Читать книгу Desiring the Reilly Brothers - Maureen Child - Страница 15

The rest of the night passed in a glorious haze of passion. Minutes crawled past and bled into hours that swept them both along on memories and a rush of desire that had been dammed up too long.

Dawn was just tracking colorful fingers across the horizon when Tina stretched, yawned and turned her head to glance out the window.

Every square inch of her body felt thoroughly used. Brian hadn’t missed a trick and had, in fact, picked up a few new ones since the last time they’d been together. If her heart ached a little at the knowledge that he’d undoubtedly been with other women since they’d separated, she wouldn’t let him know it. She would bury that ache and keep it to herself. After all, she hadn’t exactly lived like a nun for the past five years either.

But she was honest enough to admit, at least to herself, that no one had ever touched her the way Brian did. With another man, it was simply sex. With Brian, it was lovemaking that bordered on the spiritual.

She shifted her gaze back to him and smiled. Even sleeping, Brian didn’t look innocent. He looked—dangerous. And he was. At least to her sense of well-being.

But with his dark blue eyes closed, she could indulge herself by studying him as she would any other gorgeous work of art. His chest rippled with muscles tanned to a deep, rich brown, despite his Irish heritage. A scattering of black hair swept down the center of his chest and disappeared beneath the pale green sheet they’d at last crawled under sometime during the night. One arm cocked behind his head, he slept with a smile on his face and damned if it wasn’t an arrogant, self-satisfied smirk.

But, since she knew a like smile was currently curving her own mouth, she couldn’t really blame him for it. One night with Brian was better than a hundred nights with anyone else. And how sad for Tina to discover that truth only to have to leave him again.

Hopefully though, this time when they parted, she would take a small piece of him with her. She dropped one hand to her abdomen and spread her fingers wide across it, as if already cradling the minute child that might be within.

“When a woman smiles like that,” Brian said softly, “makes a man wonder what she’s thinking about.”

Tina started, then guiltily moved her hand from her belly to reach for the sheet, pulling it up to cover her breasts. “Um…”

He grinned. “Good answer.” Then he turned onto his side, swept the sheet aside and cupped one of her breasts in his palm.

Tina sucked in a breath as his thumb and forefinger teased and tweaked her nipple.

“You’re not feeling shy all of a sudden, are you?”

Brian asked.

“No,” she said, “just a little tired.”

“Not surprising,” he admitted. “Even I usually require more than an hour’s sleep at night.”

But that’s all they’d had, she realized. Because neither of them had wanted to stop touching the other long enough to snooze, however briefly. Finally, exhaustion had slapped them both into sleep just before dawn.

When she didn’t answer, his hand on her breast stilled and his gaze narrowed on her. “Are you all right?”

“Sure,” she said, biting back her second thoughts, tamping down on the first stirring of guilt that was already beginning to nibble at the edges of her conscience.

“Yeah,” he said, sitting up to look down at her. “I’m convinced.”

The back of his neck itched.

Just like it did whenever he was in the field. Even at thirty thousand feet above the earth, a pilot could sense when there were missiles targeting his ship. And it was that very sixth sense that was jangling inside him now like a mission bell blowing in a hurricane wind.

“It’s nothing, Brian. Really.”

“It’s something,” he countered and told himself that he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to like it. All night, he and Tina had connected just like the old days. Despite the lack of sleep tugging at him, he’d never felt more alive than he had at this moment. And he knew without a doubt that once Tina started talking, that well-being was going to fly out a window. And still, he had to know. “Why don’t you just spill it?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said.

“Now I know we’ve gotta talk,” Brian told her and felt his stomach clench into fists of anxiety. Something was definitely up.

“Let’s not do this, okay?” she said and abruptly scooted to the edge of his bed and scrambled around on the floor, looking for the towel she’d discarded the night before.

“Okay, when Tina Coretti doesn’t want to talk,” Brian muttered darkly, “there’s trouble. And I want to know what it is.”

She shot him a look over her shoulder, blew her hair out of her eyes and gave him what she no doubt hoped would look like an innocent shrug.

“No trouble. Really. Just looking for a shower and some clothes now.” She didn’t want to have this talk now. Not when she knew it would lead to an argument of apocalyptic proportions. And Tina wasn’t sure she was ready for that. Not when her body was still humming from his touch and her heart was still aching with the knowledge that she loved a man who didn’t want her.

Where did the stupid towel go? she wondered. Not like it could walk off on its own.

“Why don’t I believe you?”

She glanced at him again, tugged the sheet with her, draping it around her body before dropping to the floor. “Beats me,” she said. “Maybe you have a suspicious nature?”

“Talk to me, Tina,” he complained and she heard the impatience in his voice and winced at it.

So much for the happy afterglow thing, she thought as she continued to grope her way across the floor, looking under tables and the edge of the bed for her wayward towel. “You know what?” She staggered to her feet, caught her toe on the hem of the sheet and stumbled forward a step or two. “Screw the towel. I’ll just borrow this sheet to go back to Nana’s house in. I’ll bring it back to you tonight.”

Then she made the mistake of turning around to look at him. Naked and comfortable with it, he was sprawled across the rumpled sheets, braced on his elbows as he watched her. Every square inch of him was gorgeous. He looked like a statue carved by a master craftsman. Well, except for the suspicion gleaming in his eyes.

“Not a chance,” he muttered.

“You don’t trust me with your sheet?”

“I don’t give a good damn about the stupid sheet, Tina,” he said, sliding off the bed and stalking toward her. “I want to know what’s going on inside that head of yours and you’re not leaving until you tell me.”

Tina took an instinctive step backward, then stiffened her spine and stood her ground. After all, she wasn’t ashamed of what she’d done. Well, not totally, anyway. It wasn’t as if she’d had to hold a gun to his head to get him to have sex with her, right? He’d enjoyed himself. Many times.

Although, said a little voice in the back of her mind, if he’d known what you were doing, he never would have slept with you.

But then, she reasoned, however faulty, that’s precisely why she hadn’t told him.

Until now.

She forced herself to look into his eyes, because looking anywhere else would only send her blood into a frothing rush—and she knew darn well that once he knew what was going on…there wouldn’t be any more rolling around on those rumpled sheets.

Their gazes locked and Brian studied her features for what felt like forever. Then slowly, her gaze shifted to one side as if she couldn’t quite look him in the eyes. Not a good sign.

“Last night,” he said, his voice low and dangerous, “when you said I didn’t have to worry about not having condoms…”

Tina reached up and pushed her hair back from her face. With her free hand, she clutched the sheet to her chest like some ancient battle shield. “Yes?”

“You did mean that you were on the pill, right?”

“Not exactly.”

His features froze over. Some unidentifiable emotion—panic maybe, or fear—clawed at his chest. She still wouldn’t look directly at him. Oh yeah, his sixth sense was never wrong.

“Not exactly?” he repeated, remembering just how many times he’d made love to Tina during the night. How many times his little warriors had stormed her undefended beaches. The air in the room got a little thin and he had to gulp in oxygen like a drowning man. “Just what the hell does ‘not exactly’ mean?”

“It means that I’m not on the pill, but you don’t have to worry.”

Not on the pill.

Four words guaranteed to strike fear into the hearts of men everywhere. The world shifted just a bit and he felt as though he were perched on the edge of a cliff and already sliding swiftly toward a crevasse that was going to swallow him whole. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

Don’t have to worry? he thought. What the hell kind of man did she think he was? Did she really believe he could make a child and walk away? Didn’t she know him at all?

Oh, God.

A baby?

His blood pumped and the furious roaring in his ears sounded a backdrop for the bass drum beating of his heart.

“And I shouldn’t worry because…”

Here it comes. Tina had known all along that she’d have to tell him. That she wouldn’t be able to not tell him. But it was different, now.

Back home in California, when she was talking to Janet, planning all of this, thinking it through, she’d done it objectively. She’d reasoned it all out and the plan had seemed fair to her. She would have the child she’d always wanted and Brian would have the opportunity to either be a part of the child’s life or not, as he chose.

Now though, guilt was a living thing inside her.

Now, she regretted the lie to him—though she didn’t regret her actions, not one bit. She wouldn’t trade the past several hours with Brian for anything. And hopefully, they’d created a child—and she would love it with all her heart.

The problem was, she loved Brian, too. And loving him, she could feel badly for tricking him into this. For taking advantage of the nearly magical chemistry they’d always shared. But if she had to live with guilt to have his child, then that’s just the way it would have to be.

She looked up at him and etched this image of him into her brain. Stern, his face set in hard planes and sharp angles, his eyes glittering with impatience and the first stirring of temper. Outside, the sun was creeping into the sky, sending the first pale rays of light reaching into the shadows of the room. Birds chirped, the wind blew softly and the day moved forward even while time seemed to click to a standstill here in Brian’s apartment.

He reached for her, his hands coming down on her shoulders, his fingers digging into her flesh, branding her skin with heat. “Tell me what the hell you think you’re doing, Tina. I’ve got a right to know.”

She steadied herself, taking a deep breath and blowing it out again before trying to answer him. Then tossing her hair behind her shoulders, she looked him dead in the eye and started talking. “Yes, you do. And I was going to tell you anyway, I want you to know that.”

“Tell me what?”

“That I want to be pregnant.”

He blinked, opened his mouth, then slammed it shut again, clearly waiting for more.

She gave it to him.

“And I’m really hoping that we made a baby last night.”

He let her go so suddenly, she staggered backward a step or two before regaining her balance. His eyes went wide and he looked at her as if she were a stranger who’d wandered into his room accidentally.

“A baby?”

Tina winced slightly at the horrified tone in his voice, but she stood her ground defiantly. A Coretti didn’t hide from responsibility. “That’s right. I wanted a baby and I wanted you to be the father.”

He reached up and shoved both hands along his skull, as if he were trying to keep his brain from exploding. “You wanted,” he said after a long, painful moment of silence. “You didn’t think I should get a vote in that?”

Tina’s lips quirked and her gaze slid past him to the bed and back again. “You voted yes, Brian. Many times as I recall.”

“I voted for sex,” he pointed out harshly. “Don’t remember voting for fatherhood.”

That stung and because it was true, she only nodded. “I know. But when I said you didn’t have to worry, I meant it.”

“Right. Don’t worry. Make babies, move on.”

“Brian, I want this baby.”

“Don’t say that,” he snapped. “We don’t know that there is a baby.”

She slapped one hand to her abdomen, as if she could block the ears of the microscopic life that might already be forming inside her. “I hope to heaven there is.”

“Tina, what in the hell were you thinking?”

“I just told you.”

“Uh-huh,” he muttered thickly and moved past her, grabbing up his jeans and tugging them on.

“Your biological clock ticks and the alarm goes off on me?”

“For God’s sake, Brian,” she said, gathering up her sheet and holding it even tighter around her body, “you don’t have to act like I pulled a gun on you and forced you to have sex with me.”

His head snapped up and he pinned her with a look that would have terrified a lesser woman. But Tina was used to the Reilly temper. And had one of her own to match.

“You tricked me,” he said.

“I tempted you,” she corrected, clinging to that

distinction.

“You knew damn well what you were up to and didn’t tell me.”

“Oh, please,” she said, pushing her stupid hair back out of her eyes again. He was dressed now. So unfair. He had the advantage here. Hard to fight for your rights with dignity when you’re wearing a pale green toga. “Don’t act like some poor little virgin who was taken advantage of. You were more than willing, thanks to that idiotic bet you and your brothers made.”

He stopped. “You know about the bet?”

“Yep.”

He scowled. “Liam.”

“Yep.”

He lifted one finger and pointed it at her like a physical accusation. “So you set this up deliberately. You caught me at a weak moment.”

One dark eyebrow lifted. “And your point is?”

Furious now, Brian buttoned up his jeans, planted both hands at his hips and glared at her. “You should have told me.”

All of the air left her lungs in a rush and she almost felt like a balloon deflating in the hands of a greedy child. Hindsight was always twenty-twenty, she reassured herself. And he might have a tiny, tiny, point. “Maybe.”

“No maybe about it, babe.”

Tina winced. Funny. He’d called her “babe” all night and it had sounded sexy, titillating. Now it sounded cold and dismissive. “If I’d told you, you wouldn’t have cooperated.”

“Hah!” He grinned victoriously. “Exactly my point.”

Sighing now, Tina felt regret pool in her stomach and spread cold tentacles throughout her body. How sad it was, she thought, that the two of them had come to this. How sad that so much fire was now only an empty chill in a shadowy room. “Brian, I don’t want anything from you.”

“No, why should you?” He threw both hands high and let them slap down against his thighs again. “You’ve already gotten what you needed from me.”

From outside, the roar of a jet streaking by overhead thundered through the room and Tina felt a hard jolt. Soon enough, she’d be home again in California, alone, and praying for the existence of the child Brian didn’t want. And Brian would be here, flying those jets, preparing to step back into danger at a moment’s notice.

She’d thought she could come into town, sleep with Brian and make a baby, then slip right back into her world. But the truth was, she would never really be free of Brian. It was the plain and simple truth.

No wonder none of the men she’d dated over the years had been able to touch her heart. Her heart had always been here, in Baywater with her ex-husband. She couldn’t fall in love with anyone else when she still loved Brian Reilly.

As if he, too, felt the sense of misery creeping into her heart, he said, with regret rather than temper, “Don’t you get it, Tina? I don’t want to be a part-time father.”

“You don’t have to be, Brian,” she said and wondered if he knew what it cost her to say this. “I’m not asking you to be an active parent. You can be as involved or as distant as you choose to be.”

“Oh,” he said quietly, “now I get a vote?”

“Yes,” she said, just as quietly, “when I told you not to worry, I meant it. If you want to, you can never speak to me again.”

“Just like that.”

Okay, she was willing to admit that maybe, maybe, what she’d done had been a mistake. Unfair to him. But she wasn’t going to stand here and let him pretend that he’d rather things were different between them. “Yes, Brian. Just like that. It’s been five years, remember? And we’ve talked maybe three times in all that time.”

“This is different,” he snarled. “What’s between you and I is one thing. What’s between me and a child I created, is something else altogether. You think I could let my child not be a part of my life?”

“That’ll be up to you.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Despite the already growing heat, Tina felt a chill snake along her spine and she wished fervently that they’d never had this conversation. She should have waited to see if there was a baby before confronting him with the possibilities.

“There’s no point in talking about this anymore,”

she said suddenly, turning as she spoke to head for the door. “I’m going back to the house.”

“What about locking yourself out?” he said, sarcasm dripping from every word.

She stopped, one hand on the doorknob, and shot him a look over her shoulder. “I lied.”

“Big surprise.”

Her shoulders hunched as his words slapped at her. “I’m sorry you’re mad, Brian,” she said, never taking her gaze from his, despite inwardly flinching from the fury she saw written in his eyes. “But I’m not sorry about last night. And I’m not sorry that we might have made a baby.” She opened the door and paused again. “I am sorry that you are, though.”

Then she stepped through the door and closed it softly behind her.

Brian stood alone in the growing patch of sunlit warmth and had never felt so bone-deep cold in his life.