Читать книгу Never Underestimate a Caffarelli - Melanie Milburne, Melanie Milburne - Страница 11

CHAPTER THREE

LILY DID HER best with the meal Dominique set before her but the intensely penetrating gaze of Raoul Caffarelli did no favours to her already meagre appetite. He made her feel threatened, but strangely it wasn’t in a physical way. He had a way of looking at her as if he was quietly making a study of her, peeling back the layers she had taken such great pains to stitch into place. Those layers were the only things holding her together. She could not bear the thought of him unravelling her, uncovering her shame for the world to see.

She tugged her sleeves down over her scarred arms beneath the table. The multiple fine white lines were not as noticeable as they once had been but she still liked to keep them covered. She hated the looks she got, the questioning lift of eyebrows and the judgemental comments such as, ‘how could you deliberately cut yourself?’.

But the external scars were nothing to what she kept hidden on the inside.

Lily hated thinking of herself as a victim. She liked to think of herself as a survivor, but there were days when the nightmare of her twenty-first birthday came back to her in sharp stabs of memory that pierced the carapace she had constructed around herself. Sometimes it felt as if her soul was still bleeding, drop by drop, until one day there would be nothing left...

She looked up from fiddling with her sleeves to find Raoul’s hazel gaze on her. She had lost track of time; how long had he been looking at her like that? ‘Sorry... Did you say something?’

‘No.’

‘Oh...I thought you did.’

‘You looked like you were miles away,’ he said.

She tried to keep her features blank. ‘Did I?’

‘Are you a dreamer, Miss Archer?’

Lily would have laughed if she could remember how to do it. She had long ago given up dreaming for things that could never be hers. She was more or less resigned to the bitter reality that she could not turn back the clock and make a better choice this time around. ‘No.’

He continued to hold her gaze, watching...watching. She forced herself to keep still, to not fidget or shift in her seat. But the tension was making her neck and shoulders ache and she could feel a headache starting at the back of her eyes. If she wasn’t careful it would turn into a migraine and she would be even more vulnerable than she was now.

Lily put her napkin on the table. ‘Will you excuse me?’ She pushed back her chair. ‘I need to use the bathroom.’

He gave a formal nod without once disconnecting his gaze from hers. ‘Be my guest.’