Читать книгу A Cinderella Story - Maureen Child - Страница 16

Seven

Joy didn’t see Sam at all the next morning, and maybe that was just as well.

She’d lain awake most of the night, reliving the whole scene, though she could admit to herself she spent more time reliving the kiss and the feel of his amazingly talented fingers on her body than the argument that had prompted it. Even now, though, she cringed a little remembering how she’d thrown the truth of his past at him out of nowhere. Honestly, what had she been thinking, just blurting out the fact that she knew about his family? She hadn’t been thinking at all—that was the problem.

She’d stared into those amazing eyes of his and had seen him shuttered away, closing himself off, and it had just made her so angry, she’d confronted him without considering what it might do to the tenuous relationship they already had.

In Kaye’s two-bedroom suite off the kitchen, there had been quiet in Joy’s room and innocent dreams in Holly’s. The house seemed to sigh with a cold wind that whipped through the pines and rattled glass panes. And Joy hadn’t been able to shut off her brain. Or her body. But once she’d gotten past the buzz running rampant through her veins, all she’d been able to think about was the look in his eyes when she’d brought up his lost family.

Lying there in the dark, she’d assured herself that once she’d said the words, opened a door into his past, there’d been no going back. She could still see the shock in his eyes when she’d brought it up, and a twinge of guilt wrapped itself around her heart. But it was no match for the ribbon of anger that was there as well.

Not only had he walked away from his talent, but he’d shut himself off from life. From any kind of future or happiness. Why? His suffering wouldn’t bring them back. Wouldn’t restore the family he’d lost.

“Mommy, are you all done now?”

Joy came out of her thoughts and looked at her daughter, beside her at the kitchen table. Behind them, the outside world was gray and the pines bent nearly in half from that wind sweeping in off the lake. Still no snow and Joy was beginning to think they wouldn’t have a white Christmas after all.

But for now, in the golden lamplight, she looked at Holly, doing her alphabet and numbers on her electronic tablet. The little girl was squirming in her seat, clearly ready to be done with the whole sit-down-and-work thing.

“Not yet, baby,” Joy said, and knew that if her brain hadn’t been filled with images of Sam, she’d have been finished with the website update a half hour ago. But no, all she could think of was the firelight in his eyes. The taste of his mouth. The feel of his hard body pressed to hers. And the slick glide of his fingers.

Oh, boy.

“Almost, honey,” she said, clearing her throat and focusing again on the comments section of her client’s website. For some reason people who read books felt it was okay to go on the author’s website and list the many ways the author could have made the book better. Even when they loved it, they managed to sneak in a couple of jabs. It was part of Joy’s job to remove the comments that went above and beyond a review and deep into the realm of harsh criticism.

“Mommy,” Holly said, her heels kicking against the rungs of the kitchen chair, “when can we gooooooo?”

A one-syllable word now six syllables.

“As soon as I’m finished, sweetie,” Joy promised, focusing on her laptop screen rather than the never-ending loop of her time with Sam. Once the comment section was cleaned up, Joy posted her client’s holiday letter to her fans, then closed up the site and opened the next one.

Another holiday letter to post and a few pictures the author had taken at the latest writers’ conference she’d attended.

“How much longer, though?” Holly asked, just a touch of a wheedling whine in her voice. “If we don’t go soon all the Christmas trees will be gone.”

Drama, thy name is Holly, Joy thought with a smile. Reaching out, she gave one of the girl’s pigtails a tug. “Promise, there will be lots of trees when we get into town. But remember, we’re getting a little one this year, okay?” Because of the Grinch and his aversion to all things festive.

“I know! It’s like a fairy tree cuz it’s tiny and can go on a table to put in our room cuz Sam doesn’t like Christmas.” Her head tipped to one side. “How come he doesn’t, Mommy? Everybody likes presents.”

“I don’t know, baby.” She wasn’t about to try to explain Sam’s penchant for burying himself in a loveless, emotionless well. “You should ask him sometime.”

“I’ll ask him now!” She scrambled off her chair and Joy thought about calling her back as she raced to get her jacket. But why should she? Joy had already seen Sam with Holly. He was kind. Patient. And she knew darn well that even if the man was furious with her, he wouldn’t take it out on Holly.

And maybe it would be good for him to be faced with all that cheerful optimism. All that innocence shining around her girl.

In seconds, Holly was back, dancing in place on the toes of her pink princess sneakers. Joy zipped up the jacket, pulled up Holly’s hood and tied it at the neck. Then she took a moment to just look at the little girl who was really the light of her life. Love welled up inside her, thick and rich, and she heard Sam’s voice in her mind again.

Did he take Holly away from you, so that you knew you’d never see her again?

That thought had Joy grabbing her daughter and pulling her in close for a tight hug that had Holly wriggling for freedom. He was right, she couldn’t really know what he’d survived. She didn’t even want to imagine it.

“You’re squishing me, Mommy!”

“Sorry, baby.” She swallowed the knot in her throat and gave her girl a smile. “You go ahead and play with Sam. I’ll come get you when it’s time to go. As soon as I finish doing the updates on this website. Promise.”

“Okay!” Holly turned to go and stopped when Joy spoke up again.

“No wandering off, Holly. Right to the workshop.”

“Can’t I look at my fairy house Sam helped me make? There might be fairies there now.”

Boy, she was really going to miss this imaginative age when Holly grew out of it. But, though the fairy house wasn’t exactly inside the woods, it was close enough that a little girl might be tempted to walk in more deeply and then end up getting lost. So, no. “We’ll look later.”

“Okay, ’bye!” And she was gone like a tiny pink hurricane.

Joy glanced out the window and watched her daughter bullet across the lawn to the workshop and then slip inside the doors. Smiling to herself, she thought she’d give a lot to see Sam’s reaction to his visitor.

* * *

“Hi, Sam! Mommy said I could come play with you!”

She didn’t catch him completely by surprise. Thankfully, Sam had spotted the girl running across the yard and had had time to toss a heavy beige tarp over his latest project. Although why he’d started on it was beyond him. A whim that had come on him two days ago, he’d thrown himself into it late last night when he’d left Joy in the great room.

Guilt had pushed him away from her, and it was guilt that had kept him working half the night. Memories crowded his brain, but it was thoughts of Joy herself that kept him on edge. That kiss. The heavy sigh of her breath as she molded herself to him. The eager response and matching need that had thrown him harder than he’d expected.

Shaking his head, he grumbled, “Don’t have time to play.” He turned to his workbench to find something to do.

“I can help you like I did with the fairy house. I want to see if there are fairies there but Mommy said I couldn’t go by myself. Do you want to go with me? Cuz we can be busy outside, too, can’t we?” She walked farther into the room and, as if she had radar, moved straight to the tarp draped across his project. “What’s this?”

“Mine,” he said and winced at the sharpness of his tone. But the girl, just like her mother, was impossible to deflate. She simply turned that bright smile of hers on him and said, “It’s a secret, right? I like secrets. I can tell you one. It’s about Lizzie’s mommy going to have another baby. She thinks Lizzie doesn’t know but Lizzie heard her mommy tell her daddy that she passed the test.”

Too much information coming too quickly. He’d already learned about the wonderful Lizzie and her puppy. And this latest news blast might come under the heading of TMI.

“I wanted a sister, too,” Holly said and walked right up to his workbench, climbing onto the stool she’d used the last time she was there. “But Mommy says I have to have a puppy instead and that’s all right cuz babies cry a lot and a puppy doesn’t...”

“Why don’t we go check the fairy house?” Sam said, interrupting the flow before his head exploded. Getting her out of the shop seemed the best way to keep her from asking about the tarp again. It wasn’t as if he wanted to go look for fairies in the freezing-cold woods.

“Oh, boy!” She squirmed off the stool, then grabbed his hand with her much smaller one.

Just for a second, Sam felt a sharp tug at the edges of his heart, and it was painful. Holly was older than Eli had been, he told himself, and she was a girl—so completely different children. But he couldn’t help wondering what Eli would have been like at Holly’s age. Or as he would be now at almost nine. But Eli would always be three years old. Just finding himself. Just becoming more of a boy than a baby and never a chance to be more.

“Let’s go, Sam!” Holly pulled on his hand and leaned forward as if she could drag him behind her if she just tried hard enough.

He folded his fingers around hers and let her lead him from the shop into the cold. And he listened to her talk, heard again about puppies and fairies and princesses, and told himself that maybe this was his punishment. Being lulled into affection for a child who wasn’t his. A child who would disappear from his life in a few short weeks.

And he wasn’t completely stupid, he told himself. He could see through Joy’s machinations. She wanted to wake him up, she’d said. To drag him back into the land of the living, and clearly, she was allowing her daughter to be part of that program.

“There it is!” Holly’s excitement ratcheted up another level, and Sam thought the girl’s voice hit a pitch that only dogs should have been able to hear. But her absolute pleasure in the smallest things was hard to ignore, damn it.

She let go of his hand and ran the last few steps to the fairy house on her own. Bending down, she inspected every window and even opened the tiny door to look inside. And Sam was drawn to the girl’s absolute faith that she would see something. Even disappointment didn’t jar the thrill in her eyes. “I don’t see them,” she said, turning her head to look at him.

“Maybe they’re out having a picnic,” he said, surprising himself by playing into the game. “Or shopping.”

“Like Mommy and me are gonna do,” Holly said, jumping up and down as if she simply couldn’t hold back the excitement any more. “We’re gonna get a Christmas tree today.”

He felt a hitch in the center of his chest, but he didn’t say anything.

“We’re getting a little one this time to put in our room cuz you don’t like Christmas. How come you don’t like Christmas, Sam?”

“I...it’s complicated.” He hunched deeper into his black leather jacket and stuffed both hands into the pockets.

“Compulcated?”

“Complicated,” he corrected, wondering how the hell he’d gotten into this conversation with a five-year-old.

“Why?”

“Because it’s about a lot of things all at once,” he said, hoping to God she’d leave it there. He should have known better.

Her tiny brow furrowed as she thought about it. Finally, though, she shrugged and said, “Okay. Do you think fairies go buy Christmas trees? Will there be lights in their little house? Can I see ’em?”

So grateful to have left the Christmas thing behind, he said, “Maybe if you look really hard one night you’ll see some.”

“I can look really hard, see?” Her eyes squinted and her mouth puckered up, showing him just how strong her looking power was.

“That’s pretty hard.” The wind gave a great gust and about knocked Holly right off her feet. He reached out, steadied her, then said, “You should go on back to the house with your mom.”

“But we’re not done looking.” She grabbed his hand again, and this time, it was more comforting than unsettling. Pulling on him, she wandered over to one side of the fairy house, where the pine needles lay thick as carpet on the ground. “Could we make another fairy house and put it right here, by this big tree? That’s like a Christmas tree, right? Maybe the fairies would put lights on it, too.”

He was scrambling now. He’d never meant to get so involved. Not with the child. Not with her mother. But Holly’s sweetness and Joy’s...everything...kept sucking him in. Now he was making fairy houses and secret projects and freezing his ass off looking for invisible creatures.

“Sure,” he said, in an attempt to get the girl moving toward the house. “We can build another one. In a day or two. Maybe.”

“Okay, tomorrow we can do it and put it by the tree and the fairies will have a Christmas house to be all nice and warm. Can we put blankets and stuff in there, too?”

Tomorrow. Just like her mother, Holly heard only what she wanted to hear and completely disregarded everything else. He glanced at the house and somehow wasn’t surprised to see Joy in the kitchen window, watching them. Across the yard, their gazes met and heat lit up the line of tension linking them.

All he could think of was the taste of her. The feel of her. The gnawing realization that he was going to have her. There was no mistaking the pulse-pounding sensations linking them. No pretending that it wasn’t there. Guilt still chewing at him, he knew that even that wouldn’t be enough to keep him from her.

And when she lifted one hand and laid it palm flat on the window glass, it was as if she was touching him. Feeling what he was feeling and acknowledging that she, too, knew the inevitable was headed right at them.

* * *

The trunk was filled with grocery bags, the backseat held a Charlie Brown Christmas tree on one side and Holly on the other, and now, Joy was at her house for the boxes of decorations they would need.

“Our house is tiny, huh, Mommy?”

After Sam’s house, anything would look tiny, but in this case especially. “Sure is, baby,” she said, “but it’s ours.”

She noted Buddy Hall’s shop van in the driveway and hurriedly got Holly out of the car and hustling toward the house. Funny, she’d never really noticed before that they didn’t have many trees on their street, Joy thought. But spending the last week or so at Sam’s house—surrounded by the woods and a view of the lake—she couldn’t help thinking that her street looked a little bare. But it wasn’t Sam’s house that intrigued her. It was the man himself. Instantly, she thought of the look he’d given her just that morning. Even from across the wide yard, she’d felt the power of that stare, and her blood had buzzed in reaction. Even now, her stomach jumped with nerves and expectation. She and Sam weren’t finished. Not by a long shot. There was more coming. She just wasn’t sure what or when. But she couldn’t wait.

“Stay with me, sweetie,” Joy said as they walked into the house together.

“Okay. Can I have a baby sister?”

Joy stopped dead on the threshold and looked down at her. “What? Where did that come from?”

“Lizzie’s getting a new sister. It’s a secret but she is and I want one, too.”

Deb was pregnant? Why hadn’t she told? And how the heck did Holly know before Joy did? Shaking her head, she told herself they were all excellent questions that would have to be answered later. For now, she wanted to check on the progress of the house repairs.

“Buddy?” she called out.

“Back here.” The deep voice came from the kitchen, so Joy kept a grip on Holly and headed that way.

Along the way, her mind kept up a constant comparison between her own tiny rental and the splendor of Sam’s place. The hallway alone was a fraction of the length of his. The living room was so small that if four people were in there at the same time, they’d be in sin. The kitchen, she thought sadly, walking into the room, looked about as big as the island in Sam’s kitchen. Its sad cabinets needed paint and really just needed to be torn down and replaced, but since she was just a renter, it wasn’t up to her. And the house might be small and a little on the shabby side, but it was her home. The one she’d made for her and Holly, so there was affection along with the exasperation.

“How’s it going, Buddy?” she asked.

“Not bad.” He stood up, all five feet four inches of him, with his barrel chest and broader stomach. A gray fringe of hair haloed his head, and his bright blue eyes sparkled with good humor. “Just sent Buddy Junior down to the hardware store. Thought while I was here we could fix the hinges on some of these cabinets. Some of ’em hang so crooked they’re making me dizzy.”

Delighted, Joy said, “Thank you, Buddy. That’s going the extra mile.”

“Not a problem.” He pushed up the sleeves of his flannel shirt, took a step back and looked at the gaping hole where a light switch used to be. “Got the wiring all replaced and brought up to code out in the living room, but I’m checking the rest, as well. You’ve got some fraying in here and a hot wire somebody left uncapped in the smaller bedroom—”

Holly’s bedroom, Joy thought and felt a pang of worry. God, if the fire had started in her daughter’s room in the middle of the night, maybe they wouldn’t have noticed in time. Maybe smoke inhalation would have knocked them out and kept them out until—

“No worries,” Buddy said, looking right at her. “No point in thinking about what-ifs, either,” he added as if he could look at her and read her thoughts. And he probably could. “By the time this job’s done I guarantee all the wiring. You and the little one there will be safe as houses.”

“What’s a safe house?” Holly asked.

Buddy winked at her. “This one, soon’s I’m done.”

“Thank you, Buddy. I really appreciate it.” But maybe, Joy told herself, it was time to find a new house for her and her daughter. Something newer. Safer. Still, that was a thought for later on, so she put it aside for now.

“I know you do and we’re getting it done as fast as we can.” He gave his own work a long look. “The way it’s looking, you could be back home before Christmas.”

Back home. Away from Sam. Away from what she was beginning to feel for him. Probably best, she told herself, though right at the moment, she didn’t quite believe it. As irritating as the man could be, he was so much more. And that more was drawing her in.

“Appreciate that, too,” Joy said. “We’re just here to pick up some Christmas decorations, then we’ll get out of your hair.”

He grinned and scrubbed one hand across the top of his bald head. “You’d have quite the time getting in my hair. You two doing all right up the mountain?”

“Yes.” Everyone in town was curious about Sam, she thought. Didn’t he see that if he spent more time talking to people they’d be less inclined to talk about him and wonder? “It’s been great. Sam helped Holly build a fairy house.”

“Is that right?”

“It’s pretty and in the woods and I’m going to bring some of my dolls to put in it to keep the fairies company and Sam’s gonna help me make another one, too. He’s really nice. Just crabby sometimes.”

“Out of the mouths of babes,” Joy murmured with a smile. “Well, we’ve got to run. Trees to decorate, cookies to bake.”

“You go ahead then,” Buddy said, already turning back to his task. Then over his shoulder he called out, “You be sure to tell Sam Henry my wife, Cora, loves that rocking chair he made. She bought it at Crafty and now I can’t hardly get her out of it.”

Joy smiled. “I’ll tell him.”

Then with Holly rummaging through her toys, Joy bundled up everything Christmas. A few minutes later, they were back in the car, and she was thinking about the crabby man who made her want things she shouldn’t.

* * *

Of course, she had to stop by Deb’s first, because hello, news. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re pregnant?”

Deb’s eyes went wide and when her jaw dropped she popped a mini apple pie into it. “How did you know?”

“Lizzie told Holly, Holly told me.”

“Lizzie—” Deb sighed and shook her head. “You think your kids don’t notice what’s going on. Boy, I’m going to have to get better at the secret thing.”

“Why a secret?” Joy picked up a tiny brownie and told herself the calories didn’t count since it was so small. Drawing it out into two bites, she waited.

“You know we lost one a couple of years ago,” Deb said, keeping her voice low as there were customers in the main room, separated from them only by the swinging door between the kitchen and the store’s front.

“Yeah.” Joy reached out and gave her friend a sympathetic pat on the arm.

“Well, this time we didn’t want to tell anyone until we’re at least three months. You know?” She sighed again and gave a rueful smile. “But now that Lizzie’s spreading the word...”

“Bag open, cat out,” Joy said, grinning. “This is fabulous. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks. Me, too.”

“Of course, now Holly wants a baby, too.”

Deb gave her a sly look. “You could do something about that, you know.”

“Right. Because I’m such a great single mom I should do it again.”

“You are and it wouldn’t kill you,” Deb told her, “but I was thinking more along the lines of gorgeous hermit slash painter slash craftsman.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” Of course, she immediately thought of that kiss and the tension that had been coiled in her middle all day. Briefly, her brain skipped to hazy images of her and Sam and Holly living in that big beautiful house together. With a couple more babies running around and a life filled with hot kisses, warm laughter and lots of love.

But fantasies weren’t real life, and she’d learned long ago to concentrate on what was real. Otherwise, building dreams on boggy ground could crush your heart. Yes, she cared about Sam. But he’d made it clear he wasn’t interested beyond stoking whatever blaze was burning between them. And yet, she thought, brain still racing, he was so good with Holly. And Joy’s little girl was blossoming, having a man like Sam pay attention to her. Spend time with her.

Okay, her mind warned sternly, dial it back now, Joy. No point in setting yourself up for that crush.

“You say no, but your eyes are saying yum.” Deb filled a tray with apple pies no bigger than silver dollars, laying them all out on paper doilies that made them look like loosely wrapped presents.

“Yum is easy—it’s what comes after that’s hard.”

“Since when are you afraid of hard work?”

“I’m not, but—” Not the same thing, she told herself, as working to make a living, to build a life. This was bringing a man out of the shadows, and what if once he was out he didn’t want her anyway? No, that way lay pain and misery, and why should she set herself up for that?

“You’re alone, he’s alone, match made in heaven.”

“Alone isn’t a good enough reason for anyone, Deb.” She stopped, snatched another brownie and asked, “When did this get to be about me instead of you?”

“Since I hate seeing my best friend—a completely wonderful human being—all by herself.”

“I’m not alone. I have Holly.”

“And I love her, too, but it’s not the same and you know it.”

Slumping, Joy leaned one hip against the counter and nibbled at her second brownie. “No, it’s not. And okay, fine—I’m...intrigued by Sam.”

“Intrigued is good. Sex is better.”

Sadly, she admitted, “I wouldn’t know.”

“Yeah, that would be my point.”

“It’s not that easy,” Joy said wistfully. Then she glanced out the window at the house across the yard where Holly and Lizzie were probably driving Sean Casey insane about now. “I mean, he’s—and I’m—”

“Something happened.”

Her gaze snapped to Deb’s. “Just a kiss.”

“Yay. And?”

“And,” Joy admitted, “then he got a little more involved and completely melted my underwear.”

“Wow.” Deb gave a sigh and fluttered one hand over her heart.

“Yeah. We were arguing and we were both furious and he kissed me and—” she slapped her hands together “—boom.”

“Oh, boom is good.”

“It’s great, but it doesn’t solve anything.”

“Honey,” Deb asked with a shake of her head, “who cares?”

Joy laughed. Honestly, Deb was really good for her. “Okay, I’m heading back to the house. Even when it’s this cold outside, I shouldn’t be leaving the groceries in the car this long.”

“Fine, but I’m going to want to hear more about this ‘boom.’”

“Yeah,” Joy said, “me, too. So are the girls still on for the sleepover?”

“Are you kidding? Lizzie’s been planning this for days. Popcorn, princess movies and s’mores cooked over the fireplace.”

Ordinarily, Holly would be too young for a sleepover, but Joy knew Deb was as crazy protective as she was. “Okay, then I’ll bring her to your house Saturday afternoon.”

“Don’t forget to pray for me,” Deb said with a smile. “Two five-year-olds for a night filled with squeals...”

“You bet.”

“And take that box of brownies with you. Sweeten up your hermit and maybe there’ll be more ‘boom.’”

“I don’t know about that, but I will definitely take the brownies.” When she left the warm kitchen, she paused on the back porch and tipped her face up to the gray sky. As she stood there, snow drifted lazily down and kissed her heated cheeks with ice.

Maybe it would be enough to cool her off, she told herself, crossing the yard to Deb’s house to collect Holly and head home. But even as she thought it, Joy realized that nothing was going to cool her off as long as her mind was filled with thoughts of Sam.