Читать книгу William Walker’s First Year of Marriage: A Horror Story - Matt Rudd - Страница 80

Isabel’s magical dissolving stitches aren’t dissolving. By the time I get home, Isabel is lying spread-eagled on the kitchen table, clutching a pair of sterilised eyebrow pluckers.

‘Darling, we must get them out now. They’re itching.’

‘But shouldn’t we go to hospital?’

‘No, Mummy said it was easy. It’s not worth the schlep back there.’

‘What about the GP?’

‘It can’t wait.’

‘Okay.’

‘Now call Mummy.’

‘Sorry?’

‘Call her. She’s going to instruct you.’

‘Your mother is going to instruct me to remove your stitches?…From your—’

‘Come on. I’m getting cold.’

Clutching the pluckers, I call her.

‘Right, William. Are the pluckers sterilised? Good. Are your hands washed? Good. Are Isabel’s legs open? William? William? No time to be squeamish now, William. None of us was born yesterday. Now, you see the labia majora?’

Oh God.