Читать книгу Seduced - Metsy Hingle - Страница 8

Amanda glanced at the small, crystal clock sitting on her desk. Four-twenty. The knot in her stomach tightened. Only ten more minutes before Michael arrived.

Unable to concentrate, she closed the file folder she had been studying and, walking across the room, she gazed out the window to the school playground at the dozen or so children who had remained for after-school care.

Hearing a squeal of laughter, Amanda smiled as she spotted Summer—her long, dark braids flying behind her while she raced across the yard engaged in a game of tag.

She wasn’t at all the same child she had been when they had started working together ten weeks ago, Amanda thought. Sad and withdrawn, it had been so heartening to gain the little girl’s trust, to help her sort through her confusion and pain at her mother’s death. Of course, Michael’s love and attention had made her job easier by far.

Michael.

Amanda cursed herself for thinking of him again. It was pointless to think about him.

Instead she focused on Summer’s smiling face, and her heartstrings tugged once more. She was going to miss the child. But there was nothing she could do. And considering the outcome of her last encounter with Michael, perhaps it was for the best. She certainly couldn’t risk another evening like the previous Friday’s.

Amanda touched her lips, recalling all too vividly how that evening had ended. Longing, hot and demanding, flickered through her as she remembered the feel of Michael’s lips, the warmth of his breath, the hardness of his body against her own. Squeezing her eyes shut, she fought back a groan as she recalled her own wanton response.

“Amanda?”

She tensed at the sound of Michael’s voice. She wasn’t ready to face him—not yet, not when the memory of his kiss was so fresh.

“The secretary did say four-thirty, didn’t she?”

Attempting to school her expression, Amanda turned around slowly. “Yes. Please, come in.”

When he closed the door and stepped inside, the room seemed somehow smaller. “You can sit down, if you’d like.” She gestured toward the chair across from her desk.

He cut across the room in swift, easy strides, stopping in front of her. “I tried to reach you all weekend,” he said softly, his eyes searching hers.

“I know. I got your messages.” All five messages. And because the temptation to pick up the telephone and talk to him had been so strong, she had deliberately spent her weekend working in the garden and stalking the city’s shopping centers. She’d tried on clothes she neither needed nor wanted only to return home empty-handed and exhausted. When the calls had persisted, she had taken herself off to a movie.

“Why didn’t you return my calls?”

Amanda met his questioning gaze. “I thought it best not to.”

“Better for whom?” he asked, frowning.

“For me. And possibly for you, too.”

“You’re wrong,” he said, a slight edge in his voice. “On both counts. There’s something good between us, Amanda, and you know it. What are you so afraid of?”

You, she wanted to shout. The things you make me feel, the things you make me want. The risks you make me want to take.

Instead she simply said, “I told you before, my reasons for not going out with you are personal. I have no desire to explain those reasons to you and I doubt that you’d understand them even if I did. The problem is me, Michael—not you. But, believe me, I’m serious when I tell you you’re wasting your time. There can’t ever be anything between us.”

“What about last Friday?” he demanded. “Are you going to tell me it didn’t mean anything to you? That it was nothing?”

“Last Friday was very special.” For a few short hours she had been able to put the past and its painful scars behind her. But despite the explosive chemistry and her growing feelings for him, Michael was still a man with a child—a child very much in need of a mother. She wouldn’t take a chance on being used again.

“I had a lovely time, but it was still a mistake. A relationship with you would mean too many complications and I don’t want or need any more complications in my life. Please accept that.”

“I can’t.” His jaw clenched; a muscle ticked angrily in his cheek. “And I’m not going to let you accept it, either. I won’t let you throw us away, Amanda.”

Amanda tipped up her chin. “You don’t have a choice. I have no intention of going out with you again and now that Summer’s no longer in therapy, there’s no reason for us to see each other at all.”

“But that’s where you’re wrong.” His lips smoothed into a slow, knowing smile. “We will be seeing each other. You see, I’m giving you the two months with Summer that you asked for. I’m not taking her out of your program. In fact, I’ve already told her she can stay. So, you and I will be seeing each other—a lot—at least for the next couple of months.”

“But I thought...” Surprised and unsettled by his change in attitude, Amanda turned away. “When Summer didn’t show up for her appointment yesterday, I assumed you’d withdrawn her from the program.”

“Then you assumed wrong.”

She had been so sure she wouldn’t have to see him again after today. Now she would be faced with not only seeing him but with dealing with the memories and desires he sparked in her.

“Don’t you remember me telling you last week that Summer had a dental appointment and wouldn’t be able to come on Monday?”

Vaguely, Amanda recalled the words, but at the time she’d been so disturbed by the way he’d been looking at her that she had failed to write it down.

“Did you really think I’d just pull her out of the program without telling you first? Especially after you tried so hard to convince me to let her stay?” His voice held a wealth of disappointment.

That was exactly what she had thought. And it had made her decision not to see him again easier somehow.

“You don’t have to bother answering that. It’s obvious what you thought.” He took a deep breath and released it. “For the record, you were right. Summer does need help. Help that I can’t give her. I was a fool to even consider pulling her out of the program. She needs you, Amanda. I need you. Will you help me?”

She wanted to refuse him.

She couldn’t, not when he was looking at her with such warmth in his eyes.

“All right,” Amanda answered, her voice thick. “I’ll keep working with Summer until the end of the school term—but on one condition. We keep our relationship strictly professional. Agreed?”

When he didn’t respond, Amanda gave him a stern look that she usually reserved for the children. “I want your promise, Michael.”

He shook his head. “I’m afraid I can’t give it to you. If I did, I’d only end up breaking it. And I make it a point never to go back on my word.”

Feeling trapped, Amanda walked back to the window and stared out at the playground. She was committed to Summer and didn’t want to abandon her now. She felt a responsibility to the little girl. But what about herself? Was she strong enough to resist the emotional threat Michael represented?

She sensed him come up behind her, her body suddenly alert at his nearness.

“Amanda?” He touched her shoulder and turned her to face him.

He was so close, she could smell the woodsy scent of his cologne, see the sprinkling of gray at his temples.

“Why are you doing this to us?” His eyes held hers. “Is it because of the things you’ve heard about me? About my family?”

Amanda flushed. “Of course not.”

“Then why won’t you even give us a chance?”

“Amanda?” A quick, one-two tap followed at the door. “Do you still have the fi—” Sister Mary Grace stopped and stared from the doorway. She looked from Amanda to Michael and back again. “Excuse me,” she said, and started to retreat from the room.

“Gra—Sister, wait.” Quickly, Amanda pulled away and moved past Michael. Embarrassed, she could have cringed at the sight they must have made. What must Gracie be thinking after practically catching her in Michael’s arms? “Did you want to see me about something?” she asked, trying to muster as much dignity as she could under the circumstances.

“Nothing that can’t wait until later. I didn’t realize you had someone with you.” Turning toward Michael, she said, “Forgive me for interrupting. You two go ahead and finish your, um, discussion. I can speak to Amanda later.”

“No!” Amanda cried out as Sister Mary Grace started to leave. She swallowed and then continued more calmly, “Mr. Grayson and I are finished. He was just leaving.”

Sister Mary Grace arched one brow; the look she gave Amanda left her with little doubt that the nun didn’t believe her.

“It’s okay, Sister.” Michael moved toward the door. “Amanda’s right. We are finished—for now.”

Amanda caught the warning in his voice, but refused to meet his gaze.

“Sister.” He inclined his head toward the nun, then turned to Amanda. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Amanda repeated, and could have kicked herself at the anxious sound of her voice.

“After Summer’s appointment,” he informed her. “She is still scheduled for Wednesday, isn’t she?”

“Yes. Yes, of course.”

“See you then.”

Once Michael had closed the door, Amanda breathed a sigh of relief. Returning to her desk, she sat down and directed her attention back to her friend. “Now, what was it you needed?” she asked, forcing a lightness she didn’t feel.

“What was that all about?” Sister Mary Grace asked as she claimed the chair in front of Amanda’s desk.

Ignorning the bright gleam in her friend’s eyes, Amanda returned evenly, “Michael came by to tell me he’s decided to allow Summer to remain in the therapy program.”

“Why, that’s excellent news. I mean, I know he was having some doubts about the program’s effectiveness. I’m glad to see you were able to bring him around.”

Sister Mary Grace adjusted the wire-rimmed spectacles on her nose, then met Amanda’s eyes. “But something tells me his niece isn’t the only reason Michael Grayson came to see you.”

Amanda shot her friend a stony look.

The tiny nun grinned. “Come on, Mandy. The man hasn’t exactly made his interest in you a secret. And I kind of got the impression that you liked him, too.”

“Gracie.” Amanda made no attempt to hide her displeasure.

“I know, I know. I shouldn’t interfere, but you’re my friend. I’m only trying to help.”

“How? By encouraging him? Telling him personal things about me? How could you do that?”

Sister Mary Grace’s smile faded. Her rosy cheeks paled slightly. “I didn’t mean any harm.”

At the nun’s stricken expression, Amanda immediately regretted her flare of temper. “I know you didn’t, and I’m sorry for biting your head off. But don’t you see? Encouraging him was the worst thing you could do.”

“Why? What’s wrong with a nice, young man showing an interest in you?”

“Everything—if that man’s Michael Grayson. You of all people should know I could never become involved with a man like him.”

Sister Mary Grace frowned. “What do you mean, ‘a man like him’? From everything I’ve seen, and from what you’ve told me yourself, he’s a fine, honorable man.”

“He is. But for someone else. Not me.”

“Any why not you?” Sister Grace asked in that impervious tone that Amanda had always found so frustrating.

“Because he has a child.”

Sister Mary Grace narrowed her eyes. She folded her arms across her chest. “As far as I know, Michael Grayson doesn’t have any children,” she said in that no-nonsense voice of hers. “In fact, according to the information he gave the school when he registered Summer, he’s never even been married.”

“Quit fencing, Gracie. You know perfectly well what I mean. He has Summer.”

“So? She’s his niece.”

“Yes, but for all intents and purposes, she’s his child. He’s the one raising her.”

“And doing a fine job of it, too. So, what’s the problem?”

Frustrated, Amanda glared at her friend. “You know what the problem is. He has a seven-year-old child who needs a mother. You saw what happened in Mrs. Green’s class last week when they started talking about the Mother’s Day project. The poor thing was completely distraught.”

“Yes, I saw. And I also saw how much you care about that little girl. That was a wonderful thing you did, agreeing to go to the Mother Daughter Luncheon with her next month.”

“Perhaps I shouldn’t have.” It had been a foolish thing to do, given her own history. But then, it had broken her heart to see Summer so despondent.

Sister Mary Grace patted her hand. “Of course, you should have.”

“I’ve been down this road before, Gracie. I know where it leads and all the traps it can hold. I don’t want to be used again. And I’m not going to put myself in a position where I can be used again—by Michael Grayson or anyone else.”

Sister Mary Grace rose. She came around the desk and put her arms around Amanda’s shoulders. “Mandy, Mandy,” she soothed. “When are you going to stop punishing yourself for someone else’s mistakes?”

“I’m not. I’m protecting myself.”

“That’s a lot of malarkey and you know it. You don’t give yourself or anyone else a chance. You set up obstacles the minute any man shows an interest in you.”

“That’s not true.”

Sister Mary Grace pulled back and looked at Amanda. “Isn’t it?”

Was Gracie right? Was she setting up obstacles? True, Summer did chatter endlessly about getting a new mother someday; but the little girl spoke almost just as often about finding some imaginary grandmother, as well.

On the other hand, Michael had been decidedly quiet on both subjects—even when she had expressed her concern about Summer’s preoccupation with them. In fact, Michael had given no indication that he even thought he needed a wife—let alone was looking for one.

But then, neither had Adam—at least not until after he had courted her, had played to her foolish dreams, had made her believe he loved her, made her fall in love with him. And when it had been too late, when she had married him and moved into his home, she had found out the truth.

Sister Mary Grace’s expression softened. “Hasn’t it ever occurred to you that Michael’s interest in you could be motivated by nothing more than the simple fact that he likes you? You’re a lovely woman, Amanda. Isn’t it just possible, he finds you attractive?”

Remembering the heat in his eyes, the hunger of his kiss, Amanda didn’t doubt that Michael found her attractive. She thought of the way his body had hardened at her response. Not even Adam, master actor that he was, had made her feel so desired, so much like a woman. But then, she had been naive and trusting.

She wasn’t anymore.

“Why not give him the benefit of the doubt? What have you got to lose?”

Everything. Her heart, what was left of her pride. “I can’t, Gracie. There are too many risks involved. And I’m through taking risks.”

“Not even for love?”

“Especially not for love. The price is too high.” And one she was unwilling to pay.

* * *

Propping the telephone between his shoulder and ear, Michael kicked the door to his bedroom shut and listened to the worried voice of his attorney, Dave Jennings.

“Come on, Mike, be reasonable. Let me set up a meeting with old lady Winthrop and her attorney and try to work something out.”

“There’s nothing to work out. I told you, Martha Winthrop gave up any rights she might have had when that son of hers turned his back on my sister. If it hadn’t been for her, Sara never would have run away in the first place. She wouldn’t have been on that damn mountain, wouldn’t have...” His voice broke; he choked back the pain thoughts of his sister’s death caused and hardened his resolve. “I’ll never