Читать книгу His By Any Means - Maureen Child - Страница 10

Three

The Big Blue ranch seemed empty without the larger-than-life presence of J.D. Lassiter. Colleen glanced out the window of the bedroom that had been hers for the past several weeks and smiled sadly. She was going to miss this place almost as much as she would miss J.D. himself.

But it was always like this for her, she thought sadly. As a private nurse, she slipped into the fabric of families—sometimes at their darkest hours. And when her job was done, she left, moving on to the next client. The next family.

She tugged on the zipper of her suitcase, flipped the lid open and then sighed. Colleen hated this part of her assignments. The packing up of all her things, the saying goodbye to another chapter in her life. Positioning these memories onto a high shelf at the back of her mind, where they could be looked at later but would be out of the way, making room for the next patient.

Only this time...maybe there wouldn’t be another family.

She shook her head and realized that the silence of the big house was pressing down on her. The only other people at Big Blue right now were the housekeeper and the cook, and it was as if the big house was...lonely. It wouldn’t be for long, though. Soon, Marlene, Angelica and Chance would be returning, and she wanted to be gone before they got home. They didn’t need her here anymore. By rights, she should have left two weeks ago after J.D.’s death, but she’d stayed on at Marlene’s request, to help them all through this hard time.

Colleen walked to the closet and gathered an armful of clothes, carrying them back to the bed. On autopilot, she folded and then stacked her clothing neatly in the suitcase and then went back for more. It wouldn’t take long to empty the closet and the dresser she had been using. She’d only brought a few things with her when she moved into the guest room.

Normally, she didn’t live in when she took a private client. But J.D. had wanted her close by and had been willing to pay for the extra care, to spare his family having to meet all of his needs. In the past couple of months, Colleen had grown to love this place. The ranch house was big, elegant and yet still so cozy that it wasn’t hard to remember that it was, at its heart, a family home.

At that thought, Sage crept back into her mind. He, his brother and sister had all grown up here on this ranch, and if she listened hard enough, she was willing to bet she would be able to hear the long-silent echoes of children playing.

And strange, wasn’t it, how her mind continually drifted back to thoughts of Sage? To be honest, he had been on her mind since the rehearsal dinner. He starred nightly in her dreams and even his coldly furious outburst that morning hadn’t changed anything. In fact, it had only made her like him more. That outburst had shown her just how much he had cared for his father, despite their estrangement. And the sympathy she felt for the loss he’d suffered was enough to color his accusations in a softer light.

Her brief conversation with Sage Lassiter had left Colleen more shaken than the news that she was now a millionaire. Maybe because the thought of so much money was so foreign to her that her brain simply couldn’t process it. But having the man of her dreams actually speak to her was so startling, she couldn’t seem to think of anything but him. Even though he’d insulted her.

“Not his fault,” she assured herself again as she folded her clothes and stuffed them into the suitcase. “Of course he’d be suspicious. He doesn’t know me. He just lost his father. Why should he trust me?”

All very logical.

And yet the sting of his words still resonated with her. Because she couldn’t get past the thought that everyone else would believe what he’d blurted out. That somehow she had tricked a sick old man into leaving her money. Maybe she should turn it down. Go back to the lawyer, tell him to donate the money to charity or something.

Releasing a breath, she stopped packing and lifted her gaze to the window of the room that had been home for the past three months. The view outside was mesmerizing, as always.

There were no curtains on the windows at Big Blue. In the many talks Colleen and J.D. had had, she’d learned that was a decree from J.D.’s late wife, Ellie. She’d wanted nothing to stand between her and the amazing sweep of sky. There were trees, too—all kinds of trees. Pines, oaks, maples, aspen. There was a silence in the forest that was almost breathtaking. She loved being here in the mountains and wasn’t looking forward to going back to her small condo in a suburb of Cheyenne.

But, a tantalizing voice in her mind whispered, with your inheritance, you could buy a small place somewhere out here. Away from crowds. Where you could have a garden and trees of your own and even a dog. A dog. She’d wanted one for years. But she hadn’t gotten one because first, her father had been sick, and then when she and her mother moved to Cheyenne, they’d lived in apartments or condos. It hadn’t seemed fair to her to leave an animal cooped up all day while she and her mom were at work.

Now, though...her mind tempted her with the possibilities that had opened up to her because of J.D. She could quit her job, focus on getting her nurse practitioner’s license and start living the dream that had been fueling her for years. More than that, she could help her mom, make her life easier for a change. That thought simmered in her mind, conjuring up images that made her smile in spite of everything.

The winters in Cheyenne were beginning to get to Colleen’s mother. Laura Falkner was always talking about moving to Florida to live with her widowed sister and maybe the two of them taking cruises together. Seeing the world before she was too old to enjoy it all.

With this inheritance, Colleen could make not only her own dreams come true, but her mother’s, as well. Her hands fisted on the blue cotton T-shirt she held. Should she take the money as the gift it had been meant to be? Or should she reject it because she was afraid what small-minded people might say?

“Wouldn’t that be like a slap in the face to J.D.?” she asked aloud, not really expecting an answer.

“Lots of people wanted to slap J.D. over the years.”

She whirled around to face Sage, who stood in the open doorway, one shoulder braced against the doorjamb. He leaned there casually, looking taller and stronger and somehow more intimidating than he had in the parking lot. And that was saying something. His cool blue gaze was locked on hers and Colleen felt the slam of that stare from all the way across the room.

Her heartbeat jumped into a gallop, her mind went blessedly blank for a second or two and her mouth dried up completely. There was a buzzing sensation going on inside her, too, and it was tingling long-comatose parts of her body back into life. What was it about this man that could turn her into such a hormonal wreck just by showing up?

“What? I mean,” she muttered, irritated that once again she felt tongue-tied around him. She’d always thought of herself as a simple, forthright kind of woman. Before now, she had never had trouble talking to anyone. But all Sage had to do was show up and her mouth was so busy thinking of doing other more interesting things that it couldn’t seem to talk. “I didn’t know you were there.”

“Yeah,” he said, pushing away from the wall and strolling confidently into the room. “You seemed a little...distracted.” He glanced around the sumptuous room, taking in the pale blue quilt, the dozen or more pillows stacked against a gleaming brass headboard and the brightly colored throw rugs covering the polished wood floor. “This place has changed some.”

“It’s a lovely room,” she said, again feeling a pang about leaving.

He glanced at her and shrugged. “When I was a kid, this was my room.”

His room. Oh, my. A rush of heat swept through her system so completely, she felt as if she’d gotten a sudden fever. She’d been living in Sage’s room for the past few months. If she’d known that before, she might not have been able to sleep at all.

She smiled hesitantly. “I’m guessing it looks a lot different to you, then.”

“It does.” He walked to the window, looked out, and then turned back to her with a quick grin. “The trellis is still there, though. You ever climb down it in the middle of the night?”

“No, but you did?”

“As often as possible,” he admitted. “Especially when I was a teenager. J.D. and I...” His voice trailed off. Then he cleared his throat and said, “Sometimes I just needed to get out of the house for a while.”

Colleen tried to imagine Sage as an unhappy boy, escaping out a window to claim some independence. But with the image of the strong, dynamic man he was now, standing right in front of her, it wasn’t easy.

“So,” he said abruptly, “what do you want to slap J.D. for?”

The sudden shift in conversation threw her for a second until she remembered that he’d been listening when she was talking to herself.

“I don’t. I mean...” She blew out a breath and said, “It’s nothing.”

“Didn’t sound like nothing to me,” he mused, turning his back on the window and the view beyond to look at her again.

Backlit against the window, he looked more broad shouldered, more powerful...just, more. The bedroom suddenly seemed way smaller than it had just a few minutes ago, too. Sage Lassiter was the kind of man who overtook a room once he was in it, making everyone and everything somehow diminished just with his presence. A little intimidating. And if she was going to be honest with herself, a lot exciting.

Which wasn’t helping her breathing any. “I was thinking out loud, that’s all.”

“About?”

She met his gaze. “If you must know, about whether or not I should accept the money J.D. left me.”

Surprise shone briefly in his eyes. “And the decision is?”

“I haven’t made one yet,” she admitted, dropping the T-shirt onto her half-packed suitcase. “To be honest, I don’t know what I should do.”

“Most people would just take the three million and run.”

Colleen shrugged helplessly. “I’m not most people.”

“I’m beginning to get that,” he said, stuffing both hands into his jeans pockets as he walked toward her. “Look, I came on a little strong earlier—”

“Really?” She smiled and shook her head. She remembered everything he’d said that morning. Every word. Every tone. Every glittering accusation he’d shot at her from his eyes. She also remembered that electrical jolt she’d gotten when she touched him.

He nodded. “You’re right. And I was wrong. J.D. wanted you to have the money. You should take it.”

“Just like that?” She studied him, hoping to see some tangible sign of why he’d changed his mind, but she couldn’t read a darn thing on his face. The man was inscrutable. As a businessman, the ability to blank out all expression had probably helped him amass his fortune. But in a one-on-one situation, it was extremely annoying.

“Why not?” He moved even closer and Colleen could have sworn she felt actual heat radiating from his body to enclose her in a cocoon of warmth. Warmth that spread to every corner of her body. She swallowed hard, lifted her chin and met his eyes when he continued. “Colleen, if you’re thinking about turning down your inheritance because of what I said, then don’t.”

A cold breeze slipped beneath the partially open window and dissipated the warmth stealing through her. That was probably a good thing. “I admit, what you said has a lot to do with my decision. But mostly, I’m worried that other people might think the same thing.”

He pulled one hand from his pocket and slapped it down on the brass foot rail. “And that would bother you?”

Stunned, she said, “Of course it would bother me. It’s not true.”

“Then what do you care what anyone else thinks?”

Did he really not see what it would be like? Were the rich really so different from everyone else? “You probably don’t understand because you’re used to people talking about you. I mean, the Lassiters are always in the papers for something or other.”

“True,” he acknowledged.

“And as for you, the press loves following you around. They’re always printing stories about the black sheep billionaire.” She stopped abruptly when she caught his sudden frown. “I’m sorry, it’s just—”

“You seem to keep up with reports about me,” he said softly.

“It’s hard not to,” she lied, not wanting him to know that she really did look for stories about him in the paper and magazines—not to mention online. God, she was practically a stalker! “The Lassiter family is big news in Cheyenne.” She covered for herself nicely. “The local papers are always reporting about you and your family.”

He snorted. “Yeah, and I’m guessing the will is going to be front-page news as soon as someone leaks the details.”

Surprised, she asked, “Who would do that?”

“Any number of clerks in the law offices, I should think,” he said. “The right amount of money and people will do or say anything.”

“Wow...that’s cynical.”

“Just a dose of reality,” he said, his hand tightening around the brass rail until his knuckles whitened. “I used to think most people were loyal, with a sense of integrity. Then I found out differently.”

“What happened?” she asked, caught up in the glimmer of old pain and distant memories glittering in his eyes. The house was quiet, sunlight drifting in through the bedroom window, and it felt as though they were the only two people on the planet. Maybe that’s why she overstepped. Maybe that’s why she allowed herself to wonder about him aloud rather than just in her mind.

He almost looked as though he would tell her, then in an instant, the moment was gone. His features were once again schooled in pokerlike stillness and his eyes were shuttered. “Doesn’t matter. The point is, you shouldn’t let gossips rule your decisions.”

Colleen was sorry their all-too-brief closeness was gone, but it was just as well. “It sounds so simple when you say it like that, but I don’t like being gossiped about.”

“Neither do I,” he said, glancing down at her suitcase, then lifting his gaze to hers again. “Doesn’t mean I can stop it.”

He was right and she knew it. Still, he was a Lassiter and rumors and prying questions came with the territory. She was a nobody and she preferred it that way. “Maybe if I don’t accept the inheritance, they won’t bother because there would be nothing to talk about.”

He smiled, but it wasn’t a comforting expression. “Colleen, people are going to gossip. Whether you take the money or not, people will talk. Besides, trust me, a beautiful woman like you taking care of J.D. all these months...there’s gossip already.”

Beautiful? He thought she was beautiful? Then what he said struck home. A flush of embarrassment washed over her as she realized he was probably right. There was no doubt talk already, and with her living here at the ranch, she had fed the flames of the gossip.

“That’s just awful. I was his nurse.”

“A young, pretty nurse with a sick old man. Doesn’t take much more than that to get tongues wagging.”

She argued that because she had to. For her own peace of mind. Colleen hated to think that people were making ugly accusations about a sweet old man. And oh, God, had her mother heard the talk? No. If she had, she would have said something, wouldn’t she?

Shaking her head, Colleen said, “But J.D. wasn’t my first patient. This has never happened to me before.”

He shrugged the argument aside. “You’d never worked for a Lassiter before, either. I’m only surprised you haven’t already heard the speculation.”

She plopped down onto the edge of her mattress, her mind racing as images from the past few months flashed across her brain. She hadn’t really paid attention before, but now that she was looking at things in a new light, she realized he was right. The gossip had already started. She remembered knowing winks, slow smiles and whispered conversations cut short when she entered any of the local shops.

“Oh, my God. They really think that I—that J.D.—oh, this is humiliating.”

“Only if you let them win,” he said quietly and she looked up at him, waiting for him to continue. “Small minds are always looking for something to occupy them. If you live your life worried about what they’re saying, you won’t do anything. Then they win.”

“I really hate this,” she murmured. He did have a point, but this was the first time in her life that she was the subject of gossip. She’d led a fairly quiet existence until she’d taken the job with J.D.

Sage was looking at this from an entirely different angle. The truth was, as a Lassiter, he was insulated from the nastiest rumors and innuendos. He didn’t have to worry about what people were saying about him, because his career was already made, and he had a powerful family name behind him. Besides, how bad was it to have people discussing how incredibly gorgeous you were?

No, this was different. If people were talking about her, it could affect her work. Her life. If the nursing agency she worked for got wind of any of this, they might be reluctant to send her out on other assignments—and that made her cringe. On the other hand, if she simply accepted J.D.’s generosity, she could make her own way. Though she would still, as a nurse practitioner, have to work through local doctors and hospitals.

“My head hurts,” she muttered.

He laughed and it was such a rich, surprising sound, it startled her. Looking up at him, she saw that his eyes were shining and the wide smile on his face displayed a dimple she was fairly certain didn’t show up very often.

“You’re thinking about this too much.”

“It’s very hard not to,” she told him, shaking her head. “I’ve never been in this position before and I’m not really sure what to do about it.”

“Do what you want to do,” he advised.

Want was a big word. She wanted a lot of things. World peace. Calorie-free chocolate. Smaller feet. Her gaze drifted to Sage’s mouth and locked there. And she really wanted to kiss him.

As that thought settled into the forefront of her mind, Colleen cleared her throat and tried for heaven’s sake to get a grip. Honestly, she’d been alone so long, was it really so surprising that a man like Sage Lassiter would tangle her up into knots without even trying?

“Everything okay?” He was frowning now.

“Fine. Fine.” She breathed deeply and repeated, “What I want. Do what I want.”

“Not so hard, is it?”

“You wouldn’t think so...” But she’d been raised to consider more than her wants. There was doing the right thing, and in this case, she just didn’t know what that was.

“You know,” he murmured, “once you show people you don’t care what they think, they usually stop talking about you.”

Wryly, she asked, “And if you do care what they’re saying?”

His lips quirked into a quick half smile that tugged at something inside her. “Well, that’s a different story, isn’t it? But why would you care?”

“Because I have to work here. Live here. If people think—” She swallowed hard. Everything she’d worked toward, everything she’d built in the past five years. Her reputation...her hopes and dreams. It could all disappear.

Suddenly, the windfall from J.D. looked like more of a curse than a blessing.

“You’re giving other people all the power here,” Sage said, drawing her attention away from her thoughts.

“I don’t want to, but...” Shaking her head, she folded her hands together on her lap. “Ever since this morning, my mind’s been filled with questions. And now I don’t know what to do about this.”

“Not much you can do about it.” Sage walked around her, pushed the open suitcase out of his way and took a seat beside her on the bed. “The will’s a done deal.”

“But I could donate the money.”

He shrugged. “People would still talk. The only difference would be you wouldn’t have the money.”

She sighed heavily and turned to look at him. He was so close to her, his muscular thigh was just a bare inch from brushing against hers. Heat rushed through her and Colleen forced a deep breath as she met his gaze. His eyes weren’t as frosty as they had been earlier, yet they were still unreadable. As if he’d drawn shutters down, to keep others from sensing his emotions. He was so closed off—much like J.D. had been when she’d first come to take care of him. But, she reminded herself, it hadn’t taken her long to bypass the older man’s defenses and get him to really talk to her.

The difference was, Sage wasn’t her patient. He was a strong, completely masculine male who made her feel things she hadn’t felt in far too long. Which was, of course, not only ridiculous, but inappropriate. He was the son of her patient. A family member who’d just gone through a devastating loss. He wasn’t interested in her and she would only do herself a favor if she found a way to tamp down the rush of attraction she felt every time he came close. Of course, way easier said than done.

“Look,” he said, his voice quiet, “why don’t we have dinner tonight? Give us a chance to talk some more.”

She blinked at him, so stunned she could hardly manage to croak, “You’re asking me out?”

One corner of his mouth lifted. “I’m asking you to have dinner with me.”

Not a date. Of course it wasn’t a date. Idiot.

“Why?” And why are you questioning it, her mind demanded.

“Well, I still want to talk to you about J.D.,” he said. “And it’s been a long day. For both of us.”

Of course. That explained it, Colleen told herself firmly. He wanted to talk about his father and all she’d managed to do was talk his ear off about her problems.

“Okay,” she said after a long moment. “That would be nice.”

“Great.” He stood up and looked down at her. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

“I’ll give you my address.”

“I know where you live,” he told her. “I’ll see you tonight.”

He knew where she lived. What was she supposed to make of that?

“Can I carry your suitcase down to the car?”

“What? Oh. No, thank you.” She glanced around the room. “I’ve still got a few things to pack up.”

“All right then, I’ll leave you to it,” he said, heading for the doorway. When he got there, he paused, turned around and speared her with an unfathomable look. “See you tonight.”

When he left, Colleen stared after him for a long minute. Her heartbeat was racing and her knees felt a little wobbly. Her reaction to Sage was so staggering, she wasn’t really sure how to deal with it. However, as the sound of his footsteps faded away, Colleen told herself that she couldn’t really be blamed for her response to his presence. He was like a force of nature. Sage Lassiter was a gorgeous steamroller, flattening everything in his path.

And Colleen realized that now, for whatever reason, she was in his path.