Читать книгу Christmas On Crimson Mountain - Michelle Major, Michelle Major - Страница 11

Chapter Four

As it turned out, April could have promised silence to Connor on the way into town. Neither of the girls spoke as they made the slow drive down the curving mountain road. Glancing in the rearview mirror, April saw that Ranie kept her gaze firmly out the window, although the girl seemed lost in her thoughts rather than intent on the view. Shay couldn’t seem to take her eyes off Connor, who was sitting still as a statue next to April. The little girl was studying him as if he was a puzzle with a missing piece.

Two missing pieces, she thought. She’d endured losses in life but couldn’t imagine the pain he must have felt losing his wife and son. The need to comfort and care for him crawled up her spine, coming to rest at the base of her neck, uncomfortable and prickly like an itch she couldn’t quite reach. That inclination in her was her greatest strength and biggest weakness, but mixed with her body’s reaction to Connor, it was downright insanity.

Sara was forever trying to find a man for April. It had become her friend’s singular mission to see April happy and in love. April had gone on dates with a few nice men, but ended things before they got remotely serious.

She’d been in love once, thought she and her ex-husband had been happy, but understood now that was only an illusion. When her marriage had ended, she’d vowed never to make herself vulnerable to anyone again. She’d convinced herself she was content on her own. It had been easy enough to believe, especially since she hadn’t felt the heavy pull of physical desire for a man since her divorce.

Until a rushing awareness of the man next to her had buried all of her hard-won peace in an avalanche of need and longing she could barely process.

As if sensing the thread of her tangled thoughts, Connor shot her a glance out of the corner of his eyes. Barely a flicker of movement, but she felt it like an invisible rope tugging her closer. His gaze went back to the road after a second, and she noticed his knuckles were white where his fingers gripped his dark cargo pants. He was nervous, she realized, and somehow that chink in his thick, angry armor helped her regain her composure.

There was so much sorrow and loss swirling through this car, and it was up to her to ease the pain. Christmas was a time for joy and hope, and she was going to give a little bit of it to these three people under her care.

“I forgot to turn on the radio,” she said, making her voice light.

Ranie groaned from the backseat. “Not more corny holiday music.”

April flipped on the radio and the SUV’s interior was filled with a voice singing about grandma and a reindeer. “That’s called karma,” April told the girl with a laugh. “You said ‘corny’ and that’s what we’ve got.” She sang along with the silly song for a couple of bars and felt her mood lighten. Maybe it was so many winter breaks spent working retail during high school and college, but holiday music always made her feel festive.

“Santa and his reindeer fly,” Shay said brightly as the song ended. “Why would the grandma get run over if she was walking?”

“Kid has a point,” Connor muttered.

April smiled at his grouchiness because at least he was talking and he’d loosened his death grip on his pant legs. “Maybe it was when Santa’s sleigh was taking off after delivering presents,” she told Shay, “so he was still on the ground.”

“But shouldn’t he take off from the roof?” Shay asked.

She glanced at Connor for help. He arched his brow and didn’t say anything.

April turned off the mountain road onto the two-lane highway that led toward downtown Crimson. She met Ranie’s gaze in the rearview mirror as she pulled up to a stop sign at the bottom of the hill.

The girl rolled her eyes, then looked at her sister. “Maybe they didn’t have a chimney at their house,” she said, her tone gentler than April would have expected from the sullen tween. “And Santa was parked in the backyard. Remember how Mom told you he’s magic? That’s how he can deliver all the toys and find kids even if they’re visiting family for Christmas.”

“So even though we’re not with Aunt Tracy in Hawaii, he’ll know to find us in Colorado?”

Ranie nodded. “Yep. Besides, it’s just a song, Shay. Santa wouldn’t really run over someone’s grandma.”

“Thanks, Ranie.” The young girl reached over and took her sister’s hand. April saw Ranie’s eyes close as her chest rose and fell with a breath so weighty it was a wonder the girl’s shoulders didn’t cave under it. April wanted to cry for the unfairness of a twelve-year-old who was her sister’s emotional anchor.

Tears wouldn’t help these girls. But holiday spirit might. She turned up the volume for a classic remake of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” and sang the part that Margaret Whiting had made famous. “Want to be the man?” she asked, glancing at Connor as she eased onto the exit for downtown.

“I am a man,” he answered, his tone grumbly.

“She meant in the song, silly,” Shay called from the backseat.

“I don’t know the words.”

“April knows the words to all the Christmas songs,” Shay said.

“It’s like a curse,” Ranie added.

One side of his mouth curved.

“What’s your favorite holiday song, Connor?” April asked, slowing the car as they hit the steady stream of traffic that bottlenecked Crimson’s main street throughout the winter ski season.

He gave her a look like she’d just asked whether he wanted his hands or feet cut off first.

“Everyone has a favorite song,” she insisted. “Shay’s is ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ and Ranie’s is...” She paused, holding her breath.

“‘Silent Night,’” the girl said on an annoyed huff of breath.

April didn’t bother to hide her smile. “Give it up, Connor. I’m guessing you’re not the ‘Rocking Around the Christmas Tree’ type. If I had to pick—”

“‘O Holy Night,’” he told her.

“Nice choice,” she said with a smile then turned her attention back to the road. She found a parking space a couple of blocks off Main Street. The snow was packed down on the roads, but the sidewalks had been cleared. “The lighting of the big tree in the town square was last week, so we missed that,” she said as Connor and the girls got out of the car. “But the stores are all decorated so it’s fun to shop and—”

“It’s never fun to shop,” Connor said, glancing around at the historic buildings and painted Victorian storefronts that made up downtown Crimson. “This place looks like a movie set.”

April smiled. “It’s beautiful, right?”

“It looks fake,” he corrected.

She started to narrow her eyes, then forced an even brighter smile on her face. “The best part about Crimson is that it’s not fake. This is a real town filled with people who love the holidays. It’s a wonderful place to live.”

Shay returned her smile. “I like it.”

April felt a pang of guilt at the hope in the girl’s eyes. “Of course, California is a wonderful place to live, too. Your aunt Tracy—”

“Can we just go?” Ranie asked, stomping her boots against the sidewalk. “I’m going to freeze to death if we stand around any longer.”

“Right.” April took a breath. “Let’s check out a few of the shops.” She tugged gently on one of Shay’s braids. “There’s a great little toy store around the corner.”

Shay slipped her hand into Connor’s as they started down the sidewalk. “We’ll need lots of games and toys so we don’t bug you when you’re writing the book.”

Connor’s jaw tightened and April watched him try to pull his hand out of Shay’s, but she held tight. “Um...okay.”

“You should probably buy us extra. That way we’ll be really quiet.”

“If that’s what it will take,” Connor said around a choked laugh.

A laugh. It was like music to April’s ears.

“And Ranie wants a new iPad.” Shay was skipping now. “If they have those.”

“Connor is not buying your sister an iPad,” April said quickly.

Ranie glanced back at Shay. “Nice try, though.”

They got to the front of the toy shop, and Shay let go of Connor’s hand to press her fingers to the glass. “It’s a winter wonderland,” she said, her tone rapturous.

It was true. The toy store had one of the best window displays in town. It was a mini version of Santa’s workshop, with elves positioned around a large table filled with wooden trains and boats and stuffed bears and smiling dolls. Above that scene a sleigh pulled by tiny reindeer was suspended from the ceiling and, from one side, Santa Claus watched the whole scene.

“They have holiday decorations in California,” Ranie muttered.

“But it seems more Christmasy when it’s cold and snowy,” Shay said, and sighed happily. “Like this is a place Santa Claus would live.”

Connor cleared his throat. “You know Santa really—”

Ranie stomped on his foot at the same time April elbowed him.

“Hey,” he yelled, wincing.

“What were you going to say about Santa?” Shay asked, turning from the window.

“I was going to say that Santa lives at the North Pole.” He threw a look to April and then Ranie.

“Sorry,” April whispered.

“But,” he continued, focusing on Shay. “I’m sure Crimson is one of his favorite stops on Christmas Eve.”

She nodded, serious. “So he’ll find us even though we’re not with Mommy or Aunt Tracy?”

“He’ll find you,” he assured the girl with a small half smile.

April’s heart pounded in her chest. Connor Pierce wasn’t as dead on the inside as he pretended to be. The way he looked at Shay convinced her his heart wasn’t totally broken. It could be fixed and, because it was her way, she wanted to fix it. To fix him.

The door to the shop opened, several mothers with a gaggle of small children between them spilling out. There was giggling and happy shouts as the group headed down the sidewalk.

“Let’s go in,” she said, and held the door. Shay ran through and Ranie followed. April glanced back at Connor. He looked as if he’d seen a ghost. His face had gone pale and the lines bracketing his mouth and eyes were, once again, etched deep.

“Are you okay?” She turned to call for Ranie and Shay, but they’d disappeared into the crowded store. “Let me find the girls and—”

“No.” He ran a hand through his dark hair. “I can’t go in there. I saw a sporting-goods store on the next block. I’ll meet you there.” He pulled out his wallet, grabbed a hundred-dollar bill and pressed it into her palm. “Buy them whatever the hell they want to shut them up.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but he was already striding away.

“What’s wrong with Connor?”

Ranie and Shay had returned to the open doorway, staring at April.

“He needed to...uh...”

“Get away from us,” Ranie supplied.

April shook her head and moved into the store. “No, that wasn’t it. We’ll meet up with him in a bit.”

“But I want him to help me pick out a game,” Shay said. It was the first time April had heard the young girl whine. “I like him.”

Ranie sniffed. “He doesn’t like—”

“Then let’s pick out some fun stuff,” April interrupted. “I’m sure he’ll want to see it all.”

Ranie rolled her eyes again but led Shay toward the wall of board and card games at the side of the store.

April sighed as she followed them, glancing over her shoulder, hoping to see Connor making his way through the other customers toward her. He wasn’t there. Suddenly, all of her hope and holiday spirit seemed insignificant in the face of his overwhelming grief.

* * *

Connor ducked into a narrow walkway between two buildings a few storefronts away from the toy shop. He pressed himself against the cold brick and tried to calm the nausea roiling through him. His legs trembled and his heart raced. He could barely catch his breath from the panic choking him.