Читать книгу Karma Couples - Michelle Robinson - Страница 2

Inspiration from Spirit:

Do not be afraid, for all that comes has already gone before you. The tides of life must flow, and to wish otherwise blocks the cycle of renewal to which you belong.

It was an overcast morning and heavy with Summer’s humid breath. Birds sang with what energy they could still muster by 8 am, and there was the promise of an afternoon storm.

I had never felt so afraid.

A cough sounded from the bedroom and the man of my dreams emerged- the man of my broken dreams whose bed I had sworn I would never share again. We were ex-partners, ex-lovers and exited from relationship, or so I had told myself. Yet here I was, in his house and about as far out on a limb as any petrified animal could crawl.

Thoughts like ‘What on earth were you thinking?’ and ‘Girl, you should run for your life!’ tumbled through my mind. I felt helpless and terrified at the same time. One theme drew these threads together and coursed through me like a stream.

‘I can’t go through this again!’

It was then, as I looked out of the living room window, I saw it. One lonely sunflower, straggly and untended grew on a patch of earth across the street. It stared at me in a silent challenge, urging me to wake up and recognise its signal.

And I did. My mind flashed back ten years to my first morning in a rented home after leaving my husband. That was another hot, sticky day, and with teenagers squabbling in the kitchen and the burden of a failed marriage on my conscience, I stepped into the front yard to catch a breeze. I’m not ashamed to admit I was crying. I had never felt so confused and sad. I had entered my marriage with the confidence our love would last a life time, but petty struggles had become major wars and the damage was enormous.

Keen to distance my tears from the kids, I walked towards an overgrown garden bed. It was a mess of weeds and prickles; yet, standing defiantly among the chaos was a single sunflower, fully in bloom, straining its heavy head towards the sky. The symbolism of its beauty and courage was not lost on me. Despite its surroundings, the sunflower just stood its ground, lifting its face to the sky, being the best it could be. I smiled through my tears in gratitude for its courage and its lesson. From that moment on, sunflowers became my personal emblem for endurance and faith.

Back in the present, it was as if a switch had turned on and I knew everything was going to be okay. Not okay in that glib, easy way of pretending that a painful past has never occurred. I’m not that naive, nor at forty- eight, was I that young. However, as I turned to see my companion calmly putting on the jug to make a cup of tea, and then turned again to look at the sunflower, something in me acknowledged the significance of the moment.

Everything had led us to this. The fading flush of first love, the loss and pain of separation, the coming together again, more than once, that was smashed by more pain and more separation- all these experiences led us here.

I paused, feeling strangely calm after the recent moments of fear. Could I really trust my emotional survival to a sunflower? Was my inner guidance calling me to be courageous one more time?

‘Are you ready for breakfast?’ I heard him ask with a newly found tenderness.

‘Yes.’ I replied. ‘But first you need to know why. Come to the window. I have something to share with you.’

And so, our real journey together began.