Читать книгу Start With the Heart - Michelle L. Trujillo - Страница 16

The second solution comes from a philosophy embedded in the teachings and practices of an organization called Creating the Future (2018). Hildy Gottlieb, cofounder of this organization, lives by the credo that, if we change the questions, we can change the world.

Have you ever really thought about the questions you ask? When our tough students act out or demonstrate behavior that we know may escalate, we tend to ask demanding questions such as, “Why did you do that?” or “What were you thinking?” These questions can put kids, and colleagues or employees for that matter, on the defensive. They naturally assume the question comes with a predetermined judgement or assessment of the situation and that, regardless of their answer, it will likely result in a negative consequence. Instead of getting answers, by asking these questions, we aggravate the situation inadvertently. To avoid doing so, we can replace the questions that we ask the student, colleague, or employee with a simple request: “Can you tell me more. . . ?” We can follow that up with “. . . about the situation,” “. . . about how you’re feeling right now,” “. . . about what upset you?” or any other open-ended question appropriate to the situation. The tell me more request lets the person with whom we are talking know that we are willing to listen and that we want to understand what happened from his or her perspective. This is an ideal way to meet people exactly where they are in the moment, without jumping to conclusions or heightening any anxiety they may already have. When children or adults feel heard or encouraged, which this type of question allows, they are more open to connection and less likely to repeat the same negative behavior in the future. This does wonders for classroom management, but it can also have a lasting effect on a student’s life as an adult.