Читать книгу Straight To Heaven - Michelle Scott - Страница 10

Chapter Two

That afternoon, I lounged poolside while my neighbor, Vickie Ballard, filled me in on the neighborhood gossip. Grace and Ari, my niece, swam in the pool, doing their best to avoid Vickie’s three jet-fueled monsters who were splashing and screaming and generally raising hell.

Vickie had just been telling me about how Debbie Crenshaw from down the street was back in rehab, and how Casey Scarsdale from next door had another new boyfriend, and that Sue Bristol had caught her husband doing a live web chat while he was dressed in her lacy bra and panties.

I’d always been the queen bee of the neighborhood, but while it felt good to hold court with the neighbors again, I was hardly listening to Vickie. Vickie’s gossip was like an overly sweet dessert: tasty at first, but sickening after you’ve had your fill.

Annoyed that I wasn’t lapping up her precious tidbits of scandal and asking for more, Vickie went silent. She looked over the top of her sunglasses, her eyes traveling from the kidney-shaped pool, to the bricked patio and the extravagant landscaping, and then finally resting on the outdoor furniture that Pottery Barn had delivered the previous week. I could almost feel the vibrations from her buzzing brain as she tried to calculate the total cost.

“Looks like you’re doing pretty well for yourself, Lilith,” Vickie finally said. “You must have taken Ted to the cleaners in the divorce.”

Obviously, I couldn’t confess that I was working for the Devil. So, instead of telling every bit of the truth, I went for the abridged version. “My insurance company finally came through for me, and the payoff was very generous.” But only because Helen Spry had pulled a few strings on my behalf.

“Really,” Vickie said, impressed. “I wish I had your insurance policy.”

Yeah right, I thought. You couldn’t afford the premiums. She wouldn’t survive a day as a succubus. But I had to admit that although the job was awful, the benefits were terrific. The rebuilt house and the new pool were only part of the package. I also received a mysterious – and extremely generous – weekly deposit into my bank account. This was another reason why I had given in and embraced my role as a succubus. Being poor sucked. I was tired of worrying over every penny, having to return groceries because I didn’t have the money to pay for them, and avoiding phone calls from collection agencies. William had been right; I needed to get over my guilty conscience. Besides, I only tempted people to sin. Ultimately, the choice to do wrong was theirs.

Vickie smiled, but she was still in viper mode. “So what they say about karma must be true. Do something good, and good will come back to you.” She nodded at Ariel who was climbing out of the pool. My niece wore a Marilyn Manson T-shirt over her swimsuit and had used a black Sharpie to give herself an enormous skull-and-crossbones tattoo on her left cheek. “You took in that little juvenile delinquent, and the universe has gifted you with a lovely new house.” Karma might have been smiling on me, but Vickie wasn’t. “Let’s just hope she doesn’t burn this one down, too.”

I wanted to smack her with a really good comeback, but before I could, I felt a shiver in the air which meant someone from the otherworld was about to pay me a visit. This time, it wasn’t William but Patrick Clerk, Miss Spry’s assistant, who walked from the house and out onto the patio.

“Bon jour, Mr. Clerk!” Grace waved from the top of the water slide. This was another part of my new life: integrating my mundane existence with my supernatural one. No more sneaking around for me. Well, almost no sneaking around. Of course, no one knew the real reason why Mr. Clerk visited me, but hiding my otherworldly guests was too stressful. Grace and Ariel knew who Mr. Clerk was, they just didn’t know what I did for him.

“C’est la vie?” Grace asked. Now that I’d become rich again, I’d bought Grace the French horn that she’d so wanted. Since learning to play it, she had become fascinated with all things French. She ate brie, referred to every kind of bread as a baguette, and even wore a beret, despite the fact that Ariel made fun of her for it.

Mr. Clerk returned Grace’s question with a nod. “Trés bien.” Mr. Clerk, thin, gray-haired, and fussy, was dressed, as always, in white. White linen pants, perfectly creased, and a white T-shirt with a pair of dark glasses hanging from the neckline. He glowered at Ariel when she splashed him. “Lilith, we need to speak.”

“Who’s this?” Vickie asked.

“My, uh, insurance agent,” I said.

Mr. Clerk’s eyebrows shot up.

“Really?” Vickie lowered her sunglasses. “I didn’t know that insurance agents made house calls. Maybe I should change companies. What kind of policies do you offer?”

Mr. Clerk looked from Vickie to me and back again. There was a trace of panic in his eyes. I abruptly got out of my chair. “I’m sorry, Vickie, but I’ve got to go. Maybe you and your boys could stop by later in the week.”

Vickie took the hint, but she obviously wasn’t happy about it. She reluctantly got up and hollered at her boys to get out of the pool. “Thanks for the swim, Lil. We’ll be back.”

To my ears, that sounded like a threat.

After Vickie left, Mr. Clerk sighed as if he’d narrowly missed being run over by a truck. I told the girls to be careful in the pool and led my otherworldly guest into the house so we could talk. The French doors were hardly closed behind us before he fixed me with a steely look and said, “Miss Spry is very disappointed in you.”

Other than handing out my assignments, Mr. Clerk only visited for two reasons: to watch Real Housewives or to scold me. From the look on his face, it was clear that he wasn’t there to gossip about our favorite reality stars.

The kitchen was dim and so overly air-conditioned that I pulled my sarong up around my bare shoulders. Mr. Clerk appreciatively eyed my bathing suit, a pale-blue two-piece that showed off a large amount of skin. Believe me, this wasn’t because of how I filled it out. No, he was more interested in the fact that it was Versace. The man loved designer labels as much as I did.

He settled himself on a bar stool next to the counter. “Tell me everything that happened this morning.”

I took a cold Perrier from the fridge and offered it to him. When he declined, I poured some into a glass for myself, adding ice and a lime wedge. If I’d kept alcohol in the house, which I didn’t because of Ariel’s tendency to sneak it, I would have thrown in some gin. I was pretty sure it was going to be that kind of day.

“Well, I met the client, just like you said, and I tried to get him to mail his package.”

“And?” It was clear from his expression that he already knew how the story turned out, but was going to make me tell him anyway. Sadistic bastard.

“He wouldn’t mail it.” At Mr. Clerk’s frown, my heart began to race. “I swear, I tried as hard as I could! But he was so resistant! And then this guardian angel showed up.”

His eyes widened. “An angel? Are you sure?” When I nodded, he said, “You must tell Helen about this. Immediately.”

Although I was willingly doing the Devil’s dirty work, it didn’t mean that I wanted to visit my evil overlord. “Can’t you do it?”

“No. A guardian angel is nothing to fool around with, and if there’s one lurking about, it’s best if Helen hears it from you. She can help you get past them.”

“But William said they were easy to seduce,” I argued. “He said he’d done it before, and it was the easiest thing in the world.”

The tips of Mr. Clerk’s ears reddened, and he shifted uncomfortably on the bar stool. “William certainly has a sense of humor.”

“What do you think? Would seducing an angel be a good strategy?”

“How would I know?” he asked, sounding insulted. “That’s for Helen to decide.”

“Fine. But I’ll need someone to watch the girls while I’m gone.” I lifted my eyebrows suggestively.

He hopped off the bar stool and held up his hands. “Oh, no. I simply refuse!”

“Are you sure?” I asked. “William stopped by earlier. Maybe he’ll turn up again.”

That got his attention. “You saw William today?” The question was asked very casually, but I knew better. Mr. Clerk had a major crush on William and was jealous of any time the two of us spent together. “Do you really think he’ll come by?” Already, Mr. Clerk had resettled himself on the bar stool and was pinching the knife-edged creases in his slacks.

“Maybe.”

“Fine. But be back in ten minutes.”

If I hurried, I could be back in five.

With its oriental carpet, potted palms and fringed lamps, Miss Spry’s study was elegant and cozy. I wasn’t fooled, though. These props were only put there to prevent anyone from seeing the real Hell that lay underneath.

Miss Spry sat behind her desk, writing in a leather-bound ledger, but the moment I walked in, she put down her fountain pen. “Lilith! Such a pleasant surprise.” She used to growl every time I came through her office door, but now that I stopped defying her and obeyed her every whim, she acted like my best friend. It was less stressful to stand before a smiling woman rather than a hot-eyed demon, but the thought of making Miss Spry happy always made me unhappy.

I’d thrown a pair of capris and a T-shirt over my bikini, but was still woefully under dressed compared to my demon overlord who wore a smart coral twinset and pencil skirt. Her heavy, red lipstick and dark eyebrow pencil reminded me of old-fashioned actresses. So did her permed hair which she wore swept away from her forehead, Joan Crawford style.

“I know that I made a mistake today. I swear I tried to make that man mail that package.” I tugged nervously on my watch. “I wanted to tempt him. I really did.”

“I know you did, dear.” Her voice was syrup laced with strychnine, and though she smiled, her eyes were flinty. “However, you did fail the assignment.”

“But there was this guardian angel, see, and…”

Her hands clenched into fists. “Did you say guardian angel?” When I nodded, she turned her face upward and shouted, “Cheater!” She hurried from behind her desk and took me by the arm. “Listen, Lilith. This client is very, very important. So important, in fact, that I can’t let him go untempted. Therefore, I will suspend all of your assignments until you’ve seduced him. Don’t let me down!”

“I won’t,” I promised. “And I won’t let that holy pain in the ass ruin another assignment.”

She beamed. “That’s music to my ears! The old Lilith would have never said such a thing.”

That’s because the old Lilith hadn’t realized how powerful or cruel demons were, or what lengths they’d go to get what they wanted. The perks of being an obedient little succubus far outweighed the punishment for rebellion. If only the inner voice of my conscience would understand and let me off the hook.

“If you have Mr. Clerk set up another appointment, I’ll get to work,” I told her.

Her smile deepened. “I love your new enthusiasm. Keep this up, and you’ll be as good a seductress as any of your ancestors.”

The inner voice turned into an inner squirm as my conscience objected. Shut up, I told it, and thought about my beautiful new house.

“We can set up another appointment, but tempting the victim won’t be easy. Not only because of the guardian angel, but because once a human resists temptation, it becomes easier to do so a second time. Still, I’ll make Patrick set up another appointment.” She rang a little silver bell on her desk, and Mr. Clerk appeared.

“You left the girls alone?!” I cried.

“They’re fine,” he answered with a sniff. “They’re watching a movie and eating cookies.”

“Patrick, set up another appointment with Lilith’s client,” Miss Spry said.

He looked annoyed. “Do you really think finding those opportunities is easy?”

Helen didn’t reply, and I shrugged. All I knew was that Mr. Clerk showed up with instructions, and I carried them out. I had no idea how the system worked. Nor did I care.

“It’s an intricate process, Helen, involving complex algorithms. Each time I set up a meeting, I must spend hours researching the target, making calculations, and setting trajectories. It’s not easy.”

Helen backed him off with a hot-eyed glare, giving me an opportunity to play good cop. Even demons have their vulnerable spots, and for Mr. Clerk, it was flattery. “Your job sounds terribly complicated. You’re amazing!”

Miss Spry’s eyes glittered in amusement, but Mr. Clerk flushed with pleasure. “It’s a gift. I can’t take credit for it.” Despite his protests, he reveled in my praise the same way my cat, Drinking Tea, reveled in a good chin scratch.

“So you can get Lilith a second chance?”

Mr. Clerk sighed, nodded, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes, I’ll set up another assignment.”

“Good.” I wouldn’t fail again. I didn’t care if I had to personally drag my client to Hell, that man would do what Miss Spry demanded.

That evening, Dr. Ted Dempsey, my cheating ex-husband, stopped by to pick up Grace for the weekend. When he walked in through the back door, he completely ignored his niece who was sitting at the kitchen table. Technically, Ari was his blood relation, not mine, but you’d never know it from the way he treated her.

Ted went over to Grace who squealed and hugged him. Then he gave me a top-to-bottom once over. “Hello, Lilith. You’re looking well.”

His bland compliment was meant to hurt me, and it did. Because I didn’t just look ‘well’, I looked fantastic. I was wearing little white shorts that showed off my tan and a tight T-shirt that displayed plenty of cleavage. On the days Ted came over, I always took special pains to remind him of what he’d lost when he decided to cheat on me.

“Why don’t you run and get your bag, Grace,” I said. “I need to talk to your father.” I raised my eyebrows at Ariel, and she dragged herself out of her chair, huffing in exasperation. I knew that she wanted to see me yell at Ted, but I’d made it a policy to stop fighting in front of the kids after I realized how much it upset Grace.

With the girls out of the room, I readied myself to launch a verbal attack, but Ted beat me to the punch. “Your pool smells like it’s overly chlorinated.” My ex-husband thought he was an expert on everything from swimming pools to vegan cuisine, and wasn’t shy about sharing his opinions. “I don’t want my daughter swimming in it.”

It was a cunning first strike because it forced me to defend myself. I crossed my arms over my chest. “The pool is fine, Ted. I have a service that checks it twice a week.”

He smiled triumphantly. “And where are you getting the money to pay for a pool service?”

Damn! I’d fallen right into his trap. After the fire had destroyed my house, I’d begged Ted to increase his child support payments. Although money was no longer an issue for me, my ex-husband had no idea why. Obviously, he didn’t know that I was a succubus.

No, he thought I was a harpy.

“I refinanced the house,” I said. When Ted mulled this over, I launched my counterattack. “How come I’m getting overdue notices from the credit card company about your bills?” I picked up the invoice that had been lying on the counter and shook it at him. “They’re threatening to send me to a collection agency.” Although I’d tried several times to cancel the card, it was in both our names and I couldn’t get rid of it without Ted’s consent. Plus, my address was the one on record, and I was being saddled with the debt.

He looked offended. “That’s our old joint account, Lilith. I haven’t used it since the divorce.”

“Like hell you haven’t.” I read off one of the charges. “Look at this – eleven-thousand dollars for a place called ‘Exotic Locales’? What was that for?”

Ted’s face reddened and he looked away. “I must have used that old credit card by mistake. Give me the bill, and I’ll pay it.”

“Exotic Locales, Ted?” I asked, goading him. “What is that? A strip club?”

He didn’t even flinch. “No. It’s personal.” He held out his hand for the bill. “I said I’d pay it, so end of discussion.”

Whatever he was trying to cover up had to be juicy, so I took a stab in the dark: “You’re dating a stripper, aren’t you?”

“What? No! Lilith, what is wrong with you?” The vein above his eyebrows began to pulse.

“What’s wrong with you?” I asked. “What are you hiding from me?”

My demon could have helped with this, of course. All I had to do was start her up and put her to work. Within minutes, Ted would be putty in my hands and willingly tell me his secrets. It had worked before. But right then, I was too angry to bat my eyelashes and act coy. I wanted to boot Ted in the butt with a steel-toed shoe, not caress him with kid gloves.

I must have looked scary because when Grace walked in carrying her pink duffle bag, Ted grabbed her and kept his hands on her shoulders, using her as a human shield. “Ready to go, kid?” he asked desperately.

Reluctantly, I told my demon to back off. There was something going on with my ex. I could smell it on him like another woman’s perfume. With Grace in the room, however, I’d never find out what it was.

Ted was halfway out the door. “Okay. I’ll have her back on Sunday night.” Then, just before leaving, he stopped in the doorway. His lips quirked like he was about to throw up. “Grace, I have a really big surprise for you. I’m taking you to France for the month of July.”

Grace’s eyes lit up. There was no place in the world she wanted to visit more than France. But as her eyes were glowing with anticipation, mine were glowing with rage. France?! My ex-husband thought he was taking my baby to Europe? So ‘Exotic Locales’ had been a travel agency.

As Grace hugged him tightly, Ted looked over her shoulder with an expression of triumph. I clenched my fists, seething. It was bad enough that he was entitled to an entire month with her during the summer, but to drag her out of the country? And what a cowardly trick to deliver the news in front of me knowing that I wouldn’t yell at him. Not only that, he had the entire weekend to pump her up about the trip. She’d come back to me on Sunday night with a head full of pictures of Paris and the Eiffel Tower, and I’d end up looking like the bad guy when I told her that she couldn’t go.

It was the final stroke in our dueling match. A painful thrust delivered with such mastery and cunning that I could only stand and gape.

Ariel had sidled back into the room, and before Ted whisked Grace away, she said, “Guess what, Ari? I’m going to France with my dad!”

Usually, Ari was an expert at hiding her feelings, but right then I could read her like a book. She was thinking that her Uncle Ted completely ignored her, she’d never met her biological father, and her own mother wouldn’t take her to Burger King much less France.

Ariel’s eyes narrowed. “France is disgusting, you know. They only eat frogs and snails there.” But, by that time, Grace had already left the house.

Ariel looked up at me, her eyes flat as the backside of a mirror. She was hardening herself so that she wouldn’t dissolve into tears. I didn’t need my demon to tell me this, either, since it was exactly how I felt myself.