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Full-Scale Assault:

Declaring War on the Family

Did you know you are at war? This very moment you are being attacked and you may not even know. Ever since Satan deceived Adam and Eve in the garden, he has continually launched a full-scale assault on marriage and the family. Dr. James Dobson, in his book Marriage Under Fire, wrote,

To put it succinctly, the institution of marriage represents the very foundation of human social order. Everything of value sits on that base. Institutions, governments, religious fervor, and the welfare of children are all dependent on its stability. When it is weakened or undermined, the entire superstructure begins to wobble. That is exactly what has happened during the last thirty-five years, as radical feminists, liberal lawmakers, and profiteers in the entertainment industry have taken their toll on the stability of marriage. Many of our pressing social problems can be traced to this origin.1

Satan is no dummy. He knows that strong Christian families are a detriment to his plans and purposes on this earth and he is doing everything possible to destroy every one of them, including yours. My desire is not to scare you but to sound the alarm. We must open our eyes to reality. In this chapter, we are going to spend some time exploring the origins of the family and the havoc that Satan can bring into the life of the family. We are also going to take a look at the culture around us so that we can see first hand how he is trying to accomplish his mission.

The Family Begins

Are you skeptical of institutions? Many people are and the reason is quite clear – they do not trust institutions. In fact, we have all seen institutions fail because of corruption (think Enron). I want you to consider something that may cause you to think about institutions a little differently. Did you know the very first institution that God created was the family? Yes, that’s right – the very first institution ever created by God was the family. Consider these verses,

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.2

After God had created everything else, he crafted his most glorious creation: man and woman. Mankind is the only creature that is made in the image of God. We are special. We are unique.

After God created Adam and Eve, he brought them together and performed the very first wedding in history. He then gave them two primary responsibilities: (1) “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” and (2) “subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Essentially, these two commands can be summed up in two words: procreate and steward. Adam and Eve were called to fill the earth with true worshipers of God and steward all of God’s other creation. The plan was simple and yet, very quickly, things began to unravel.

Satan Declares War

Satan is a rebel. He enjoyed the privilege of being in the presence of the Lord but chose to lead a rebellion in heaven. As a result, he was banished from God’s presence (along with 1/3 of the angels) and cast down to the earth. You would think that this severe rebuke and punishment would have been devastating to Satan. Yet, the reality is that it stoked the fires of his prideful rebellion and he sought to bring God’s rule and reign to dust. That is where we come into the picture. Consider the story as recorded in Genesis 3:1-7:

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

Adam and Eve (the very first human beings) enjoyed God’s presence in the garden and had full reign over all the rest of creation. God had only given them one “no, no” – they were not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 2:16-17). They could eat from every other tree in the garden but this one, specific tree was off limits. The punishment for eating the fruit of this tree would be death (spiritual and physical).

Satan was not content with being the only rebel; he wanted other rebels – people who would throw off God’s rule and reign in their lives. Adam and Eve were perfect targets. Satan was crafty, craftier than any other beast that God had created. He appeared to Eve as a snake and unfolded his grand plan of rebellion. He did not call it a plan of rebellion but that is exactly what it turned out to be. Satan deceived Eve and caused her to question three specific things about God. He caused her to question (1) God’s Word, (2) God’s provision and (3) God’s goodness.

Did you notice that Satan began his conversation with Eve by asking a question? This was not an accident. He was crafty and cunning. He knew that the best way to begin a rebellion was to ask a question. It was a simple but pointed question: “Did God actually say…?” Satan began his attack on God’s kingdom by questioning God’s Word. We must never forget that Satan is as familiar with God’s Word as the most seasoned biblical scholar. In fact, in his temptation of Jesus (Matthew 4:1-11) he even quotes Scripture!

Satan moved from questioning God’s Word to insinuating that God’s provision for Adam and Eve was insignificant. What an absurd thought! God had provided Adam and Eve with everything they needed to enjoy the best spinach salad ever created. But, the text tells us that Eve saw that the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil was “good for food” and “a delight to the eyes.” In her estimation, what God had provided was just simply not good enough.

Then, Satan threw in the kicker – “Eve, God is holding out on you!” He questioned God’s goodness, calling him a liar and a deceiver. Satan declared that the only reason God gave them this command was to keep them from becoming like him. He reduced God to nothing more than a cosmic ogre seeking to maintain his position of authority.

Eve caved to Satan’s cunning and crafty rebellion and ate the forbidden fruit. Lest all the blame be laid at her feet, the text says, “she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate” (italics mine). Adam stood idly by while the serpent tempted his wife and then joined the rebellion against God without protest.

Satan Brings Destruction

The results of this rebellion were disastrous. The relationship Adam and Eve enjoyed with God before this event was radically altered. They immediately experienced the immense shame of sin, attempted to cover themselves with fig leaves and tried to hide from an omniscient and omnipresent God. When God came to them and began asking questions, Adam and Eve turned on one another and waved flags of personal innocence. Adam blamed Eve and she blamed the serpent.

Satan’s deception brought destruction. God is true to his word and, in that moment, Adam and Eve knew what it meant to die spiritually. They would later understand what it would mean to die physically as God removed them from the Garden of Eden and access to the tree of life. He also pronounced judgment on Adam, Eve, and the serpent. God promised that Adam would toil and sweat to bring sustenance from the earth and Eve would experience pain in childbirth and desire her husband’s position of authority. The most important pronouncement of judgment was issued to the serpent; he would spend his entire life cursed, slithering on the ground and would be crushed by the seed of woman. Theologians call this the protoevangelium – the first gospel. God, in his judgment of the serpent, issued the promise of a coming Messiah, one who would save his people from sin.

Ever since that day in the garden Satan has done everything within his power to disrupt God’s redemption plan. Knowing that marriage and family would be key to God fulfilling his mission to bring the Messiah (“the seed of woman”), Satan has worked overtime to destroy both. What began with Adam and Eve has continued for thousands of years. Marriages and families have always been and will always be under attack!

Why Families?

God promised that he would send a redeemer to “crush the head of the serpent” but he also noted that the serpent would “bruise” his heel. Throughout the Old Testament we see Satan working to bring God’s redemption plan to ruin. How did he attempt to accomplish this objective? He attacked marriages and families. There is a tremendous amount of dysfunction recorded in the Old Testament even with God’s own people, the nation of Israel. We encounter things like incest, prostitution, polygamy, child sacrifice, and idol worship. Satan was working overtime! Yet, his plan of rebellion did not succeed. Jesus Christ was born of woman, lived a sinless life, died on the cross and rose from the grave.

You would think that this would discourage Satan from his grand plan of rebellion against God but you would be mistaken. You see, Satan has continued his assault on families for two reasons. First, he attacks Christian marriages and the institution of marriage in general because it is a picture of the gospel. Consider these words in Ephesians 5:22-33:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

The clearest picture of Jesus’ love for his church, outside the gospel narratives, is the institution of marriage. When a husband loves his wife unconditionally and she responds with honor and respect, the lost world around this Christian couple encounters the gospel message in real life. No wonder Satan is doing everything he can to destroy Christian marriages! If he can distort this picture of the gospel or even destroy it then he has hope that his continued rebellion against God might succeed. The last thing he wants is a walking billboard proclaiming the great love Jesus has for his church.

He also attacks families because they are the seedbeds for gospel proclamation. As was noted before, the first place the Great Commission should be pursued is within the home. If Satan cannot destroy Christian marriages he will attack Christian families so that the gospel is not passed from one generation to the next. The last thing Satan wants is for the gospel to spread and we can be certain that our families are fair game in his rebellious scheme.

How Does Satan Attack Families?

Satan begins his attack on families by attacking the very institution of marriage itself. God created the institution of marriage and even performed the first wedding ceremony between Adam and Eve in Genesis 2:18-25. Not long after God brought Adam and Eve together, Satan unleashed his deceptive and rebellious plan. The beautiful institution of marriage God established quickly became a battlefield. Sin ravaged their relationship: they ran from God, attempted to cover up their sin and shame and blamed one another for their sin.

Since that time, every marriage is comprised of two sinners saying, “I do.” What began with the first married couple in the Garden of Eden has continued to this day. Satan continues to attack marriages. Through numerous schemes he convinces people that marriage is primarily about their personal happiness instead of God’s glory and spouses walk away from their marriage so they can pursue “happiness.” Satan knows that one of the keys to disrupting the spread of the gospel within the home is to destroy marriages. He is relentless and he is ruthless. We see this in rampant divorce (even among Christian couples), the pervasiveness of pornography and sensuality in our culture, the celebration of adultery in media and the current debate over homosexual “marriage.”

We are also witnessing Satan attack Christian families. Many parents have sacrificed the ability to disciple their children on the altar of busyness. We have bought the lie that our kids are successful because they are brilliant students and phenomenal athletes. We often pour all of our effort, energy and time into securing our kid’s “futures” while wholesale neglecting their spiritual growth and development. Parents are also tempted to abdicate their responsibility and expect churches to step in to teach and train their children in the ways of the Lord.

Broken and ineffective marriages mar the beautiful picture of the gospel (Jesus’ love for his church) and inhibit its spread. Busy, distracted parents neglect to train their children in the ways of the Lord, leading to a generation of “Christian kids” who do not know Jesus or the Scriptures. The alarm must be sounded – we must recognize that we are under attack!

Is There Hope?

You may have reached this point in the book and wondered if there is hope. If we are in a “no holds barred” wrestling match with the evil one, is it possible for us to save our marriages, disciple our children and make an impact for God’s kingdom? The good news of the gospel is that our victory over Satan is guaranteed and the Holy Spirit empowers us to follow God’s plan daily. However, we must get our heads out of the sand and prepare to do battle on behalf of our marriages and families.

Questions For Families To Consider

In light of what we have discussed in this chapter, I want to encourage you to consider the questions below. I believe the answers to these questions will reveal a great deal about the state of your marriage/family. Ultimately, I hope answering these questions prepares you to consider how vitally important a healthy marriage and family are to raising children who know God and his Word.

1 Do you recognize that you and your family are involved in a daily spiritual battle?

2 What are some areas of weakness that you see in your marriage that could be exploited?

3 What steps do you take to help fortify your marriage/family against the attacks of Satan?

4 Does your family tend to emphasize cultural success (sports, academics, etc.) over spiritual development and growth in the lives of your children?

5 What are you currently doing to help your children develop a relationship with Jesus Christ and grow spiritually?

Questions For Churches To Consider

My hope and prayer has been that church leaders would take the time to read this book and consider its implications for ministry. If you are a church leader, I encourage you to honestly answer the questions below with regards to your ministry setting. I believe your answers will serve as the starting point from which you can encourage families to take seriously their responsibility to be actively involved in the spiritual growth and development of their children.

1 Does your church recognize the battle that your couples/families are in on a daily basis?

2 What is your church doing to help strengthen marriages? Do couples know about these opportunities?

3 What resources does your church offer married couples that are struggling in their marriage? Do couples know these resources are available?

4 Does your church seek to equip parents to fulfill their role of being actively involved in their child’s spiritual growth and development?

1 James Dobson, Marriage Under Fire (Colorado Springs, CO: Multnoma Publishers, 2004), 4

2 Genesis 1:26-31