Читать книгу Royal Seductions: Diamonds: The King's Convenient Bride - Michelle Celmer, Michelle Celmer - Страница 12

Seven

Get a grip, Hannah, she told herself, since her heart was about to pound clear through her chest. It’s not like he’s naked.

But darn close.

A pair of Egyptian cotton pajama bottoms rode low on Phillip’s hips as he opened the door. Other than that, all she was able to comprehend, to process, was the ridiculous amount of muscle she was seeing.

Wide, ripped shoulders and bulging biceps. Lean hips and toned, defined abs. And she could only imagine what was under the pajamas. In fact, she was imagining it.

She was so stunned silly by his perfect physique, it took a moment to register that he was speaking to her.

She peeled her eyes from his flawless pecks, located his face, and uttered a very eloquent, “Huh?”

Amusement danced in the depth of his eyes. “I said, is there something wrong?”

“Wrong?”

“Why are you here?”

Think, Hannah. Why did you come all the way down here? Then she remembered the jacket still hanging from her left hand. “No. Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to give this back to you.”

She held the jacket out to him, and he took it.

“Is that it?” he asked.

“Yes.” She shook her head. “No.”

He leaned in the door frame, arms folded across his chest, waiting patiently for her to elaborate. And, boy, were his biceps huge. So thick and strong looking, like he could probably bench-press a compact car and not break a sweat.

Did it suddenly get a lot hotter in here? Her cheeks were on fire and she was feeling just a little light-headed.

What was wrong with her? It wasn’t as if she had never seen a half-naked man before.

The biggest problem here wasn’t that she was wary of what she was seeing. Instead, she felt a very real and intense desire—no, not desire, need—to put her hands all over him.

She locked them together behind her back. Just to be safe.

“Are you all right?” he asked, though he looked more amused than concerned.

“Yes. I just…” She shook her head again. “No. I’m not.”

“Maybe you should come in.” He opened the door wider and stepped aside.

You know you shouldn’t be doing this, she told herself. Their wedding was still more than a week away. It was one thing to flirt and steal a kiss here and there, but going into his suite, at this late hour. In her pajamas. And Phillip almost naked.

She was really pushing it.

So you just won’t let anything happen, she decided. It’s not as though she was a slave to her libido.

She had waited this long. She could wait a little while longer.

But the question was, could Phillip? And if he took matters into his own hands, would she find the strength to stop him?

Bad idea or not, she followed him inside. His sitting room was much larger than her own, and closer to the size of the one they would be moving into after the wedding. And it was undeniably masculine. Dark polished wood and dark patterned fabric in rich hues. But not so dark that it was dreary or threatening. In contrast, the effect was warm and welcoming.

“This is nice,” she said, ideas popping into her head of how she might incorporate both his and her individual styles to create a decor they could both be comfortable in.

See, she told herself, coming here was a good thing.

“So, what’s up?” he asked.

She turned to him, with every intention of meeting his eyes, but her gaze kept snagging slightly lower.

“Hannah?”

She pried her eyes from his torso and met his gaze. He was grinning again.

“If it would help get the conversation rolling, I could put on a shirt.”

Though she knew he was only teasing, her cheeks flamed with embarrassment. “Sorry.”

“No apology necessary. I’m flattered. But maybe you should tell me what’s wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“I asked if you were okay, and you said no.”

Had she? My goodness, he must have thought she was a total ditz. Now that she was here, she had no idea what to say to him. So she blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “My mother called.”

He didn’t seem to get the significance. “Is she okay?”

“She’s fine, she just…” Her voice cracked, and she realized, with horror, that tears burned the corners of her eyes. What was wrong with her? She was not a crier. She was tougher than that. Besides, she wasn’t that upset. More angry than sad.

“She just what?” he asked.

“She’s—” A half hiccup, half sob, worked its way up her throat and she battled to swallow it back down. “She’s getting married.”

Despite her resolve, the instant the words left her lips, the tears welled up over the edges of her lids and rolled down her cheeks. Mortified, she covered her face with her hands.

What was wrong with her? She should be spitting mad, not blubbering like a baby.

Then she felt Phillip’s arms go around her, draw her against him, and something inside her seemed to snap. Every bit of tension and anger that had built inside her let go in a limb-weakening rush and she all but melted against him.

“You think it’s too soon?” he asked. “For your mother to remarry, I mean.”

Because she wasn’t sure her voice was steady enough for a verbal reply, she nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She shook her head. Just knowing he was there for her if she needed him was enough right now.

He didn’t say anything else. He just held her and stroked her hair. She held on tight, her face pressed to his warm, bare skin, and concentrated on taking slow, deep breaths, until she felt the tears begin to work their way back down. Apparently, this was exactly what she’d needed. How did he always seem to know exactly what to do and say to make her feel better?

“You okay?” he asked.

She nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“For barging in on you like this. And getting all wishy-washy and emotional.”

“It’s okay.”

“I don’t usually do this. I’m not a crier. It…it’s just been a really stressful couple of days.”

“I can imagine.”

“Bringing the jacket back was just an excuse,” she admitted, and could swear she felt him smile.

“I know.”

She looked up at him. Of all the women in the world that he could have had, why did he pick her? “I guess I just… I guess I was lonely.”

He touched her cheek, brushing away the last remnants of the tears with his thumb.

“All day I have appointments and meetings, and sometimes I just can’t wait to be alone, to have a minute to myself. But then, when I’m finally alone, I feel so…isolated. Does that make sense?”

“Trust me, I know exactly what you mean. And you get used to it. I promise.”

Maybe she didn’t want to get used to it. She wanted them to be a regular family. She wanted it so bad she ached deep in her heart.

“I was going to wait until tomorrow to tell you this,” he said. “My sister invited us to dinner at her residence tomorrow evening.”

“Really?”

“I hope you don’t mind, but I told her we would be there.”

Mind? She was absolutely ecstatic. They would finally share a meal together. Like a real family. Not to mention that she had been eager to get to know her future sister-in-law. “I would love to.”

She was so happy, she nearly burst into tears again. Instead, she rose up on her toes and kissed him. Just a quick, sweet kind of kiss, so he would know how much it meant to her.

But it felt so nice, so…perfect, she kissed him again. This one lasting just a little longer than the first. She felt his arms tighten around her, the flex of his back where her hands rested.

And because the second one was even better than the first, she kissed him again.

And again.

And then she couldn’t stop.

Phillip had Hannah exactly where he wanted her. Her body pressed against him, her arms circling his neck, hands tangled in his hair. And her mouth—damn, what she could do with her mouth. He had never been with a woman who kissed so…earnestly.

He could have her tonight if he wanted, before the wedding, just as he’d planned. So, why did it feel wrong? As if he were somehow betraying her trust?

Since when did he care about anyone but himself?

He wouldn’t be having this problem, this case of an overactive conscience, if she wasn’t so damned honest all the time. If she didn’t walk around with her heart on her sleeve.

He’d told her, just this afternoon, that her honesty would get her into trouble, and she insisted that honesty was a good thing. Well, it was looking like maybe she was right.

Yet here he was, kissing her, touching her, when what he should be doing was telling her no. But, damn, she felt good.

Maybe she didn’t understand the consequences of her actions. Maybe if he pushed just a little further, tempted her just a little bit more, she would realize what she was doing and put on the brakes.

Maybe he could make her tell him no.

He let his hand slide down her back, slowly. Over the dip of her waist, the curve of her hip. Then he went lower, cupping the soft swell of her behind. She whimpered softly, but didn’t attempt to pull away. He took it one step further, pulling her against him, so she would feel exactly what all of this fooling around was doing to him. And, hell, she felt amazing. All soft and warm and sweet smelling. And rather than deter her, his actions seemed only to fuel her determination.

She drew her nails across his skin, arched and rubbed herself against him, and he couldn’t stop the husky sound of need that welled up from his chest.

She had given every indication that she was a virgin, but now he wasn’t so sure. And he didn’t know how he felt about that. He liked the idea that she would be his alone.

Her hands were on his shoulders, his chest, traveling slowly downward, in the direction of his waistband. A few more inches, and he wouldn’t be able to stop.

Virgin or not, how could he, in good conscience, deny Hannah what she told him she wanted—the privilege of waiting for her wedding day?

The truth of the matter was, as good as this felt, as much as she seemed to want this, he couldn’t.

He broke the kiss and backed away, leaving her flush and out of breath. And honestly, he wasn’t faring much better. “We have to stop.”

Her cheeks were red, her voice husky with desire. “Why?”

“Because you don’t want this.”

“Yes, I do. I want us to make love.”

She tried to kiss him again, to touch him, but he manacled her wrists in his hands. “No, you don’t. You’re upset, and it’s affecting your judgment.”

“I’m not upset. Honestly.”

“Hannah, if we let this happen, you’ll regret it.”

“I won’t.”

“It’s only a week.” He could hardly believe what he was saying. That he was the one talking her out of sex. He must have been completely out of his mind.

Her expression said she was thinking the same thing. “Today, next week. What’s the difference?”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Phillip, I want this. Tonight. Right now.”

She tugged against his grip, but he didn’t let go. She could beg and cajole until she was blue, and he still wouldn’t change his mind. And the worst part was that this was all his fault. He had driven her to this by shutting her out of his life.

He’d thought that, by keeping her at a distance, he was doing her a favor. So she wouldn’t get too attached. He could see now that he was only making her miserable. She had left everything familiar to move to a strange country with people she didn’t know, and he’d welcomed her by shutting her out. It’s a wonder she hadn’t packed up and headed back to America.

Sophie was right. He was an idiot.

At the risk of hurting her feelings yet again, he said the only thing he could to get his point across. “Maybe you want it, but I don’t.”

Phillip’s words splashed over her like a bucket of ice water. Was he actually telling her no? He was a man, and didn’t all men inherently want sex? She thought he would jump at the chance.

He let go of her wrists and she took an unsteady step backward. “You’re serious?”

“Believe me when I say, I’m just as surprised as you are.”

This didn’t make sense. He was turned on. All she had to do was look at the front of his pajamas and she could see how aroused he was. Why didn’t he want her? “Did I do something wrong?”

“Oh, no. You did everything right.”

“Then, why?”

He shook his head, dragged a hand through his hair. “I respect you too much to let you do this.”

She was so stunned, it took a second for the meaning of his words to sink in.

It was probably one of the sweetest, most wonderful things anyone had ever said to her.

And he was right. If they had made love tonight, she would have regretted it. She was feeling emotional and upset, and she was letting it cloud her judgment.

She wanted to feel close to someone. And she just naturally assumed that, by sleeping with him, she would bring them closer together. But as important as sex was in a relationship, it was still just sex. The other stuff mattered a whole lot more.

Like the fact that he cared enough about her to stop her from making the biggest mistake of her life. What more could she possibly ask for?

“Waiting one more week isn’t going to kill us,” he said. “Is it?”

She bit her lip and shook her head. Not after waiting twenty-six years. And she didn’t miss the irony that it had been her saying the exact same thing to him less than a week ago. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about. I should be more attentive.”

“You’re busy. I understand that.”

“But not so busy that I can’t have dinner with my fiancée occasionally.”

He touched her hair, brushing it back from her face. “So much has been expected of you, but you’ve received little in return.”

The last thing she wanted was for him to think she was ungrateful. “I’m well aware of the fact that my position will require a certain amount of sacrifice.”

“I’m just not used to sharing my time,” he admitted.

Or his feelings, she was guessing. And considering the environment he was raised in, it’s no wonder. With a mother that cold, and a father whose mistresses were common knowledge, who wouldn’t grow up learning to hide their emotions?

But she knew with time she would be able to draw him out of his shell. She would make him see that it was okay to trust his feelings, to let his guard down. It would just take time.

“I’ll try not to be overly demanding,” she said. Like her mother could often be. “I’ll try to give you the space you need.” Phillip nodded, although she couldn’t help noticing he made no promises in return.

She could see that making this marriage work was going to be a lot harder than she anticipated.