Читать книгу A Place for Family - Mia Ross - Страница 11

Chapter Three

Even Superman had his weakness, John reasoned as he instinctively took Amanda in his arms. For him, it was a woman’s tears. They always reduced him to a helpless state, where he could think of only one thing: make them stop.

“It’s okay, Panda,” he soothed as she burrowed into his chest. “You’re home now. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

He’d used her old nickname hoping to make her feel better, but it only made her cry harder. She was trying to say something, but between the sniffling and the sobbing, he couldn’t make out a single word. So he stood there like a moron, just holding her, praying she’d blow herself out and calm down enough to tell him what was so wrong.

After a few agonizing minutes, she got herself together, pulling away with a final sniff. When she moved to wipe her cheeks with hands grimy from the tractor, he caught them in his. His intent was to keep her from getting grease all over her face, but the result of his impulsive move hit him like a sucker punch.

Damp cheeks glistening in the sunset, she gazed up at him with a look that was a heart-stopping mix of sorrow and gratitude. She brought to mind a stray kitten who wanted nothing more than to be picked up and cuddled. It would have been so easy to lean in and kiss her, and John came dangerously close to doing just that.

Startled, he stepped back to put some space between them. His arms felt empty without her, but he firmly shoved the impression away and focused on keeping his distance. And his good-guy status.

“Sorry about that,” she murmured. “I know you hate it when girls cry.”

“Most guys do, ’cause we don’t know how to make you stop.”

With a wan smile, she patted his arm. “You did just fine, but if I don’t get that laundry into the drier, no one will have any clean towels tomorrow. We should get this car tucked away.”

“Soon as you tell me what set you off, we’ll go.”

When she hesitated, he folded his arms and waited.

“John, I’m exhausted. Could we please put off the third degree until morning?”

“You’ll tell me everything? No more secrets?”

“Yes.” He cocked his head, and she sighed. “Promise.”

“Okay, then.”

She hadn’t noticed his bizarre reaction to her, John thought while he opened the driver’s door and closed it behind her. As he swung onto the tractor and increased the throttle, he counted himself fortunate to escape with his male dignity intact.

No doubt about it, he still had a very soft spot for Amanda Gardner. He’d have to watch his step.

* * *

John came through the door around six the next morning, drawn by the prospect of breakfast. The sun peeking over the hills was all he needed to get him in gear, but he knew Matt, Ridge and their farmhands would appreciate the coffee already brewing. The stainless-steel, commercial-grade coffeemaker was steaming away, filling one pot on the bottom while another waited on top.

Then he realized something was wrong. The smell wasn’t as strong as usual. When he noticed the pot was filled with mostly water, he got up to remedy the problem.

As he was pulling the container from the cupboard, he heard, “What are you doing?”

Without turning, he pressed the pause button and started scooping grounds into the empty filters. “Adding coffee to your coffee.”

Amanda muttered something very unladylike. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope. Sorry.”

When he turned to face her, he felt his jaw start to drop and had to remind himself to keep his mouth closed. She’d obviously washed her own clothes last night.

Dressed in faded jeans and a pink tank, she looked like she was ready for a picnic, not a day of housework. Her damp, curly hair was pulled up into a bouncy ponytail, a few stray pieces framing those incredible eyes. The war paint was gone, and her face had that fresh-as-a-daisy quality he’d missed yesterday.

He’d known his fair share of blonde, blue-eyed women, preferred them actually. But none of them had ever matched the one standing only a few feet away. He’d thought his imagination had idealized her over the years, making her seem more beautiful than she’d actually been. Seeing her now proved that he’d remembered every detail of her perfectly.

Amanda was watching him, holding the kids’ lunch boxes in her hands. She didn’t look scared, but she didn’t look confident, either. John knew how she felt. Considering their spontaneous embrace last night, he was beginning to have serious doubts about her staying at the farm.

Seeing her this way wasn’t helping any.

“Thanks for the help. I guess I’m not quite awake,” she confided with a dainty yawn.

“No problem.” Backing away to cover his discomfort, he nodded at the coffeemaker. “Some of that will help.”

“Oh, I don’t drink it anymore.”

John couldn’t believe his ears. In high school, she’d been a total caffeine hound. “Since when?”

“It’s been a while now.” She cast a longing look at the filling pot, then turned away to get some plates out of the cupboard. “Waffles are warming in the oven, and there’s fresh strawberries. Would you like some?”

John felt odd having her wait on him as if he was at a restaurant instead of in his sister’s kitchen. “Sure, but I’ll get ’em. You’ve got enough to do getting the kids ready for school.”

“Okay.”

While she pulled lunch supplies out of the cupboard, he heaped a plate with waffles. “This is kinda weird, huh? Your working here, I mean,” he added to be clear. He didn’t want her thinking he was up all night wondering what had brought her here. He hadn’t thought about it. Much.

Shrugging, she started spreading peanut butter onto sandwiches. “A little.”

“Well, don’t feel like you have to wait on us or anything,” he advised as he sat down. “We all know where everything is.”

Glancing over, she narrowed her eyes. “Meaning I don’t?”

Sensing he’d unintentionally touched a nerve, John sat back, hands in the air. “Meaning nothing. We’re just not the type of folks who have a housekeeper is all.”

“And I am, is that it?”

“Well, aren’t you?” Sensing they were headed for an argument they’d both regret, he tried to defuse it with a grin. “I mean, you can’t even make coffee.”

She didn’t even try to zing him back, and started hunting through the cupboards for something. He could have asked what she wanted, but after the slap down he’d gotten, he wasn’t inclined to be helpful just now.

Touchy, John thought as he pawed through the newspaper for the sports section. When he glanced over and caught her observing him, her disapproving frown told him she didn’t like the way he’d fanned the paper out across the table. Well, too bad. He’d done that every morning of his life since his father had taught him how to read the baseball box scores. He wasn’t about to change just because some uptight California girl didn’t like a mess.

As she reached into the fridge for drink boxes, she said, “I’m sorry for jumping down your throat.”

“It’s okay. You’ll feel better once you get the hang of things.”

“I thought my PR job was tough,” she confessed while she plucked grapes and dropped them into small plastic containers. “But I only had to worry about my clients and myself, and I had plenty of help. Keeping a family going is a thousand times harder. I don’t know how Marianne does it.”

“Experience,” John replied. “Don’t forget, she got a lot of practice with me.”

Amanda laughed, and in view of the rocky start their morning had gotten off to, John considered that a major improvement.

“Those pocket doors between the kitchen and living room are really nice,” she went on in a much more pleasant tone. “When did you add those?”

“The slots have always been there, but the doors were in the attic. Matt and I put them up last weekend to give Marianne and Ridge some privacy. They’re solid oak, so they keep out a lot of noise, too. Lets Marianne rest when she needs it.”

Dropping the drinks and grapes into each bag, Amanda glanced over at him. “You’re really worried about her, aren’t you?”

John never mentioned it, since he was supposed to be the optimist in the family. But her sympathetic tone made him nod. “We all are. Twins are tough for anyone, and she’s not twenty anymore. Just don’t tell her I said that.”

Smiling, Amanda gave him a broad wink. “I’m great at keeping secrets.”

She sure was. It was driving him nuts, wondering what was going on. Before his good sense could talk him out of bringing it up, he said, “Speaking of secrets, you need to tell me what’s going on.”

“I drove out here from California and my car broke down,” she answered while she filled the waffle iron with batter.

Cocking his head, he scowled. “And?”

Sighing, she closed the griddle and flashed him a hesitant look. “My parents know, but I’m not sure you want to hear it.”

Folding his hands on the table, he gave her his full attention. “Try me.”

She wet a dishcloth and started cleaning the counter. John knew perfectly well she was trying to avoid looking at him, but he let it go.

“About a year ago,” she began, “this new executive joined our firm. Over drinks one night, he said he was divorced and interested in dating me. We were together about six months before Ted finally told me he was still technically married.”

“Ted who?”

Shaking her head, she gave him an I-know-what-you’re-doing smile.

“Don’t want me going after him, huh?” John asked.

“Bingo.”

“Answer me one thing. How can someone be ‘technically’ married?”

“His words, not mine,” she explained. “Anyway, when I found out, I broke things off. But we were quite an item, so everybody knew about us, and most of them knew he was married. The whole thing was humiliating. As if that wasn’t enough, one Monday we got to the office and the doors were locked. They were glass, and we could see the whole place was empty.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Totally serious,” she responded with a sour expression. “We discovered the company was bankrupt, and the owners had sold off everything that wasn’t nailed down.”

“Just like that? Don’t they have to give you notice or something?”

“Well, they didn’t.”

Bad as all this sounded, her brittle tone alerted John that he hadn’t heard the worst of it. “Something else happened to send you running back here. What was it?”

Another sigh, this one so deep it made his chest ache. “My accountant had some financial problems of his own, and his solution was to borrow—” she added air quotes “—the money from me. The trouble was, he couldn’t pay it back. Long story short, I’m beyond broke. I auctioned off everything I could, but it wasn’t enough to pay off the debts I didn’t know had been piling up over the last two years.”

“That’s stealing,” John pointed out. “Shouldn’t they have put him behind bars or something?”

Anger flared in her eyes, giving them more life than he’d seen the whole time she’d been back. “Trust me, if we could have found him, he’d be in jail.” As quickly as it had spiked, the spirit ebbed away. “The closest we got was hearing he might have gone to Brazil. The problem is, tracking someone down costs money, and I didn’t have any.”

“That explains why you’re driving that car.” Hoping to lighten the mood, he copied her by air-quoting the final word. His attempt earned him a wan smile, but it was better than nothing.

“After a lot of thought, I decided that I’d made every mistake a person possibly could, and I needed a complete change of scenery. Lifestyle-wise and geographically, Harland was as far from L.A. as I could get.” Now, she pinned him with a begging look. “Don’t tell Marianne and Ridge. They’ll think I’m a brainless idiot, and I really need this job. I had to declare bankruptcy, so I’ve got nothing but the clothes in my duffel bag.”

Being a farmer, John was well acquainted with the concept of bankruptcy. While the Sawyers had escaped it themselves, many of their neighbors hadn’t been so fortunate. That Amanda had been forced to endure that harsh penalty through no fault of her own made him want to help her get back on her feet.

But he was a simple, straightforward guy. By his own example, Ethan had taught all of them that honesty wasn’t just the best way, it was the only way. John had taken his father’s lesson to heart as a child, and it was the compass that kept his life on its normally smooth, easygoing path.

Amanda’s situation presented him with a difficult choice. Either respect her wishes and keep his family in the dark, or tell them the truth and let Marianne make her own judgment.

Or he could convince Amanda to tell them herself. Not only would it force everything out in the open, it would enable her to dust herself off and make plans for her future. Of course, with the very headstrong Amanda Gardner, that was easier said than done.

His silence must have started to worry her. “Please, John? It’s been a long time since something went right for me.”

Hoping to appear unconcerned, he grinned. “I can have blueberry pancakes whenever I want?”

“Absolutely,” she breathed with a grateful smile.

“Then it’s a deal.”

He still had his misgivings, but after all she’d been through, knowing he could make her smile made him feel incredible.

* * *

The shifting emotions on John’s face had been simple enough for Amanda to read. Wariness when he saw her in the kitchen that morning. Concern for his sister and her babies. Then something darker that had no place shadowing his wide-open features.

John was as different from the other men she’d known as the sun was from the moon. Over the years, she’d thought about her rugged country boy many times, wondering what he was doing, if he was happy. Now he was right in front of her, and she could see for herself how much he enjoyed his sweet, simple life.

Get up at the crack of dawn, have breakfast with your family, work hard all day, play with the kids and the dog, go to sleep, repeat. Oh, and save the occasional damsel in distress. All of that flitted through her head in a heartbeat, and she realized she’d forgotten to do something very important yesterday.

“John?” When his eyes met hers, she gulped down her pride and rushed on. “I want to thank you for all your help. You’ve been really great.”

“You’re welcome.”

For a fleeting moment, the twinkle she recalled so fondly lit his eyes. She was asking a lot, but she knew she could count on him to keep her secret. Then the suspicious look returned. “There’s something else. What is it?”

Her heart thudded to a stop, and she berated herself for assuming she was in the clear. Perceptive as he was, she should have known better. Luckily for her, the kids chose that precise moment to come rushing downstairs for breakfast. They could work in showbiz, she thought with a grin. They had impeccable timing.

“Waffles!” Kyle shouted before John got his attention with a finger over his lips. “Sorry,” he said more quietly, turning to Amanda. “But I really love waffles. Are they burning?”

“Oh, no!” She’d forgotten all about them during her talk with John, and the griddle was smoking in protest. She flipped it open and used a towel to fan the smoke toward the open window. “Sorry, guys. I’ll make more.”

“Not for me,” Emily mumbled. “I don’t feel good.”

John’s frown alerted Amanda that his niece wasn’t the kind of kid who tried to dodge school with fake tummy aches. Resting a hand on the girl’s forehead, Amanda frowned, too. “That’s a fever, missy. No school for you.”

The pocket doors slid open, and Marianne entered the kitchen, apparently drawn by some inexplicable maternal instinct. “Not feeling too well, Emmy?”

“No.” Her lip quivered, and Marianne opened her arms wide. Looking miserable, Emily shook her head. “I don’t want to make you and the babies sick.”

“You won’t.”

“Are you sure?”

“A hundred percent.” Marianne sat down on the bench near the table. “Mommies know these things.”

She patted the seat beside her, and Emily cautiously joined her. When Marianne pulled her close, she snuggled in, closing her eyes as if everything was suddenly right with the world. Ridge appeared in the doorway and kissed the top of his daughter’s head before turning to Kyle.

“I’ve gotta get some things at the hardware store,” he said. “If you want, we can grab breakfast at Ruthy’s Place, then you can help me pick up what I need. When we’re done, I’ll drop you off at school.”

The boy grabbed his backpack, eyes bright with excitement. “Okay.”

“Ridge, you must be really busy,” Amanda said. “I can take Kyle to school if you’ll just loan me your car.”

Ridge traded a grin with his son. “Thanks, but we like to get some guy time once in a while, don’t we?”

“Sure do.”

“Just make sure he’s on time for his first class,” Marianne warned. “I don’t want to get another message from the attendance office and have to call all over town hunting for you two.”

“We’ll either be at Ruthy’s or Harland Hardware.” Ridge paused to kiss her as he and Kyle headed for the door. “Not hard.”

“Or the fairgrounds watching them bulldoze the dirt track, or at the airport watching the planes take off and land, or—” She was still talking when the screen door slammed shut behind them. Sighing, she pulled Emily in for a quick hug. “Those boys. What on earth will we do with them?”

“Boys are nothing but trouble, Mommy. I’m glad one of our babies is a girl.”

Smiling, Marianne broke a couple of pieces from John’s untouched waffles for her daughter. “Just eat a little bit, then we’ll give you something to get that fever down.”

Reaching into the cupboard, Amanda handed a bottle of children’s fever medicine to Marianne. That was when she noticed Kyle’s lunch still sitting on the counter. She’d lost count of the mistakes she’d made this morning, and it was only six-thirty. “I’ll take Kyle’s lunch to school later. What time does he eat?”

Marianne waved the idea away. “Don’t worry about it. He has a lunch account, so he can buy today. If he’s got any appetite left after the farmer’s breakfast Ruthy will feed him, that is.”

“Are you sure?”

“Definitely,” her new boss assured her. “You look a little stressed. Sit down and have something to eat.”

Touched by the concern, Amanda smiled. It was so nice to have someone looking out for her, instead of constantly fending for herself and pretending fate hadn’t buried her in an avalanche of failure.

She poured herself a glass of orange juice and sat down at the table with a bowl of fruit. Hoping to reroute her morning onto a better track, she chose a pleasant topic. “So, you’re expecting a boy and a girl. Do you have names picked out yet?”

“Andrew Ethan, and Chelsea Ann,” Emily replied proudly. “We all picked our favorite names and mixed them together.”

“What a fabulous idea.” She glanced over at John. “How do you like being an uncle?”

“It’s great. I get all the fun and none of the responsibility.”

“You and Uncle Matt are the best uncles in the whole world,” Emily informed him. “We love you to pieces.”

Recognizing the phrase, Amanda smiled at Marianne. “She sounds like you.”

“Well, I don’t say it often,” she commented, handing her daughter a small pill. “When I do, I really mean it.”

After obediently taking her medicine, the princess of the family gazed hopefully at her mother. “Can we watch Cinderella?”

“Again?” John groaned. “We just watched it the other night. Twice.”

“It’s my favorite.”

“This week, anyway.”

“You can pick next time,” she promised, getting a quick grin in reply.

“Sounds good.” Pushing off from the table, he stood and took a pair of work gloves from the shelf near the door. “Enjoy your day, ladies. Once I fix our beast of a tractor, I’m hoping to get started on that new field today.”

“Do you want something for lunch?” Marianne asked.

Amanda mentally kicked herself for not thinking of that. She should have asked Ridge, too.

“Nah. If I get hungry, I’ll wander back in.”

“They’re predicting rain today,” Amanda warned.

He shrugged as if it was no big deal. “God’s in charge of the weather. I just work with what He gives me.”

Kissing Marianne’s cheek and ruffling Emily’s hair, he glanced at Amanda briefly before strolling out the door. The other two decided it was movie time and headed into the living room, leaving Amanda alone with her breakfast.

While she munched on a piece of cantaloupe, Amanda watched John through the screen. As his long, easy strides took him toward the equipment barn, Amanda was struck by how different he was from the boy she’d known. Back then, he’d been a free spirit, and nothing had seemed to faze him. Now he worried, and despite his claim to have no responsibilities, it hadn’t taken her long to discover that was hardly the case. He had many, and he took them very seriously.

But some things—the most important ones—hadn’t changed a bit. His comment about the weather reminded her how strong his faith had always been. Trusting in God seemed to give him an even-keeled perspective she envied. Devoted to his family, John had never lived anywhere but this farm, and she wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he wanted to be buried here, too. In between, he’d work his family’s land, devoting his considerable energy to whatever task needed to be done.

Because that was the kind of guy he was. Grounded and content, not looking over the horizon, longing for something more. He’d been born into the life he was meant to live, and it suited him perfectly. While Amanda had restlessly pursued one dream after another, not once had she considered doing things differently.

Now that her splashy dreams had come crashing down around her, she couldn’t help wondering if she’d chosen the wrong path.

* * *

Putting in this new field just might be the end of him.

John slid the newly repaired engine into idle to cool it down. They hadn’t planted anything on this section of the farm since it flooded five years ago. In one sense that was good. The soil was well-rested and ready for crops. On the other hand, it was awful because the field grass had taken over, plunging its roots deep into the ground and wrapping around anything in its way.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the receding creek had left behind hundreds of rocks. They appeared where he least expected them, forcing him to get down and toss them free by hand when the plow couldn’t move them aside. At this rate he wouldn’t have time to plant anything here until next season.

With those dark thoughts crowding each other in his mind, John climbed back up and moved the tractor along. In his imagination, he heard his father’s voice, wisely reminding him he had two choices. He could either give up or keep trying.

After some serious internal debate, he kept working because quitting just didn’t sit right with him.

At around one, the gray clouds that had been steadily advancing all day started grumbling with thunder. Normally, he would have grumbled right along, but today the storm was a relief. He was exhausted from his poor night’s sleep and a long morning of tedious work. In all honesty, he thought as he drove back to the equipment barn, he was ready for a nice, long nap.