Читать книгу Romancing The Wallflower - Michelle Major - Страница 11

Chapter Three

“You asked him to hit the sheets?” Melody let out a hoot of laughter. “Who are you and what have you done with my friend Erin?”

Erin kept her palms pressed tight against her cheeks, willing her face to stop burning. “Oh my gosh,” she repeated for the tenth time since she’d climbed in Melody’s minivan and told her friend how she’d left things with David. “I’m nobody. I’m delusional. He’s going to think I’m crazy. Maybe I am crazy.”

“You’re not crazy.” Melody reached out and gently pulled Erin’s hands away from her face. “But did you ever think of asking him out on a date?”

“Clearly I wasn’t thinking at all.” Erin shook her head. “And of course I didn’t ask him for a date. David McCay would never go out with someone like me.”

“Bargaining for sex seemed like a better idea?”

Erin groaned. “Oh my gosh.”

“Why wouldn’t he go out with you? You’re cute. You’re nice. You have decent teeth.”

“Decent teeth? My best friend thinks one of my top three selling points is decent teeth? This is even worse than I thought.”

Melody laughed softly. “Suzie and I saw the way he looked at you at the bar last night. It was kind of hot.”

“The way he looks at a parking meter is hot. That’s David. He’s not for me. We both know he’s not for me.”

Her friend didn’t deny it, and Erin wasn’t sure whether to feel justified or hurt by the silent validation.

“Then why make your little request?”

Erin thought about how she’d felt with David watching her across the small apartment. The way she’d seemed to come alive when he’d placed his hand on the small of her back. The longing for something more in her life.

“He asked me what I wanted and my mouth formed the words before my brain could catch up. He is what I want. Not forever. Not for real. But the chance to be with him...”

Melody sighed. “Can you imagine?”

For Erin, fantasizing about David was akin to fangirling over a comic book superhero played by some hot Australian actor on the big screen—larger than life. He was so handsome he took her breath away, but was a whole galaxy out of her league.

He’d probably even look darn good in tights. Erin giggled at the thought, and the fact that she had asked him for an affair. What had she been thinking?

“I want to be seen,” she said softly. “I’m tired of being invisible.”

“We see you,” Melody answered. “The kids see you.”

“They see Ms. MacDonald. For a school year. Then we have kindergarten graduation and they move on. They grow up. They aren’t mine.” She took another breath. “It’s the same reason I’m working with Olivia Travers at the community center on the Crimson Kidzone project.”

“You’re comparing starting an after-school program for at-risk kids to sleeping with the town hottie?”

“Yes.” Erin shook her head. “No. I mean, not when you put it like that. But Kidzone will belong to me. I can make a lasting difference in this community.”

“You do that already. That’s what being a good teacher is all about. Elaina loves you.”

“She’s a great kid, but you know that already.” Melody’s daughter, Elaina, was in Erin’s class this year and was the same mix of sweet and spunky as her mother.

“Takes after her dad,” Melody said with a wink. Melody had two young kids and a husband who worked long hours as one of Cole Bennett’s deputies to provide for his family.

She pulled to a stop at the curb in front of Erin’s apartment building. Erin had lived in her apartment in the converted redbrick Victorian since she’d moved back to Crimson after college. All of her furniture was hand-me-downs from her mother. She had white walls and a shower that never got hot enough and it was all...adequate.

“I want to do more, Mel. I want to be more. Average has always been enough for me, but sometimes I want more than an ordinary life.”

“David McCay sure isn’t average.”

Erin smiled. “It was a stupid request, and I’ll have to apologize. Or maybe he’ll pretend it never happened and save us both a lot of embarrassment.”

“Is that what you want?”

“It’s what I should want. I didn’t help him last night because I expected anything in return. Rhett’s a special kid, but it’s clear his life hasn’t been easy. He definitely has some behavioral issues, but we were making progress in class. He was responding to me. I don’t want him to slip through the cracks.”

“Don’t take it back, Erin. How many women like us get a chance with someone who looks like that?”

“Says the woman with a ridiculously handsome husband.”

“I love Grant to distraction, but we’re already a boring married couple. Let me live vicariously through you and your little adventure. I vaguely remember what it was like to be single and playing the field.”

“You and Grant started dating when we were juniors in high school.”

Melody rolled her eyes. “I said vaguely.”

“I need to shower and get ready.” Erin opened the car door, the morning breeze tickling the hair that had come loose from the ponytail she wore almost every day. “It’s going to be a long one. I’m meeting Olivia at the community center after school to finalize the details on the outreach program.”

Melody leaned over the console as Erin hopped out of the car. “At least reassure me that this business with your hottie brewer has nothing to do with the jerk ex-boyfriend.”

“Nothing at all,” Erin confirmed, and shut the door behind her, never revealing that the fingers of her other hand were tightly crossed behind her back.

* * *

Erin parked around the corner from the Crimson Community Center later that afternoon and kept her head down as she moved along the bustling sidewalk. Growing up, Crimson had been nothing more than a sleepy mountain town, always in the shadow of nearby Aspen, which felt to Erin like the more glamorous and showy older sister.

But in recent years, Crimson had come into its own, attracting new residents and an influx of visitors who appreciated the town’s laid-back vibe and the myriad outdoor fun available in the mountains surrounding it.

Now the town was busy most weekends, even though the summer crowds had dispersed and they had a good two months before ski season kicked off.

She’d managed to avoid David at both drop-off and pickup today, although she’d pulled Rhett aside during reading groups after she’d watched the boy purposely knock a bin of markers to the floor, then blame the mess on Elaina Cross, who sat next to him. At first he’d refused to speak or even make eye contact when she’d brought him into the hallway. Eventually he blinked away tears and told her his mommy was going away to a place that would make her better and he had to stay with his uncle David.

Wrapping Rhett in a tight hug, Erin had reassured him that both his mother and his uncle loved him. She’d cautiously brought up the previous night and they’d talked a little about his fears and how important it was for him to feel safe.

While she couldn’t avoid David forever, a little distance might work to Erin’s advantage. A fierce war was raging between her brain, which wanted the whole embarrassing situation to disappear, and the rest of her body, which was singing the “Hallelujah” chorus at the mere thought that David might agree to her outrageous request.

Erin had been with one and a half men in her lifetime. Well, two men to be exact, but she only counted the first as a half because he’d gotten so drunk during their date that he’d fallen asleep kissing her. Talk about a blow to the ego, and her ego hadn’t been much of a force in the first place. But the jerk ex-boyfriend Melody had referred to was the final nail in Erin’s confidence coffin.

She and Greg Dellinger had dated for six months, and their relationship was fine. Fine. That should have been her clue to run away as fast as she could. She’d watched enough rom-coms to know that falling in love was supposed to be better than fine.

It had been Greg who’d broken up with her, blissfully explaining that he’d fallen in love with a woman who was beautiful, sexy and exciting. Tacitly implying that Erin was none of those things. Not a big shock, but it stung.

Maybe she owed Greg a thank-you, though, because it had been while reevaluating her life—halfway through a carton of Chunky Monkey—that Erin decided she wanted more.

Deserved more.

Changing up her love life was a daunting project, so she’d started her be-more-than-ordinary makeover by contacting Olivia Travers. Ever since she was a girl, Erin had wanted to be a teacher—to help kids learn but also give them a chance to discover all their potential and coax it out.

The same way she’d wished for someone in her life to notice her. With Crimson’s ever-expanding population and changing demographics, she was afraid that the neediest kids in the community were getting overlooked. Lost in the shuffle or with families that didn’t want the stigma of coming forward for assistance.

Olivia, who’d founded the community center two years ago, had the best of intentions but funding was often difficult to come by for free programming. Erin had outlined her plan for Crimson Kidzone, scheduled a meeting and pitched her idea, offering to volunteer her time to start the program and also work on grant writing to gain additional support.

Her friends at school had encouraged her, while her mom wondered why she’d want to spend more time with children than she already had to for her job. Maureen MacDonald was a quiet, keep-to-herself type of woman. She loved Erin and had done her best after Erin’s father died of a sudden heart attack when she was in kindergarten. But Maureen dedicated more of her time to her psychology practice than she did to motherhood, and she and Erin had little other than genetics in common. Her mother was content to remain in her introverted bubble and that’s how she’d raised her only daughter.

Erin was stepping out of that bubble, even if the encounter with David made her want to jump right back into it.

Her nerves disappeared as soon as she walked into the community center. Her personal life might be a hot mess, but she knew in her heart that the after-school project would be a success. She wouldn’t settle for anything less.

Olivia was waiting at the reception desk for her, a chubby-cheeked baby cradled in her arms.

“I hope you don’t mind an audience for our meeting,” she said apologetically. “The babysitter called in sick.”

“Any opportunity to get my dose of snuggles.” Erin shifted her backpack so she could reach for baby Molly, who was the most scrumptious five-month-old she’d ever seen.

The little girl was a perfect mix of her mom and dad. She had eyes the same striking green as her mother’s. But instead of Olivia’s dark hair, she was a towheaded baby with wispy blond hair the same color as Logan Travers’s, Molly’s doting daddy. Erin wasn’t part of the Traverses’ wide social circle, but she’d seen the group of friends around town enough to know that Logan, while big and brawny on the outside, was absolute putty in his daughter’s hands.

“You’re a natural with kindergartners and babies,” Olivia said as she transferred her daughter to Erin. Coming from Olivia, who was naturally beautiful and had the gentle spirit to match, Erin was grateful to receive the compliment. “Did you grow up in a big family?”

A little pang of disappointment passed through Erin as she shook her head and pressed a kiss to the baby’s soft forehead. “I’m an only child, but I always thought it would be fun to have a big family. I love babies.”

“You were meant to be a mother.”

The other woman’s words made something go soft and melty in Erin’s heart. She wanted to be a mother, to have someone—or even better, multiple someones—to call her own. The thought of a baby with David McCay’s big blue eyes made her chest flutter.

“I have a gut feeling,” Olivia continued, “just like I did when you contacted me about the after-school program.” She leaned in closer. “Any potential suitors or shall I put the word out? I’ve learned to trust my instincts.”

“Praise the Lord for your instincts,” a deep voice said, “or you never would have taken a chance on me.” Erin glanced over her shoulder to see Olivia’s husband, Logan, standing right behind her. And next to him...David McCay.

Molly let out a little squeak as Erin squeezed a bit too tightly. She rocked the baby and Molly immediately grinned and tugged on the ends of Erin’s hair.

“That’s right,” Olivia said, leaning into her husband when he moved around Erin and draped an arm across her shoulders. “Can you blame me for wanting everyone to be as happy?”

“I’m happy,” Erin whispered, even though it wasn’t quite the truth. She could feel David’s eyes on her, and although she didn’t meet his gaze, the intensity of his stare made the hair stand up on the back of her neck.

“How about you, David?” Olivia lifted a brow. “You’re single, right?”

“Yep,” came the rumbly answer.

Olivia smiled. “Crimson is the perfect place to find true love.”

“David is here to talk about the beer for Oktoberfest,” Logan said, dropping a kiss on the top of Olivia’s head. “Although I’m sure he appreciates your matchmaking efforts.”

Erin risked a glance at David, who shrugged. Suddenly she was terrified he might reveal what she’d asked him. It was crazy, but she couldn’t stop the fear coursing through her. He opened his mouth but before he could answer, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind, even though it was an obvious lie. “I’ve got a boyfriend.”

Olivia looked disappointed. “Well, I guess I wasn’t meant to be a matchmaker after all.”

“We’ll have to find other ways to keep you busy,” Logan said.

“Right now, Erin and I need to go over the last-minute details for her after-school outreach project. The program starts Monday.” She scooped the baby out of Erin’s arms and handed her to Logan. Molly gurgled happily, curling a fist in the soft denim of her daddy’s shirt.

Olivia moved toward the hallway that led to the community center’s classrooms. “You coming, Erin?”

Erin realized she was staring at the baby, her arms strangely empty without the lotion-scented bundle. “Right.” She darted a glance at David, who arched a brow in response.

One small brow arch she felt all the way to her toes.

An imaginary boyfriend. That should end things before they even got started.

Forcing a smile, she looked from David to Logan. “See you both later,” she called, and hurried after Olivia, ignoring the regret that surged through her as she walked away.