Читать книгу I Love Artists - Mei-mei Berssenbrugge - Страница 12
ОглавлениеThe Heat Bird
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A critic objects to their “misterian” qualities
I look it up and don't find it, which must relate
to the mystères in religions. Stepping across stones in the river, which covers my sound, I startle a big bird who must circle the meadow to gain height. There is a din of big wings. A crow loops over and over me. I can see many feathers gone from its wing by sky filling in, but it's not the big bird I walk into the meadow to find what I've already called an eagle to myself. At first you just notice a heap like old asphalt and white stones dumped
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There is a curving belly. The cow's head is away from me
Its corpse is too new to smell, but as an explanation
hasn't identified my bird. Twice I'm not sure if light wings
between some bushes are not light through crow feathers
but then I really see the expansive back swoop down
and circle up to another cottonwood and light
It's a buzzard with a little red head. You say
that's good. They're not so scarce anymore. It should
have been more afraid of me
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Fresh wind blows the other way at dawn, so
I'm free to wonder at the kind of charge such a mass
of death might put on air, which is sometimes clear
with yellow finches and butterflies. That poor heap
is all sleeping meat by design with little affect
I decide in a supermarket, whose sole mystere is an evocative creak in a wheel. Not unlike a dead stinkbug on the path, but unlike a little snake I pass over All night I pictured its bones for a small box of mine Today I remembered, on my last night you wanted to linger after the concert, drinking with other couples like a delicate dragonfly
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And I can't predict your trauma. Potent and careless
as radiation here, which we call careless, because
we don't suspect anything. Then future form is in doubt
Like a critic I thought form was an equilibrium
which progressed by momentum from some original reduction
of fear to the horizon. But my son's thigh bones
are too long. I seduced myself. I thought
I'll give it a little fish for the unexpected. Its paw
moved. My back-bones are sparking mica on sand
now, that carried messages up and down
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Glass that melted in the last eruption of the
Valle Grande has cooled, and you can run
among wild iris on a slope, or fireweed in the fall
Its former violence is the landscape, as far as Oklahoma. Its ontogeny as a thin place scrambles the plane's radio, repeating the pre-radio dream At any time, they all tell us, to think of eruption as a tardy arrival into present form, the temperate crystal I still see brightness below as night anger, not because of violence, but its continuousness with the past while airy light on the plain is merciful and diffuse that glints on radium pools. I wanted to learn how to dance last year. I thought your daughter might teach me
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She did a pretty good job at elucidating something
she didn't understand and had no interest in
out of duty. She has evoked a yen for dance. Any
beat with wind through it. In an apricot tree
were many large birds, and an eagle that takes off
as if tumbling before catching its lift. I thought
it was flight that rumpled the collar down like a broken neck
but then as it climbed, it resembled a man in eagle dress
whose feathers ruffle back because of firm feet
stamping the ground in wind. The other birds discreetly
passed their minutes with old drummers of stamina
but eagles entered swept ground oblivious to other drummers
making streams of rhythm in their repetitions
until pretty soon some of the other ladies' white feet
moved to them, too, bound thickly around the ankles
so their claws look especially small
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Where I saw their fine cross-hatch was competition
not air moving through air or weather
though the water balloon she tried to dodge
as it wobbled this way and that like big buttocks
before breaking on her shoulder was rain. The rain is not important. It rains, not very often but regularly. If I am far from you isn't the current of missed events between us an invention of potency like a summer storm at night, or when I see you A throw of food and household goods from the roof to all of us became a meteor shower across fixed stars In their parallel rain I can't judge each gift's distance
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I looked to my right. Though sun wasn't yet behind
them, it was bright near each tree at the top
of the ridge in silhouette. These were precise
too, on a closer edge outside time, being botanical
I mix outside time and passing time, across
which suspends a net of our distance or map
in veering scale, that oils sinuous ligaments
or dissolves them into a clear liquid of disparates
that cannot be cleaned. Its water glows like wing bars
and remains red and flat in pools. On the way
to that town there were green waist-high meters on the plain
There was a sharp, yellow line on the blacktop
In rain it remains sharp, but its dimension below the road
softens and lengthens through aquifers. The eagles'
wingbones began to stretch open with practicing, so
luminous space in their wings showed against the sky
giving each a great delicacy in turns
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They took me to the little town where they were
working, because I asked them to take me. To my left
was an old porch with long roof boards going away
from me, on 2 X 8 rafters perpendicular to them
and the falling-down house. Light descended
to my right. Narrow cracks between boards cast
a rain of parallel bright lines across the rafters
which seemed precise and gay in the ghost town
They were outside its time, though with each change in sun
they changed a little in angle and length, systematically
They were outside the carnage of my collaborative seductions
When I touch your skin or hear singers in the dark, I get
so electric, it must be my whole absence pushing I think, which might finally flow through proper canyons leaving the big floor emptied of sea, empty again where there used to be no lights after dark
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Prosaic magpies arrive about the time ribs begin
to show a beautiful scaffolding over its volume
where the organs were. The buzzard now brings to mind
a defunct windmill with a wheel hub, but no blades. The eagle's
descending back still bears, after enough time has passed
when the event is articulate, and I know its configuration
is not mixed, or our mingling, or the “intent” of a dance
If a bright clearing will form suddenly, we will
already know of it