Читать книгу Making Your Wisdom Come Alive - Michael PhD Gluckman - Страница 20

At some point in my own spiritual practice I was always very nice. Nice to the point where it didn’t feel genuine. It had the feeling of being sickly sweet. I felt very uncomfortable around people. Knowing that suffering was not part of life, I decided to take a look and see what was going on behind this feeling of being too nice.

I first saw my view of the world: the world was a tough place where people were out to get me. I always had to be on guard. “Was it any wonder,” I thought, “that I studied martial arts including Kung Fu and Aikido.” It fit right into my view of the world.

Then why was I so nice to everyone? It became very clear. This was my self-defense. If I could get the people who were ‘intrinsically bad’ to like me, then I could protect myself. I spotted where I picked up these thoughts and exactly how they worked in my life.

At that point I just looked afresh at my view of the world to see if it was really bad, if people were really out to get me. First, I noticed the beauty of nature around me from the trees and tall grass to the reflection of the sun and the hills in an icy stream. At that moment I noticed a harmony that was vast and joyful. It was the same harmony as that I had eyes and ears and there were things to see and hear, that I needed to breathe and there was air.

I saw that people were a part of this amazing harmony, that at their core they had the same feeling of bliss and love that I have. They loved their children and their pets and I saw how most people just wished me the best.

To my amazement, the cold, distant, harsh world, which I thought was out there, came right inside me, and on the inside it wasn’t cold or harsh at all. My heart opened up and I discovered that on the inside everything is connected by a vast unseen harmony. That even though it is unseen, it is my direct experience.

I wanted to develop a more genuine behavior pattern and ended up discovering how the whole universe was inside me. More on this later, but for now hold your hat, you never know how vast and how amazing your meditation practice can get when you strive for self-discovery. Clear out these little conceptual frameworks that seem to rule your life, and then without replacing them with anything, let it rip.

I think you will discover that life is more than just not being depressed or angry. Life is vast; life is beautiful; life is beyond our imagination. If you feel that ‘life’ is anything less than that, peel off the limitations that you think belong to you. You will start to have experiences that you could never have anticipated. What you thought was separate and distant will come right inside, in oneness.

Later on in this book we will talk more about the emotions in, “When our Emotions Get Out of Balance,” and “Freedom Fom the Grip of Anger.” But for now we will talk about another aspect of the mind: “The Memory.”