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to… david_crutton@millershanks-london.co.uk

cc…

re… Carla Browne

Thanks for holding me in the loop-the-loop on matters of staff discipline and morale that you are touching on in your e-mailing to Jim.

It is fascinating me that you, too, have troubles with work hands going off the straight and perpendicular. Perhaps it is our sunless winters or our proximity to the vodka distilleries of the former Soviet Union, but we in Finland are having a similar problem with many company members becoming ‘one picnic hamper short of a luncheon box’!

I have a tip for you. I am employing the revolutionary techniques pioneered by Dr Jari Nepstad at the Nordic Institute of Animal Husbandry. These are involving giving staff a daily tonic concocted of the extracts of lemming spleen and reindeer urine. As a result I am seeing insanity rates falling by 18%. I mail the recipe to you, though maybe you find lemming spleen in short supply at your otherwise excellent Asian corner shops.

Keep your pecker firm and erect – Pertti