Читать книгу The Family Man - Melinda Curtis - Страница 9

AFTER HIS SHOWER, Logan pushed through the kitchen door in search of caffeine. Thea stood at the counter wiping down a coffee cup, humming a tune and moving her body almost imperceptibly to some beat only she could hear. The coffeepot was gurgling with life, but it was Thea’s energy that held Logan spellbound.

Colors. Bells. A woman’s voice.

How long had it been since he’d felt happy enough to go out dancing? Never mind that he’d spent much of the last eight months recuperating from his broken leg. When was the last time joy of any sort had surged through his blood and energized his body?

Logan yanked at the neck of his T-shirt, which suddenly seemed to be choking him. His sister had died in this house. Her two daughters had witnessed Deb growing weaker by the day. There was nothing to celebrate here. How dare this woman—this stranger who had replaced Deb in Wes’s life—come into his kitchen and bop around as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

The kitchen door creaked softly as it settled into place.

Thea started and turned, stopping when she saw Logan staring at her. She gave him a half shrug and a half smile as though he should understand that she couldn’t help herself.

But she did stop moving.

“Are you through?” he asked between gritted teeth.

She blinked those milk-chocolate eyes of hers. If he was expecting a fight, he wasn’t going to get it.

Logan struggled with his temper. Lately, anything could light his fuse. He’d been yearning for a good fight, and had even considered hitting a bar down the mountain in the hopes of finding trouble. Lately? Who was he kidding? He’d battled his temper since the day he was born.

With more than ten years as a Hot Shot, Logan had been in his share of brawls—mostly after long days on a fire when he was too keyed up and exhausted to sleep. The Sun Valley fire, with Spider riding his ass every day, had been tough. Coming home to his nieces had been tougher.

“Coffee’s ready. Milk or sugar?”

Logan didn’t have to look at Thea to see the smile on her face. Cheerfulness filled her voice.

“Half a cup with both,” he managed to say, biting back his irritation.

“One sweet cow, coming up.” She’d already found the milk and sugar. In no time, she’d fixed his coffee. “Would you like a slice of apple pie? Mary brought it by yesterday.”

“No, thanks,” Logan mumbled as he took the cup. He tried sitting, but he was too strung out to relax. His body demanded movement or total release. Besides, the kitchen table was cluttered with books and papers. He paced the kitchen. “Where is everybody?”

“Outside with Whizzer.” She pushed back the curtains over the kitchen windows to let in more light, filling the room with tinkling bells and rays of dust-ridden sunshine.

The command “Don’t,” died in his throat as the suddenly too-bright room dazzled him. He blinked and squinted. “I thought Wes hated dogs.”

“We rescued him along the way. He’s a sweetheart if you don’t make him nervous. And he has a tendency to mark things, which is how we came up with his name. I’m hoping that with a little love and stability, he’ll settle down.”

Without much sleep and without his sunglasses, the light was almost too much to bear. “I suppose strangers make him nervous,” he said, recalling how the terrier had tried to mark him.

“And new places, loud noises and too much excitement.” She added in a dramatic whisper, “I’d keep your voice down if I were you.”

Was she teasing him?

She couldn’t be. But she did seem to be flirting.

The idea that Thea was treating him as if he was an old friend or her big brother, when she didn’t even know him, didn’t seem possible. Or flattering. He was the Tin Man, damn it.

“Aunt Glen seemed to like Whizzer.” She probably likes you. The thought rose unbidden and unwelcome. For whatever reason, Thea was with Wes and, therefore, not to be trusted. “What did you ever see in Wes?” Logan demanded, hoping her answer would put the kibosh on whatever it was about her that intrigued him.

“A place to live and a steady paycheck.” She sounded almost relieved to be talking about it.

The thought of Thea sleeping with Wes turned his stomach. Wes must have really put one over on her.

Thea smiled, but it was an apologetic smile. “Maybe I wasn’t clear before. I’m the girls’ nanny. I took the job because I’m working on my Ph.D. in textiles.” She gestured to the mess of books on the table. “Wes is my employer. Although Wes hasn’t paid me since I started, hasn’t been home in more than four weeks and his cell phone is disconnected.” She blurted it all in a rush and then blushed, as if embarrassed to admit the extent of their problems.

Which were really Logan’s problems.

The good news was she wasn’t shacking up with Wes. It was just her legs and Logan’s lack of sex that had his mind in the gutter. But…Logan sank into a kitchen chair as the meaning of her words sank in.

Heaven help him. With Wes out of the picture, Logan had no choice but to take the girls.

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” he asked when he managed to speak.

She smiled apologetically. “Believe me, I would have loved to have called you sooner. The twins didn’t tell me much about you until we got evicted. I kept us going as long as I could.” She hesitated. “Listen, I’m working on my Ph.D. and the exams are looming. I’ve got to take the tests starting in May, but it looks like you’re in a bind.” She laughed self-consciously. “If you wanted me to stay on, I wouldn’t turn you down.”

Invite all that noise and color to stay? “No, thanks.”

Logan shot up out of his chair. Swift steps took him to the window next to Thea. He wrenched the curtains closed.

“I don’t allow sunlight in here.” It reminded him of his sister’s sunny disposition—strikingly similar to Thea’s. “Or anywhere in the house.”

“I thought they were only closed when you were gone.” The dimples disappeared.

“No.” This close, he could smell Thea’s sweet perfume. He’d bet the fragrance had an optimistic name like Joy or Happy. He crossed to the other side of the kitchen.

“How do you know how to dress for the day if you can’t see outside?”

The question came out of the blue and had Logan’s usually quick tongue stalling on words for a couple of seconds. “I just wear jeans,” he finally answered, tugging the neck of his shirt.

“But—”

“Look, lady…Thea…deciding what to wear isn’t that big of a deal for me every morning.” His words were crisply delivered with just enough bite in them to have most people backing off. “We’ll do fine without you.”

Thea blinked, but didn’t retreat. “I would think that putting your clothes on right-side in or wrong-side out would be a big deal.”

Logan sucked on the inside of his cheek in an attempt to ignore the desire to yell. This woman was obviously a few volts shy of a full charge.

“Your T-shirt is on inside out,” she clarified. “And backward.”

That explained why his T-shirt seemed to be choking him. The heat of humiliation flushed uncomfortably under Logan’s skin, followed by a quick bolt of anger. He resisted the urge to tug the neck of his shirt again.

“Sometimes a little bit of light helps avoid embarrassment later.” Her smile was gentle, not triumphant, which was maddening considering he was itching for a good fight.

“I am not embarrassed.” To prove it, he stripped the shirt off in front of her, snapped it right-side out and pulled it back on. Then he stared at her and sucked on the inside of his cheek, waiting for her to lose her temper.

“Well—” she smiled easily as if they weren’t two strangers who’d just almost argued about something as inane as sunlight and inside-out shirts. “—about me staying…”

LOGAN MCCALL WAS out-of-her-league gorgeous.

Thea had been trying to make him laugh, or at least loosen him up so that he’d realize how much Tess and Hannah needed her here because he didn’t seem to want them. And then he’d gone and done that angry striptease and her mouth had gone dry.

He’d just ripped off his T-shirt to reveal a sculpted chest straight out of a magazine. Forget the Robert Redford comparison. The famous actor had never achieved such hard planes of muscle that tapered downward with a sprinkling of golden hair. And Thea had never come close to dating someone with such solid-looking arms, either.

With a physique like that, Logan must be the firefighter that carried damsels in distress out of windows or down ten flights of stairs without breaking a sweat. He had hero written all over that body. Why he acted more like a hermit living in a cave on a deserted island was beyond her.

Unfortunately, being a brooding hunk didn’t score points for Logan in the caregiver department, nor did the dark, sterile, incredibly uncluttered house. Thea sensed he cared for the twins. If he could just get past his grief, everything would be okay. But it had been more than half a year, and he appeared to be in a worse emotional state than Tess and Hannah. Leave them here with Logan, who could barely care for Glen? Thea’s conscience wouldn’t allow it.

“At this point, I’ll work for room and board, and gas money to get back to Seattle in May,” Thea offered.

She watched Logan pace the limits of the kitchen, wondering if she was pushing him over the edge or if he’d been dangling there these past few months. She hoped it wasn’t the latter.

Logan scowled at her. “You can’t stay.”

“Why not?”

“Because…because…” He looked stricken. “I don’t even know you.”

“But the girls do. I know they need family right now.” Thea’s throat clenched with the admission. “But they need some stability, too.”

“You can’t…I can’t…” He was all doom and gloom. He blew out a breath. “Look, I don’t think it would be good for Tess and Hannah if you stayed.” He wouldn’t look at her. “You’ve got those tests to study for and a life to get back to.”

“I understand. You’re all they have. Your sister would want you to take them,” Thea said because she did understand—she wasn’t wanted here. Still, she racked her brains for an argument he’d accept. She wouldn’t just walk away from the girls.

Logan’s keeping Tess and Hannah was almost as bad as Wes having them. And Logan wasn’t warm and fuzzy with the twins. Their reunion hadn’t been a happy one. Thea had listened on the other side of the kitchen door after the girls went into the living room. He’d been great with Glen, but he hadn’t lasted two minutes with his nieces.

Thea squared her shoulders and gave her foot a little shake, setting off her bells, trying to think happy thoughts. Logan wasn’t hopeless. He could learn how to be a dad. He’d get over his grief in time. And the temper? Well, he was a firefighter, wasn’t he? His temper couldn’t be that bad or they wouldn’t keep him on that Hot Shot crew.

“I’m sure you’ll be able to find a baby-sitter fairly quickly. Someone’s going to jump at a twenty-four-hour-a-day, seven-days-a-week job.” She curbed her smile.

“I’ve got Glen,” he said stubbornly.

Despite herself, Thea blurted, “Glen needs a baby-sitter of her own.”

It took Logan a moment to nod. “She’s been a little out of it lately, but she’s been grieving. She raised Deb and me.”

“You can’t be serious.” Thea had a vision of the fairy-tale house burning down. Logan needed a little less attitude and a lot more reality.

“She’s good with the girls,” he argued, as if that trumped whatever argument she might have. He set his jaw and did that thing with his cheek.

“I don’t doubt she loves Tess and Hannah. But I doubt a woman who can’t take care of herself—even the basics of bathing and going to the bathroom—will be able to take care of them.”

Logan drew back. “She does that.”

Laying a hand on Logan’s arm, Thea shook her head. “I’ve been making a shopping list. I put adult diapers on the list.”

He backed away, rubbing his biceps where she’d touched him as if burned. “Glen has been taking care of herself for years. She’s perfectly capable—”

“How do you know?” Irritated that he couldn’t see what was happening to Glen, Thea propped her fists on her hips.

“I ask…” His expression wavered. “When I hugged her—”

Thea met Logan’s gaze. The truth was going to hurt. “I helped her take a bath last night. Her clothes were stained and crusty, as if she’d been in them for days.”

Logan opened his mouth, closed it and then looked at her as if she’d boxed him into an unpleasant corner.

The fact that he planned to leave Glen in charge of Tess and Hannah only strengthened her resolve to stay. If she had to be blunt and rattle his beliefs, she would. The twins had been in her care for two months. She was responsible for them.

After a moment, he said, “I just don’t think this will work.”

The urge to shout some sense into him became almost palpable. Thea fought it. “Trust me, Glen can’t do this alone. Whoever helps you will be shopping, driving, cooking, cleaning and doing laundry, plus keeping the girls up with their schoolwork and watching out for Glen. It’s a full-time job.”

He sucked on his cheek, his eyes a well of unresolved sadness. For whatever reason, he didn’t want her.

The knowledge stung. It was as if she’d been unwanted and lacking her whole life, and this was the last straw.

“You’re going to make me beg, aren’t you?” Thea said half jokingly as she blinked back tears of regret for Glen, the twins and herself.

For a fleeting moment, he smiled.

Oh, my. Something warm and intimate fluttered in Thea’s belly.

He gave her a rueful look, innocent and heartrending at the same time.

“How about a compromise? I’ll ask the twins if they want me to stay. If they don’t, I’ll help you find a sitter and be out of your hair with no more than a small loan for gas money.”

“And if they do want you to stay?”

“I’m your new sitter until things settle down.” Thea tried to keep her voice from trembling. Staying wouldn’t help her studies or fulfill her promise to her mother. Yet, Thea knew in her heart that she’d fight to stay because it was the right thing to do.

“I’ve got another idea.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m sure Glen’s going to come through. Since you seem so attached to the girls, I’ll let you stay a few days just to ease your mind.”

Thea didn’t understand why Logan was so reluctant to agree to her plan. Maybe her assessment of him as the hero who charged to the rescue had been in error. If so, she had just a few days to prove Tess and Hannah’s recalcitrant hero wrong.

“WHY IS SHE STILL HERE?” Tess wondered about Thea aloud. Tess didn’t understand why Thea hadn’t gone home. Sprawled across her bed, Tess stared at the ceiling while Hannah played with Whizzer on the floor between their two beds, talking to him as if he were a baby. “I know she wants to leave.”

“Maybe she doesn’t have anywhere to go,” Hannah answered.

Tess rolled over and faced the wall. “Who asked you?”

Uncle Logan didn’t seem to like Thea much. He frowned at Thea the way he frowned at Tess and Hannah. Well, mostly Tess.

Mrs. Garrett had told Thea that Uncle Logan would do anything for Tess and Hannah. Tess knew that wasn’t true. Uncle Logan was always grouchy and silent around them now. Nothing like the fun man who used to spoil them. Tess didn’t like him and didn’t know why anyone else would, either.

So why was Thea here?

“I hope Uncle Logan lets her leave Whizzer.” Hannah continued to talk baby talk to the dog.

Someone knocked on their bedroom door. Whizzer pranced over to it and scratched at the wood with his short little legs.

“I bet that’s her,” Tess whispered, rolling over. Something not so good happened in her stomach.

The door opened slowly on its creaky hinges and Thea poked her head in, those bells she always wore jingling. “I think we need to take Whizzer outside. He can’t hold it very long.”

“I’ll do it.” Hannah popped up.

“Just a second, Hannah. I have something to ask the two of you.”

Tess’s tummy clenched again. There was only one reason that adults wanted to talk to kids—bad news.

“Your uncle Logan invited me to stay for a few days. Before I say yes, I wanted to make sure it was okay with you girls. If you don’t want me to stay, you just say the word.”

Hannah picked up Whizzer. “Are you going to be Uncle Logan’s girlfriend?”

Thea opened her eyes really wide and shook her head quickly. “No.”

“Why would you want to stay here?” Tess asked. If Tess had her choice, she’d go stay with the Garretts…as long as it was okay with Heidi. Her mouth went dry. Well, maybe not the Garretts since she and Heidi weren’t talking. But she’d go anywhere there was a real family with a mom and a dad.

Tucking her hair behind her ear, Thea smiled. Thea’s smile made Tess’s stomach ease, but didn’t make the pain go away.

“I made a promise to take care of you. A promise is a very important thing. But I think you need to say yes.” Thea looked around. “I’ll be doing a lot of studying, but maybe we could sew something for your room.”

The way Thea talked had Tess wondering. Did Uncle Logan want her to stay?

“My mom used to sew,” Hannah said, wiping her nose. “She made us dresses once.”

Tess remembered. Her mother had sewn matching blue dresses with pink ribbons that the twins had worn on the first day of school in the third grade. That was when it was really cool to be Hannah’s twin. Now Tess wouldn’t wear the same color shirt Hannah was wearing, much less the same dress.

Thea’s smile faded and her voice got real soft. “I bet your mom did a lot of special things with you.”

Suddenly, Tess could barely fill her lungs with air. Her face started to feel numb and tingly. “Why are you being nice to us?”

Thea started to say something, but Tess drew in a shaky breath and cut her off. “You don’t have to be nice to us anymore. Ask Uncle Logan. We’re not nice.” That’s why no one wanted them.

“Hmm. Your aunt Glen thinks you’re nice.” Thea didn’t correct her or try to be too cheerful the way the teachers did at school when Tess talked back at them. She just looked…serious.

It would have been better if Thea had given her a fake smile or argued with her. Hannah was sniffing, crouched on the floor at her feet. Tess struggled not to cry.

“Tess, I’ve taken care of you for two months and I’ve never seen you do anything mean. I don’t think you realize what a special girl you are, how special you both are. You worked together to save Whizzer, didn’t you?”

When the door closed behind Thea and Whizzer, Tess wiped her nose, listening to Hannah cry. She couldn’t make herself reach down and touch her sister for fear she’d start crying herself and never stop. She ached with loneliness.

Why did Mom have to die?

THEA SAT on the front-porch step watching Whizzer make a frenzied circuit around the sun-dappled yard, but she was seeing something else. Her mind replayed memories of her own past—lying on her bed in a dark room and wondering how she’d make it through the next day without her mother. What would she have done if her father hadn’t wanted to take care of her? At ten, she’d been running the household, striving for perfection in the hopes that her father wouldn’t find fault with and abandon her, too. At ten, Tess and Hannah had gone in the opposite direction, withdrawing into shells so tight they might never open.

“Whizzer must be marking his territory against the raccoons,” Logan commented as he lowered himself onto the step next to her.

Lost in thought, Thea hadn’t heard Logan come outside. She hugged her knees tight as she attempted to push the painful childhood memories to the far corners of her mind, along with the strange flutter she got in her stomach from looking at Logan. Being attracted to him was almost more disconcerting than her memories. He’d already made it very clear he didn’t want her around.

“Should I be afraid of letting Whizzer out at night? He won’t get eaten or anything?” She’d only had the dog for a few days, but he now had a permanent place in her heart.

“Might.” He shrugged. “Cats need to be kept in at night, too. Not because of the raccoons, but because of coyotes and wolves.”

“Wolves.” Thea shivered.

“We’re out in the middle of the woods. This is their turf, not ours.” Anyone else would have smiled when they reminded Thea that she was in the midst of a forest. Not Logan. With the sun on the other side of the house, his face was cast in late-afternoon shadows.

She should have been put off by the closed, withdrawn expression he wore to cloak his grief. Instead, Thea’s heart went out to him once more. His distant demeanor was very hard on his nieces. It wouldn’t help them deal with the death of the most important person in their lives, or the apparent abandonment of their father. Thea had gone through counseling to deal with her own sense of loss and knew that Logan needed to talk about what had happened in order to move on. And if he didn’t move forward in the grieving process, he couldn’t help the girls.

In his isolated mountain home, Logan was clearly not working through his grief, hiding in the silence and darkness he so obviously craved. For some reason, Thea couldn’t shake the thought that Logan needed people to heal. The three of them—Logan, Tess and Hannah—stood a chance if he’d just open up.

“It seems a little lonely up here. No sirens. No music from your neighbor’s apartment. No garbage trucks lumbering by,” Thea said to fill the silence.

He looked at her shoes, before admitting, “Some call it peaceful.”

If it was peace he wanted, he wasn’t getting it from Thea. For two months, the twins had put up with her questions and stories. Maybe her efforts to draw them out weren’t successful, but Thea wasn’t going to stop trying.

“I once met a woman who couldn’t stand silence. She carried a Walkman everywhere she went, with just one earphone plugged in.” There. That ought to get a reaction out of him. Thea couldn’t resist staring at Logan.

Logan looked shell-shocked, and then he deadpanned, “What did she listen to? Religion? Talk radio?”

“Rap music.” Thea allowed herself a small smile at the memory of her grandmother. “She was a black belt and said it kept her on her toes.”

He rolled his eyes. “So, you’re saying silence is overrated?”

“For some people.”

“You, for instance. You’re never silent or still. Why is that?”

This was definitely going in a direction she wanted to avoid. She was who she was, and she didn’t want to explain herself to him. By rights, he shouldn’t want to pursue the subject, either. His house was silent as a tomb. “Were you close to Deb?”

Logan chewed on his cheek, making her wonder if he was going to answer. “Yeah,” he finally admitted.

“Was losing Deb…was it sudden?” The twins rarely spoke of her.

“We knew.” Two words spoken incredibly slowly, an indicator of his tremendous grief.

As he stood, Thea watched Logan erect barriers around himself as clearly as if they’d been made of brick. He was shutting her out.

“And Wes? Were he and Deb—”

“They were separated. He was never here. He never called.” Logan’s words were more guarded than usual. “When he showed up in November and wanted to take the girls, I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t seem to stop him.”

Frowning, Thea rubbed her hands over her eyes. How horrible that must have been for Tess and Hannah, being passed along and cared for by two men who didn’t express their emotions easily. Thea’s father, a police detective, had been much the same.

“Are you staying or not?” There was no invitation in his tone.

“The girls warned me I wouldn’t like it here,” Thea hedged, filled with second thoughts. She didn’t really want to tiptoe through this family’s grief if it meant dredging up all of her own baggage. And yet, how could she not?

“Why did they warn you?” Logan hung his head and answered his own question. “Never mind. It was Tess, wasn’t it?”

Thea rushed to explain. “Tess was more curious as to why I’d want to stay than telling me I couldn’t.”

“I don’t know why you’d want to stay, either. I don’t know what I was thinking even offering to let you stay a few days. I would have run in the opposite direction if I were in your shoes.”

“Then why did you ask me?”

HE HESITATED. Why indeed?

Logan’s muscles bunched. Any more pressure and he just knew he’d crack. Deb. The twins. His leg. His entire body vibrated with the need for a release. Thea placed a hand on his arm. Her fingers were cool against his skin. Despite himself, the tension in Logan’s muscles eased.

“Do you want to tell me more about Deb?”

Looking into Thea’s solemn gaze, Logan wanted desperately to say no. Anything he said was just going to make him look weak. He had his rules, which was how he kept it all together.

Don’t talk about Deb. Don’t think about Deb.

With effort, he made his head move in something that might have resembled a stiff shake.

“I know it sounds like a cliché, but sometimes it helps to talk about it. Especially to a stranger.”

Logan’s lungs wouldn’t fill with air. Sister Mary Sunshine was here to fix him?

He swore.

At her.

Thea’s cheeks filled with color. “I shouldn’t have pried. I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry.” His muscles tensed again.

“I was just trying to help. It’s like you’re wearing this sign that says go away, and yet underneath it you’ve written don’t go—”

“Like hell I did.”

“And I’m such a sucker for strays.” Her bells echoed on the porch, mocking his indignation.

What right did Thea have to be upset? Logan’s body began to shake. “I’m not asking for help and there’s no sign on me, clear?”

“Perfectly.”

“I could have sent you on your way first thing.” He should have brawled with Spider in Sun Valley. At least then he’d have taken the edge off.

“I appreciate it.”

She was almost infuriatingly polite. Logan flexed his fingers.

“Did you also try to fix Wes?”

Thea blinked, barely pausing. “No.”

She was cooler under fire than Logan would have thought for someone emitting all that color and noise. “So, based on a few hours with me, you’ve decided I need some therapy?”

“I think you need to talk about your feelings.” She straightened, looking aside. Her cheeks turned pink. “Yes.”

“And Wes didn’t.”

“No.” Her gaze rose to the stairs at his booted feet.

“Did you know that Wes can’t keep his wallet or his dick in his pants? He’s always broke and sleeping around. And you didn’t see any signs on him?”

She paled, looking at a point near his knee. “No.”

His throat threatened to close, but he forced the words out anyway. “Did you know that Wes Delaney is a heartless, selfish, son of a bitch who doesn’t care for his girls and didn’t care for my sister?”

“No.”

“Did you know that he left the day Deb was diagnosed with cancer, took all the money out of their bank account and disappeared? Leaving them no choice but to move in with me?”

“Or that when he showed up months later and took the girls that I didn’t raise a hand to stop him?” Logan leaned forward and raised his voice. “Knowing what I do about him, I still let them go. I’m just as low as him. Signs? I’ll tell you what you can do with your signs.”

“Is that true? About the girls?” Thea didn’t back down, but she wasn’t in his face, either—surprising, because most women didn’t let the door hit them on the way out after he unleashed just a hint of his temper.