Читать книгу Summer Of The Viking - Michelle Styles, Michelle Styles - Страница 10
ОглавлениеBy the time they reached the small cottage where her old nurse lived, Alwynn’s back was screaming from her exertions and her nerves were in tatters. Alwynn was pleased that Gode was off visiting her niece helping with the latest child in that brood. She’d encouraged it because Gode rarely had anything to do with her niece. Proof that her nurse was mellowing in her old age.
Right now the fewer people who knew about this half-drowned warrior, the better. Any whisper and Lord Edwin could be down on them, demanding to know why this man wasn’t dead.
She knew what his wrath could be like. She had faced it when she refused his unseemly offer of becoming his mistress.
A small sigh escaped her throat. She had to face facts. She’d very nearly kissed a stranger. What sort of woman did that make her?
Thankfully the half-drowned man had behaved impeccably about it.
But her body felt alive in a way that it never had when Theodbald had touched her. Then she’d recoiled from his damp touch and had wanted everything over as quickly as possible. The marriage bed had been a duty rather than a pleasure.
One single touch to her lips from this man, from this stranger, and she was ready to melt in his arms.
Alwynn wrenched her thoughts away.
She had to give Merri credit. The girl had stuck with her side of the bargain and helped, rather than finding an excuse to scamper off. Now Merri stood, shifting from one foot to the other. ‘Is Purebright mine now?’
‘Purebright will be happy to have you combing him.’
‘It means you can’t sell him if we need more gold. Like you did with the other horses.’
Alwynn shrugged. There was little point in saying how much it had pained her to sell off the good horses and Purebright was far too old and cantankerous to be sold. ‘We need at least one pony.’
‘Can I go now and tell him the good news?’
‘Go. And you can tell any who asks that I’m helping Gode out with the garden.’
Merri gave a nod. ‘Don’t worry, I can keep a secret...even from you.’
‘And that is supposed to inspire me with confidence?’
Merri gave a cheeky smile. ‘Shall I get you some more water? Gode lets me do it when I visit her. When I return in the morning, he will be all better, you’ll see.’
The man seemed to go in and out of consciousness, sometimes helping to walk and sometimes needing to be dragged. She had serious doubts if he would last the night, but one glance at Merri’s earnest face told her that she could not confide that piece of information.
‘Get the water before you go.’
‘I could stay...if you needed help.’
‘I’m the one who takes the risk, Merri, not you. Remember, you weren’t with me this morning. And I wanted to tend Gode’s garden. No one will find that unusual.’
In the months before Theodbald’s death, Alwynn had often taken herself away to Gode’s cottage. She had created a garden there which no one could destroy in a fit of temper as Theodbald had done when she had lost the baby she’d been carrying.
‘But he is my warrior.’
‘Now he is my responsibility.’ Alwynn gestured with her free hand. ‘Off with you. Sooner I have the water, the sooner you can tell Purebright the good news. And later you may return and see for yourself how he fares.’
‘As long as he doesn’t leave before I can say goodbye...’ Merri called as she ran to get a bucket from the well.
Alwynn unceremoniously placed the man on the narrow bench outside. Leave before Merri could say goodbye? Alwynn shook her head. She had no idea if he would last the night. But she knew she wanted him to.
Sweat poured down her face and her gown stuck to her back as she tried to get the feeling back into her arm. The sun hadn’t even reached noon and she was exhausted.
Her mind reeled from thinking about him dying. She had to do everything she could to save his life. And it didn’t have to do with him; she’d do it for anyone. A small piece of her heart called her a liar—there had been something in his eyes which touched her heart. And when his finger pressed against her lips, she had felt as if she was made of precious glass.
Merri rushed back with the water and a jug of small beer and then ran off again, chattering about how beautiful Purebright was.
Alwynn smiled. Only Merri could think that stubborn grass-munching fiend on four hooves beautiful. She poured a wooden beaker of small beer and handed it to the warrior, who immediately opened his eyes. The creases about his mouth were less pronounced. And his skin now no longer had a blue tinge to it. Alwynn tried to look at him with a dispassionate healer’s eye, but somehow she couldn’t.
She had no problems growing the herbs, but when it came to people, she found it impossible to keep her emotions out.
‘Drink. You are safe now. You can rest and regain your strength. No one comes here.’
‘Thank you.’ His brows drew together. ‘I don’t want to put other people in danger, particularly not you or your stepdaughter. I appreciate the risk you took for me back there on the beach.’
Something eased in her neck. Unlike many of the warriors she’d encountered, this one noticed people beyond the end of his nose. She had originally thought warriors held special place and that was why they were arrogant. It was good to meet one who wasn’t.
‘It is only strangers from the sea who are feared,’ she explained. ‘Not strangers from other lands. The men from the North...they come from the sea.’
His eyes became more shadowed and she wondered if the Northmen plagued his country as well. Silently she repeated everything she knew about Northmen and their ways. This man wasn’t one of them. She was sure of it.
‘I know how the Northmen travel.’
‘Then you understand why it is necessary to be careful.’
As he took the wooden beaker, their hands briefly brushed. Another distinct tremor of attraction went through her. She withdrew her hand too quickly and spilled the beer down his front.
All those years with Theodbald’s damp hands and crude manner and she’d felt nothing. She’d been convinced that there was something wrong with her. She couldn’t even do as Gode had suggested—to think of some handsome saint and pretend. Instead she had felt like a lump of wood and lain completely still, hoping against hope that it would soon be over. Now it was like that lump of wood was covered in little flames.
It should frighten her, but somehow it was also exciting.
After years of being the good daughter and the good wife, she was finally doing something forbidden.
‘I will get you some more.’ She hurriedly refilled the wooden beaker. ‘And something to mop up the spill. Clumsy of me.’
This time she kept her fingers well away from his.
His deep brown gaze held hers. He made a slight bow. ‘Thank you. And you are right. I need to wash the salt off.’
Unbidden, her mind supplied a picture of his muscular torso. She turned away, aware that her cheeks blazed like an unwed maiden, rather than the woman who had endured more than five years of marriage and who knew what passed between a man and a woman, even if she couldn’t understand why anyone would get excited about it. ‘It can wait...until you have recovered. I will go and prepare a place for you to sleep.’
‘Your cottage?’
‘My old nurse’s. No one except me or Merri comes here these days.’ She knew she spoke far too fast, a bad habit from when she was small. She paused and took a deep breath. ‘You will be able to heal in peace.’
He nodded. ‘If anyone does come here, I didn’t come from the sea.’
‘Yes, you understand my meaning.’ She pressed her hands together. ‘There is something about lying which sticks in my throat.’
‘You found me on the shore, not bobbing in the sea. Therefore you have no real idea how I arrived there.’
‘It doesn’t take much imagination to guess.’
‘You are not breaking any law if you don’t actually know,’ he said quietly.
‘Is it better not to know?’
‘Sometimes.’
She caught a faint twinkle in his eye. His eyes were not just brown, but full of many colours. And they had come alive after his drink. She heaved a sigh of relief. He wasn’t going to die after all. ‘Is your country Raumerike at war with mine?’
‘I have never made war on your country.’ He pressed his hand to his chest. ‘I, Valdar, son of Neri, swear this. My solemn oath I give you.’
‘That isn’t what I asked...Valdar.’ The name sounded strange to her ears, but not unpleasant.
He pursed his lips. ‘My country has no quarrel with yours. Why would it? We have a sea separating us.’
The back of her neck prickled. He had come across the sea like the raiders, but he had come in peace. ‘And the attack on Lindisfarne by the heathen Northmen?’
His face instantly sobered. ‘I have heard of it. The whole world has heard about it. They took the gold and gave nothing but destruction in return. I have always believed it is wrong to make war on people who are not your enemies and have not harmed you. A simple creed, but I believe the right one.’
Something eased in her heart. She was doing the right thing—keeping his existence hidden and giving him a chance to heal.
He might be a foreigner, but he hadn’t come to make war against her people or to raid. Merri was right—he wasn’t a Northman. He was something else entirely. She released a breath. She wasn’t going to save him just to have Lord Edwin kill him. He was innocent and therefore he deserved a chance to return to his country.
‘Thank you for that creed.’
‘I need the beer-sodden shirt and the salt off me. It itches like you wouldn’t believe.’
‘Are you capable of doing it?’
‘I want to do it. I will find the strength to do it.’
She retreated two steps. ‘Surely it can wait. You were near death. You haven’t recovered enough.’
His face took on a look of grim determination. ‘I remain alive.’
Moving very slowly as if every muscle screamed in pain, he took the tunic off and discarded it along with his sword and belt. Alwynn discovered her feet were rooted to the spot. The sunlight hit his golden chest. It was muscular but not overly so. There were several scars criss-crossing his torso, but it was a warrior’s body and used to hard work, not soft and pudgy as her husband’s had become.
A dimple flashed in his cheek when he saw she remained there. ‘I will keep my trousers on, I think.’
She feigned an air of indifference. ‘You must do as you like. It makes no difference to me.’
He picked up the bucket and poured the remaining water over him. The droplets trickled down over his long hair, making him gleam. ‘You see, the salt goes when washed away.’
Her cheeks burnt, but she forced her chin high. ‘You took a battering in the sea. I wanted to see if I need to get you a poultice for the bruising.’
All colour fled from his face. ‘Are you a healer?’
‘I can do a bit, not as much as Gode or the monks, but I’m learning. I’ve an interest in herbs.’ She stared at the rough plaster wall of the cottage. Her troubles were none of his business, but she had found solace in gardening. Of all the things, the garden at Theodbald’s hall had been the hardest to leave. Her new garden was smaller, but she had brought a number of plants with her. When she was out there, amongst the perfumed flowers and gentle humming of the bees, all her cares slipped away. ‘I love my garden. I like to put it to good use and I like coming to Gode’s as well.’
He nodded, but pain flashed through his eyes. ‘I once knew a woman who healed.’
‘What happened to her, the healer?’
‘She married someone else and grows big with his child.’
‘And where does she live, this healer of yours?’
‘In the estate next to mine.’ His brown gaze held hers.
He reached down and withdrew his sword from the scabbard. It gleamed dangerously in the sunlight, reminding her that, injured or not, he was still a warrior.
‘Here, take it,’ he said with his strange accent which caused his voice to sound more like a purr than a command. ‘Keep it safe while you get whatever herbs you need. When I go from here, I will take it with me. Until then...a gesture of my peaceful intent.’
She gingerly took the sword. It was Frankish made with gold-and-silver inlay. She could imagine how her husband would have drooled over such a sword. Surely a Northman would not have such an expensive weapon?
‘How did you get this sword?’
‘I bought it in a market.’ A dimple showed at the corner of his mouth. ‘How else would I have acquired it?’
‘Off the battlefield? Taken from an opponent?’
The colours in his eyes shifted as she amused him. ‘I had it made for me. I wanted the right balance for my arm. Not exciting at all. Are all Northumbrians as bloodthirsty as you?’
Alwynn breathed a little easier. The barbarians who attacked the holy island of Lindisfarne surely could not have dealings with the Franks. The Franks were part of the Holy Roman Empire and forbidden from dealing with pagans. She could remember Theodbald explaining this fact with great disdain after the raid happened. One more reason why this stranger deserved to stay alive.
‘What do you expect me to do with it?’
‘Keep it safe until I leave. A token of my goodwill while I heal. You will be well rewarded.’
‘You wish me to keep silent about you being here.’
‘The authorities in any country ask too many questions.’ He put a hand to his head. ‘Right now, I need no questions and much sleep. You understand?’
Alwynn hesitated. ‘Do you pledge to protect this household while you shelter within its walls?’
He placed his hand to his chest, displaying his arm rings. ‘I swear.’
She stood with the sword in her hands. Her mother would have said that she should go straight away and report this man. Her mother would never have even saved him. Alwynn straightened her back. She wasn’t her mother and she made her own way in the world now.
‘I will put it beyond use until then. And I accept your pledge, Valdar.’ She inclined her head. ‘Not that it will be needed. Nothing ever happens here.’
‘Then it is lucky you found me.’ A smile transformed his face from handsome to stunning. ‘A good omen in a sea of bad luck. Perhaps my life changes now. Perhaps I am reborn.’
A good omen for him. Alwynn took a deep breath. She wished she knew whether it would be the same for her—the woman who had obeyed all the rules had lost everything. Maybe it was time she started breaking a few. Maybe it was time for her to be reborn.
* * *
Valdar circled his shoulders, trying to focus on working the aches and pains out of his body, rather than think about the way the sunlight had shone on Alwynn’s hair or the shadows in her eyes when she evaded his questions about why she’d saved him.
But he knew what he faced here if his true origins were discovered. To the Northumbrians, one Northman would be very like another. It made no difference that he was from Raumerike and the raiders were Viken. Or the fact that he had always considered the raid to be a grave error. Something which had far more consequences than simply taking gold and a few slaves captive.
He hated the slight deception, but having survived the sea, he wanted to live. He wanted to live more than he thought possible.
Silently he pledged that while he was here, he’d do all in his power to protect Alwynn and to return the favour of giving him his life back.
There were many reasons why Alwynn was out of bounds. He wasn’t staying, but more than that she reminded him far too much of Kara and that wound in his soul was far from healed.
No one since Kara had intrigued him. It had hurt to discover that Kara had only wanted to marry him for the protection he could give her and her young son. He’d let her into his heart, the first woman he’d truly cared about, and she had only wanted him for a friend and bulwark to keep the estate intact.
He had spent the time since then feeling as if he was encased in ice and ignoring his sister-in-law’s pointed remarks about how he needed to marry. Valdar shook his head. His near-drowning had addled his wits.
‘I’ve lit a fire and made a simple poultice for your ribs. They need to be bound before you sleep,’ Alwynn said, appearing in the doorway. She’d shed her head covering and shawl and acquired an all-enveloping apron. But it was the way her dark hair escaped its braid that held his attention. ‘By rights I should call a monk.’
‘No!’ Valdar struggled to breathe. ‘You promised to keep my presence quiet.’
She lowered her brows. ‘I retain the right to call in a monk if you require it.’
‘I’ve been injured worse and haven’t required a monk.’ There were no monks in Raumerike, precious few healers for that matter. Kara was the only one who possessed some skill. Most seemed to prefer making sacrifices to various gods. There was little point in explaining how he had cheated the gods by palming the black counter and no god would be interested in intervening on his behalf. Things worked differently with Northumbrians.
‘And you know best?’
‘In this case—yes.’ He deliberately closed his eyes. ‘The sun’s heat is wonderful. Warms my bones. There were moments in the water when I feared I’d never see the sun again.’
‘Do you need help getting into the cottage?’
Confirmation if he needed it that he must look like death.
He began to rise and immediately wished he hadn’t. In the brief time he’d been sitting, his muscles had seized and refused to obey him. He concentrated and tried again, forcing his muscles to move. Every single one protested as he stood.
‘If you have a stick I can lean on, I will go in.’
She hurried to him and grabbed his arm. Her scent acted as a balm, banishing the ache. ‘Are you always this stubborn? Is that why you ended up in the sea?’
‘I jumped,’ he said.
‘Why? Was the boat going down? Will more bodies wash up?’
‘The rest stayed on the boat.’
‘You jumped of your own accord?’ Her voice rose an octave. ‘During a storm?’
Alwynn would not understand about his gods and their demands. The Northumbrians, like the Franks, followed a different religion. He shook his head. His gods had turned their backs on him. Who was he to judge which god was right? From now on he concentrated on living, rather than thinking about things beyond his comprehension.
He glared at her. ‘When the time came, I welcomed it. I wanted to be doing something, rather than waiting for death.’
‘Jumping into the ocean during a storm seems extreme.’
‘There are many ways to die. I took the way which offered me the most hope of surviving.’ He made an impatient gesture. ‘I’ve no idea what happened to my shipmates but they will not be near here. They will have continued on their journey back home, assuming I died. There will be much shedding of false tears when they arrive back in Raumerike.’
‘What had you done?’
‘Nothing except to attempt to keep an oath I gave.’ He ran his hand through his hair. On that dreadful morning when he had stood over Horik’s body and Girmir had demanded he show his loyalty to the new leader, Valdar had vowed to avenge his friend’s death.
She lifted a brow. ‘You keep oaths by jumping into the stormy sea?’
‘I don’t expect you to understand the ways of my people. Simply trust me that it had to be done and that I broke no laws. I follow a code. The same as my father did and his father before him.’
She rolled her eyes upwards. ‘God preserve me from warriors and their honour. But rather than using a stick, take my arm.’
He opened his mouth to ask how a slight person like her could assist him, but then swallowed the words as he remembered how her soft breasts had felt against his side during the journey from the beach. The only reason he had escaped the scavengers was down to her. And he always paid his life debts.
‘I will only trouble you a day or two.’ He ignored the screaming pain in his ribs. ‘Once I am rested, I will move on. I understand what risks you have taken. You will be rewarded. I promise.’
‘No reward is necessary. My code demanded it.’ Her full lips gave a bitter twist. ‘Or don’t you think a woman can have a code?’
‘I know a great number of honourable women.’
‘You want to return to your home and your loved ones. Your honourable women.’
Home. The word left a bitter taste in his mouth. A place of dashed dreams and unfulfilled promises. He had no idea how people would react when he told his tale of Girmir’s betrayal and what had happened afterwards. Would they believe him or Girmir? Girmir was his jaarl’s distant cousin and there had been bad blood between Horik and the jaarl. Valdar shook his head. That was a problem for another day. Right now was about survival.
‘Everyone wants a home, a place where they can feel safe.’
‘For now, consider this your place of safety.’
‘A refuge, rather than a home.’
She draped his arm over her shoulders and glanced up at him. A gentle breeze blew hair across her face. Her eyes were sea green underlain with silver and her lips softly parted. Desire stirred deep within him.
It had been far too long since he’d lain with a woman. Since before Kara. Perhaps it was as his sister-in-law counselled him before he left—a question of time. She hadn’t liked it when he asked her about why she remained unmarried, though. His brother had been gone a long time and she needed protection.
Maybe the queer hold Kara had over him was lessening and he could get on with his life. After he wreaked his revenge on Girmir, then he would inform his sister-in-law that she could start the search for his bride.
Quickly he removed his arm. Alwynn gave him a questioning glance.
‘I am able to walk on my own. I don’t want to crush you with my weight.’
‘You are without a doubt the most stubborn man I’ve met.’ She put her hand on her hip. ‘How do you think you arrived at this cottage in the first place?’
‘Calling someone stubborn is a compliment where I come from.’
He deliberately walked into the cottage, setting his feet down hard and not glancing at her again even though he sensed she hovered at his elbow, ready to catch him if he fell.
On the threshold, he stood and allowed his eyes to adjust to the gloom. The cottage was larger than many in Raumerike and boasted three tapestries on the walls as well as a decent hearth in the centre of the room. A long table dominated one end of the room while a simple pallet of straw lay close to the newly started fire.
‘When will the owner return?’
‘My old nurse uses it. She retired here a few years ago.’ Alwynn turned her back and began to fiddle with the pots on the table. ‘She and my late husband were less than good friends.’
‘Was this nurse a good judge of character?’
She turned her back on him and began smoothing the coverlet. ‘A long time ago she gave me permission to use the cottage whenever I wish.’
‘You are high-born. I know enough about the customs of these lands.’
Her hand stilled. ‘Does it matter?’
‘Why did you try to hide it from me? I’ve no wish to harm you.’
He captured her hand and raised her palm to his lips. She trembled slightly. She quickly withdrew her hand as her cheeks flamed.
She tilted her chin upwards and her eyes blazed green fire. Every inch the imperious lady.
‘There was no hiding. I may have been the lady of a great estate, but no longer. Now I’m simply a woman who tends her garden. My mother would be appalled, but I paid my late husband’s debts without losing my honour or turning away any of our old servants from their homes, including my nurse. So, yes, my nurse is a good judge of character.’
‘Honour is important to you.’
Her eyes flashed fire. ‘Without my honour, I am nothing.’
He kept his face impassive. A deep primitive urge to protect her filled him. Angrily he dampened it down. He had no business here. His business was elsewhere. The people of this land meant nothing to him.
‘I, too, have honour,’ he said instead, seeking to put his debt to her on more formal terms. ‘I owe you a life debt...Lady Alwynn. I always pay my debts. Know this and keep it in your heart.’
Her brows drew together. ‘What does that mean? A life debt?’
‘You saved me. I owe you something for that, regardless of what your code demands.’ He allowed a smile to touch his lips. His debt to this woman was no different from the ones he’d owed to various warriors who had saved his back. ‘My life is very precious to me.’
‘Not jumping off any more boats would do for a start.’ She moved away from him. ‘I’ve not done anything special. I am simply the person who happened upon you. Any other decent person would have done no less.’
‘And yet I believe you are not supposed to save strangers on a beach.’ He made a correct bow. The muscles in his back screamed. ‘Ask what you will and if it is in my power, I will do it. You do not need to decide right away.’
‘And if I decide after you have gone?’
He twisted his mother’s ring off his little finger. ‘Send this and I will come.’
Her fingers closed around it. ‘And how will I find you?’
‘When I go, we will speak of it.’
Her tongue absently traced the outline of her lower lip. ‘There is no need. As I said, I am merely a woman who tends her garden.’
‘You saved my life.’
They stood looking at each other until a wood pigeon called in the woods. The spell was broken.
‘I’ve made up a bed and you need to drink this,’ she said, suddenly all businesslike. She picked a wooden beaker up from the table. ‘I made it earlier when...when you were resting outside.’
He took a taste of the strangely sweet liquid. ‘And it is?’
‘Valerian mixed with mead. To make you sleep.’
‘I will rest and then depart.’ A great sneeze racked his body, making his ribs hurt anew. ‘I don’t want to put you in danger.’
‘You may go when you are fit to travel.’ She placed her hands on her hips. ‘And you will catch your death if you continue to stand there partially unclothed.’ She gestured towards the bed. ‘There is a nightshirt. Put it on. I would have your clothes to lay before the fire.’
‘Only half-drowned.’
‘When you are finished, call me.’
‘You are not going to stay to watch me disrobe completely?’
She quirked a brow upwards. ‘I doubt there will be anything interesting to see.’
She turned on her heel and went out of the room.
Valdar gave a half-smile. It felt good to bait her. Something to do which did not involve fighting for his survival or nursing the black place in his soul.
‘I will find a way to repay her before I leave,’ Valdar vowed under his breath as a wave of tiredness hit him. He breathed in the dusty pleasant smell. For the first time in a long while, despite being on enemy territory, he knew he was safe.
* * *
The faint embers of the fire flickered, throwing strange lights on the plaster walls. Alwynn sat in Gode’s only chair and listened to the sound of Valdar’s uneven breathing.
The warrior hadn’t woken since he fell into the valerian-induced sleep, but he had had nightmares. Merri had returned after exercising Purebright. She was uncharacteristically quiet, but Alwynn put it down to the morning’s excitement. She also readily agreed to help keep Valdar’s presence a secret before she left.
Alwynn had occupied herself by washing the salt out of his clothes and generally tidying the cottage. When her old nurse returned, she would have to have the talk about Gode living alone that she’d been postponing for a few months. Perhaps now that Theodbald was dead and they lived in a different hall, Gode would be more willing. Alwynn made a face. Gode was a law unto herself.
Valdar began thrashing about on the makeshift pallet, moaning in his sleep, calling on all manner of people for assistance.
Alwynn went over and laid a hand on his shoulder. ‘Hush, you are safe. But continue to yell this loudly and they will hear you in the next kingdom.’
His eyes flew open and he raised his fist. The embers from the fire were reflected in the depths of his eyes. She couldn’t say if he saw her or someone else, but his hand slowly lowered.
He mumbled something indistinct and his fingers picked at the bed covering.
‘Pardon?’
‘Kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it.’ His face became tortured. ‘Please.’
She stared at him. Did he mean her? Or some other woman?
‘You must lie still. Rest.’ She paused. ‘Later, I will kiss you.’
‘Please! Now! Once before I die.’
The ragged plea tore at her heart. One kiss would not change anything. But it might mean something to him. What if he didn’t last the night? What if she never knew what his mouth felt like against hers?
She knelt down beside him and took his face in her hands. His skin was hot to the touch and his eyes fever-bright.
What harm could it do? He’d never remember it.
She lowered her mouth and tasted. His lips parted and she was drawn into a kiss which was unlike any she had experienced before—gently persuading, but intense at the same time. His hand came around her head and held her in place while he coaxed and nibbled. Her entire being became flame and she wanted it to continue.
Then suddenly it was over. His hand, which had held her head in place, fell back. His eyes fluttered shut.
‘Kara never kissed me like that. Ever.’
Alwynn sat back on her heels and touched her aching lips. What had she done? Who was Kara? His wife? His mistress? The woman he loved? It shouldn’t matter, but it did. She hugged her arms about her waist, trying to prevent a great hollow from opening and swallowing her up. He wouldn’t remember it in the morning, but she knew she’d remember it for the rest of her life.
It had been the moment when she’d proved that she was made of more than ice, that it had been her husband at fault. Another ghost laid to rest. She sighed. But there were plenty more ghosts where that one came from. She might not be made of ice, but she had never borne a live child. Ever.
The familiar but bittersweet longing to hold her own child swept over her. She pushed it away. She had Merri. She was contented in her life. She knew what she wanted.
Valdar thrashed his head about on the pallet and muttered several words. Alwynn froze. She knew deep in her heart what he was and where he was from. Across the sea. From the North. But he wasn’t a raider. He’d come in peace.
She smoothed Valdar’s damp hair from his forehead and knew she would make the same choice. This man deserved to live. ‘What have I done?’
