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chapter five


“June!” Quint happily exclaims. “You had backup waiting?!”

June grins. “Sure did.”

I frown. “Was your backup plan code word ‘JACK, IT APPEARS YOUR PLAN HAS FAILED?’ ”

June shrugs. “It worked, didn’t it?”

“That is so messed up. But also I’m good with it ’cause it means I was not bluffing. YOU HEAR THAT, EVIE? I wasn’t bluffing!”

Evie just glares and leaps back. A thin layer of water is trickling up through the floor. Biggun’s meteor-like landing weakened the ground.

Ghazt descends from his disgusting throne. Bits of hardened cheese and melted chocolate stick to his fur. He snarls, “Seize them!” and his tail WHIP-CRACKS in the air. Instantly, the blue-robed zombies close in!

“Dudes,” I say. “I’m going for the tail! You keep the zombies busy!”

“Happily!” Skaelka says.

Biggun just grunts and begins hurling zombies right and left. June and Quint are back-to-back, battling the Cabal of the Cosmic.

Crack!

Ghazt’s tail smacks me, and I’m hurled across the room. I land against a half-inflated pile of bowling lane bumpers.

Ghazt strides towards me, wading through his battling zombie horde. He darts forward and slashes his fat claw in my direction.

“Yikes!”

I dodge the attack by ungracefully flopping to the floor. His gnarled nails slice open big blue bumpers. There’s a loud hiss, then an angry snarl as Ghazt claws his way through shredded rubber.


I jab the Slicer, and Ghazt inches back. His whiskers twitch. His nose wrinkles. And a smile crosses his hideous face . . .

“You know, Jack, during the horribly botched transference that brought me to your dimension, I adopted some of the rat’s qualities. Including smell; and I smell the fear on you now, boy.”

Just then, his beady eyes dart to the side – and his tail snaps. His powers seize a nearby zombie, and it’s suddenly zipping across the room.

But not towards me.

Towards Quint.

The zombie’s feet skim the ground and its outstretched arms thrash. Its broken jaw snaps menacingly. “Murrrr!”

“Quint!” I call out, but it’s too late for any warning cries. The zombie is nearly upon my best buddy.

A horrifying bolt of cold fear explodes inside my brain: the image of Quint being bitten, being zombified.

I don’t think.

I simply act.

I swing the Louisville Slicer towards the zombie, leaving a dark streak of energy in the air. And then –


I feel the Slicer catch – like the blade and the zombie are connected by some strange magnetism.

And all around, it’s like someone hit the PAUSE button on this battle. Everyone’s looking at me. My arms are unsteady and there’s a zombie, frozen, braced to pounce . . .

I feel Ghazt’s power tugging at the zombie, trying to push it towards Quint.

“No . . . you . . . DON’T!” I cry out, forcing the Slicer downward.

The hovering zombie is thrust down, too. Its knees buckle and it crumples to the floor in a drooling, groaning heap.


From the corner of my eye, I spot Skaelka sneaking up behind Ghazt. I need to keep him busy for one more moment.

Ghazt’s icy rat eyes peer at me. Then the Slicer.

“Impressive,” he laughs. “But it will not be enough to defeat me.”

I shrug. “That’s cool. I don’t have to defeat you. I just have to distract you.”

Ghazt grunts, “Uh?”

And Skaelka swings . . .


Skaelka’s razor-sharp blade slices through Ghazt’s tail! The creature SHRIEKS. His eyes go wide and his face contorts into a “oh no now my tail is just a nub” face.

Instantly, every zombie STOPS. Their arms fall to their sides, stiff, like they’re awaiting orders. They moan quietly. Drool falls.

Suddenly, water sloshes at our feet – it’s old, grimy, and smells like someone forgot to flush. I realize Skaelka’s axe must have split the floor, too.

Ghazt wobbles back and forth. Without his tail, he’s off balance. He lurches to the side, then crashes heavily to the floor.

It cracks open even further.

I see a crisscrossing maze of pipes beneath the floor – and one massive sewer pipe, as wide as a train. The wood begins to crumble completely – like jigsaw puzzle pieces, falling away.

Ghazt’s paws slap, his gnarled nails scrape the floor – but that only makes it worse. Water rushes up around him.

He lashes out, grabbing Evie.

Her eyes lock on to mine. She’s stuck – and she knows it. She’s scared. But more than that – I can tell she looks mad. She forces a never-admit-defeat smile. And then they are pulled under . . .


And like that – Evie and Ghazt are swept up in the rushing sewer water . . . gone.

“Whoa,” I say. “Did we just beat the bad dudes? Already?”

“We beat these bad dudes – yeah,” June says. “The threat is over – at least for a while.”

I grin. “Rad. Mission Operation: COMPLETE.”

Quint approaches the severed tail. “Most important, we’ve removed Ghazt’s ability to control zombies.”

I glance around. Quint’s right. The zombies don’t move. They just stare at the tail. Eyes dull.

All of a sudden, Bardle comes sweeping into the room, stepping over the rubble.


Last Kids on Earth and the Midnight Blade

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