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chapter three

It’s like the King Wretch looks through my eyeballs, beyond, and straight into my brain – like he’s gazing deep into my soul. My vision clouds. Everything begins to go black.

My body is loose. Wobbly.

It’s strange, but – I think I’m falling asleep. On my feet. Everything is becoming very –

SCREECH!

Squealing tyres snap me out of my strange waking slumber. I manage to turn and see –


The King Wretch glances at my friends and our BoomKart weaponry, then his head swings back to me. There’s something in his chilling eyes and dripping fangs that resembles a sly smile. I see – I know – this monster has zero fear of me or my buds.

But he leaves anyway.

The King Wretch gives me a final look – a once-over – and then shoots into the sky with a burst of beating wings. His tail snaps the pavement as he rockets away, winging, curving, and slicing into the distance.

The soda bubbles in my brain are fading away and my head is feeling halfway normal again. I drop to my buddy. ‘Rover, you OK?’

Rover shakes his head like he’s knocking the cobwebs loose, then gets to his feet. He looks OK, although there’s an anger on his face that I’ve never seen – like he wouldn’t mind seeing that King Wretch again.

Like he wouldn’t mind a bit of revenge.

Suddenly, June gasps. She’s frantically ripping open Rover’s saddlebag. ‘The radio!’ she exclaims. ‘It’s busted up!’

June’s face has gone pale and she looks like she’s about to vomit, but Quint and Dirk save the moment.

‘I promise to repair it, June,’ Quint says.

‘Like the geek said,’ Dirk adds, ‘we’ll fix it. No question.’

June nods and breathes a shaky sigh of relief. ‘OK . . .’

I stare into the distance. I watch the King Wretch fading, getting small, and finally disappearing behind the crumbling Wakefield skyline.

With any luck, that’s the last we’ll be seeing of that beast.



So things are different now.

A lot different.

And not just different since before the Monster Apocalypse.

I mean different since the last time you saw us. In the past month, things have changed A TONNE.

Here’s a quick recap for those, like myself, with crummy memories. Six months ago, there was a Monster Apocalypse. Doors opened above the Earth, and suddenly monsters and beings from a different dimension were propelled into our world – along with the horrible zombie plague. It looked a bit like this . . .


A bunch of these monsters took up residence at our local slice shop, Joe’s Pizza. And they weren’t evil – they were terrifying-at-first-but-totally-friendly-in-the-end monsters.


However, one of the monsters was actually pure evil. His name was Thrull, and he worshipped the diabolical ultra-villain Ŗeżżőcħ the Ancient, Destructor of Worlds. Thrull was trying to bring Ŗeżżőcħ to Earth so that Ŗeżżőcħ could devour and destroy our planet.

Me, my human buddies, and the Joe’s Pizza monster crew teamed up to defeat Thrull and Ŗeżżőcħ. But Ŗeżżőcħ may try to return. See, he’s got a whole Emperor Palpatine vibe to him. Very sinister, possibly bad skin.

So these days, my human buddies and the good-dude monsters live in awesome harmony in Wakefield Town Square. It used to be a boring old suburban town. But now it’s Monster City!


When my friends and I get back from our run-in with the King Wretch, we’re greeted by Biggun. He’s the biggest of all the friendly monsters. He stands guard at the entrance to the Town Square, day and night, rain or shine or regular in-the-middle cloudiness. Doesn’t talk. He’s basically the town bouncer.


The monsters have turned the crumbling Wakefield Town Square into a busy, bustling monster home – a place where all are welcome.

‘Hey-ya, Jack!’ a monster named Pogvane says.

‘Dirk, we arm wrestling later?’ the monster Etagg calls out.

‘June, you must show me how to prepare your fried macaroni recipe!’ another monster says.

Strolling through town, my heart swells. I’ve just never felt more complete. It’s like walking down the hall at school, and everyone knows you, everyone says hey, everyone wants to chat. It’s a feeling I’d never had – a feeling I could only imagine until now.

It’s camaraderie.

Besides that awesome human-monster camaraderie, the best part of our Town Square home is that it’s totally zombie-free – and that’s thanks to our monster friend Bardle . . .

-Bardle-


Bardle and Quint designed torches to keep the zombies away. You know those candles you light in the summer to keep mosquitos away? It’s like that. We call them Zom-B-Gone torches. They surround the Town Square, so we don’t have to worry about zombies popping up at inopportune moments and, y’know, eating us.

The Zom-B-Gone torches might maybe work on Winged Wretches, too, because other than that big ol’ King Wretch, we haven’t seen many of those around lately. Not that I’m complaining.

Anyway, in Wakefield Town Square, there’s always something fun going down. For example:

• One day, it’s the monster Muldrurd having a sale on newly crafted arms and armour. Another day, it’s a rock-eating contest.

• There’s a weekly wrestling match where these two big lugs – Thonn and Gronn – duke it out. They got the idea after I showed them an old episode of WWE Raw I had on DVD.

• Sometimes at night, we watch movies. Y’know, to show the monsters about life on Earth – and to show them that movies are the best.

There are restaurants, too. The monsters are still learning how to cook with Earth food – a few of their things came through the portal with them, but not much. The food is – well – interesting . . .


After we grab a bite, Quint yawns. ‘I’m exhausted from the day’s adventures. And I should get to work on repairing the radio.’

‘Yes!’ June exclaims. ‘No dillydallying. Straight to work, Quint.’

I won’t lie – I’m beat, too. And a little freaked from the King Wretch encounter. So we head home. Home is a tree house – and the tree house is mind-clobberingly cool . . .


The tree house used to be in my backyard. But – thanks to a monster called the Wormungulous – the whole thing was transplanted here, downtown, into the Joe’s Pizza parking lot . . .


So this is life right now.

And as we stroll back to the tree house, I’m thinking that life is good!

In fact, life is perfect !

Of course, in a post-Monster-Apocalypse world, life is never perfect for long . . .

The Last Kids on Earth and the Nightmare King

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