Читать книгу Peach Blossom Pavilion - Mingmei Yip - Страница 12

After that time in the dark room, I realised that at Peach Blossom Pavilion, life was not as good as it had seemed. I’d also become, however reluctantly, a woman. Nevertheless, as time passed, I was too busy occupying myself in learning the arts – and too scared – to reflect on my future. Every week I had to take lessons in singing, pipa playing, painting, and calligraphy, and every day I had to practise five or six hours with no rest.

One time I was so exhausted that I asked Mama for a break. A huge grin broke out on her fleshy face. ‘Aii-ya! Xiang Xiang’ – she tapped her chest – ‘you think I’m the one who’ll be benefitting from all this practising?’ Then she put her pudgy finger at my forehead and gave it a push. ‘It’s you, silly girl, YOU!’ She paused to catch her breath. ‘Wait until you get famous, maybe then you’ll show some appreciation for your mama who has made you take all these lessons!’

Among all the arts, I liked playing the pipa – the four-stringed lute – the most. Partly because I liked the pleasant sound of the instrument, partly because I liked Pearl, my teacher. It gave me endless pleasure to watch her tilted chin, pouted lips, and slender fingers hover over the instrument like butterflies dancing from flower to flower. Also, her room was not like mine. Its silk curtains, embroidered sheets, marble-topped dressing table, gilded mirror, ornate Western clock, and paintings of pretty women fascinated me. Whenever I was there, my eyes would be busy exploring the beautiful objects while I inhaled the fragrances mingling from the flowers, the incense, and her perfumed body.

Moreover, I was intrigued by Pearl’s magical power – men would turn hungry and naughty whenever they were within a fifty-yard radius. Upon spotting her, they would, like cats reaching their paws for fish, eagerly reach out for – a cheek, an arm, a leg, a hip, a breast.

Now in Peach Blossom, due to my busy schedule, I didn’t have much time to think about my ‘great-aunt,’ nor the ‘fucking’ described by Little Red.

But since that day, Little Red had been so busy carrying out errands that, whenever we ran into each other in the corridor or in the courtyard, we could never finish our conversation. As to Fang Rong, although she’d promised she’d soon enlighten me about fuck, she was in fact either too busy scolding the sisters, kowtowing to the important guests, or gloating over her account book while flicking the fat beads of her abacus with sausage fingers.

However, I was still able to snatch tidbits of this mystery here and there in Peach Blossom.

‘Good heavens, how can he possibly think he can go in me when my great-aunt is right there between us!’

‘Is it true that his little brother is malnourished?’

‘Do you know how it feels when a toothpick drops into a well?’

Although now I was not completely ignorant about this fucking business, it still seemed, in many ways, unintelligible to me. But whom to ask? Of course I’d already tried Pearl toward the end of my pipa lessons, but she’d either look tired or in a hurry to entertain a guest.

‘Ah, Xiang Xiang,’ she’d say apologetically, ‘Mama has asked me to teach you but I’m just not in the mood right now.’

I had no idea whether she was really that exhausted and busy or simply reluctant to tell me, but since Mama had assigned her to be my teacher, I deemed it her duty to satisfy my fucking curiosity.

But there was no chance to question Pearl again because now everybody in Peach Blossom was busily preparing for the Lunar New Year. Mama had ordered the servants and maids to wash windows, scrub floors, and polish furniture. Doors were hung with colourful lanterns and pasted with red scrolls for good luck. Servants took out the red drape embroidered with one hundred fruits (for longevity) to cover the big luohan chair in the welcoming-guests room. The sides of the chair were tied with two poles of bamboo symbolising frequent promotions (since bamboo grows high). On New Year’s Eve, we all sat and waited to see which guest would arrive first and be the one to light the red dragon and phoenix candles.

On New Year’s Day, male servants lit firecrackers to send off the old year, welcome the new, and scare away evil spirits. Laughter, jokes, and words of good luck filled Peach Blossom’s guest, business, and banquet rooms. After Mama and De had led us to pray in front of all the gods and goddesses, Aunty Ah Ping brought out four big silver trays filled with dim sum. In the spirit of the new year, customers indulged themselves in spending sprees – overpaying for the food, tipping everybody in sight, and gambling for high stakes.

On the tenth of January, I counted my lucky money and was elated to find almost ten silver coins – only to have it snatched away by Mama. To pay bills, she said. Feeling distressed, I went to the kitchen to find Guigui for solace. The puppy was so happy to see me that even in the middle of gobbling down the leftover food, he looked up and wagged his tail.

I picked him up and rubbed my face against his warm, fluffy fur. ‘Guigui, have you been a good baby?’

He nodded, then licked my face, leaving bits of half-chewed meat on my cheeks.

A few days later, when the tumult of the New Year had finally died down, I went to Pearl’s room for another pipa lesson. It surprised me that Pearl didn’t have her pipa out as she usually did. Instead, she was carefully pencilling her brows in front of the mirror, while humming a tune. Why was she fretting over two thin lines instead of tuning the four strings?

I put on my best smile. ‘Sister Pearl, aren’t we having a lesson today?’

She lifted her brow and cast me a curious glance in her gilded, elaborately carved mirror. ‘Forget the pipa lesson. Tonight I’ll teach you some other lessons instead.’

Before I could ask, ‘What about a fucking lesson?’ she squinted at me with her elongated phoenix eyes. ‘I heard that you were locked in the dark room some time ago?’

I nodded.

‘So have you learned your dark room lesson?’

I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I nodded again.

‘Why did you run away?’

‘To see my mother off.’

‘That was a high price to pay.’

I remained silent; she asked, ‘Where did she go?’

‘To take refuge as a nun in a Buddhist temple in Peking.’

Pearl burst into laughter until tears rolled down her cheeks. Her hand trembled and made a wrong move, leaving her brow crooked. When she’d finally calmed down, she pulled a silk handkerchief from her jade bracelet to dab her eyes and wipe her brow.

‘Sister Pearl, why is it so funny?’

She tapped a red-nailed finger at me in the mirror. ‘Ha, don’t you think so? Your mother’s going to be a nun and you a whore, huh?’

‘But I’m not—’

‘Xiang Xiang, do you think you’re being fed and clothed and given art lessons here for nothing? You think Peach Blossom Pavilion is a charitable organisation? Or a government-sponsored art studio?’ She rapped my head. ‘The earlier you are disillusioned the better, you understand?’ She paused to redo her brow. ‘You know, sometimes it’s not too bad to be a prostitute. Especially if you become famous and meet someone who’s so rich and loves you so much that he’ll redeem you and take you home as his fifth or sixth concubine.’ She turned to pinch my cheek with her spidery fingers. ‘Is that clear, you little whore?’

As I was about to protest, suddenly I remembered my mother’s saying.

Try your best to get along with everyone, otherwise you won’t have a roof to live under nor even thin rice gruel to warm your stomach.

Besides, when the truth is thrown like a clod of dirt on your face, how else can you respond but to swallow it?

So I swallowed hard and squeezed a smile. ‘Yes, Sister Pearl.’

Pearl turned back to gaze at her powdered face in the mirror. Now beautiful and motionless, she looked like a gracefully carved statue of Guan Yin – the Goddess of Mercy – who always listens to cries of help.

I blurted out my long-held question, ‘Sister Pearl, what is fuck?’

‘Xiang Xiang!’ She threw me a chiding look in the mirror. ‘That word is extremely vulgar.’

‘But that’s what Mama and Little Red use.’

‘Yes, I use that, too, but it’s for adults, not a little girl like you.’

‘But Sister Pearl. I’m not a little girl anymore. I’m a woman!’

‘Oh, is that so?’ She raised a brow. ‘That means you have been fucked, haven’t you?’

Her words stung like a bee. I screamed. ‘No, of course not!’

She laughed, revealing a neat row of pearly teeth. ‘All right, you haven’t been fucked, not yet, all right?’ Then she looked at me chidingly. ‘Xiang Xiang, instead of saying fuck, why don’t you say mating of heaven and earth, balancing yin and yang, or stirring up the clouds and rain?’

She cocked an eye at me. ‘But why are you in such a hurry to learn all these, can’t you wait to be a fucking whore?’

This time I kept my mouth shut.

She smiled flirtatiously. ‘Hasn’t Little Red already told you what fuck means?’

Before I could answer, Pearl’s expression turned serious. ‘Anyway, soon Mama will give you books about the secret games. You better study them thoroughly, then if you have questions, come and ask me.’

‘Do you have those books?’

‘I don’t need them anymore,’ she tapped her head, ‘they’re all here.’ After that, she turned back to the mirror and continued to fuss over her make-up until her brows resembled two slender leaves. I understood that this signaled the fucking matter was to be dropped.

After Pearl had laid the finishing touch on her brow, she turned to look me in the eyes. ‘Xiang Xiang, I’m going to entertain in a big party tonight, and,’ she nipped my chin, ‘you’re coming with me, you lucky little witch.’

I was surprised to hear this. I’d never expected that I would be invited out so quickly. ‘Sister Pearl, who invited me?’

Suddenly the warmth in her tone was gone. She narrowed her eyes. ‘A very rich businessman. But don’t think that you’re already so irresistible that he invited you out. He invited me, you understand? You’re just to tag along.’

I nodded. Tears welled in my eyes, but I wouldn’t let them fall.

Seeing me on the verge of crying, Pearl’s tone warmed up again. ‘Ha, Xiang Xiang, you’d better start to learn about your own value. Don’t you know that you’re already quite famous? People have been asking around about you, “Who’s that pretty girl with two enchanting dimples?” One even said, “So pretty, she’ll definitely be a ming ji someday”!’

Ming ji – a prestigious prostitute. What would that be like?

Pearl raised her arm and rubbed perfume onto her armpits. ‘It’s never too early to be noticed, silly girl. Life is short here and no one has a whole eternity to flash her youth.’

She preened in front of the mirror – tilting up her chin, lowering her eyes, wetting her lips, raising her shoulder so that her bathrobe slipped to expose her smooth white flesh, caressing her breast with her red-nailed fingers. Then she started to recite a poem, ‘When a flower blooms, pick it. Don’t wait till there is only the bare branch left.’ After that, she turned to me, her voice sentimental, ‘You under­stand the poem, Xiang Xiang?’

I nodded, feeling too sad to say anything.

Pearl had finally finished putting on her make-up. Now she walked to the wardrobe and peeled off her bathrobe. I let out a small cry; there was not a single thread on her body!

She cocked an eye at me and chuckled. ‘Never saw a naked body before, huh?’

I shook my head, while eyeing her tilted breasts, her slightly swelling belly, and the luxuriant dark area between her white thighs which looked like the rich ink my painting teacher Mr. Wu dabbed on the rice paper.

My scrutiny didn’t seem to bother Pearl at all. She said, ‘You’d better get used to it, Xiang Xiang. Because, trust me, you’ll be seeing a lot of them very soon. But mind you,’ she sneered, ‘those bodies you’re going to see and learn to please are very different from ours. They belong to the chou nanren’s!’

Stinking males.

A beat passed before we burst into uncontrollable laughter. In that fleeting moment, I thought I liked her very, very much.

Pearl looked particularly attractive tonight. The red silk dress embroidered with a golden phoenix clung to her body as tightly as if the bird were painted on her skin. Her jacket’s high collar wrapped around her neck like petals enveloping a bud – her coveted goose-egg-shaped face. Her long hair was pinned loosely into a bun at the nape of her neck and scented with osmanthus flower oil. She’d decorated her three-thousand-threads-of-trouble with fresh plum blossoms and a gold filigreed butterfly. Her lips, painted crimson and slightly opened in a pout, looked as if they were dying for the sweet dew of some exotic elixir. Two jade earrings – like two green eyes – twinkled enigmatically.

‘Sister Pearl, you’re gorgeous!’ I sniffed the perfume wafting from her.

She pinched my cheek affectionately. ‘Thank you, Xiang Xiang.’ Then her eyes looked sad. ‘Beauty is all we have,’ she sighed, ‘that is, besides charm.’

A long pause before her mood changed again; now she scrutinised me playfully. ‘Xiang Xiang, you’re a very pretty little slut yourself, too. Now get dressed.’

She picked a silk top and trousers from her wardrobe and handed them to me. After I put them on, Pearl said, ‘All right, now let me help you put on make-up.’

When we were finally ready to go out, we stared at our images in the mirror. To my surprise, I looked completely different – at least five years older. The green top and pants with pink plum blossoms, though a little loose, looked very nice on me – as if spring had blossomed all the way from my torso to my limbs. Accentuated by the pink eye shadow and black eyeliner, my eyes gave off a lustrous sparkle that I hadn’t noticed before. The cinnamon pomade on my hair seemed to turn the three-thousand-threads-of-trouble into a mysterious black mirror.

‘Beautiful, aren’t we?’ Pearl purred.

I felt both too shy and too excited to respond.

She grabbed a fur coat and a woolen shawl from her sofa. ‘Now let’s go and exercise our charm!’ she exclaimed, then draped the shawl over my shoulders and pulled me out of the room.

Just then Fang Rong scurried toward us in the corridor. Her huge breasts undulated like tidal waves under her embroidered red jacket. ‘Hurry up, Pearl, Mr. Chan is still in a meeting, but the car is already waiting downstairs. Your de and I will follow you in another car.’ Like a fortune teller sizing up a new client, Mama scru­tinised me for long moments, muttering, ‘Ah, so beautiful; proves my old, fussy eyes are still as sharp as a cleaver!’

Outside Peach Blossom, a big, shiny, black car was waiting. Having spotted us, the uniformed and capped chauffeur came to our side and opened the door.

When I was trying to crawl in, Pearl snatched me out. ‘Xiang Xiang, stop! That’s extremely vulgar. Watch me.’ She lowered herself onto the seat, then slowly swung in her legs. An expanse of thigh flashed through the slit of her dress.

‘But Sister Pearl,’ I said in a heated whisper so it wouldn’t be heard by the chauffeur, ‘I can see your entire thigh, even your under­wear!’

After I’d gotten in, Pearl sat staring into the rearview mirror while smoothing her hair. She was still looking at her reflection when she said, ‘That’s the point, silly.’

The car started to move. I was so elated to be out that for the entire trip I spoke not a word, shifting my eyes to take in all the passing scenery.

After many turns, the car finally pulled to a stop in front of an ancient building with red-tiled roofs and white walls. Pearl and I got out of the car and walked toward the gate. Four big characters in walking-style calligraphy above the lintel read: WHITE CRANE IMMORTAL’S HALL.

I turned to ask Pearl, ‘What is an immortal’s hall?’

‘A Taoist temple.’

What did prostitutes have to do with Taoists and temples?

As we stepped through the crimson gate, I finally asked, ‘Sister Pearl, why would someone hold a party in a temple?’

‘Ah, Xiang Xiang,’ Pearl threw me a chiding look, ‘the party we’re now going to attend is special, a yaji – elegant gathering. Tonight you’ll meet lots of important and famous people – artists, scholars, poets, actors, high government officials. Anyway, you’re lucky to be invited, so you can start to soak in the flavour of the arts.’ She paused to look at me meaningfully. ‘If you want to be a ming ji, that is. Do you want to?’

I didn’t know whether to say yes or no. Maybe both. ‘Yes’ because I’d like to be prestigious, ‘no’ because, needless to say, I hated even to think of myself as a prostitute. Nevertheless, I knew the two words together signified something quite different. At Peach Blossom, I’d read fine poems and seen exquisite paintings by women – including Pearl – who bore this title. Among the cultivated, rather than being despised, they were highly respected – of course, for their beauty, but even more for their many talents and detached artistic air.

As I was still wondering whether I should say yes or no, I was surprised that my head, against my will, was already nodding like a pestle hitting against a mortar.

Now Pearl whispered into my ear, ‘Of course, there’ll also be crude businessmen and evil people like policemen, politicians, and even tong members.’

Silence reigned in the air until we stepped inside the courtyard where the party was held.

I let out a small cry.

It was the most beautiful place I’d ever seen. I inhaled the aroma of food and the fragrance of sweet-smelling incense. Colourful lanterns of various shapes and sizes hung from plum trees, swaying and shimmering in the breeze. Glowing peaches had grown as big as a baby’s head; a rabbit watched me wherever I moved; a carp glowed orange; a horse trotted in the wind; a fiery dragon stretched its claws and soared in the air.

Atop several tables were placed sheets of rice paper, brushes, ink stones, tea sets, wine vessels, trays of snacks, and plates of dim sum. Pearl and I floated here and there, watching some sisters paint, others rehearse poetry or sing arias of Peking and Kun operas, while yet others flirted with the guards and male servants. A few men arched their brows and smiled at us as we drifted by. Dew swayed on top of plum blossoms while in the fishpond gold carp wagged their tails.

More and more guests arrived. The men looked important and intimidating in expensive gowns or fashionable suits. The sisters were at their best – willowy bodies clad in silk, bejewelled hair shiny, make-up immaculate, as their delicate hands fussed with water pipes, clinked glasses, smoothed pomaded hair, patted fat cheeks, even delved into bulging pockets.

Then I felt a surge of guilt. In the bare fifteen minutes I’d been in this immortal’s hall, I’d completely forgotten about my mother. By now she was probably in the unadorned nunnery reciting sutras and beating the wooden fish to accumulate merit for me.

‘Beautiful, isn’t it?’ Pearl pinched my elbow, awakening me from my thoughts. ‘We’re still early, so let’s go appreciate the lanterns before my big fish Mr. Chan arrives.’ She led me past the women servants who were arranging the food and drink under the scrutinising eyes of Fang Rong and Wu Qiang.

Then she stopped in front of a big tree. Swaying down from the lanterns were slips of rice paper inscribed with calligraphy.

As I was about to read the characters, Pearl’s silvery voice rose to my ear. ‘Xiang Xiang, do you know that tonight is yuanxiao, the Lantern Festival?’

Sadness swelled inside me. Of course I knew yuanxiao – the festival to celebrate tuanyuan, family reunion. But my father was already dead and my mother a thousand miles away. Four months had gone by and I still hadn’t heard a word from her as she’d promised. With no family left, how could I celebrate a family reunion? The same time last year Mother had prepared a delicious dinner, and Baba had hung up our own lanterns in my favourite shapes of a peacock and the moon goddess Chang E. After we ate the sweet, round dumplings symbolising happy reunion, my parents took me to the old city’s Yu Garden. We strolled around the various famous scenic spots and appreciated lanterns, fireworks, acrobats, jugglers, lion dances. When we felt tired from all the walking and excitement, Baba took us to a street stall to enjoy the fragrant jasmine tea.

After that, we went to read the riddles. Baba, well learned in literature and all the classics, could almost always solve the difficult ones, so he’d won lots of prizes. That was why I’d also become very good at solving riddles. Last year the prize he’d won was a fan with a poem:

Last year during the yuanxiao, the lanterns shone as bright as daylight.

When the moon climbed on the trees’ top, lovers met each other in the twilight.

This year during the yuanxiao, while the moon and the lanterns are still here, last year’s persons are nowhere to be seen.

All that’s left are tears wetting the sleeves of my spring garment.

This was a very popular poem by the Sung dynasty poet Ouyang Xiu. Baba had told me that although the poem appeared sad, its message was in fact happy. ‘In the past, women and young girls were not allowed to roam outside their household by themselves. This rule was lifted during the yuanxiao festival, so married women would go out and have fun while young girls would meet their lovers, all under the pretext of appreciating lanterns. So the poem encourages freedom to find love.’ Baba patted my head affectionately. ‘Xiang Xiang, when you’ve grown up, I won’t hire a matchmaker to choose your husband. You’ll be free to look for someone you love.’

Now, remembering Baba and this poem made me extremely sad. Maybe it did convey an auspicious message as interpreted by Baba, but he’d also missed the bad omen it contained. This year, the lanterns were still there but both Baba and Mother were gone, leaving only tears to wet my winter garment.

Seeing that I was about to cry, Pearl put on the big, sweet smile which she normally reserved for her big-shot customers. ‘Cheer up, Xiang Xiang! Let’s look at some of the riddles.’

I dabbed the corners of my eyes and we began to read in silence. Just when I was about to give the answer, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Pearl, and beside her towered a thirtyish man – eyes large and hungry, forehead high, jaw square, with a long arm wrapped around Pearl’s narrow waist.

He leaned his flushed face close to Pearl’s made-up one and said as if he had just swallowed a fireball, ‘Little Pearl, I know tonight you have to keep Mr. Chan company, but before that, can you …’

Pearl snatched out her fan, flipped it open, then began to fan furiously while half-nudging the young man away with her hip. ‘Yor! When does our famous gifted oil painter pay attention to a plain woman like me?’

‘No, Pearl, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, the lady of my dreams.’

Pearl waved him a dismissive hand. ‘Then you better go to sleep now and I’ll see you later in your dream.’

The man had a trapped expression. Pearl cocked an eye at me while motioning to him. ‘Jiang Mou, let me introduce to you my little sister Xiang Xiang.’ Then she turned to me and spoke commandingly, ‘Xiang Xiang, pay respect to Mr. Jiang, the most famous oil portraitist in Shanghai. So if you’re lucky and behave, maybe someday he’ll be willing to paint you and make you very famous.’

‘Will you, Mr. Jiang?’ I asked, feeling colour rising in my cheeks.

‘If your sister says so,’ Jiang Mou said as his eyes kept moving all over Pearl.

Pearl continued to make small talk with Mr. Jiang while throwing him flirtatious glances and brushing his body with her smooth arms and fingers. Finally she whispered something into his ear and made a dismissive wave, at which the famous portraitist sauntered away like an obedient dog.

Pearl turned to me. ‘Xiang Xiang, now why don’t we start to read again?’

The lantern I’d picked was in the shape of a rooster, its riddle was written in walking-style calligraphy:

Its body can break the bellies of evil spirits

Its breath roars like thunder

Its sound rips up the sky and tears off the earth

But when you look back, it’s already a heap of ashes. (anobject)

I yelled to Pearl, ‘Firecrackers!’

She turned to look at me appreciatively, ‘Good, Xiang Xiang, now read this one.’ She pointed to a phoenix.

Face as beautiful as the crescent moon and ears alert as a night owl’s.

Ten thousand arms reach for ten thousand desperate voices. (a personage)

Again I blurted out, ‘Guan Yin, the Goddess of Mercy, who listens to the cries of the needy and goes to help!’

Pearl cocked an eye at me. ‘Very good, you’re really smart, eh?’ Now she pointed to a lotus. ‘Then what about this?’

Just then a loud explosive sound shattered the air.

‘Oh, my heaven!’ Pearl screamed, ‘someone’s got shot!’

‘How do you know?’

‘This is not the first time that it happened. It’s too terrible. Let’s go find out who’s the lucky one.’ Pearl grabbed my arm and we sped to the source of the sound.