Читать книгу How to Have an Affair and Other Instructions - Michael Hemmingson - Страница 5

THE END OF CELIBACY

Hannah had a quirky look to her I found appealing—thick, dark-rimmed glasses; a white streak in her otherwise jet black hair; an odd-assortment of attire, cool in this age of the awkward. She was one of the regulars who hung out at the pub down the street from my apartment. Some friends were playing pool, which wasn’t my thing. Hannah bought a pitcher of beer and we sat together.

A guy was bending, ready to take a shot at the table, his rear end very close to us. “Get your butt somewhere else,” Hannah said, “or I’ll take a pool stick and shove it up”

“That’s not very nice,” I said. “How’d you like it if someone stuck a pool stick in your ass?”

Hannah raised her brows. “I just might like it.”

That was the first clue I didn’t get—I wasn’t paying attention. I’d recall in hindsight, yes, as well as overhearing her talk about how her favorite scene in Last Tango in Paris was when Marlon Brando put butter up his young lover’s backdoor before sodomizing her.

Soon the beer was gone.

“What will you do now?” Hannah said.

“Don’t know,” I said.

She took her glasses off and looked at them. “I live a block away, you know.”

“No,” I said, “I didn’t know. So do I.”

This was the second clue—and I wasn’t paying attention.

“Well,” she said.

“Maybe we can go there,” I said.

She put her glasses back on. “Okay.”

We walked up the block to her place, a small cottage. It was nice, a little messy. I asked how much she paid for it.

“Nothing,” she said. “My parents own the property.”

“Nice.”

“I have beer, I think,” she said, going to the kitchen.

I sat on the couch in the small living room.

Hannah returned with two Budweisers. “Yes, I have beer.”

She sat next to me.

I don’t remember what we talked about. On the floor, I noticed an action figure of the Warner Brothers Martian from the Bugs Bunny cartoon. “I always loved that Martian,” I said.

“Me too,” she said, going to the floor and picking it up. “Marvin the Martian. ‘I’m going to destroy planet Earth!’” I touched her hair. She put her head in my lap. It was nice to touch somebody.

“I, um, I don’t know what to do,” I said.

“What?”

“I haven’t been with anyone in a while.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“It’s true.”

“It’s a line,” she said. “Do you like me?”

“Yes,” I said.

“I like you.” She got on the couch with me and we began to kiss. She had to take her glasses off, they were getting in the way. We kissed for a long time. She pushed me back on the couch, and lay on top of me. I grabbed her ass, put my hands down her skirt.

She pulled her mouth from mine. “Bad boy,” she said.

I grabbed her head, and we kissed more.

When I tried to touch her cunt, she stopped me.

“No,” she said.

“Sorry,” I said.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, and we kissed.

When I touched her breasts over the fabric of her blouse, she pushed them away. “Now, now,” she said.

“Sorry,” I said.

She took one of my hands and put it back on her ass. “Play with that.”

I did, and we kissed. My hand, and my second hand, were all over her butt.

“Hey,” Hannah said, “rub my asshole.”

“What?”

“With your finger,” she said, and I found her asshole with my finger. “In small circles,” she said, “yeah, like that”

She pulled away from me, and sat. She took the finger I’d been rubbing her with, put it in her mouth, sucked on it. She smiled, and gave my finger back. She put her glasses on.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, moving to her, wanting to kiss her more.

“Nothing,” she said. “I have to pee.”

“Hey.” I grabbed her hand as she stood up. “Can I watch?”

“You want to watch me pee?”

“Yes,” I said.

“I need a commitment before I go that far,” she said.

“We hardly know each other.”

“Exactly,” she said, and went to the bathroom.

I sat there.

I got up, and followed. The door was unlocked, and I went in. Hannah was sitting on the toilet; she glanced up at me. She smiled and said, “You.” I could hear the stream of her urine. I sat on the floor, cross-legged.

“You’re bold,” she said.

“The door was unlocked.”

“There is no lock.”

“I couldn’t resist.”

She stood up. “Okay, Mr. Bold. Clean me.”

“With my mouth?”

“Absolutely not.”

I would’ve done it with my moth, if she’d asked. I took a wad of toilet paper, and wiped her cunt. She pulled her panties up.

“I have to go too,” I said.

“Then I get to watch,” she said. “Quid pro quo.”

She took my place on the floor; I stood in front of the toilet, took my cock out.

Hannah made a weird sound. She moved, snagged my cock, and put her mouth before it, drinking my urine; what she didn’t get flowed out, down her chin, and into the bowl. I liked the sound this made. I breathed hard; it was an experience in itself watching her drink from me.

She pressed her face to my leg. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself,” she said, softly. “Now you know my fetish. Okay, I’m weird. You’ll never love me.”

“I could love you,” I said.

“Do you mean that?”

“Yes.”

“Will you kiss me to prove it?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said.

She stood, and we kissed, and I tasted her—and me.

“I want to make love to you,” I said.

“No, I can’t,” she said.

Hannah left the bathroom and sat on the edge of her bed. I sat next to her; we both fell back. It was a nice, big, comfortable bed, the kind of bed I liked; the kind of bed I didn’t have.

“It’s late,” she said, moving away from me. “I’m a little drunk.”

“Me too,” I said.

“You can stay here,” she said, “if you want.”

“I’d like that.”

“I’d like it too,” she said, standing. “I’m going to turn the light off.”

“Okay.”

In the dark, I saw her silhouette; she was removing her clothes. I also took my clothes off, and got under the covers. She joined me; we didn’t touch. My hand went to her body; she was still wearing her bra and panties. I moved closer to her, kissed her.

“I don’t think I want to screw,” she said.

“Okay,” I said.

“I mean, I’m not sure if I can.”

“Okay.”

“I’m not sure if I’m in the right frame of mind.”

“Okay.”

“It’s not okay,” she said, “you don’t understand, you don’t know.”

“I want to,” I said.

“I know you do.”

“Hannah,” I said.

“It’s nice having you in my bed,” she said.

“It’s nice to be in a bed with someone.” She placed her head on my chest, and then a hand, playing with the hair. We were quiet, touching each other. Her hand moved down, and grasped my cock.

“This is nice,” she said.

“Yes,” I said, “it is.”

“Nice.…”

I kissed her on the head.

“I know,” she said, and, “I’m twenty-eight years old.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m still a virgin.”

I laughed, after a moment.

“This is true,” she said.

“Now who is giving who a line?”

She let go of my cock. “I made up my mind years ago that I would save myself for my husband, because some day I plan to marry a nice man. And this man will expect me to be a virgin.”

“I see.”

“No you don’t see,” she said. “I don’t expect you to understand. Other men haven’t. Like I said, I’m twenty-eight. This doesn’t mean I’m not sexual. Obviously I’m sexual, and I have fetishes. I’m really pretty basic in that matter—I have a pee fetish, and a butt, you know. I mean, I’m a virgin, vaginally, but I like having sex in my butt.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“I’m terribly attracted to you,” she went on. “I want you. I want you inside me. But I want more than a fuck-buddy. I had a fuck-buddy for a while, for a few months, it was just sex, nothing more. I didn’t like it; I mean it was okay, but it wasn’t me. It was a different me.”

“He fucked you in the ass?”

“Yes. I don’t know if he liked it that much. Some men do, some don’t.”

I’d only had anal sex with a woman once, and I think I was nineteen or twenty.

“I want you to fuck me,” Hannah said, “but I’m looking for more than just fucking. I’m not looking for a husband. I’ll do that in my thirties, maybe my forties. I’m looking for companionship, closeness, a little love. Devotion, all that.”

“Sounds nice,” I said.

“Yes. It sounds—it sounds nice.” She took her panties off. “I’d like you to fuck me,” she said. “I want you to.”

“Lubricant?” I asked, thinking the last time I’d done this, I had to use a lot of petroleum jelly.

“Spit is fine,” Hannah said. She spit into her hand, put her hand between her ass cheeks. She spit into her hand again, and rubbed the saliva over my cock. “I’m getting impatient,” she said.

I moved on top of her, feeling inexpert. Hannah reached back, took my cock, and guided me into her ass—where it slid in just fine, without hesitation or resistance. The warmth of her interior sent a tingle up my body and soul. Hannah whispered, “Oh boy,” and pushed her rear up, hard, slamming into my pelvis. I looked down at the streak in her hair, which was scattered about the back of her neck and on the bed with the rest of her hair. I swear she had an orgasm, I wasn’t sure, but mine came quickly, and it was a lot; I emptied myself inside her.

We lay next to each other after, and Hannah commented on the amount of semen I’d gushed out, that she liked how it felt up her ass, and coming out her ass.

She touched and played with my cock and balls, and soon I was hard again. She got on top of me. “This position is always tricky,” she said, sitting down on my cock and sliding it in. She leaned forward to kiss me, and it popped out, covered in semen from that first ejaculation. Hannah giggled, and put my cock back in her. I reached for the light. “What are you doing?” she said.

“I want to see you.”

“I like the light off.”

“Okay.”

“Oh, turn it on if you want.”

I did. She still wore her bra; her hair was a mess. I reached to unclasp her bra and she pushed my hand away; my cock slipped out of her.

“Let’s try it like this,” I said, gently pushing her off me and onto her back. I put her legs on my shoulders; I didn’t need her help to find my way in. I was deep in her now.

“I like this,” she said.

“I can kiss you,” I said, and did.

“Kiss me more.”

I did.

“Fuck me harder.”

I did, and I came inside her again.

“I have to piss,” I said to her, “do you want it?”

She made a noise, reached up and bit my right nipple, hard.

“Ouch,” I said.

We went back to bed, in each other’s arms, and fell asleep.

I woke up, the next morning, with Hannah messing around with my ass. She had her face down there—I was lying sideway—slicking from my balls to my crack. I’m not sure how long she’d been doing this, but it was a nice thing to wake up to. She pushed me onto to my stomach, spreading my buttocks, a light finger on my sphincter, then a tongue. She licked it a bit, asked me if I liked that. I did, of course—“Yes,” I said. She said, “I like it too,” and licked more, harder this time, pushing the tip of her tongue into me like a thirsty animal at a waterhole. I felt saliva roll down onto my balls—a funny, ticklish feeling. She started to suck, making sounds that I can only describe as pleasantly perverse. She did this for the good part of an hour, as I lay there in ecstasy, having discovered a new world. She was still making wicked sucking sounds, and there was a soft hum from the back of her throat. She turned me over, and sucked on my cock for a bit. “My mouth is getting tired,” she said, “can you fuck me?” She was on her hands and knees, and I took her from behind. I grabbed her hips, and slammed myself inside and out of her. I wanted to come in her mouth, this image was in my head. I told her this. She turned around and took me in her mouth, and I came.

And that’s how I ended my period of celibacy.