Читать книгу Kate Vernon - Mrs. Alexander - Страница 9

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Another day of calm and deep enjoyment.

I took my way to the Priory House at a very early hour, in order to make the sketch I had promised Miss Vernon. She was reading to her grandfather when I arrived, and welcomed me joyously, entering with eager interest into my preparations for drawing, and the various questions which arose as to the objects to be taken in, &c., in a way, too, which showed some knowledge of the art; and hour after hour slipped by as I sat before the window, sometimes laying down my pencil to talk with the Colonel, sometimes caressing his fine old dog, who appeared to have established a species of guard over me; while Kate, constantly watchful of my progress, flitted backwards and forwards between me and the open window, often pointing with her rosy forefinger to some shading she wished deepened, or some light brought into stronger relief; branching off from discussions on the effects of distance, &c., into all sorts of irrelevant subjects, then blaming herself for interrupting me, and exhorting me to renewed diligence; and all this so naturally, so earnestly, showing openly her pleasure at having me to talk to, but without one shadow of that indescribable consciousness by which so many women seem to say to themselves, "Now I know he is going to make love to me." No, strongly as I felt tempted to do so, there was a frankness and repose in Miss Vernon's manner I would not for worlds have disturbed by even a whisper of the profound admiration she inspired.

Something of the high principled and unselfish tone pervading the society into which I had fallen, appeared to influence me with more of thought for future consequences than was my usual habit; besides, there is nothing so blighting to sentimentalism as the friendly cordiality I have described; nevertheless, though I do not believe I was ever before so long in the society of a beautiful girl without getting up some degree of flirtation, the morning flew rapidly and delightfully away.

The Colonel had letters to write, and his granddaughter's visits to my impromptu studio, if fewer, were more confidential. She told me of the long visits she had paid to Lady Desmond, both in London and Dublin, and of the delightful singing lessons she had taken in the former place, adding that she owed her first and last peep at the great and gay world to her cousin. It appeared that Lady Desmond had been displeased with her for returning to Dungar, and had not written to her for a long time. "But you know," said Kate, "grandpapa was about to leave Dungar then, and I could not let him do so alone, nor go away without a last look at my old happy home." All this was told in a low tone, as if she did not wish the Colonel to overhear it, and in a confidential manner inexpressibly delightful to me. She had knelt down to caress Cormac, and after remaining for some seconds rolling up his long ear thoughtfully, looked up suddenly in my face and added, "I did not intend to bore you with such a long prose about my difficulties with Georgina; the reason I mentioned the subject at all was because I heard you tell grandpapa you had a sister at Naples. Lady Desmond was there, I heard, about a month ago, and I wish you would ask your sister, when you write, if she knows anything of her; I cannot bear to lose sight of her so completely." I promised very readily to do as she desired, though I warned her it might be months before I would get any reply, as my sister was but a careless correspondent.

"Thanks, and I will not interrupt you any more."

"You do not interrupt me in the least, I assure you; but if you are determined to go, perhaps you will sing. I see Colonel Vernon shutting his writing desk."

"With pleasure; would you like an Irish melody?"

"Beyond every thing."

And the next minute her rich voice was pouring forth in a full tide of sweetness, "Has sorrow thy young days shaded?"

I soon dropped my pencil, and even after the last notes had died away, remained listening for their renewal; then collecting my drawing materials, I rose, and promising Miss Vernon to finish the sketch from memory, I invited the Colonel to accompany me on a visit of ceremony to Mrs. Winter; it was succeeded by another peep at the studio, a walk with the Colonel, and then came the pleasant friendly dinner, the frank cheerful interchange of thought, the after-dinner cup of coffee and stroll in the pleasure ground to look at the moon reflected in the river; while Miss Vernon, courteously anxious to give me what she prized herself, gathered a bouquet of her choicest autumnal flowers, "to make me forget that horrid Carrington, at least in my own room," she said; her grandfather laughing at the idea of her expecting I should care for such things.

How delightfully homelike it all was.

Finally she sang me the serenade that had so enchanted me, and before the last notes were well hushed, Nurse announced the cab I had ordered to convey me to the railway.

I rose reluctantly, the Colonel, Nurse, and Cormac, and even Kate, coming out in the fresh night air, all perfumed with the clematis and heliotropes that adorned the front of the cottage, to see me off.

"Good bye, Captain Egerton," said Kate— "be sure to come back soon, and do not forget the drawings; have you got your flowers?"

"It would be a bold man that would attempt to take them from me, Miss Vernon; good night!"

"A thousand thanks, Colonel, for my very pleasant visit to A——."

"God bless you, take care of yourself," he replied.

"A' then the saints go wid ye!" said Nurse.

"Good bye, Mrs. O'Toole; I'll never taste an eatable trout, until I return."

"Good night once more;" and I threw myself into the cab, with a feeling of extraordinary regret, and affection for the old Colonel; for Mrs. O'Toole, aye, even for Cormac; but for Kate—Caramba, as Winter would say.

A short hour of hissing and clattering, and I was back again amongst the bustling, crowded, glaring, gas exhaling streets of Carrington; amidst the confusion of noisy omnibuses and uncouth cries, of drunken mechanics, and wretched beggar women with their imps of children!

It was after ten o'clock before I entered the mess room to report my return, (having first placed my precious flowers in safety). I found the apartment redolent of the savoury odours of dinner and cigars, and occupied by a larger party than usual; all of whom were in loud and eager debate on the respective merits of the favourites for the approaching Doncaster meeting. As soon as they perceived me through the cloudy atmosphere, I was greeted with a perfect hurricane of queries, exclamations, and offers of fifty and a hundred to one, against divers and sundry horses, colts, and fillies.

"Where, in the name of mystery, have you been skulking?"

"Hullo! Egerton, you're the very man I wanted; give me the long odds against M——'s mare; you're sure to win, and it will just square my book."

"I say, Fred, I've backed 'Tearaway,' would you have me hedge off?"

"What has become of you; you have missed such a spread at the Mayor's, and such speeches as would have driven Murray to suicide."

"A hundred to five you don't name the winner."

"Ha! Egerton, just come back?"

"Keep cool, my dear fellows, and give me some claret."

I sat down, endeavouring in vain to enter clearly into the several subjects they were so eagerly discussing, and perfectly bewildered by the strong contrast the whole scene presented to my life for the last few days. Then followed long weary debates on the coming event, interspersed with anecdotes of the villainy of certain trainers and the intense knowingness of the jockies. Finally, I began to take some interest in the details; the result partly of habit, and partly of an effort to do so, lest any appearance of pre-occupation might set my brother officers on the scent to discover its course. I was successful—for Sedley exclaimed, "I never saw Egerton return from one of his philosophic expeditions with his wits so much about him."

"By the way, you've been over to that tumble down old place A——; is it worth seeing?" said another.

"Yes, to a lover of the picturesque and antique, but it has nothing else to attract."

"Ah! that will do; I do not care for the picturesque."

"Were you successful in your search?" asked Burton imprudently.

"For what?" called out half a dozen.

"For the picturesque, of course," he replied. I breathed again.

"Yes, particularly successful." He smiled, and shrinking from the thought of my companions getting the slightest clue to his real meaning, especially in their present mood, I rose and bid them all good-night, having endured their Babel for more than two hours.

"And you will not sport even a pony on the Leger?"

"No, not a sixpence, I was bitten too severely at Ascot last spring."

"Never say die, you're not going to knock under to your luck that way?"

"I am, though, and I wish I could persuade you to do the same, Vavasour," said I, laughing, and laying my hand on the shoulder of an aristocratic looking stripling who had joined about six months before, and who coloured to the eyes at the idea of advice on prudence.

"Egerton is about to abjure the pomps and vanities of this wicked world," said one.

"He has been en retrait with Grab'em-all, the field preacher," said another.

I laughed. "Perhaps it was as pleasant as yours with Levi Solomons, and Co., last March," said I.

He reddened, but laughing good humouredly, shook his hand at me.

"Go your own way, old fellow."

"It has always been my habit, and I intend to continue it," said I coolly, and made my exit.

Refusing Burton's offer of a visit to my room, on the plea of fatigue, I threw myself in an arm chair I called my study, as I generally sat in it when disposed for thought, and tried to arrange my entangled ideas into something like order; the attempt, however, was not very successful.

Sundry rough calculations as to my chances of clearing off certain debts, and my probable amount of income; a perfect conviction that Kate Vernon was the loveliest girl, and her grandfather the most perfect old gentleman I had ever met; a vivid recollection of my past visit, and an indistinct intention of doing or saying something remarkably distinguished on my next; a vague haunting wish for some truer and more real interest than my life had ever hitherto known; such were a few of the elements in my reverie, and round them all floated a dim consciousness of Mrs. Winter's cap, and Miss Araminta Cox's yellow turban. I felt the strength of old habits returning in the levity which mingled even with my better aspirations; and fell asleep, feeling I had got a glimpse of happiness such as Nature had endowed me with capabilities of enjoying, but between which and myself circumstances had fixed a great gulf.

Of course I told Burton all my proceedings, and to do him justice he really seemed to take an interest in them, but he laughed a little at the Arcadian style of early tea and hot cakes. Burton, though still a "sub," was my senior in age by at least a couple of years; he had not been in the Regiment long, and knew nothing of the Vernons; indeed, the only officers still among us who had experienced the hospitality of Dungar, were Dashwood, now our Colonel, Hauton, and myself. I felt I ought to mention having met our old and popular acquaintance, yet I did not quite like doing so. Our Colonel was a fine, high-minded, gentleman-like fellow, who never forgot a kindness or remembered a spite. I would rather have wished him to know Vernon was within reach; but Hauton, I always disliked him, he was a cold-hearted roué, and I would almost rather have been accessory to the introduction of Satan to our first mother, than let Hauton get the entrée of Kate Vernon's refined and tranquil home. At the thought, a vision of it and the inscription over its entrance rose up before me. However, as it would have a strange effect if Colonel Dashwood was by any chance to meet Vernon and find I had concealed my rencontre with him, I determined to mention it, but in a casual way, hinting at the same time his change of fortune, which I knew would prevent Hauton from taking any vivid interest in his former hospitable entertainer.

It was not easy to get a quiet half hour in the Barracks, especially at the present exciting period—the approaching Doncaster meeting; so in order to enjoy an uninterrupted conference, Burton and I mounted our horses, and took the least frightful of the roads round Carrington. I endeavoured to convey to my companion some idea of the impression stamped on my mind by the few days I had spent at A——; its peace and simplicity, it's freedom from monotony and ennui! but it would not do; Burton was, as I think I have said, a kind-hearted, high minded fellow, but singularly free from imagination. I fancy he had met a few harder rubs in his contact with the world than I had; not that he ever talked of his own circumstances, but it was evident he was not rich.

"All this is very fine," said he, at the end of my elaborate description, "and you might like the novelty of the thing for a week or so; but take my word for it, at the end of a fortnight, you would be drawing comparisons between your philosophic society of painters and musicians, and that of your discarded Regiment, anything but favourable to the former."

"No, I do not believe it! I have for a long time felt a weariness and distaste for the life I am leading, without a notion or a hope of anything better; I do not know why, except that at thirty one begins to tire of the eternal sameness of the mess table, country quarters, slow promotion, and no very particular occupation. Up to five and twenty, military life may have its charms, but then it begins to lose its soi disant attractions. I suppose it was the dearth of variety, and the vain hope of getting up something like excitement, that induced me to make a fool of myself by plunging into various extravagances of late; they will cost me dear enough; I wish they had put me to a desk instead of buying me a commission. It's too bad to think that at my age I am no further on in the world than I was at eighteen, and unfit for anything except leading a charge or riding a steeple chase; and the brute that gave us a great dinner the other day, and bored Sedley about his 'Ock,' what was his name? 'Mogg?' ay Mogg! How old do you think the savage?"

"Fifty-five, perhaps."

"Not more than twenty-five years my senior, and began life, as an errand boy! I should like to know what and where I shall be at fifty-five; a wretched old half-pay; speculating how long I can make a ten-and-sixpenny hat last; with a bed-room in Leicester Square, and my address at the Senior United Service Club; and mine was a boyhood of bon bons, bowing tutors, and Shetland ponies."

"Why, Egerton, you are quite eloquent! I think your excursion to A—— has only served to open your eyes to the miseries you were before unconscious of; I'd prefer happy ignorance; I conclude the English of all this is, that Miss Vernon's angelic voice and beautiful eyes incline you to matrimony, while common sense warns you off, eh?"

"Pshaw! nonsense! I am not going to declare Miss Vernon is essential to my existence; I dare say I shall have to scramble through life without such companionship; but I do not hesitate to say, I would be a happier man if I thought I had a chance of it; ay, and a better one," I added, after a pause. "I might have some pretension to think of matrimony but for my own confounded folly in incumbering my younger son's portion, as I have done;" and I stuck the spurs into my unfortunate horse's sides, who resented the injustice, by a series of wild plunges, and gave me some trouble to reduce him to order.

After walking our horses on for a few paces in silence, Burton said gravely, "I see this is more serious than I at first thought, but whatever your feelings may be, for God's sake, do not rush into any imprudent marriage; it is the most fatal mistake any man ever made; there's not one in a thousand who has the stuff in him to stand its accompaniments unflinchingly; a hundred to one but the consciousness of having dragged himself and the woman he loved into such a scrape, sours his temper and makes him a brute to his wife and a tyrant to his children. I have seen such examples, that I do believe the best proof of affection a poor man can give, is to fly at the first fire from Cupid's battery; and my advice to you is to avoid A—— and its attractions. Do not go on looking and insinuating a thousand things you can never accomplish; but which, in spite of all we say of their inconstancy, live in a girl's memory for many a day after we have forgotten all about it."

"By Jove! I must be a more conceited fellow than any in England, if I could for a moment imagine that Miss Vernon would waste a thought on me when I was out of her sight; I wish you could just hear her easy unembarrassed way of begging me to be sure to return; it was the coolest address I ever received from a young lady; her heart and mind seem too well filled to be easily accessible; yet—but I dare not try; you speak truly, Burton, about imprudent marriages; still, I think, it would be worth a struggle to get my affairs into training. I would not ask any woman to marry into poverty, but one might be satisfied with competence and"—

"Just the way all men argue when they want to do a foolish act; what would be competence to a man of your habits?"

"Nevertheless, I'll think about it, and look up Egerton; he ought to have bowels of compassion for his brother as well as for every benighted blackamoor under the sun; and his expenses are, I believe, limited to subscribing to all kinds of Evangelical Missions."

"Do you mean then seriously to contemplate——?"

"Burton! pray do not look so dismal; I tell you it's a long look out; I do not know what I shall do."

"You'll go over to A—— in spite of my warning?"

"Oh, I must; I promised Miss Vernon; believe me, I am the only one likely to suffer from my imprudence; and then I will return no more till I have seen Egerton; or—in short, let us just cross the country here, the corn seems all cut, and it will break in the horses for the hunting."

In accordance with my determination, I seized the first interval in a rather professional conversation between Colonel Dashwood and a retired General he had invited to dinner, to tell him of my accidental meeting with his old acquaintance; sinking the fact, however, of his having a grand-daughter.

"What, old D'Arcy Vernon, of Dungar," he exclaimed; "how curious! and so he is living there, is he? I am sorry to hear it, he must have left Dungar then in toto?"

"Or Dungar left him," sneered Hauton. "It was en route, if I am not much mistaken, when we were there."

"The first day I can, I'll go over to A——, and bring back the old Colonel with me," said our good natured Commander. "I owe him a vast amount of hospitality, and shall be too glad to show him I have not forgotten it; poor fellow! at his age; he must be more than seventy-five!"

"He looks remarkably well," I said, "just the same as ever."

"The Irish have such happy temperaments," said Dashwood, turning to the General.

"Yes, they are like the Niggers in many respects," said Hauton; "the more you beat them the better they be."

I restrained my inclination to shy a decanter at his head with great difficulty.

The ten succeeding days went over wonderfully well; I found the promised drawings of Dungar for Kate, and worked up the sketch I had taken of the Priory, to the very best of my abilities. I took long rides with Burton, and often without him, not finding him so congenial as I wished. I wrote a long letter to my sister, and made all proper enquiries for Lady Desmond, without, however, explaining the cause of my curiosity. It was so long since I had seen Mary; I did not know how her heart had stood the wear and tear of four years' dissipation. How fond we were of each other, as children!

Finally, I wrote to Colonel Vernon, telling him about Dashwood and all the gossip I could think would amuse him; sending a message to Kate as to the drawings, and promising to be over with them in the course of the following week.

Altogether, I was much too busy to look into my own affairs, but promised myself to overhaul them completely on my return from A——. I secured a week's leave, and determined to throw care to the dogs, and enjoy myself thoroughly. I started before almost any one, except Burton (whose habits were quiet and regular), was visible. He joined me as I stood on the steps, while my servant was placing my carpet bag and portfolio in the cab which was to convey me to the Railway.

"So you're going, are you?"

"Whatever skies above,

Here's a heart for any fate!"

Said I, laughing, and too much elated at the week's freedom and enjoyment before me to be damped by his lugubrious tone. We shook hands, and I left him whistling with a reflective air.

I little thought where we would meet again.