Читать книгу A Little Bit of Holiday Magic - Melissa McClone, Melissa Mcclone - Страница 11

CHAPTER THREE

THE SMELL OF freshly brewed coffee enticed Grace to open her heavy eyelids. The scent made her mouth water and her tummy grumble. A cup of java and one of Damon’s banana walnut muffins sounded so—

Wait a minute.

Her husband was dead. She was in bed.

Who made the coffee?

She blinked, disoriented and confused.

Light filtered through the window blinds. Not her apartment. Not anyplace she recognized.

Grace bolted upright.

Tall dresser, closet door, closed bedroom door.

Memories of the night before exploded in her mind. Driving in the blizzard. Crashing into the snowbank. Stumbling to Bill Paulson’s front door. She hadn’t been dreaming. Last night had been real.

Grace stretched her sleep-drenched arms and arched her back, like a drowsy cat waking from a much-needed nap.

She’d slept through the night. No bad dreams to wake her.

Amazing, considering she hadn’t had a full night’s sleep since Damon’s death, and odd, since she was sleeping in a strange house in a stranger’s guest room. Maybe this move to Astoria hadn’t been the worst idea since skinny jeans.

Wind shook the window. The storm hadn’t let up.

“We sure aren’t in Columbus anymore, baby.”

Grace moved her hand to the right to touch her son. Her fingers hit the mattress. “Liam?”

The spot next to her was empty.

No Liam.

No Peanut.

Her stomach clenched. Her heartbeat roared in her ears. “Liam.”

No answer.

A million and one thoughts raced through her head, none of them good.

She scrambled out of bed, threw open the door and raced down the hallway. Every muscle bunched.

The sheriff had vouched for Bill Paulson. She’d been taken with the handsome firefighter herself. But Bill wasn’t used to having kids in the house. What if he’d left cleaning solution where Liam could reach it? What if he’d left a door unlocked and Liam had wandered out of the house? What if? What if? What if?

Every nerve ending twitched. Her stomach roiled. She thought she might be physically ill.

It’ll be okay, babe.

If only she could believe that.

“You’d better not do that again, Liam.” Bill’s voice, loud and boisterous, sounded from the kitchen. “I’m warning you.”

Liam wasn’t outside, but the knowledge didn’t loosen the tension in her shoulders. Something was going on.

Grace accelerated her pace, lengthening her stride. She rounded the corner. Skidded to a stop.

On the floor between the dining area and breakfast bar, Bill sat crisscross applesauce with Liam and at least thirty dominoes set up in a row.

“I mean it this time.” Bill tried to sound serious, but his mouth curved upward, a big grin tugging at his lips. “Don’t touch the dominoes!”

Defiance gleamed in Liam’s gaze. Mischief, too. He raised his arm, made a small fist and pushed over the first domino. The rest cascaded one on top of the other.

“You did it again!” Bill placed his hand over his heart and tumbled to the floor as if he’d been knocked over, too. “What are we going to do, Peanut? Liam won’t listen.”

Her son giggled.

The sheer delight in his voice warmed Grace’s insides. Her pulse slowed. Her heart rate returned to normal. A bolt of guilt flashed through her at being so quick to think the worst of Bill Paulson when she’d woken up without Liam next to her.

Liam clapped. “Again. Again.”

“Okay, kid. But only for you.” Bill reset the dominoes, a job that took patience and a steady hand. “One more time.”

Liam spread his fingers. “Ten more.”

Grace wondered how many times they’d played this game. Knowing Liam, at least ten, but Bill didn’t seem to mind.

“Two more,” Bill countered. “I’m getting hungry.”

“Four more. I help cook.”

“You strike a hard bargain, little dude.” He stuck out his arm. “But it’s a deal.”

Liam shook Bill’s hand. “Deal.”

The guys from Damon’s squad, Liam’s honorary uncles, visited when they could, but over the past two years they’d dropped by less and less. Some attended professional development schools. Some went to Special Forces training. Some joined other military units. Some left the army. Their group of friends had gotten smaller, but Liam had never been this animated with them, people he’d known his entire life. He rarely acted this way with her. Only Peanut. Liam’s one and only friend.

Though Bill Paulson could probably qualify as her son’s friend now. The guy had the right touch with Liam.

Jealousy stabbed Grace, an unexpected emotion. One she didn’t like.

So what if her son had a new friend? Bill was nothing more than a nice guy who’d offered them shelter for the night. Something she would expect from a man who rescued people for a living, but she hadn’t imagined a bachelor being so in tune with a three-year-old.

Watching Bill and her son play together made her feel older than twenty-six. Sure, she got on the floor, and didn’t mind a big mess with art projects or mud. But she was always so tired, as if she carried a hundred-pound pack all day, struggling to keep herself balanced and not fall over like one of those dominoes.

Unlike Bill. No tired eyes. No sagging shoulders. Only smiles and an innate strength she felt from the doorway.

She tucked her hair behind her ears. “Good morning.”

Liam jumped to his feet and ran toward her. “Mommy.”

The excitement in his voice warmed Grace’s heart. This was more like it. She scooped him up, eager to have him in her arms. “I woke up, and you weren’t in bed.”

Liam gave her a wet kiss. “I wake up. Peanut, too. You asleep so I get Bill.”

“You mean Mr. Paulson.”

“That’s my dad’s name.” Bill stood. “Liam can call me by my first name.”

“Okay.” She relented only because they would be leaving today. She cuddled her son close. Sniffed. “You smell like cookies.”

Liam pointed to his new best friend. “Big dude.”

Bill’s cheeks reddened. “Liam wanted to wait until you were up to have breakfast, but we were a little hungry.”

“Hungry men eat cookies.” Liam spoke the words with a growly voice, as if mimicking someone.

Bill’s entire face turned red. He cleared his throat. “Cookies have flour, eggs and milk in them. Not that different from pancakes.”

“Cookies are healthy.” Liam bent his arm to show off his biceps. “Make me strong. Like Bill.”

Grace covered her mouth with her hand and bit back laughter. “I can let cookies before breakfast slide this one time.”

Bill’s grin made him look more like one of Liam’s peers than hers. “I appreciate that.”

“It’s the least I can do after being able to sleep in. That never happens.” Or hadn’t since Damon’s final deployment. Grace was reminded of what she and Liam had lost in the mountains of Afghanistan, of what other people took for granted, without giving their good fortune a second thought. “I hope Liam didn’t wake you up too early.”

“I was awake when he knocked on my door. No reason for both of us to be up at the crack of dawn.” Bill studied her with his watchful gaze. “I hope you weren’t worried when he wasn’t in bed.”

She hugged Liam tight, remembering her fear waking up without him. He was all she had. “I had a moment of panic until I heard you in the kitchen.”

Liam pushed away from her. “I winning.”

Grace placed him on the floor. “You always win.”

“And here I thought I had the age advantage,” Bill joked. “Liam’s quite the domino shark. He’s kicking my bu—er, behind.”

She appreciated the way Bill watched his language.

“I shark. Let’s play,” Liam shouted.

“Duty calls.” Bill set up more dominoes. “Breakfast will have to wait a few more minutes.”

“You boys play.” Grace knew having a guy to play with was a big deal for her son. She’d let him have his fun. “I’ll fix breakfast.”

Bill’s gaze met hers. “I don’t mind cooking.”

“Neither do I.”

“You’re a guest.”

“And you’re sweet.” She meant each word. “Consider my cooking breakfast a bonus on top of the postcard I’ll be sending.”

He glanced at a waiting Liam, then back at her.

“Okay.” He returned to setting up dominoes. “It’s better this way. The guys at the station aren’t that keen on my cooking.”

“I find that hard to believe.” He seemed like the kind of man who could do anything, including setting up dominoes while carrying on a conversation. “It’s hard to ruin pancakes.”

“Unless you burn them, turning breakfast into a three-alarm call.”

“You’re a firefighter,” she said. “I’m sure you can take care of any flames.”

“Oh, I know how to put out fires.” He looked up with a mischievous grin. “I also know how to start them.”

His words, flirtatious and suggestive, hung in the air. His gaze remained on her.

Grace’s pulse skittered. Attraction buzzed all the way to her toes. Something passed between them. Something palpable. Something unsettling.

She looked away. Gulped.

“I have everything you need.” He returned to the dominoes. “On the counter.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came from her Mojave-dry throat. “Thanks,” she finally said.

She shuffled to the kitchen in her bare feet, eager to put distance between them.

A few words from a gorgeous guy? A look? And she was incapacitated?

So not good.

Pancake mix sat on the counter, along with measuring cups, a wooden spoon, eggs and a stainless-steel bowl.

What was happening to her? She wasn’t in shock. She didn’t need more sleep. Maybe loneliness had finally sent her over the edge.

Grace measured the flour mixture. Her hand trembled and her vision blurred. She managed to fill the cup and dump the contents into the mixing bowl without making too much of a mess. She added water and eggs. Stirring the batter, she slowly regained her composure.

Dominoes clattered against the hardwood floor.

Liam laughed. “Oops.”

Bill released a drawn-out sigh. “We’ll have to try that again.”

Her son clapped. “Again. Again.”

“I’ve figured out your M.O.,” their host said. “You don’t do anything once.”

Bill impressed Grace. “You pick up quick. Are you sure you aren’t married with kids?” she asked him.

“Nope. Most of my friends are married, but my life is good, and I’m happy. Marriage and kids can wait until those things change. And if they don’t change, then I’ll be happily single.”

“Wait until you meet the right woman.”

“Why settle for one when there are so many out there?”

“So cavalier.”

He shrugged. “Some of my friends have great marriages. Others not so good. My parents have struggled with a long-distance marriage.”

Grace’s life had started the day she fell in love with Damon. He’d wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but being a Ranger kept him away from home and cut his life short. “Being married takes work whether you’re together or not. Damon and I were apart a lot. Loving someone isn’t easy. But we managed. Had a child. Were a family.”

“My parents and I have never been much of a family. My dad is always away because of his job. His traveling is hard on my mom. Makes me wonder if the family thing is for me.”

“If you don’t know, it’s good you’re waiting to settle down.”

“Thanks for saying that. Everyone else has been telling me to grow up because I’m missing out.”

“I never said you weren’t missing out,” Grace teased.

She felt sorry for Bill. He could play all he wanted and be as sweet as could be, but she would never change places with him. At least she had Liam. One day, Bill was going to find himself lonelier than her.

“Cartoons. Cartoons,” Liam chanted. “Peanut wants to watch cartoons.”

Bill looked at her. “Is Liam allowed to watch TV?”

“Yes, but I limit how much.”

“That’s good,” Bill said. “Kids should be outside playing and making snow angels, not sitting on the couch inside.”

“You sure don’t act like a confirmed bachelor who doesn’t want kids.”

“I may not want children of my own, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like other people’s.”

“Fair enough,” she said. “You’re the perfect playmate and babysitter rolled into one. If you ever get tired of being a firefighter, you’d make great manny.”

His brow furrowed. “A what?”

“A male nanny.”

He rose to his feet with the grace of an athlete. “I’ve been known to babysit a time or two. Though I’m the call of last resort.”

That surprised her.

“Come on, little dude.” He picked up Liam and grabbed Peanut. “You get the best seat in the house. My favorite chair.”

Bill carried them into the living room. Thirty seconds later, the sound of cartoons filled the air. Liam squealed.

Her son seemed to like whatever Bill did. Of course, being a playmate or friend was easy. Being a parent and disciplinarian not so much.

Bill joined her in the kitchen. “How are the pancakes coming along?”

“Stirring the batter now.”

“You’ve got a great kid.”

“Thanks. But he has his moments.”

“Don’t we all.”

Grace tried to focus on cooking, but curiosity about the handsome firefighter filled her mind with questions. “You said you don’t plan on settling down anytime soon, but you must, um, date.”

The second the words left her mouth she regretted them. Talk about awkward. But wanting to know more about him had gotten the best of her.

“Yeah, I do,” he answered, as if she were asking if he put butter on his toast. “But I won’t be dating again until December.”

She added chocolate chips to the batter. “You don’t look like the Grinch.”

“I’m not. I love Christmas.”

“Most people like having someone to date for the holidays.”

“I’m not most people.”

She would agree with that. “So why won’t you date until after Christmas?”

“Too many family obligations.”

“Do you have lots of brothers and sisters?”

“Just my mom and dad. I meant a date’s family.”

“You lost me.”

“Nothing worse than being dragged to countless family gatherings, with everyone asking when’s the wedding, even if you only started dating.”

All she’d wanted to do while dating Damon was think and talk about their future. But she knew guys weren’t like that. “That would get old.”

“Didn’t your family do that?”

“No, my family didn’t want me getting serious with Damon. His family felt the same way.”

“Why?”

“They thought we were too young. I was fifteen when we started dating. Nineteen when we wed. My parents couldn’t forgive me for eloping and marrying a man who’d joined the military instead of going to college. They haven’t spoken to me since. Damon’s folks were furious when he enlisted. They’d asked me to talk him out of it. Our getting married only made things worse.”

“You’d think both sets of parents would be proud of what Damon was doing. The sacrifice he and you were making.”

Bill had no idea how horrible both sets of parents had acted. “We made our choices. They made theirs.”

He glanced around the doorway into the living room, then back at Grace. “Have you started dating again?”

Answering should be simple, but the unexpectedly personal question startled her. “A few months ago I went out with another Ranger.”

“It didn’t work out.”

“He proposed. On the third date.”

“Whoa.”

“That’s exactly what I thought.” She poured batter onto the skillet. “Kyle is a sweet guy from Damon’s platoon, but I wasn’t sure if he was serious about marriage or trying to do the right thing by a fallen mate.”

“Sounds like a good man, either way.”

“He is, but...”

“But?”

She remembered Kyle, all earnest and sincere, proposing while Liam napped on the couch. She was all for being practical, but Kyle was a friend, nothing more. “I wasn’t in love with him. We went on a few more dates, then it was time for him to deploy and...”

“Hard to go through that again.”

“I wasn’t going through it again.” She hadn’t been ready to marry another hero. She didn’t want to love a man and give her all, but not be his priority.

God. Country. Army. Family.

That was how Damon’s priorities fell. The army and serving a greater good had always come before her and Liam. She’d known where she’d fallen on the list going into the marriage, had accepted her place, respected it, because she was young, and her love for Damon was that strong.

But she was not about to accept being second, third or fourth again. Not for any man.

Grace and Liam deserved to be the number one priority. She would never settle for anything less.