Читать книгу New Arrivals: Surprise Baby for Him: The Cattleman's Adopted Family / The Soldier's Homecoming / Marriage for Baby - Melissa McClone - Страница 10

SETH stood on the back veranda, staring out into the rain without really seeing it. Instead, he kept seeing a lovely young woman and her cute little daughter, so happy together, and the image gnawed at a private pain he’d tried very hard to keep buried.

With an angry groan he strode to the far end of the veranda, and stared out into the black, rain-lashed night, willing his reckless thoughts to the four winds.

He’d invited this woman and her child into his home, and already today, during a simple walk down a bush track, he’d let down his guard. But he knew that he mustn’t allow a single mother’s warm brown eyes and her daughter’s appealing ways to slip under his defences.

It seemed there was no other man in the picture for Amy and Bella, but so what? Seth had given up all thoughts of domestic happiness, and he’d done so with the fierce determination of a smoker, or a gambler giving up an addiction.

Women, he’d learned after too many mistakes, were a health hazard. Families looked cosy and attractive when viewed from the outside, but he knew from bitter firsthand experience that the inside story could be something else entirely.

Closing his eyes, Seth saw his own mother—slim, elegant and beautiful, her sleek, dark hair framing her face like a satin cap. He remembered her tinkling laugh and the way she’d smelled of delicate flowers. Remembered her infrequent hugs.

He remembered, too, the many evenings he’d stood, nose pressed against the glass, watching her from his bedroom window as she stepped into a limousine. She’d always looked remote, like a goddess, in a glamorous red evening gown, in sequins, or gold lamé—a glittering evening bag in one hand, cigarette in the other.

Mostly, he remembered the day she’d left him for good.

The departure of females had become a pattern in Seth’s life.

He was done with relationships.

This evening, he had to remember to be very careful when he talked to Amy Ross. There were important things about Rachel Tyler that he needed to know—an awkward mystery that he needed to clarify—but he couldn’t allow himself to be sidetracked by any further discussion of Amy’s life as a single mother. If she’d been abandoned by a gold-plated jerk and left to struggle with a baby on her own, Seth didn’t want to know about it.

He didn’t want to feel pity for her and her daughter. And he didn’t want to feel concern. Or longing.

He simply needed to get to the truth.

When Amy heard the soft tap on her door she felt a hot rush of adrenaline. Anxiously, she snatched a glance at her reflection and hoped she’d achieved a small improvement by changing into a fresh T-shirt and jeans.

Her hand was pleasingly steady as she reached for the door knob, but as soon as she saw Seth, tall and dark and filling her doorway, her steadiness deserted her.

She stepped outside quickly, and through the open doorway he sent a silent glance to the bed where Bella slept.

‘Yes, she’s out to it,’ Amy said quietly and she let out a huff of breath, hoping it would settle her nerves.

‘Would you like coffee?’ he asked. ‘Or something stronger?’

‘Not especially,’ she said, wanting a clear head, although she suspected she would benefit from a stiff drink right now.

He gave a curt nod towards the back veranda. ‘Perhaps we should go out there, if it’s not too wet. We shouldn’t disturb Bella, but you’ll still be able to hear her if she cries.’

‘All right.’

Leaving a single bed lamp on, she closed the door softly and followed him, and she felt nervous, as if she were going to a job interview she hadn’t prepared for.

On the veranda, a wall light cast a soft glow over a trio of potted plants and two deeply cushioned cane chairs beside a wicker table.

Amy took a seat and she peered out at the curtain of rain, which was falling more softly now. She wondered what Seth wanted to ‘chat’ about. Avoiding that thought, she asked, ‘How long will this rain last?’

‘Hard to say.’ He shrugged. ‘In some wet seasons it rains non-stop for weeks.’

‘That sounds depressing.’

‘It can be. Most of us try to get away for at least part of the wet.’

‘I’ve read about roads being cut off by floods.’

‘That’s why I have a plane,’ Seth said in a dry, matter-of-fact tone.

A plane? Before Amy could register her astonishment, he said, ‘So you’ve never been in the tropics before?’

‘No, never.’

‘You’re not seeing it at its best. You should have come in winter.’

‘But that would have been too late to help Rachel’s book launch.’

‘Ah, yes.’ Seth looked out to the black and silent night, with only his profile showing to Amy. ‘I was hoping we could talk about Rachel’s book.’

Goosebumps broke out on Amy’s arms. At least Seth hadn’t guessed about Bella, but she wasn’t sure if she was relieved or alarmed. What else could she tell him about the book?

If he realised that she’d come all this way, and imposed on his hospitality, on the pretext of promoting a book she knew next to nothing about, he would be justified in thinking she was crazy, and bad mannered.

She studied the dark lines of his brow and his nose and the angular jut of his jaw, but they gave her no clue to his thoughts.

He spoke without looking at her. ‘You said you were Rachel Tyler’s best friend.’

‘Yes, I did, because it’s true.’

‘You’ve known her since you were fifteen.’

‘Yes.’

‘You’ve gossiped together.’

‘I wouldn’t call it gossip.’ Amy sounded more prudish than she’d meant to. ‘But sure, we talked a lot.’

‘And yet she never talked to you about her book?’

‘Not in any kind of detail.’ Amy watched a moth dance into the pool of light. ‘I—I think Rachel was superstitious. The book was terribly important to her, and I think she might have been afraid that it wouldn’t be a success if she talked too much about it.’

‘Did she tell you about her time at Serenity?’

‘Very little,’ Amy admitted with a sigh. Rachel had been totally absorbed by the aftermath of her trip north—her pregnancy and the birth of her baby.

‘But she told you about me,’ Seth said coldly. ‘You knew how to find me.’

‘Yes.’

Feeling hopelessly cornered, Amy closed her eyes. She hadn’t wanted to tell Seth the whole story tonight. She’d wanted to wait till she’d been refreshed by a good night’s sleep. She’d wanted to feel calm and composed, able to take her time and to choose her words carefully.

More importantly, she’d wanted to retain the upper hand in this, but Seth was pushing her, giving her no choice. She had to speak now. If he dragged the truth out of her, she would lose every ounce of credibility in his eyes.

And that mattered perhaps more than it should.

As she sat there, eyes closed, gathering courage, she heard the flutter of the moth’s wings against the light globe and the sound of Seth’s chair scraping on the wooden veranda boards. Her eyes flew open.

Seth was standing directly in front of her, towering over her. ‘There’s something you’re not telling me, Amy.’

His voice was hard and as cutting as a sabre. He was trying to intimidate her, which was one thing Amy wouldn’t tolerate. She’d learned in her own backyard to stand up to her brothers.

Bravely, she glared up at him. ‘I don’t like your tone.’

For a moment, he looked taken aback. ‘I’m being very civil.’

He ran tense fingers through his hair, and time crawled as he stood there staring at her, while she stared back at him.

Eventually, his expression relaxed, and the next time he spoke his voice held no menace. ‘Give me a break, Amy. I’m not used to playing these games. All I want is the truth. Why did you come here?’

‘Because I need to talk to you.’ Her eyes dropped to the moth, which now lay burned and dying on the bare floorboards. ‘I have something very important to tell you.’

Even though Seth hadn’t moved, she sensed the tension run through him, like a fault line in a wall of rock. She knew his mind was working at a million miles a minute and any second now he would put two and two together.

‘If we’re going to have this conversation, Seth, could you please sit down?’

He looked surprised, but to her relief he relented and resumed his seat, one long, jeans-clad leg crossed over the other, hands plunged deep in his pockets.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’

‘I’m sorry, too,’ Amy admitted. ‘I came here to do the right thing, but I’ve made rather a mess of it.’

Seth shot her a sharp glance, and she knew he was waiting for her to explain.

So this was it. The moment she’d feared.

‘I’m not Bella’s mother,’ she said.

It was ages before he spoke, and in the stillness the rain continued to fall, needle-fine and shiny and silent.

‘Is she Rachel’s child?’ he asked at last.

‘Yes.’

Yes…

The word hung in the air, quivering like the vibrations of a tuning fork.

Amy wished she could feel relieved now that it was out, but she was too shocked by Seth’s reaction.

Even in the subdued light, she could see the colour drain from his face. Then, silently, he slumped forward, elbows propped on his knees as he covered his face with his hands.

Shocked, she sat completely still, two fingers pressed against her lips, wishing she could recall the single word that had revealed so much.

Too much?

Yes. One little syllable had told him everything. There was no need to add that Bella was his daughter.

The fact that Amy had brought Bella all this way pointed to it, and a few simple calculations confirmed the facts. Seth only had to count back to know that Bella’s conception had occurred during the time Rachel had spent at Serenity.

With him.

And, clearly, it was the worst possible news.

A cool breeze whipped onto the veranda, spraying fine rain over them.

Amy shivered and rubbed at her arms. ‘Seth,’ she said gently. ‘I’m sorry. I know this is a shock.’

He didn’t respond at first, then slowly he lowered his hands and let them hang loosely between his knees. He didn’t look at her and he didn’t speak, but Amy saw the movement of his throat as he swallowed.

‘I came here, because I—I thought you should know,’ she said. ‘I thought it was important. Not because I want money from you, but because—well, because Bella’s such a sweetheart.’

The thin, cold pricks of rain continued as she waited for a response from him. When it didn’t come, she went on, desperate now to make her point. ‘I think Bella’s the cutest thing on two legs, you see. And, to me, it seemed unfair that you didn’t know about her.’

At last Seth turned to her and she was shocked by the banked despair she saw in his eyes and in the deep lines that bracketed his mouth.

His eyes were bleak, but to her surprise he almost smiled. ‘Don’t feel bad. You’ve done the right thing.’

It was reassuring to hear this, but she wished he looked happier.

‘I’m not planning to offload Bella,’ she felt compelled to explain. ‘You don’t have to worry about that, Seth. I’m totally prepared to keep her with me and to take care of her.’

‘I’m sure that’s best,’ he said quietly.

She let out her breath on a sigh. This was awful, so different from how she’d imagined everything before she’d set out on this journey. She’d anticipated the possibility of fierce anger, or disdainful disbelief. She’d been worried that Seth might try to take Bella away from her, but the last thing she’d expected was this shocked and horrified acceptance.

When his gaze met hers again, his eyes warmed just a little. ‘So what’s your relationship to Bella? Are you her guardian?’

Amy nodded. ‘Rachel had no other family.’

‘Really? No one at all?’

Amy was surprised he knew so little. ‘She was an only child,’ she told him. ‘Her father has passed away, and her mother’s in an aged care facility, and she’s not at all well. Her parents were in their fifties when she was born. Apparently, they’d never expected to have a child, and Rachel was a huge surprise.’

After a bit, he said quietly, ‘That might explain why Rachel was…different.’

‘She was different, wasn’t she?’ Amy’s mouth twisted in a wistful smile as she remembered her friend. ‘She was brilliant, a ton of fun, but—yes—different.’

Seth nodded and looked away quickly, and she wondered if he’d been deeply in love with Rachel. The thought caused an unhappy pang.

‘You’re doing a great job with Bella,’ he said.

‘It’s no hardship. I love her.’

His piercing blue gaze swung back to study her for a heart-stopping stretch of time, and then he rose abruptly.

‘Thank you,’ he said simply, and she knew their conversation was over.

They went back inside the house and Amy shivered as breeze from a ceiling fan chilled her damp skin. She felt miserable as she stood outside her bedroom door.

‘Goodnight,’ Seth said. ‘I hope you’ll be comfortable.’

‘I’m sure I will.’ Then she remembered. ‘Just a minute, Seth. I have something you might like to see.’ She went into the room and fetched a photo album that she’d brought with her, especially for him. As she gave it to him his hands brushed hers and her breath caught as she felt the heat of his skin.

‘Thanks,’ he murmured, gripping the album tightly.

The house was silent, listening.

He seemed to remember his manners as a host. ‘Are you sure you wouldn’t like something to drink before you turn in?’

‘Could I make myself a cup of tea?’

‘I can get it for you.’

‘No, it’s OK, honestly. I can find my way around the kitchen.’

‘Be my guest,’ he said, gesturing down the hallway to the kitchen, and with a curt nod he left her.

Amy’s sense of anticlimax was overwhelming, and a warm shower and a brisk rub down with a luxuriously thick bath towel didn’t help her to feel any better. Standing in her nightgown between the twin beds, she looked down at Bella, sound asleep and blameless, hugging her plush pink pig, her mouth slightly ajar as she slept.

She felt an urge to climb into the bed and to cuddle the little girl close, seeking comfort and reassurance from her small, warm weight in her arms.

Have I done the right thing, baby?

She padded on bare feet down the darkened hall to the kitchen and found an electric jug and the makings for tea. On her way back, mug in hand, she saw light coming from beneath a door just across the hallway.

Was it Seth’s room?

The possibility made her skin flush hot.

Fool.

In her room, she piled up her pillows and sat in bed in a small pool of lamplight, nursing a mug of hot, sweet tea.

She thought about Rachel, and was swamped by a tidal wave of grief. If only she hadn’t invited Rachel to the launch party. For the trillionth time, she wished that she could go back into the past and change that night. Rachel had always been so full of life, so brimming with can-do confidence and charisma. She shouldn’t be dead.

Their friendship had been so strong, an attraction of opposites. Rachel was brilliant and wild and she’d always claimed that Amy was calming and steadying.

‘Amy’s my anchor,’ she used to tell people.

Guys were forever falling in love with Rachel—so much so that she should have had a warning light, like a lighthouse. Amy’s brother, Ryan, had been smitten, but he’d come to his senses eventually and married his sensible, sweet Jane instead.

For her part, Rachel had loved the attention of men, always had a boyfriend on tap, but somehow she’d managed to stay immune, never really falling in love.

Until her trip north.

‘You should have been there, Ames,’ she’d said, on that night she’d finally opened up. ‘I needed you there, to keep me on the ground. I lost my head completely.’

Swiping at tears, Amy thought about Seth. She wondered if he was looking at the photo album now. Would he sleep tonight? Or was he totally calm again?

Was he thinking about Rachel? About Bella?

He’d looked so terrible tonight when she’d told him her news, and the memory of the deep lines of pain etched in his face sent a throbbing ache to the middle of her chest.

It was so silly to care so much about a man she’d only just met, but she couldn’t help it. There was something about Seth Reardon that got to her—something elemental and deep. Whether he was happy or sad, whenever she was near him, she felt in danger of drowning.

She’d known, from the moment she first saw him—gosh, had it only been this morning?—that he wasn’t a man who would take fatherhood lightly. Chances were, Seth wouldn’t take any relationship lightly—which meant there was a distinct possibility that he’d really, really loved Rachel.

Without warning, Amy’s tears began to fall in earnest, and she buried her face in the pillow so she wouldn’t wake Bella.

The photo album lay abandoned on the nightstand.

Seth had taken a look at it, leafing quickly through the pages, catching glimpses of Bella as a tiny newborn, and later, as a gummy, smiling infant…later still, as a sturdy toddler, learning to walk…

He’d seen pictures of Rachel looking surprisingly maternal, and healthy and happy. There’d even been a shot of Amy, hovering somewhere in the background behind a cake with pink icing and two striped candles. But he’d had to set the book aside. It was too hard to look at these happy snaps.

Amy had offered them to him in all innocence, but she had no idea of the size and force of the bombshell she’d dropped this evening.

She thought he’d fathered Rachel Tyler’s baby.

He’d never dreamed that Rachel was pregnant when she left Serenity, but, hell, in many ways everything would be a whole lot easier if he were the little girl’s father. He would face up to the responsibility, and he could have worked something out with Amy—a way to share custody of Bella, perhaps. Truth be told, the thought of spending more time with Amy was enticing.

But it was a fantasy.

He wasn’t Bella’s father. He hadn’t slept with Rachel.

Not once.

Never.

The real story was something else entirely, and it smothered him with a mountain of guilt and heartache.

While Rachel had flirted openly with him almost as soon as she’d arrived at Serenity, Seth had sensed she could spell trouble and he’d given her the brush-off, so she’d set her sights…elsewhere…

With tragic consequences.

Those consequences were the cross Seth had to bear, but they were too painful to share this evening with a warm-hearted, soft-eyed girl like Amy.

With a harsh groan, he launched to his feet and began to prowl.

This whole business was more complicated than Amy could possibly have imagined and he needed time—days, weeks, years—to work out the best way to explain it to her.

Damn it, he didn’t want to burden her with the truth. Not so soon. She’d been such a loyal friend to Rachel. She’d put her career on hold and she’d devoted herself to Bella, and she’d come all this way, to do something Rachel should have done three years ago.

Reaching for the album, Seth looked again at the photo of Amy, smiling in the background. Her dark eyes were so warm and pretty, and just looking at her made him want to smile.

She was as generous and open-hearted as his uncle had been when he’d taken Seth in after his father died, giving him a home, an education, a sense of belonging. Family.

Seth owed so much to his father’s younger and much admired brother, after whom he’d been named.

But now…damn it…what was the right thing to do?

He couldn’t turn his back on this little girl. How had Amy described her? Cutest thing on two legs.

Too true.

Thing was, it would be easy to wash his hands of this, to tell Amy she was mistaken, that he wasn’t the father. Send her packing.

Except—he felt such a weight of responsibility…and it was all so painful…and even though Amy was warm and compassionate, he didn’t feel ready to talk to a woman he’d just met about what had happened…

He needed time.

‘Wake up, Amy! Wake up!’

Amy felt small fingers trying to prise her eyelids apart.

‘It’s too early,’ she moaned, refusing to open her eyes.

She’d had a dreadful night, endlessly tossing and turning, and she felt as if she’d fallen into a deep sleep only five minutes ago. But a sudden knock at the door brought her smartly awake.

‘Man!’ Bella squealed, gleefully slipping from the bed. ‘Man at the door!’

With a groan, Amy pushed her bedclothes aside and swung her feet to the floor. She had no idea of the time, but daylight was streaming through the shutters.

Bella was banging on the door. ‘Hello, man!’

‘His name’s Seth,’ Amy grumbled. She couldn’t remember where she’d left her dressing gown and she grabbed up a silk wrap to throw around her shoulders to cover her nightgown. ‘Bella, you can’t keep calling him man. Say Seth.’

‘Sef.’

‘That’s better.’ Amy grimaced at her reflection. She looked a fright—hair everywhere, dark circles under her eyes.

There was another knock.

‘Hello, Sef man,’ Bella called through the door.

With one hand clasping the wrap modestly over her front, Amy ran frantic fingers through her hair, but she knew it wouldn’t improve her appearance. She opened the door.

Seth, freshly showered and shaved, was rather too much at such an early hour, but she didn’t have time to go weak at the knees. She was distracted by Bella’s shriek of joy.

‘Hello, Sef!’ the little girl shouted, and she beamed a gorgeous smile up at him, holding her arms up to be lifted.

For a moment, Amy thought he might resist the appeal of those little outstretched hands, but after only the briefest hesitation he bent down and scooped Bella high.

‘How are you this morning, possum?’

Giggling, Bella planted a wet kiss on his cheek and hugged him hard. Amy choked back her surprise. When had this pair become such firm friends?

She watched Seth’s ears redden, but with the typical fickleness of a two-year-old the little girl was soon wriggling to be set down again.

Seth’s smile was shy as he took in Amy’s dishevelled appearance. ‘I see I’m too early for you.’

‘I forgot you cattlemen get up at the crack of dawn.’

His eyes shimmered with mild amusement as he took in her nightgown and her efforts at modesty. He glanced at his wristwatch.

‘What’s the time?’ she asked.

‘Seven-forty.’

‘Oh…well…not exactly dawn, then.’

‘Breakfast’s at eight. Is that too early?’

‘No, that’s fine, thank you.’

She dropped her gaze, unsure what to say now. She wondered if Seth had adjusted to the news that he was Bella’s father. Even though he looked calm enough, he could be angry that she’d come to Serenity under false pretences. Last night she’d lain awake worrying and imagining that he’d send her packing this morning, straight after breakfast.

‘It’s stopped raining,’ Seth said. ‘So you might have an opportunity to take some photos after all.’

‘Really? That’s great.’ She felt her heart skip in relief. So, not straight after breakfast, at least.

Behind her, Bella began bouncing on her bed, treating it like a trampoline.

Amy whirled around. ‘Bella, stop that, or you’ll fall.’ She reached out to catch the little girl’s hand.

‘I was thinking it would be good if you could stay on for a bit longer than we’d planned,’ Seth said, ignoring the distraction.

Amy blinked at him from beneath tumbled hair.

‘You came here because you wanted me to get to know Bella,’ he said. ‘So it doesn’t really make sense that you should rush away too soon.’

‘I—I—’ Catching giggling Bella in midjump, Amy held her close to keep her still. ‘I’d have to change my flights.’

‘I’m sure we could arrange that.’

She rubbed at her forehead, trying to clear her sleep-fuzzed brain. ‘You were so upset last night. Are you sure you want us to stay?’

‘I’ve had time to think, to get used to everything. I’d like the chance to get to know Bella. I’d like her—both of you—to enjoy Serenity.’

‘Will your uncle mind?’

Seth’s face seemed to cave in. Shadows darkened his eyes and his throat worked. ‘My uncle’s not here. He died a couple of years ago.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ she said, but it was hard to feel the appropriate depth of sympathy when she hadn’t known his uncle, especially when her stomach was fluttering madly at the possibility of staying on, alone with Seth.

Amy couldn’t think why she was hesitating. This invitation was exactly what she’d come north to achieve. Twenty-four hours ago, time on Serenity so that Bella could get to know her father had been her primary goal. Her dream.

Twenty-four hours ago, she hadn’t met Seth Reardon. She hadn’t developed a silly, useless and problematic crush that would only get worse if she spent more time with him. But there were other problems, too. There was every chance that Seth would fall for sweet Bella as swiftly and certainly as she had fallen. How would she cope if Seth wanted to keep Bella?

Part of Amy wanted very much to whisk the little girl safely back to Melbourne and to resume her life. She couldn’t give her little girl up.

She would have to make it clear that Bella couldn’t stay at Serenity permanently. That had never been her plan.

Amy knew how Rachel had felt about remote Cape York, and yesterday she’d seen for herself how far Seth’s home was from anywhere else. It was no place for a single dad to try to raise a sociable toddler.

‘Look, I’ll give you time to think about it,’ Seth said, backing down the hall. ‘We can talk about it at breakfast.’

‘No, it’s OK.’ Amy sent him an apologetic smile. ‘It’s a good idea and we’d love to stay. Thank you.’

‘Terrific.’ Seth smiled in a way that put creases in the suntanned skin around his bright blue eyes. ‘We’ll have breakfast on the front veranda at a little after eight. You just have to turn left at the end of the hallway.’

‘OK. Thanks.’

It was only after Seth had gone that Amy realised her wrap had fallen during their conversation—while she was trying to catch the bouncing Bella, no doubt. She’d been standing here, talking to Seth in her fine cotton nightgown, exposed in all its transparent glory.

A glance in the mirror showed her just how much of her Seth had seen, and a blushing river of heat flooded her.

At least he’d been too polite to stare at her breasts.

She wished she could take more comfort from that.