Читать книгу STILL STANDING - M.G. Crisci - Страница 8

“When I saw you, I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.”

― Arrigo Boito

1997…

Fake college ID’s and some partying led to a bloody foot and prince charming coming to the rescue.

I had two passions as a high school teenager; pass my school GCSE (a qualification taken by school students aged 14–16, at a level below A level) exams and continue to rock socially with sleepovers at my friend Lily’s house and our bowling nights.

Lily’s mum would drop us at the bowling alley, dressed in high heels, lips smeared with Rimmel Heather Shimmer glossy lipstick, and oozing CK One perfume, which reeked of orange, mandarin, papaya, bergamot, lemon, jasmine, nutmeg, and rose.

As soon as Lily’s mum was out of sight, we would head for our favorite local seafront bars and clubs: Mr. Bees, Steamrock, and Montana’s.

Lily’s mum never said a word about our bowling alley dress-ups. I assume she was either naïve or just decided to turn a blind eye—more likely the latter. Even the club bouncers appeared to fall for our glamorous makeovers and phony ID’s.

Our goal was to have a good time and spend no more than £20 for drinks and cloakroom. One summer night, we had been dancing up a storm in Montana’s to 90s classics; Mouse T, I’m Horny, Ultra Natee, I’m Free, and The Weather Girls, It’s Raining Men.

Someone accidentally dropped a glass on the dance floor and cut my foot open. I was oozing blood but couldn’t get into the ladies’ room because of the horrendous queue.

That’s how I met Will.

Will, whom I’d never seen before, was also at the club that night. He must have seen me bleeding and panicking because he arrived armed with a ton of tissues.

“Here, let me help you,” he said, offering a warm smile.

Gently, he cleaned up my foot and reassured me that I would be okay. He was utterly charming, and I felt butterflies in my tummy. I didn’t want him to leave, so I played the damsel-in-distress. It worked, we sat and talked for hours in a dimly lit booth, since dancing was out of the question.

The very next day, I was back working at the beach hut. Will again appeared like magic! I was surprised but pleased, very pleased. I must have mentioned where I worked during our chat.

“I just wanted to check on my patient,” he smiled. That’s when my heart skipped a beat for the first time.

The gesture was romantic, his smile and charm even more so. I thought to myself, “Goodness, the man is two years older, studying at college, and interested in little old me!”

I felt like the cat who got the cream. Will was more than a fun guy with piercing blue eyes and a fabulous laugh. He owned a cool car—a gold Ford Escort. (Remember I was a teenager.)

After a few dates, Will was convinced we had a special connection, and he asked me to be his “exclusive” girlfriend. I paused for two seconds and then said yes! He was over the moon.

And, so was I!

~

Mum and Dad adored Will; he became part of the family, always greeting Mum by a nickname; “Hey, Boss!” Mum found it funny, and I guess it added to his charm. I dated him through college while studying A-level qualifications and gaining my driving license.

I ended up gaining a part-time job with Will in Marks & Spencer in the food department. He would pick me up at 6.30 am—talk about dedication.

“Watch for the spiders in the bananas,” he would tease me. It would freak me out. I didn’t want to get bitten by a huge spider.

We became inseparable; I knew I had fallen in love for the very first time.

Will was perfect in every imaginable way. And everybody called us the perfect couple. Will was also the first man I was ever intimate with. When his soft hands caressed my skin, it felt electrifying, sending tingles all over my body. He was gentle and slow, and I didn’t feel at all afraid.

I knew that I could trust him, and I was happy that I’d reserved my ‘first time’ for someone truly special. Though, I wasn’t overly impressed by the uncomfortable ordeal.

Before long, I turned 18. I celebrated with a party and wore an electric blue dress and tiara and danced on the table with all my friends to Britney Spears, Baby One More Time.

I could see from the sheer volume of friends and family who attended that I was loved. I was a very lucky girl.

At Christmas, I opened a huge box. It was packed with gym weight discs and box after box inside to trick me.

When I finally discovered the gift, it was a solitaire diamond ring. It was special, but Will never actually popped the question. Still, I knew that I meant the world to him.

~

My goal was simple. I’d passed my A-levels at Bridgwater College and wanted to go to university in Cardiff. But I missed my first choice by a mere two points. I was beyond devastated and cried for hours.

I felt I had failed myself and my parents. But I enrolled at my second choice—Southampton Institute, to study a BA (Hons) in Journalism.

At the time, I had no idea that fate (and distance) would alter my destiny. As I left for university, I was a confident young woman with hopes, aspirations, and dreams of fairy-tale endings. Mum and Dad, Gramps and Nan had it all; I was confident, so would I. The only downside was that Southampton meant I would be further away from Will.

~

Southampton was a huge city, two and a half hours away, and I felt petrified at the thought of being so far from home.

As my leaving day came closer, Will became quiet and showed little interest in my university preparations. I genuinely believed it was because he was sad. Will promised we could make long-distance work, though he had graduated from college and was a highflyer for British Airways as an on-call tech engineer. I ventured off. I cried my eyes out when my parents left me in my new Halls of Residence. I was a capable young woman, but scared.

Fortunately, I shared an 11-bed dorm with some wonderful girls, many who became friends, some best friends for life.

We frequently partied, played funny games and silly dares (naughty challenges). We also danced up a storm in Ikon and Diva nightclub. But we also found time to shop and study.

I must have picked up on my sister’s tricks too and my new university friend, Mary, was gullible, so I had some fun.

I’m not sure which was the cruelest—the letter from the Dean (principal) kicking her out of halls or the prank Halloween calls.

Mary’s boyfriend used to stay over in the halls. I scanned in the university logo and wrote a letter informing Mary she was expelled and kicked out for allowing him to stay.

“What am I going to tell my parents?” she sobbed.

“I’m not sure, but I’m sure they will forgive you,” I comforted.

She cried for at least half an hour before I confessed to my crime and apologized for being so cruel. I did take it too far!

Then there were the scary Halloween calls, my voice saying, “I’m watching you.” Mary burst into my room. “I know it’s you!”

I played dumb, roped in another pal to take my role, then followed her back to her room. The phone rang again, “I’m watching you!” When she saw the caller wasn’t me, she freaked out. Boy, I was mean, but we became best friends, and she still loves me.

~

University was like nothing I’d known. I’d been used to Mum doing all my cooking and cleaning. Now, all I had were recipe cards.

I made it work. I studied, transferred my job at Marks & Spencer, and worked part-time around my degree to earn a wage. This time in ladies’ fashion, so there was no chance of a creepy spider encounter.

Will would visit. I’d grow excited at his arrival for a weekend, but it seemed like every visit was cut short by a work emergency call. At first, I tried to deal with the problem. But this behavior continued for months; it drove a huge wedge between us.

I suppose it also changed how I felt about Will. I felt neglected. He had made his choice: HIS work was more important than US.

The constant disappointment taught me something else—I was only 19. Perhaps, I should be young and carefree like other girls, not tied down. I was confused. But the confusion quickly turned to disillusionment.

One weekend I’d visited Will at his flat in Weston and found a long dark hair in his bed. I felt as though my heart had been torn from my chest.

“What the hell is this? Have you slept with another girl?” I yelled.

“No! Of course not! I wouldn’t. I don’t know how it got there!”

Since I was a mirror image of Claire Richards, the blonde, wild and crazy lead singer of the popular pop group Steps, my mind imagined all sorts of dubious activities.

I went a bit crazy. Will provided some fabricated story.

“I had a party. Loads of people stayed over. I slept on the sofa. I’ve no idea whose hair it is, but I didn’t cheat on you. I wouldn’t.”

Naively, I tried to believe him, because I wanted his explanation to be the truth. Of all the boys I’d known, Will was my childhood sweetheart and my one true love.

Besides, Will had always told me the truth, even when it wasn’t convenient.

Like the time my friend Lily and I had drifted apart. I’d assumed, like Will, that she was upset that I was leaving her behind to attend university.

In the months before I’d left, we were all on a night out in town. Katherine and I shared a taxi home, Will and Lily lived in town.

Lily asked him to walk her home since she didn’t want to walk the dark streets alone. Will obliged. According to Will, Lily tried to kiss him along the way, and he turned down her advances.

When Will told me, I was furious! Lily had tried to kiss her friend’s boyfriend! How could she betray me like that? Was Will’s version of the truth what happened? I’ll never know.

I couldn’t erase the possibility of Will sleeping with another girl from my mind. And I was too proud to ask Lily.

~

After the hair incident, I returned to university a different person. Could I ever completely trust Will again? I also knew I was young, full of life, and had a lot to offer the right someone.

It was also that clear the heartstrings connecting me, and Will were severing. I confided in Mum that I was at the end of my rope. She told me, “Don’t do anything rash,” and to think things over during the Christmas holidays. She adored Will.

I came home and completed the family festivities: traditional turkey with all the trimmings. The unsuspecting Will enjoyed our time together like nothing ever happened.

He even gave me a pair of earrings as a Christmas present. I’d felt sick opening them. They were gold knot studs – timeless classics, but I found them old fashioned. Maybe he didn’t know me at all?

A few days later, into the New Year, I broke his heart. We were tucked away in a bar, Will was his confident self, I’d painted on a smile, but underneath I was a quivering wreck with clammy hands.

I grew some balls and told him to his face, “I’m sorry Will, I can’t do this anymore. The long distance just isn’t working.” I barely saw him anymore because of his job and told him that we should go our separate ways. He cried, so did I.

Mum and Dad were gutted. They loved Will; he had been part of our family for years. I suppose they felt they’d lost a future son-in-law. “Are you sure you’ve made the right decision?” Mum quizzed.

“I don’t know,” I answered sheepishly. I never confided about the hair. I didn’t want Mum to think badly of Will—she loved him.

I believe, if circumstances had been different, and I might have gone to Cardiff, we would have married one day.

It’s also entirely possible that Will and I were just not meant to be.