I, Superhero!! :
Описание книги
Evildoers, Take Heed! Justice has a new face, and it wears a mask. Who are we talking about? Ordinary folk like Mike McMullen, a.k.a. The Amazing Whitebread, who become something entirely new and occasionally borderline pathological: Real-Life Superheroes (RLSHs). «Being a singing superheroine is a way for me to not only pay the bills, it also helps me give the baddies such a headache.» –Danger Woman Complete with costumes and all the gadgetry they can afford from selling old copies of Action Comics on eBay, RLSHs dish out their own brand of justice–while criminals go about their business and law enforcers roll their eyes. «Me and Shadowhare were walking past a bank and we stopped to make a phone call. As soon as we started walking away, the police came up and said, 'Do you know why we stopped you? Because you guys are wearing masks standing in front of a bank.'» –Mr. Xtreme McMullen spans the country, coach class, seeking to develop his own RLSH identity and address such weighty issues as: Sidekicks: Faithful wards or CPS bait?Bad Guys: Where the hell are they all hiding?Super-tights: How snug is too snug? So don your mask, suck in your gut, and join us. "Hey, you're with a superhero. . .what could go wrong?" –Geist, the Emerald Cowboy Michael McMullen, a.k.a. The Amazing Whitebread, was born in Wichita Falls, Texas. He earned an undergraduate degree in history and philosophy, and subsequently took the only employment option open to someone with the resultant lack of marketable skills: government service. He's worked as an intelligence analyst for the U.S. Department of Justice for just over a decade and currently lives in Arlington, Texas, with his wife, Lauren, and their children, Grant and Gracie. His hobbies include aspiring to get some woodworking done, thinking about learning a musical instrument, and trying to get interested in any computer game other than Text Twist. He has had short pieces published in various science fiction/fantasy magazines and currently holds the record for «Worst-Kept Secret Identity.»
Оглавление
Mike McMullen. I, Superhero!! :
Praise for
I, SUPERHERO!!
MIKE “THE AMAZING WHITEBREAD” MCMULLEN
CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
CHAPTER 1. IN WHICH I PUT EVERYTHING THAT WOULD NORMALLY GO IN THE INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER 2. COWBOY SECRET SPACE DETECTIVE: GEIST
CHAPTER 3. IN WHICH I EXERCISE…KINDA
CHAPTER 4. SUPERWHATNOW?
CHAPTER 5. DON QUIXOTE DE ORLANDO: MASTER LEGEND
CHAPTER 6. SIDEKICKS
CHAPTER 7. ARMY OF ONE: MR. XTREME
CHAPTER 8. DOES THIS CAPE MAKE MY BUTT LOOK BIG?
CHAPTER 9. THE BAD GUYS ARE BROUGHT
CHAPTER 10. SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH AMAZONIA
CHAPTER 11. ME, GEIST, AND MY JUNK
CHAPTER 12. LESSONS LEARNED
THE AMAZING WHITEBREAD’S LEGION OF SUPERBUDDIES LEAGUE OF SOCIETIES
APPENDIX 1: THE HALL OF SPANDEX
APPENDIX 2: MORTIFIED BY JUSTICE
APPENDIX 3: YOU CAN PICK YOUR NAME, AND YOU CAN PICK YOUR NOSE, BUT YOU CAN’T PICK YOUR NAME’S NOSE
Отрывок из книги
“The Amazing Whitebread might protest that he lacks the typical attributes of a superhero, but Mike McMullen certainly has the talents one wants in a writer: the reportage skills of Clark Kent, the compassion of Peter Parker, and the integrity of stately Wayne Manor or the Baxter Building. And he can turn a phrase like Eel O’Brian can turn his head. This is a fun, funny, touching book.”
—Matthew David Brozik, author of The Government Manual for New Superheroes
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“Have you ever had people react poorly when you approach them?” I ask, when we get back to the car.
“Kinda. Not really. I guess it’s just too bad when there’s a kid who won’t come up to you. You know, with the coat it’s a little weird.”
.....