Читать книгу Striker - Michelle Betham - Страница 11

‘You’re my secret weapon,’ Ryan whispered, his lips close to her ear as he pushed her over onto her back, parting her legs with his knee. ‘My very own lucky charm.’

Amber laughed out loud, throwing her head back as she wrapped her legs around him, the prospect of a few more minutes in bed so much more appealing than another day at the Sports Desk over at News North East. But she was going to have to make a move some time soon, whether she liked it or not. ‘Hmm…’ she groaned, stretching languidly as his mouth covered one of her breasts, his tongue flicking across her naked skin, his rough beard tickling her slightly, which only heightened the shivers that were shooting right through her. ‘I think you might be right. I’m certainly feeling lucky right now.’

He looked at her, those deep-blue eyes of his showing no signs of the little sleep they’d had the night before, whereas Amber was almost dreading looking in the mirror when she finally managed to summon up the enthusiasm to get out of bed.

‘Since I met you, Ms. Sullivan, I’ve scored in every single match I’ve played in, won “Man of the Match” three times, and am currently being lauded as a saint here on Tyneside. They are loving me, baby. Loving me. And you’ve done that.’ He quickly kissed her unsuspecting mouth, an action which Amber was growing to love more and more as each day around Ryan Fisher unfolded. He had the sexiest mouth, and one that could deliver everything from the lightest of touches to the deepest, most erotic kiss she’d ever experienced.

She smiled up at him as he pulled away slightly, that familiar, almost boyish smirk on his handsome face. ‘Oh, come on, Ryan. I’m not sure I can take all the credit for your winning streak.’

‘Well, I can’t deny my incredible talent doesn’t have something to do with it.’

Amber grabbed a pillow and hit him with it, squealing loudly as he grappled the pillow from her hands, pulling her up into his arms.

‘Hey, you don’t want to be injuring this sporting legend now, do you?’ he smirked, his arms falling around her waist as she sat astride him.

‘If I really wanted to injure you, you egotistical pig, I could think of far more interesting ways of doing it.’

‘Oh yeah?’ he asked, arching an eyebrow.

‘Yeah,’ she smiled, closing her eyes and groaning quietly as his mouth once again covered one of her breasts, his tongue sending a million tiny electric shocks coursing through her all at once. ‘Jesus, Ryan, come on. I’m going to be late for work.’

He pushed her back onto the bed again, his hands holding onto her wrists as he pulled her arms up above her head, pinning her down, pushing his way inside her before she had any more chances to protest.

‘Ryan!’ Amber moaned, half of her angry at him for giving her no choice here, and the other half excited that the early morning sex wasn’t quite over yet. She was sure she could smooth things over with Kevin if she did happen to be a little late into the office. ‘You’re such a bastard!’

‘But an incredibly sexy one, huh?’ he grinned, holding tightly onto her wrists as he pushed in deeper, feeling her respond with a thrust of her hips and another long moan.

‘Yeah, alright, I give in. I really am sleeping with God’s gift to the football pitch, aren’t I?’

He gave a low, deep laugh and Amber couldn’t help but laugh, too. She’d tried so hard to fight this relationship with Ryan over the past few weeks, but it was a fight she’d lost in spectacular fashion. He’d reeled her in, and now she was hooked. And making no attempt to wriggle free. He was a breath of fresh air in her usually routine life. He was everything she needed, everything she’d wanted but had been too afraid to go out and get. He was a necessity, and he was becoming a fixture she didn’t really want to let go of just yet.

‘You are such an arrogant prick,’ Amber groaned, closing her eyes and falling back against the pillows as those final few post-sex shivers tingled their way up her body, leaving her slightly breathless but totally satisfied, and more than ready to go and face whatever it was that Kevin had in store for her today.

‘Yeah,’ Ryan sighed, rolling off her and sliding out of bed. As much as he loved being with Amber, he still wasn’t big on the post-sex cuddles. But it seemed she wasn’t all that bothered about them, either. She was fast turning into his perfect woman with that red-hot hair and a figure that was real, in the true sense of the word. Not one thing about Amber Sullivan was false, and she was just one of the many factors that contributed to the fact he was having the time of his life right now. His football was flawless, he was having the best sex he’d had in years, and all he had to do was make sure he kept those demons in check. And he was trying. He was. He was trying really hard. ‘But don’t tell me you don’t find that one hell of a turn-on.’

Amber laughed again, throwing her head back as he ripped the covers away from her naked body before retreating into the en-suite, leaving her to stretch out on his ridiculously huge bed, taking in the view of the River Tyne from the floor-to-ceiling windows that lined one entire wall of Ryan’s bedroom.

Smiling to herself, she sat up and hugged her knees to her chest, still staring out at the early morning rush-hour traffic streaming across the Tyne Bridge as the sun began to rise. The dark skies were slowly turning lighter and she knew she’d have to make a move soon. As much as she’d love to hang around in Ryan Fisher’s bed all day, she had work to do. More’s the pity.

She was just fastening her watch onto her wrist when he walked up behind her, sliding his arms around her waist, his bearded chin resting on her shoulder. ‘You running away from me?’

‘I’ve got a proper job to go to,’ Amber half-smiled, turning her head slightly to kiss him quickly. ‘Unlike you, you part-timer.’

‘Ooh, fighting talk,’ Ryan laughed, squeezing her waist, making her giggle like some star-struck teenager. ‘Maybe you need to spend more time watching me train, huh? See exactly just what it is I do all day.’

She turned round, slipping her arms around his neck as he pulled her against him. ‘I know what you do all day, Ryan. I was brought up around footballers, remember? Although my dad swears blind you all get away with murder these days. He says in his day you wouldn’t have had it so easy.’

‘Oh, I see where you get that fighting talk from now, kiddo. Inherited from daddy, huh?’

She just smiled, kissing him slowly, loving the feel of his half-naked body against her clothed one. She would be the envy of so many women if they knew just how close she’d become to this famous footballer, but for now their relationship was pretty much a secret. Not deliberately so, but they weren’t going out of their way to advertise the fact, either.

‘Don’t work too hard, okay?’ she winked, reluctantly pulling away from him and grabbing her bag from the chair by the door.

‘Am I gonna see you later?’ he asked, a question he wasn’t really used to asking. Usually he called the shots in whatever relationships he was involved in, but this was so different to anything he’d ever been involved in before. And he suddenly felt a little vulnerable. Another unusual feeling in Ryan Fisher’s world.

‘Yeah. If you want to,’ Amber replied, stopping briefly by the door.

‘I want to,’ he smirked, pulling the towel he was wearing from around his waist, giving Amber one last look at something else Ryan Fisher was famous for.

‘Then later it is,’ she winked, closing the bedroom door behind her.

Ryan couldn’t help laughing, running a hand over the back of his neck as he looked down at the floor. She was good for him, Ms. Amber Sullivan. There was no doubt about that. Over the past few weeks he’d managed to break down some of those barriers she’d built up around herself and got to know the woman behind that ice-queen façade. Because that’s all it was. A façade. She was hiding from something, protecting herself from something and he didn’t know what, he wasn’t even sure he cared. He just knew that she was somebody he wanted to spend time with.

Pulling on his jeans and a t-shirt, he bent down to pick up his kitbag, accidentally knocking a jacket off the back of the chair in the process. He turned round quickly as something fell out of the pocket, clattering to the floor, rolling underneath the sideboard. He crouched down, stretching his arm out to pick up the object that had rolled under there, sliding it out across the dark-wood floor. Standing up, he leaned back against the sideboard, turning the rogue casino chip over and over in his fingers. It must’ve slipped into his pocket somehow the other night. Opening a drawer and quickly throwing it inside, he slammed the drawer shut and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes for a second. He hadn’t wanted to go, he really hadn’t. And he shouldn’t have gone. Max would go spare if he found out, but he was still the new guy at the club and he didn’t want to isolate himself by turning down nights out with the other lads. He wanted to fit in, and as much as Ryan didn’t want to think about it, he knew, deep down inside, that it was his desperate need to fit in that had caused all the shit in the past. But as far as Ryan was concerned, it wasn’t a step backwards. He’d been in control, he hadn’t done anything stupid. It wasn’t going to be like it had been before, so there was no need to panic, no need for anyone’s concern. This time he was completely in control. This time it would be different.

‘How’s it all going, then?’ Ronnie asked, folding his arms as he perched on the edge of Amber’s desk.

She looked at him briefly before continuing to tap away on her keyboard. ‘How’s what all going?’

‘You and Ryan Fisher.’

She swung her chair round to face him, crossing her legs and clasping her hands together in her lap. ‘Keep it down, will you? It isn’t public knowledge yet.’

‘Oh, I see. It’s a secret relationship then, is it?’

‘It’s not like that, Ronnie. We just don’t see the point in broadcasting it, that’s all.’

Ronnie sniffed. ‘That’s unusual, for Ryan. Usually he’s first in the queue to be papped when he’s got a new piece of arm candy to show off.’

Amber couldn’t help laughing. ‘Arm candy? Hardly, Ronnie.’

‘You’re not the usual type Ryan Fisher goes for, I have to say.’

Amber looked at her best friend. ‘Do you want to carry on? Give yourself a few more minutes and you might just get a touch more insulting.’

‘You know what I mean, Amber.’

‘I’m not sure I do, actually. Look, I really think he’s changed, Ronnie.’

‘Jesus, come on, Amber. What do you think you are? Some kind of miracle cure? You’re better than that. The likes of Ryan Fisher don’t change, it isn’t in him.’

‘Well, maybe people like you should try and give him a chance. Stop being so judgemental.’

Ronnie narrowed his eyes, looking at her as though he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. ‘Okay. You’re scaring me now. What’s caused this sudden turn-around in your opinion of one of football’s most arrogant pricks? A couple of dinner-dates and suddenly you think he’s a saint?’

‘Maybe I’ve just learnt not to judge a book by its cover.’

‘Yeah, but it’s not just the cover, though, is it, Amber? It’s backed up by everything that’s inside, too.’

Amber swung back around on her chair and started shutting down her laptop. She was tired and she needed to get home quickly tonight, shower, change, and then get herself over to the Tynebridge Stadium where she was covering a charity dinner for News North East that Newcastle Red Star were throwing. And it may be a night of working that lay ahead, but she still had to look good.

‘Look, Ronnie, it’s just a bit of fun, alright? And, if you remember, it was you who told me I should be having more of that.’

‘Yeah, but I don’t remember telling you to have it with Ryan Fisher.’

Amber smiled at Ronnie as she closed the lid of her laptop and stood up, slipping her coat on and grabbing her bag up off the floor. ‘You jealous?’

‘As if,’ Ronnie smirked, following her as she walked towards the lift that took them down to the underground car park. ‘You’re in a bit of a hurry, aren’t you?’

‘That’s because I’m in a rush. I’ve got to get home, shower, find something glamorous to wear and get my arse down to Tynebridge for seven-thirty. Kevin’s got me covering this charity dinner the club are throwing tonight.’

‘Oh, right. I’m off there, too. Quite a few ex-Red Star players are going to be there, so I gather. Your dad’s going, isn’t he?’

‘Yeah, he is,’ Amber replied, stepping into the lift, closely followed by Ronnie. ‘I wondered why you were back up north again.’

‘Well, somebody’s got to keep an eye on you, obviously,’ Ronnie winked, sticking his hands in his pockets as he leaned back against the wall. ‘So what’s your dad think about you getting involved with Ryan Fisher?’

‘He doesn’t know, yet,’ Amber said, standing by the lift doors as they opened slowly, stepping out into the underground car park, her heels click-clacking across the concrete floor as she walked quickly towards her car.

‘Christ, what have you and Fisher been doing all this time? Non-stop sex and no dates anywhere public?’

‘Pretty much, yeah,’ Amber smirked, flinging her bag into the passenger seat of her little Fiat 500.

‘Are you kidding me? Jesus, I go away for a couple of weeks and you turn into some sex-crazed cougar.’

‘Cheeky sod!’ she laughed, playfully punching his arm. ‘Look, we just didn’t see the point in advertising the fact we’re together, okay? Especially when we don’t really know what’s happening yet.’

‘So, it’s nothing serious, then?’

Amber leaned back against her car, folding her arms. ‘No, Ronnie. It’s definitely nothing serious.’

He stood beside her, copying her stance. ‘Good.’

Amber looked at him. ‘Why do you say that?’

‘Because this is Ryan Fisher we’re talking about here. Remember? And I care about you. I don’t want to see you get hurt.’

‘He won’t hurt me.’

‘Won’t he?’

She fixed Ronnie with a determined stare. ‘No. He won’t.’

Ronnie looked out across the cold and unfeeling car park, his arms still folded across his chest. ‘What about tonight?’

‘What about it?’ Amber asked, looking at her watch. She really was going to have to make a move in a minute or she’d never be ready in time.

‘Are you and Ryan going to spend the entire night avoiding each other so as not to let the cat out of the bag, so to speak?’

Amber shrugged, stepping away from the car and opening the driver-side door. ‘I guess we’ll just have to play that one by ear, won’t we?’

‘Whoa! Freddie Sullivan’s little girl really has grown-up, hasn’t she?’

Amber swung round, finding herself face-to-face with Newcastle Red Star’s new boss, Jim Allen. She’d successfully managed to avoid him for a few weeks now, but it looked like that had been nothing but a minor stay of execution. Although, if she thought she could get away with it, she’d turn and run straight to the Cooper Suite – where the dinner was being held – and forget this had ever happened.

The way his eyes looked her slowly up and down in the knee-length black sheath dress and matching stiletto-heeled ankle boots she was wearing made her feel more than a little uncomfortable, but, short of turning her back on him and walking in a completely different direction to where she needed to be, she had no choice but to speak to him. Even though it was the last thing she really wanted to do.

‘I’m thirty-seven, Jim. I grew up a long time ago. I had to. And you more than anyone should know that.’

There. It was done. She’d seen him, she’d spoken to him, that was enough. But as she turned to go he gently grabbed her arm, swinging her round to face him. ‘You look beautiful, Amber.’

Amber could feel her cheeks flush, her heart picking up the pace as far as beats were concerned. This wasn’t how she’d wanted the night to start. She had work to do, she didn’t need this.

‘I’m working, Jim.’

He reached out and touched her face, the palm of his hand resting lightly on her warm cheek as his green eyes looked right into hers. ‘It really is so good to see you…’

‘I don’t need this…’ She tried to walk away from him but he somehow managed to grab her hand, giving her no other option but to stop and face him again.

‘I’ve signed a four-year contract, honey, and considering your line of work, it’s gonna be pretty damn hard for you to avoid me forever.’

She stared into his eyes, wishing this wasn’t happening but knowing it had only been a matter of time. The second she’d heard Newcastle Red Star had appointed him as their new manager she’d known this day would come. She’d known she was going to have to face him again, after years of trying to forget he even existed. ‘And this… this relationship we have… We need to do something about that, don’t we?’

‘We don’t have a “relationship”, Jim.’

He smiled at her, that full-on, all-American smile that had made him one of the most lusted-after football managers by bored housewives and female football fans alike. To describe him as a good-looking son-of-a-bitch wouldn’t be too far from the truth, but Amber had messed with Jim Allen one time too many. And been hurt badly in the process. ‘Now, y’see, I don’t agree with you there, Amber. I think we have what people might call a “special” relationship, don’t you? Jesus, sweetheart, you are taking my breath away in that dress. I guess my baby girl really did grow up into a beautiful young woman.’

Amber felt her stomach turn, a sick feeling taking over. ‘I’m not your “baby girl”, Jim. Not anymore. And you don’t get to do this to me again, okay? You don’t…’

A door opening at the far end of the corridor made them jump apart, and Amber took that as her cue to walk away from him, her heart still thumping so hard inside her chest it hurt. She felt breathless, the need to compose herself before she entered the Cooper Suite a necessity now. So, taking a few long, deep breaths as she approached the huge double doors that led into the suite, she shook out her dark red hair, closed her eyes for a second just to make sure she was focused, and then made her way into the room.

It was crowded, and she craned her neck to see if she could find Ronnie, or her dad, or even Ryan, but she couldn’t see any of them. Not yet, anyway. So, moving away from the doors, she made her way to the bar, ordering herself a small glass of red wine. She was working, so it was minimum alcohol tonight. Unfortunately. Because that encounter with Jim Allen had shaken her slightly. Now that he was back up north she could feel that panic she’d tried to suppress for all those years well up inside her again; panic that people would find out just what had gone on, that her father would one day discover the truth. And she really didn’t want that to happen. He didn’t need to know, nobody did. It was enough that she had to live with the constant memories every time she saw him; she didn’t want her father to have to cope with that, too. Jim was a friend, a good friend of her dad’s. He had been for a long, long time. Although, if Freddie Sullivan knew exactly what had happened between Jim Allen and his daughter, he may not think he was such a good friend after all.

‘You look as though you need that.’

Amber swung round, a smile instantly lighting up her face when she saw him standing there, handsome and sexy in a dark grey suit and white shirt. The memories of the lunchtime sex they’d had at his flat just a few hours ago – the last time she’d seen him – made her stomach flip over and dance those ridiculous somersaults it seemed to dance every time he was around now, but that was good. She could cope with Jim Allen tonight knowing Ryan was around. Knowing she could go back to his place after all this was over and forget what had just happened.

‘Yeah. It’s a pity I’m here to work, though.’

‘Not all night, surely?’ Ryan asked, leaning back against the bar, his hands in his pockets.

‘Well, I think I’m allowed to have a little bit of fun,’ Amber smiled, sipping her wine. ‘Look, I know you don’t want anyone to know about us…’

‘I never said that, Amber. Did I?’ Ryan looked her straight in the eye and she felt a little shiver run right up her spine.

‘No. No, you didn’t.’

He looked out over the room as it began to slowly fill up with local celebrities, sportsmen, Red Star players past and present. He didn’t really want to be there, if he was honest. This kind of gig wasn’t his thing, but it came with the territory. And anyway, now that Amber was here things could only get better. ‘I kind of assumed it was you who didn’t want to tell the world you were with me.’

Amber looked at him. ‘Ryan, I… I don’t… What’s actually going on with us?’

‘Apart from great sex?’

‘Be serious, will you? My night hasn’t exactly got off to the best of starts so I don’t need…’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

She looked away for a second, catching the eye of Jim Allen as he walked into the room, her heart leaping about like it was on some kind of trampoline as he held her gaze, causing her to look away first. ‘No. I don’t want to talk about it.’

‘Amber…’

She took another, longer sip of wine, shaking out her hair as though that would rid her of all the negative energy seeing Jim Allen had created. ‘I want to be with you, Ryan. Okay? I don’t know what we have here, exactly, or even where it’s going. All I know is that I like being with you. I like being around you.’

‘I like being around you, too, Amber.’

She looked at him, slightly taken aback because she’d half expected him to run a mile. She wasn’t exactly telling him that she wanted to get married and have his babies, but considering the type of person Ryan Fisher was, what she’d just told him almost constituted a serious relationship. But that was the last thing either of them wanted. At the minute. ‘You do?’

He smiled, a smile which wiped all thoughts of Jim Allen clean away. For now. ‘Yeah. Jesus, Amber, I’ve never met anyone like you before, so don’t think for a minute I’m giving you up that easily. And besides, we’re having fun, aren’t we?’

‘Yeah. We are.’ She really wanted another drink but she’d just seen Kevin walk in, so she had a feeling best behaviour was going to be called for from now on. She really wished she didn’t have to work tonight. The last thing she felt like doing was mingling with a roomful of local celebrities, grabbing a word here and a short interview there. She just wasn’t in the mood. But that was what she was here to do. Whether she liked it or not.

The touch of Ryan’s hand on her hip made her turn her attention back to him as he gently swung her round to face him. ‘Wanna give them something to talk about?’ he grinned, and Amber couldn’t help but grin back. Why did he make her feel sixteen again? And was that ultimately a good thing? She’d done a lot of things at sixteen she hadn’t been proud of, and it wasn’t a place she particularly wanted to revisit. Even though circumstances could mean she had no choice.

‘I really don’t know what I’m getting myself into with you, Ryan Fisher. But do you know what? I’m tired of being sensible, boring Amber. I’m tired of being serious all the time. I need some fun, before I forget how to have it.’

‘Sounds like a plan to me,’ Ryan smiled, pulling her against him, kissing her slowly. And maybe it wasn’t the wisest of places in which to make their relationship public, but it was done now. They couldn’t exactly press rewind.

‘Okay, handsome. As much as I’d like to stay here with you, I’ve got work to do.’ She looked over towards Kevin, who was staring back at her with raised eyebrows and an expression that asked ‘Is there something you want to tell me?’

‘You coming back to mine later?’ Ryan asked, reluctantly letting her go. She looked incredible tonight in that tight black dress and those killer heels. Although he had no doubt that he’d rather see that dress down around her ankles. She could keep the heels on, though. Jesus, that image was giving him a hard-on he was going to have put back in the box until later.

‘Yeah,’ Amber smiled, shaking her hair out again, quickly running her fingers through it. ‘You bet I am.’

Leaving him standing by the bar, she walked over to Kevin, who was still looking at her with raised eyebrows and a surprised expression.

‘If the wind changes you’ll stay like that,’ Amber pointed out, taking a glass of something sparkling from the tray of a passing waiter. Sod it. One more drink wouldn’t hurt.

‘How long has that been going on?’ he asked, jerking his head in the direction of Ryan.

She took a sip of what tasted like champagne. ‘Long enough.’

‘Shit! Amber!’

‘What? What difference does it make to you? You said it wouldn’t hurt if I got closer to Ryan Fisher.’

‘I didn’t say shag him for news stories, did I?’

‘Oh, you think I’m with him purely to get you scoops from the sporting world?’

‘No, of course not…’

‘I’m joking, Kevin. Look, it’s just a bit of fun, alright? It won’t affect my work, I’ll be professional at all times – when I need to be – and if there is any juicy news from the world of football that I think we should know about, I’ll make sure Ryan tells us first, alright?’

Kevin looked at her, his eyebrows thankfully returning to their normal position. ‘You’re a dark horse, Amber Sullivan. I always thought you and footballers…’

‘Yes, well, you know what thought did.’ She took another sip of champagne and scanned the room, noticing her dad deep in conversation with Jim Allen. Her stomach momentarily lurched again as his eyes briefly met hers, a million memories flooding her head that she quickly pushed aside. She turned her attention back to Kevin. ‘Right. I’d better start mingling then, hadn’t I? Is Alec here with the camera yet?’

‘He’s just setting up,’ Kevin replied. ‘I’ll give you a shout when he’s ready. Go on. Go talk to your dad for five minutes.’

Amber watched Kevin walk away, reluctant to go over to her dad while Jim was still around.

‘So, it’s all official then?’ Ronnie asked, sidling up beside her, a pint in one hand, the other stuffed deep in the pocket of his black suit trousers.

‘Why is everybody suddenly making me feel like I’m twelve years old? I’m thirty-frigging-seven, and Ryan isn’t my first boyfriend.’

‘Touchy,’ Ronnie smirked, taking a sip of lager.

Amber nudged him, unable to stop herself from smiling. ‘Fuck off, Ronnie.’

‘Nice. Does your new boyfriend know what comes out of that mouth?’

‘He’s more concerned with what goes in it,’ she winked, walking away from him, finally plucking up the courage to go over to her dad.

‘Oh, that’s ladylike, Amber. That’s very ladylike,’ Ronnie shouted after her. Amber just gave him a dismissive wave over her shoulder as she walked away, trying not to let the sick feeling in her stomach take over as she approached her dad, who was still talking to Jim Allen.

‘Amber,’ Freddie Sullivan said, giving his daughter an almost stern look. Was he really going to start lecturing her on boyfriends? At her age? Really? ‘Jim tells me you two have already caught up with each other?’

She looked over at the handsome American. He might be forty-eight years old now but he hadn’t lost any of those good looks that had made him the pin-up player of his day. If anything, he’d only got better looking. ‘Yeah. We have. Briefly.’

‘And I’ve told her she’s looking beautiful tonight,’ Jim smiled, a smile loaded with more meaning than Amber cared to think about. ‘Your new boyfriend really is one very lucky man.’

Amber swallowed hard, trying desperately to keep the smile on her face, although she wasn’t altogether sure it had travelled to her eyes.

‘Don’t you go wearing him out now,’ Jim winked. ‘We’ve got a big match this weekend. I’d hate our star player to be – tired.’ He turned away from her and smiled at her father. ‘I’ll catch you later, Freddie. Good to see you again, after all this time.’

‘You too, Jim.’

Amber watched him walk away, swallowing hard again before she looked at her dad, sighing the second she saw his expression. ‘Jesus, Dad, come on. Don’t start, alright?’

‘I’m not going to lie and say I’m happy about this, Amber.’

‘I don’t need your approval.’

‘Maybe not, but he’s eleven years younger than you…’

‘And what’s that got to do with anything?

‘Ryan Fisher is trouble, kiddo. And you know that as well as I do. He’s trouble, and that concerns me when I suddenly find out that my daughter is involved with him.’

‘Y’know, contrary to belief, I’m all grown-up now. I think I can handle Ryan Fisher.’

‘I hope so. I really hope so. Because I don’t want to have to be the one to pick up the pieces when he fucks up.’

‘Dad…’

‘You might not be my little girl anymore, Amber, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying about you. So just be careful, okay?’

Amber sighed again, looking up at the ceiling for a few seconds as she heard Kevin’s voice calling her over, grateful for the well-timed distraction. ‘I’ve got work to do, Dad. I’ll catch you later.’

‘Are you fucking kidding me?’

Amber swung round as she heard that American accent behind her. She’d thought nobody had noticed her sneak off for a sly cigarette, donated by a News North East colleague – the kind of night she’d had so far had caused her to revive her old smoking habit – but she’d been wrong. Some people had quite obviously been watching her more closely than others.

‘I’m busy, Jim.’

He grabbed her arm again, almost dragging her round the corner to a quiet area behind the stadium, pushing her back against the wall. ‘Ryan fucking Fisher?’

She stared into his eyes. Maybe facing him head-on was the only option she had left now. Avoiding him obviously wasn’t working. ‘And that’s got how much to do with you, exactly?’

‘I’m his fucking manager, honey. So what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with is very much my business.’

She couldn’t help laughing. Was he serious? ‘Bullshit, Jim!’ She pushed him away and he staggered back slightly, quickly composing himself, straightening his jacket collar, his eyes meeting hers once again. But she was standing her ground. ‘Fucking bullshit!’

He laughed, too, a deep, almost sinister laugh, moving closer to her again, reaching out to stroke her cheek with his fingertips. ‘Your dad’s none-too-pleased about your new – boyfriend, I gather.’

She made no attempt to remove his hand. She made no attempt to move at all, her eyes still staring into his. Eyes she hadn’t stared into for almost two decades now. For good reason.

‘But then, I’m sure daddy wouldn’t be too pleased if he knew what me and his little girl had got up to. His baby. You were so young, Amber…’

‘I was too young, Jim.’

‘I never once heard you say no, honey. Not once.’

‘I’d just turned sixteen,’ Amber whispered, her stomach turning over and over as he moved ever closer, his thumb now running over her slightly open mouth, and Amber wished with all her heart that she wasn’t feeling the things she was feeling right now.

‘And you were beautiful. You were so beautiful. And you’re even more beautiful now…’

‘Why did you come back here, Jim? You promised me, you said you would never come back here once your playing days were over.’

‘Promises are made to be broken, Amber. And you can’t expect me to turn down the opportunity of a lifetime now, can you? Expecting me to turn down this job just because you don’t want me around anymore, that’s pretty selfish, don’t you think?’

She closed her eyes as his fingers continued to stroke her skin, moving down over her neck, her shoulders, trailing slowly along her collarbone. ‘Please, don’t do this to me, Jim. Don’t do this. I can’t go there again. What you did to me…’

‘I was in love with you, Amber. I was in love with you for so long…’

She shook her head, trying desperately not to cry now. She’d tried so hard for so many years to forget her teenage affair with this handsome American who’d swept her off her feet and made her feel like a princess. She’d tried to forget the first time he’d made love to her, just days after her sixteenth birthday. He’d been this twenty-seven-year-old, incredibly charming, drop-dead gorgeous footballer who’d made her feel like the most special person in the world. But he’d also been the man who’d told her they had to keep their relationship a secret because nobody would understand, and she’d never questioned that because, back then, she would have done anything for him. Anything.

For almost two years her life had been a whirlwind of daydreams and fantasies as she’d studied for her A Levels and he continued to be a footballing god, becoming one of Red Star’s most successful players ever. They’d snatched secret meetings together at a city centre apartment at any opportunity, making love and talking about the future, but it was a future she soon found out he’d had no intention of spending with her.

The day his relationship with a local model hit the headlines was the day Amber had left the North East to go and study for her degree in Manchester. She’d needed to get away. She’d needed that distance in order to cope, because coping wasn’t something she’d dealt with all that successfully at the time. How could she possibly have stayed in the North East with Jim a major player at Red Star, flaunting his beautiful new girlfriend all over the place? This stunning new couple that everybody was talking about. He’d used her as nothing but a plaything, something with which to amuse himself until he’d found the girl he’d really wanted. And it had shattered Amber. Because she’d been convinced, absolutely convinced, that he’d meant every word he’d said to her. How stupid had she been?

After finishing university she’d moved back to the North East, finally believing she was over Jim Allen. Had it hurt to see him again? Had it hurt to go home and find him there, at her parents’ house? Smiling at her as though he hadn’t been the one to take her precious virginity, lie to her, and then walk away the second he’d got bored? Yeah. It had hurt like hell. So why, then, did she just erase all those bad memories and replace them only with the beautiful ones she remembered? The ones where he’d hold her in his arms and touch her in a way she could only ever have dreamt about before? Why did she forget the lies and the secrets and the hurt he’d put her through? Why did she do that? Because Jim Allen had got under her skin, embedded himself there like some kind of permanent tattoo that she couldn’t remove, no matter how much she wanted to. And to get home and find out that his relationship had ended, that his girlfriend had left him for a musician she’d met on a modelling shoot, that was the news Amber had wanted to hear for so long. The news that Jim Allen was free again. Everything else – the past, the lies, all the hurt and the pain, none of that had mattered. All that mattered was that he was back in her life. It hadn’t bothered her that he’d still been determined to keep everything a secret, to hide their relationship away like something seedy and sordid. She wasn’t that naive sixteen-year-old who’d had her head turned by a handsome face and empty promises, she wasn’t that person anymore, so why hadn’t she questioned the secrecy second time around? Why hadn’t she done that? Because she’d been blinded by an obsession that had taken her over, that’s why. And once again she’d believed everything he’d told her. She’d believed that, this time, there was a future for them, that they did have something worth fighting for. And it had been worth it just to have him back where she’d always wanted him – back in her life, back in her bed, back making love to her in a way that made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Jim Allen was addictive. Jim Allen was dangerous. Jim Allen had the ability to hurt her all over again, so when it came out that he was involved with a famous soap actress, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise to Amber. She should have known it was going to happen all along. But when he tossed her aside a second time it was still as much of a shock as it had been first time around. Yet still she couldn’t tell a soul. She couldn’t tell anyone why her heart was breaking all over again, why she refused invitations from friends to go out and have fun in the pubs and clubs of Newcastle, like any normal young girl in their twenties. She couldn’t tell them that she didn’t want to meet some random boy in a bar. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want some meaningless relationship – yet, in reality, wasn’t that exactly what she’d had with Jim?

That was when she’d thrown herself into her work, deciding to carve out a career in sports reporting rather than having fun and finding love. She’d already found love, and look where that had got her. She couldn’t go through that again. It was then that Amber had made her decision never to become involved with footballers ever again. Despite what she’d told Ronnie, despite what she’d told anyone else, that decision had never really been about the Ryan Fishers of this world. She could handle them – the arrogant, cocksure bastards who thought everything revolved around them. They were just little boys who earned far too much money and lived their lives in some kind of fantasy bubble. They weren’t a problem; she could deal with them. No, everything was Jim Allen’s fault. Everything. He was the reason she was a cold-hearted ice-queen. He was the reason she’d never had a decent relationship with any man for all these years. He was the reason she was shaken up and confused. He was the reason.

He’d seen out his professional playing days at Newcastle Red Star, and following his retirement he’d finally left the North East with his soap-star girlfriend to move down south and start his managerial career, giving Amber the distance she’d needed all over again. And he’d promised her, he’d told her that was it. If she didn’t want him to come back up north then he wouldn’t. He’d leave her in peace, let her move on with her life and, despite everything, that’s what she’d done. She’d moved on. But now he was back. Back in the North East, back in her life. Back to break her heart all over again?

‘You were never in love with me, Jim. Never.’

He shook his head, his eyes following the movement of his fingers as they traced the curve of her breasts, and Amber was unable to stop a small gasp of pleasure from escaping, even though she’d tried to do so by biting down on her lip.

‘You have no idea, Amber…’ He gave that low laugh again, his eyes back on hers. ‘You used to bite down on your lip when we made love, do you remember?’ His arm snaked around her waist, his hand sliding down to rest in the small of her back, his mouth moving closer to hers as he spoke. ‘I can still see it now. Your eyes would always be open because you liked to look at me, didn’t you? You liked to look at me when I pushed inside you. But you’d always bite down on that bottom lip of yours. Always.’

‘Please don’t do this,’ Amber whispered, afraid of what she might do now, afraid of what might happen because she hadn’t even thought about the consequences Jim Allen’s arrival back on Tyneside might have. She’d known she was going to have to face him again, but she hadn’t even thought about what could – what would – happen when she did. Thirty-seven years old and, even though she’d tried so hard to believe that she wasn’t, she was still as naive as that sixteen-year-old girl who’d believed every promise this man had broken. ‘Please.’

‘I didn’t just come back for this job, Amber.’

‘No.’ She shook her head again, silent tears now streaming down her cheeks, and as he leaned forward and brushed his lips over those tears, gently kissing them away, she felt her heart break into a million tiny pieces. ‘Don’t say that. Please, don’t say that.’

‘I’m a free agent, Amber. No ties, nothing holding me back. And I don’t believe for one second that this ridiculous relationship you have with Ryan Fisher is anything but a front…’

‘You don’t know anything,’ Amber said quietly, quickly brushing away fresh tears with the back of her hand. ‘Ryan… he’s not what everybody thinks he is. He’s changed.’

‘Are you really still that naive, Amber? Ryan Fisher doesn’t care about you, he never will. You’re the older woman, the novelty he hasn’t yet had a chance to try out. Believe me, honey, when he’s finished with you he’ll just toss you aside and move onto the next new toy.’

‘Like you did, you mean?’

Jim looked at her, right into her pale blue eyes that were still shining with tears yet, at the same time, were steely and cold. ‘I came back for you, Amber.’

‘No, you didn’t, Jim. Jesus, will you stop playing me again? This isn’t fair, you’re not being fair…’

‘I saw you with him, and it hurt. Okay? He’s a boy, Amber. A boy. And he’ll never love you, not like I can. Never.’

‘Who says I want love? After what you did to me why would I want to leave myself open to that kind of hurt again? Huh? Why would I want to do that? I’m having fun, Jim. For all those years I threw myself into my work as a way of forgetting you and what you did to me; I became obsessed with my career, with being the best at what I did, and in turn that made me into this cold, almost bitter person who trusted no one and let nobody past the barriers I had to put up. Because of what you did. So now I’m having fun, okay? I’m not in this to find love, or to find that perfect man, because he doesn’t exist. I’m just having fun.’

He pulled her against him, his hand still resting firmly in the small of her back, his mouth almost touching hers as he spoke, the smell of his aftershave overwhelming because it was the same aftershave he’d worn when they’d been together. Both times. He smelt the same, he felt the same; he sounded the same. But everything was so different.

‘I didn’t come back here purely for this job,’ he whispered. ‘Believe that.’

‘I don’t have to believe anything where you’re concerned, Jim.’

He smiled, a smile that sent Amber’s heart racing so fast she could almost feel the blood rushing through her veins, making her feel dizzy and slightly disorientated. ‘My baby girl,’ he whispered, gently stroking her hair. ‘My beautiful baby girl.’

Amber had lost all control now. He was too close, he was far too close and she couldn’t stop him, couldn’t stop it from happening. Before she’d even had a chance to realise what was going on, his mouth was touching hers in a kiss that sent her heart racing even faster, a kiss so beautiful, so full of memories that it made her cry all over again, hot, fresh tears soaking his skin as well as hers. But she couldn’t pull away; she didn’t want to. Not at first, anyway. His mouth was soft against hers, moving slowly as he kissed her long and deep, his hand resting on her damp cheek as she held him close – this man who’d hurt her so badly. This man who’d walked back into her life as though nothing had happened.

But then reality kicked in. All the memories of the pain and the tears, the nights she’d lain in bed crying her heart out, falling to pieces because she’d loved him so much, the humiliation enough to make sure she’d never, ever told a soul about what had happened between them. All that hurt came flooding back like a tidal wave, crashing over her with a force so overwhelming it was as if someone had just turned on a light and all of a sudden she could see exactly what was going on.

Pulling away from him, she pushed him backwards, with a much harder force this time, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as she looked him right in the eye. ‘You don’t get to do this to me a third time, Jim. You don’t get to do that.’

And with that she walked away from him, back inside, back to the life she’d been trying to get on with before he’d walked back into it.

‘Everything okay?’ Ryan asked as she joined him at the bar.

She looked at him. ‘Have you been here all night?’

‘Who are you? My mother?’

‘Fuck you, Ryan. I’m not in the mood.’ She started to walk away from him, tired and desperate to forget this night had ever happened. But he wasn’t letting her get away that easily.

‘Hey, come on.’ He gently took her hand, swinging her back round to face him. ‘What’s up with you, huh? You’ve been tense all night. Is there something you want to tell me?’

‘Like what?’ she asked, her skin prickling as Jim Allen walked back into the Cooper Suite, looking every inch the charismatic character he’d become. Amber found it hard to believe he didn’t have some glamorous model or stunning pop star by his side. Past history showed that was the type he went for. The type he’d brushed her aside for.

Ryan narrowed his eyes as he caught the look she gave his manager. ‘Has something happened between you and the boss?’

Amber swung round to look at him, hoping to God that her expression gave nothing away. Ryan finding out about her teenage affair with his new manager would just put a lid on this crappy night. ‘No. No, of course not. Why – why would you ask that?’

‘He’s a family friend, isn’t he?’

Amber quickly ordered herself a large brandy, immediately taking a long sip, not looking at Ryan when she spoke. ‘Yeah. So?’

Ryan shrugged. ‘Nothing. But… the way you looked at him just then… it was a bit weird, that’s all. Maybe there’s a bit of history there, I don’t know…’

‘For fuck’s sake, Ryan, I’m just tired, alright? I’ve got people on my back because of who you are and what we’re doing, and technically I’ve been working since 7.30 this morning, so I’m just tired. Okay? Nothing else.’

Ryan held up his hands in surrender, smiling at her in the vain hope that it might calm her down. Having said that, though, she did look more than a little bit sexy when she was in a mood. And that could be beneficial when they got back to his apartment. Sometimes angry sex could be the biggest kick ever. ‘Okay, okay. I get it. Do you think sex’ll help sort you out?’

She looked at him, and she couldn’t help laughing, the effect of the brandy and his cocky sense of humour going a long way towards helping her relax. And forget. ‘Shit, Ryan. You have no idea how much I need you right now.’

‘Right now?’ he asked, arching an eyebrow.

She finished the last of her brandy and slipped her arms around his waist, kissing him quickly. ‘Well, as much as that might get you more headline space, and I know how much you adore the publicity, no. Not right now. But, if you’re willing to finish that drink as quickly as is humanly possible…’

He put his half-finished pint down on the bar and pulled her closer, tilting her chin up and kissing her back, a kiss so different to Jim’s, but a kiss she could quite easily get used to. ‘I’m done.’

She smiled, gently stroking the rough beard that covered his strong jawline with her fingertips. ‘And those are two words I don’t want to hear from you again for a good few hours, you got that?’

He smiled, too, his hand sliding down onto her backside as he kissed her again, the feel of her breasts pushing against him enough to make him realise they were finished here. It was time to go home. ‘I got it.’

‘Good,’ she whispered, playing with the collar of his jacket. ‘Then let’s get out of here.’