerface storm out?
Monday 2 May
Tuesday 3 May
Why I married Isabel
Friday 20 May
Saturday 21 May
STUFF I WANTED AND DIDN’T GET
STUFF SHE WANTED AND DID GET
Monday 23 May
Favourite mother-in-law joke
Second favourite mother-in-law joke
Tuesday 24 May
The trouble with asking Johnson or Andy anything about women
Wednesday 25 May
Thursday 26 May
Friday 27 May
Johnson’s post-pee dribble trick
Saturday 28 May
WHY BRITISH MEN DON’T NATTER ON THE WHOLE TIME
Monday 30 May
The speed-date girls I could have ended up with
JUNE
Wednesday 1 June. REASONS TO BE HAPPY
REASONS TO BE UNHAPPY
Thursday 2 June. REASONS TO BE UNHAPPY (REVISED)
THE THREE DIFFERENT USES OF ‘DARLING’
Friday 3 June
REASONS TO BE UNHAPPY (RE-REVISED)
Saturday 4 June
The engagement ring
Sunday 5 June
THREE INTERESTING THINGS I LEARNT ABOUT MOROCCO WHILE SOMEONE HIT ON MY WIFE
Monday 6 June
Tuesday 7 June
Thursday 9 June
Saturday 11 June
The walk
The wedding photos
The lunch
Monday 13 June
Wednesday 15 June
Thursday 16 June
Friday 17 June
Saturday 18 June
The service
The meal
The speeches
The first dance
Sunday 19 June
Monday 20 June
How Saskia destroyed my last-but-one relationship
Tuesday 21 June
Saturday 25 June
Sunday 26 June
Monday 27 June
Tuesday 28 June
Wednesday 29 June
Thursday 30 June
JULY
Friday 1 July
SOME OF THE THINGS I NOW KNOW ABOUT RUDOLF NUREYEV
Saturday 2 July
Monday 4 July
Frustration one
Frustration two
Frustration three
Tuesday 5 July
Wednesday 6 July
Thursday 7 July
Friday 8 July
FIVE QUICK AND EASY STEPS BACK TO BACHELORHOOD
Saturday 9 July
Sunday 10 July
THINGS I DON’T WANT TO BE DOING WHEN I’M 50
Monday 11 July
RECIPE FOR MARMITE TOAST
Tuesday 12 July
Wednesday 13 July
Thursday 14 July
Friday 15 July
Saturday 16 July
The wedding
The service
The meal
The speeches
The first dance
Sunday 17 July
Tuesday 19 July
Wednesday 20 July
Thursday 21 July
Friday 22 July
The fake injury trick
Monday 25 July
Tuesday 26 July
Wednesday 27 July
Thursday 28 July
Friday 29 July
Saturday 30 July
Sunday 31 July
AUGUST
Monday 1 August. REASONS TO BE HAPPY
REASONS TO BE UNHAPPY
Wednesday 3 August
Thursday 4 August
Friday 5 August
Monday 8 August
Tuesday 9 August
Wednesday 10 August
Saturday 13 August
Monday 15 August
Tuesday 16 August
Wednesday 17 August
Thursday 18 August
Friday 19 August
Saturday 20 August
Monday 22 August
Wednesday 24 August
Sunday 28 August
Tuesday 30 August
Wednesday 31 August
SEPTEMBER
Thursday 1 September
THINGS I CAN’T DO NOW BUT COULD HAVE DONE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER
THINGS I CAN DO NOW BUT COULDN’T WHEN I WAS YOUNGER
Friday 2 September
Saturday 3 September
Monday 5 September
Tuesday 6 September
Wednesday 7 September
Thursday 8 September
Friday 9 September
Saturday 10 September
Monday 12 September
Tuesday 13 September
Wednesday 14 September
Thursday 15 September
Friday 16 September
Saturday 17 September
Monday 19 September
Tuesday 20 September
Wednesday 21 September
Thursday 22 September
Friday 23 September
Saturday 24 September
Monday 26 September
Tuesday 27 September
Thursday 29 September
Friday 30 September
OCTOBER
Saturday 1 October
Sunday 2 October
Wednesday 5 October
The art of the man-hug
Thursday 6 October
Friday 7 October
Sunday 9 October
Monday 10 October
Wednesday 12 October
How I ended up in a police cell in Brixton
Thursday 13 October
Friday 14 October
FOUR FACTS ABOUT SNEEZING I LEARNT WHEN TOO ILL TO WORK
Saturday 15 October
Monday 17 October
Wednesday 19 October
Thursday 20 October
Saturday 22 October
Tuesday 25 October
Wednesday 26 October
Friday 28 October
Saturday 29 October
Monday 31 October
NOVEMBER
Tuesday 1 November
Wednesday 2 November
Thursday 3 November
Friday 4 November
Saturday 5 November
WHY ISABEL IS BEING UNREASONABLE: A MATHEMATICAL ANALYSIS
Sunday 6 November
Monday 7 November
Tuesday 8 November
Wednesday 9 November
Thursday 10 November
Friday 11 November
Monday 14 November
Tuesday 15 November
Wednesday 16 November
Thursday 17 November
Friday 18 November
Saturday 19 November
Monday 21 November
Tuesday 22 November
Wednesday 23 November
Thursday 24 November
Friday 25 November
Saturday 26 November
Sunday 27 November
Monday 28 November
Tuesday 29 November
Wednesday 30 November
DECEMBER
Thursday 1 December
Friday 2 December
Sunday 4 December
Monday 5 December
THE ONLY TWO STRATEGIES FOR DUMPING GIRLFRIENDS, NEITHER OF WHICH IS PREFERABLE. By email/letter (not hand-delivered, too risky)
In person
Tuesday 6 December
Wednesday 7 December
Thursday 8 December
Friday 9 December
Saturday 10 December
Monday 12 December
Wednesday 14 December
Saturday 17 December
Sunday 18 December
Monday 19 December
Tuesday 20 December
Thursday 22 December
WHAT WOMEN WANT
WHAT WOMEN DON’T WANT
Saturday 24 December
Sunday 25 December
Rubbish Christmas, part one
Rubbish Christmas, part two
Rubbish Christmas, part three
Rubbish Christmas, part four
Monday 26 December
Wednesday 28 December
Saturday 31 December
JANUARY
Sunday 1 January
Monday 2 January
Tuesday 3 January
Wednesday 4 January
Thursday 5 January
Friday 6 January
Saturday 7 January
Monday 9 January
Tuesday 10 January
THREE EXAMPLES OF LOW-LEVEL BICKERING IN ONE DAY
Wednesday 11 January
Saturday 14 January
Tuesday 17 January
Thursday 19 January
Friday 20 January
Saturday 21 January
Sunday 22 January
Monday 23 January
Wednesday 25 January
Thursday 26 January
Saturday 28 January
Sunday 29 January
Monday 30 January
Tuesday 31 January
FEBRUARY
Wednesday 1 February
Thursday 2 February
Friday 3 February
Monday 6 February
Wednesday 8 February
Thursday 9 February
Saturday 11 February
UPDATED LIST OF THINGS I SWORE I’D NEVER DO BUT THEN DID ANYWAY
Tuesday 14 February
Wednesday 15 February
Thursday 16 February
Saturday 18 February
RULES OF THE DOGHOUSE
Sunday 19 February
Monday 20 February
Tuesday 21 February
Wednesday 22 February
Thursday 23 February
Saturday 25 February
Reason one
Reason two
Reason three
Sunday 26 February
Wednesday 29 February
MARCH
Thursday 1 March. REASONS TO BE UNHAPPY
REASONS TO BE HAPPY
Friday 2 March
Saturday 3 March
Sunday 4 March
Monday 5 March
Tuesday 6 March
Thursday 8 March
Friday 9 March
Saturday 10 March
Sunday 11 March
Monday 12 March
Tuesday 13 March
Wednesday 14 March
Thursday 15 March
Friday 16 March
Saturday 17 March
Sunday 18 March
Monday 19 March
Tuesday 20 March
Wednesday 21 March
Thursday 22 March
Friday 23 March
Saturday 24 March. OPERATION PYTHON. Stage one: secure suitable spy hardware
Tuesday 27 March
Wednesday 28 March. OPERATION PYTHON. Stage two: sneak up on target, interrogate
Thursday 29 March. OPERATION PYTHON. Revised stage two: text target, arrange. meeting, interrogate
Saturday 31 March
THREE ALL-TIME ARSEHOLES IN MY LIFE (UNTIL NOW)
APRIL
Monday 2 April
OPERATION PROBE
OPERATION PROBE
Wednesday 4 April
Friday 6 April
Saturday 7 April
Sunday 8 April
SEQUENCE OF EVENTS LEADING TO MY SECOND-EVER NIGHT IN A PRISON CELL
Monday 9 April
Wednesday 11 April
THINGS MEN DO THAT WOMEN DON’T KNOW ABOUT WHEN THEY’RE ON THEIR OWN IN A HOUSE (APART FROM THE OBVIOUS)
Thursday 12 April
Friday 13 April
Saturday 14 April
Sunday 15 April
Monday 16 April
Tuesday 17 April
Wednesday 18 April
Friday 20 April
Saturday 21 April
Sunday 22 April
Monday 23 April
Tuesday 24 April
Wednesday 25 April
Thursday 26 April
STUPID MAN DIES BEING STUPID IN MOUNTAINS
Friday 27 April
Saturday 28 April
Monday 30 April
Read On
Acknowledgements
Copyright
About the Publisher
