Читать книгу Jewel - Myrna G. Raines - Страница 6

“Matilda! The mail come! Bring it here. I’m polishin’ my toenails.” Jewel Howser yelled at the top of her voice, but still that good for nothing maid didn’t hear her or acted like she didn’t. She’d just been up there and Jewel knew she couldn’t have got far. Had just started down the stairs after finishing up cleaning Bull’s bedroom. “Matilda! Bring me that mail or I’ll tell Bull you didn’t do like I said!” Jewel threatened to tell on her, but she knew it wouldn’t do no good to tell Bull nothing about his precious Tilda. And Bull was the only one allowed to call her Tilda. Since Bull was gone most of the time, the tall, grey haired, stout woman run the place. Jewel didn’t stand a chance against her with Matilda treating her like a little kid all the time.

Matilda heard her the first time. She just liked to get that young’un in an uproar. She turned real red in the face and the curls in her dyed blonde hair come all undone where she shook her head so much that she had to pin them curls back up. Everybody said that Jewel was trying to look like Betty Grable did in that pin up that all the soldiers had in their lockers in the war.

They didn’t know that Bull had made Jewel wear her hair in that style since they’d been married. Once Jewel tried to fix her hair like Veronica Lake’s but Bull didn’t like it. “What do you think you’re doin’?” he’d asked, and told her quite sternly to pin it back up. And Jewel went the next day and had it curled back up on top of her head. He liked the Betty Grable look better probably because that’s the way the real Mrs. Howser wore her hair before she died. But Jewel didn’t know anything about the first Mrs. Howser, and more than likely wouldn’t have said anything to Bull if she had.

Matilda never had liked this snip of a girl that Bull done brung home. He was acting like nothing but an old fool! And she aggravated that little hussy every chance she got and had been ever since Bull come dragging her in somewhere around ten years before. She knew Bull wouldn’t do nothing about it. Did Matilda’s heart good to see the spoiled little prissy pants get so discombobulated.

Bull Howser did spoil Jewel. Matilda reckoned he felt like he had to if he was gonna keep her. The man was forty years older than her if he was a day. Made Matilda sick to see an old man like that panting after a woman that wasn’t much more than a girl, and was nothing but a young’un when he’d brought her there.

Bull had picked Jewel up and brought her home when he went down to West Virginia to dig some gas wells. He said at the time that she was eighteen, but Matilda could see that she couldn’t have been more than fifteen or sixteen at the most. Bull was fifty-five and here he was hauling around a fifteen year old. But Bull wasn’t just hauling her. The damn fool had married her! The marriage license said she was eighteen and that wasn’t nothing but a downright made up lie. After one glance at the little girl that still had some growing to do, Matilda knew exactly why Bull had married that young’un. Jewel had the look of Clarice, Bull’s dead wife, and she knew he’d just found him a substitute. The man hadn’t even looked at another woman in the five years since Clarice died and here he’d done brought one home that looked about like the way Clarice used to look.

Matilda, who had no family of her own, kept house and cooked for Bull Howser and literally worshipped the ground he walked on. She’d worked for him almost ever since he’d married the real Mrs. Howser back some thirty years ago. She didn’t work for this little trollop, but Bull told her to be good to Jewel, so she tried because he’d told her to, but she’d only go so far to please her. She wasn’t in the market for raising no kid. And no matter what Bull said, that’s just exactly what the new Mrs. Howser was. Matilda thought about quitting her job many times after the young’un came, but she was attached to Bull, couldn’t bring herself to leave him, and where else could she get paid what she did and still do purty durned much as she pleased? Besides, she delighted in getting on Jewel’s nerves. Made her life worth living.

“I’m a bringin’ it, Miss Jewel! Jus’ give me a minute. This corn o’ mine is killin’ me this mornin’. I knowed it was gonna rain, sure as shootin’. That corn been hurtin’ since yestidy.” And it hadn’t rained a drop, although it had clouded up some.

Bull had told Matilda when he brought Jewel there that her parents were dead and that she had been living with two of her brothers. Thinking incest, as a lot of stories came out of West Virginia and a few other mountain states about that, her eyebrows shot up, and for the first time since she’d been there, Bull actually gave her a disapproving look. “No, it wasn’t like that, Tilda, and I can vouch for that.” And Matilda instantly apologized for even thinking it. She shoulda known that Bull wouldn’t marry no used woman. Jewel had come to him like Clarice had, untouched, but he’d known that before he married her. By the way she acted he could tell she didn’t know nothing about sex. Evidently because her brothers hadn’t told her nothing about it.

Bull couldn’t tell Matilda much about Jewel’s family because Bull didn’t know it all, only what he’d heard when he was down there drilling, and he really didn’t care enough to ask. He had married Jewel for one reason only. He liked to look at her and had to have her because, apart from her dark hair, she was almost the spitting image of Clarice. If they hadn’t lived so far apart, and them being so different, he might have thought they were related somehow.

Jewel’s oldest brother, Clive, was married, and the younger one, Clay, wasn’t, but was sparking some girl named Macie Larson who lived down in Big Bend. And from what Bull had heard, they’d be marrying soon because Macie had done gone and got herself in trouble so they had to get married. Bull didn’t know that Macie lost that young’un she was carrying. All he knew was that Clay owned fifty acres of land that Clive had given him when he turned eighteen. It was his share of the land their daddy had owned, but neither of them boys would sell Bull the mineral rights. He was still carrying a grudge about that because he knew there was gas under that land, but he couldn’t make them sell even though he’d tried every trick in the book. Jewel didn’t get no land or nothing because they figured that when she got married her husband would take care of her.

The oldest boy got the home place, of course, but Clay’s half wasn’t bad. Just needed a house on it and Clay was trying to hurry and build it so he could marry Macie and they could set up housekeeping. But before he had struck a tap on it, Jewel had done took off with Bull and they lived up around Chillicothe, Ohio somewhere.

When Clive and Clay found out their barely fifteen year old sister was gonna marry that old coot, Bull Howser, the fur flew. They’d had a couple of run-ins with him over him pestering them about buying the mineral rights to their property and they’d told him time and time again that they weren’t selling for nothing—-to just get out of their sight. Several of the other farms around them, especially out on Cutter’s Fork had sold him their rights, and he was already drilling on their land, tearing it up something awful. The only good thing that come out of Bull buying up them rights was that he brought in a grader and graded them a pretty good road from Big Bend over to Cutter’s Fork. It wasn’t paved, but it was better than what they’d had.

How Jewel ever got mixed up with Bull Howser, they never knew, but they’d seen him eyeballing her when he’d come around trying to get them to sell. And Jewel saw it, too, and would shyly grin at him like that old man was the same age she was and coulda been a suitor. She’d looked out the window and saw that big black Chrysler that Bull drove and wanted it so bad her heart hurt. They didn’t know that Jewel was so taken with that big black sedan that she’d sneak out of the house every chance she got to go be where he was at, flirting and acting like a starry eyed fool over him. He’d take her by the hand and show her what they were doing on the drilling operation and she’d just smile because she had no idea what he was talking about, using all them big words she’d never heard before. The men on his work crew thought it was funny, the way old Bull acted when Jewel was around. But hell, she never acted that way with them and they would have probably done the same things Bull did if she had. Jewel was a very pretty young girl, especially with those big clear blue eyes and those long dark lashes that curled up long and thick. Couldn’t hardly get your eyes away from hers to look at the rest of her, which wasn’t bad, neither. Put that ragged girl in some fancy clothes that fit her and she’d be downright beautiful.

And Bull could apparently see that. It wasn’t long before Bull was asking her if she wanted to go with him when he left. He’d done finished his job and the rest of it was up to his men. Jewel got all excited and couldn’t think about nothing else but leaving with Bull in that big black car. While being scared to death, she couldn’t help but think about all the things she’d see and the fact that she’d never been nowhere except to school and right around Big Bend. The school was in the bottom below Big Bend, and the church they went to wasn’t even all the way in town. It was on the road that led down to it, but before you got to it. Anything she’d seen outside of that secluded little world she lived in she’d seen in picture books at school. Jewel had no idea how big the state of West Virginia was much less the world.

Bull was no fool and was well aware that Jewel didn’t know nothing from nothing. She’d lived in that same house her whole life and hadn’t seen much. He told her all about his big house, and all the things he’d buy for her if she’d only come with him. She deserved better than being stuck back in these mountains with nothing but the clothes on her back. Why, if she went with him he’d see that she had the prettiest dresses you ever saw and jewels, lots of jewels; because she was a Jewel and she ought to be wearing them. And Jewel got caught up in everything he was telling her, thinking she’d have a wonderful life if he’d only take her with him.

When Bull came by the home place to get her when he was leaving to return home, there was one hell of a row. Jewel’s brothers and Bull argued and almost came to blows, with the brothers telling Bull that he wasn’t taking their little sister nowhere and he’d better get off their land. Jewel screamed and begged right there in the front yard, wanting so bad to go with Bull, and when he saw he was getting absolutely nowhere with Clive and Clay, he pushed Clive back with his hand, taking him by surprise with Clive running into Clay who stood behind him. Grabbing Jewel by the arm, he practically threw her in the car, and took off down the road with that big Chrysler fishtailing all over the place, until the car was almost obscured by the dust flying up in the air.

They sure couldn’t give chase without a car, and the son of a bitch was betting on that, but Clive could stop him from taking Jewel, by God! He ran in the house, grabbed his rifle and was gonna blow out one of Bull’s tires, but Dorie grabbed the barrel of the gun and pointed it up in the air. She told Clive he might hit Jewel since they couldn’t see good, to just let her go, that she’d find a way to get with Bull, anyhow. They just hated it because Bull was so old and Jewel wasn’t nothing but a young’un yet. That poor child couldn’t know what she was letting herself in for. Besides, they didn’t like Bull nohow and it was no telling how he’d treat their little sister.

Bull drove over to Charleston with Jewel so keyed up she was practically jumping up and down on the seat. This was the biggest doings of her life! Why, she’d never been this far from home before! Everything was new and exciting and when Bull pulled her over next to him on the seat and put his arm around her, she let him, although she was a little leery of what he might do. She’d never sat that close to any man except Clive and Clay.

Then Bull started in on her brothers and cussed them to hell and back with Jewel sitting there not saying nothing because she was scared to. But all of a sudden, he changed and started laughing and telling her what all he was gonna buy her when they got to town, just like Clive and Clay had gone out of his mind completely. And he did buy her all kinds of clothes, filling the trunk of the car with packages like it was nothing. Bull picked out dresses, skirts and blouses, sweaters and shoes and lingerie, the likes of which Jewel had never even seen before except in the catalog. All those shoes fascinated Jewel. She’d only owned one pair at a time and she wore those everywhere she went, when she didn’t go barefoot, cleaning and polishing them up for church. When her shoes would get too small and they couldn’t afford another pair right then, Clive would cut slits in the tops of them until he could come up with the money to order her another pair from the Sears & Roebuck, Montgomery Ward, or the Alden’s catalog. And she always got the cheapest pair Clive could find, no matter whether she liked them or not. It was going to take some getting used to, having all those different shoes to go with different dresses.

She appreciated everything Bull bought for her, but she wished he’d a let her pick out some stuff. Jewel liked the frilly dresses and blouses, but Bull picked out things like her school teacher would wear. Jewel didn’t like suits that much, but Bull bought her quite a few of those, when all she wanted was that red and white polka dotted dress with all the ruffles in the skirt. With red shoes. That woulda been real pretty. But he wouldn’t let her get them. When he said he’d buy her clothes, she never thought he’d be the one picking them out. Heck, Clive had done that her whole life. But when it come to the night clothes, he bought things that downright made her blush. While she liked the feel of the pretty filmy lingerie, some of them looked downright indecent.

The last thing Bull bought was a wedding band. It had diamonds all across it, real ones, not rhinestones, and Jewel had been so busy admiring that ring that she didn’t hear the price of it. If she had, she’d have been afraid to wear it. They’d found a Justice of the Peace who agreed to marry them, and Jewel put down that she was eighteen because you had to be eighteen to get married. She was so nervous that the fountain pen shook and that old justice just sat there and looked suspiciously at the odd looking couple. Him fifty-five and her fifteen but the justice didn’t know that, since Bull looked younger than his years and Jewel looked older in that fancy lace dress and hat that Bull made her wear. She’d changed clothes in a filling station bathroom and when she got up enough nerve to come out, Bull’s eyes teared up, and she wondered about that. He musta thought she looked real pretty.

When they got to the hotel, Jewel was having second thoughts, and was asking herself if the Chrysler and the clothes was worth having to kiss that old man. So far, she’d only kissed him on the cheek and Dorie had told her some stories about men and women that had her scared to death and she was hoping that Dorie was lying. Bull wouldn’t try to stick his thing in her toosie. She was too little and he was too big. But Dorie had told her not to let nobody do that till he was her husband. Sounded downright nasty to her and Bull just wouldn’t do a thing like that.

All of that went out of her mind like a smooth stone from a slingshot when she got a look at the hotel room. Jewel was all excited about the pretty furnishings in the room, going all around, touching everything and examining the bathroom that totally captured her attention. She understood the bathtub, but when Bull explained the shower to her, she wanted to get in it right then. Why, it’d be like being under the waterfall down under the hill on the farm that was too little to get under, only this one was warm. And it was and she didn’t want to get out, but Bull hollered for her. She put on one of her new gowns and robes that Bull had got her, and came out of the bathroom a little hesitant because it was so thin you could see almost everything right through it. Bull had already changed into a funny looking robe and he didn’t have no pants on because she could see his bare legs shining. Understanding that she had to sleep in the same bed with Bull, since Clive and Dorie did and they was married, she was uncertain and didn’t quite know what she was supposed to do.

To her horror, Jewel soon found out that Dorie wasn’t lying when she’d told her what husbands and wives did in the bed. Running her hand over the soft cotton chenille of the bedspread, she wasn’t aware when Bull locked the door. Coming up from behind her, he grabbed her around the waist and threw her down on the bed, ripping her new nightgown right off before she even knew what he was doing. When he pulled her panties down and off her feet, she thought she’d die of shame. He fell on top of her and was putting his slobbery mouth all over her face and she was struggling, kicking her legs, and beating him on the back, trying to get him off of her. She was scared within an inch of her life!

“Stop it, Bull! Yer hurtin’ me! Yer heavier ’an lead.” Grabbing at her tit, she thought Bull was gonna tear it off and she couldn’t scream because every time she tried, he’d put his big old mouth over hers again and durn near smother her.

Jewel felt the hard thing between her legs, trying to push into her toosie and it hurt something fierce and she was trying to hold her legs together so he couldn’t do what Dorie had told her. She begged him to stop, that it was killing her, but Bull wouldn’t, just brought his knee up and spread her legs apart. She cried, she pleaded, but nothing worked. Felt like he was breaking through bones and she bit her fist to keep from screaming. But he finally broke through the barrier that was hurting her so bad, and then it didn’t hurt that bad anymore. He grunted like an old pig going up and down on top of her with that big ole thing pushing in and out till finally, she felt something warm gushing up inside of her and he collapsed right down on her and quit pushing. Jewel was never so glad of anything in her life. She couldn’t understand what happened to Bull, because one minute his thing was hard as a rock and the next minute it wasn’t nothing but soft and mushy like a old dead snake and he was breathing real hard in her ear.

Was this what women traded for room and board? Had she traded a life of pain for a car and some new clothes? She thought of all the wives sitting in church and couldn’t imagine them ever doing nothing like what she just done. Evidently Clive and Dorie did because she was the one who told her about it. Why would they want to do it for? And then she remembered that Dorie told her it was how you got a baby growing in yer belly. Did Bull want her to get a baby? He must, awful bad, or he wouldn’t a done nothing like that.

Why didn’t her brothers try harder to keep her from going with Bull? If Dorie knew all about this nasty and painful stuff you did when you was married, then Clive did, too, and had to know what Bull would do to her. Right then, she didn’t think much of her brothers. And she downright hated Bull Howser.

When Bull got his breath back, he got up off her and went to the bathroom where he stayed for a long time and it give her some time to get herself together. He hadn’t even said a word to her, but it coulda been because she wouldn’t even look at him. She laid there and cried and thought about going back home but Bull wouldn’t never take her back to Clive and Dorie’s. Jewel was now his wife and she’d said for better or worse, and it scared her to death! She was stuck with him. When she finally got up off the bed, though, something was running down her legs and she looked down and saw blood and some snotty looking stuff just running down. Scared the life right out of her! She went flying to the door of the bathroom and yelled at Bull that she was bleeding out of her toosie where he’d stuck his thing in there.

Jewel must undoubtedly be the dumbest girl he’d ever seen in his entire life. Didn’t even know that women bled the first time. She was fifteen, for gosh sake. She should know something. Hell, he reckoned he’d have to teach her a few things.

“That’s normal, honey. All girls bleed the first time.” And couldn’t keep the laughter out of his voice, not that he tried. Jewel heard him making fun of her. Did he think it was funny that she was bleeding? “Come in here and get a towel and wipe it off. Won’t hurt you none. It’ll be better next time.”

Next time? She didn’t want no next time! Maybe she’d already got a baby and he wouldn’t have to do that no more. But she put on what was left of her robe and went in and got a wet washcloth and still not looking at Bull, went back into the bedroom and wiped off her legs and toosie. It was sore, but she figured she was none the worse for wear because she could still walk. When she started to put the washcloth back in the sink, Bull grabbed her and pulled her down on his lap right there on the commode where he was taking a shit.

She fought him, trying to get up off his lap, but he wouldn’t let her up. “My baby. My little baby,” Bull was murmuring over and over. “I didn’t mean to hurt you but you jus’ been teasin’ me all this time, and I couldn’t help myself.” He grabbed ahold of her tit and stuck the nipple in his mouth and sat there and sucked it like a baby.

Jewel was scared of what he might do next and was mortified at first that he’d suck on her tits but then it started feeling pretty good. She didn’t mind this part. If she’d let him do this every once in a while, would he still buy her pretty clothes and rings like the one he’d got her? That wouldn’t be so awful bad.

But in the middle of the night, after Bull was sound asleep and snoring up a storm, Jewel was still awake, pondering on everything that had happened to her. She’d actually liked that titty sucking part and wondered if mommies felt that way when a baby was sucking milk out of their tits. Jewel hadn’t had any intimate conversations with women. Hadn’t had anyone to tell her what to expect as a woman. All she had was her brothers. And then Dorie had explained a few things to her about being married.

Thank goodness, Dorie had been there when she started having her monthly, because it scared the mortal fire out of her. Thinking she must a got cut, she’d run in the house from the toilet and stuffed some old rags in her panties even though she didn’t feel like she was cut anywhere. She went back to the yard where Dorie was working in the flowers and told her that she must a cut herself down there because she was bleeding something awful. And that’s when Dorie explained about her monthly, and that she could get a baby now. Then Dorie sat in the swing and told her what husbands and wives did to get them. She didn’t mention it again. Jewel thought she must be lying because nobody would do such a thing. And Clive and Dorie didn’t have no young’uns and they’d been married a long time.

The next morning, Jewel woke up and for a moment, didn’t know where she was. She soon learned though, because Bull grabbed her. His thing was hard as a rock and he wanted to stick it in her again, and she didn’t want him to. He kept kissing her and she didn’t like that because his breath stunk something awful and she wanted to get up out of the bed, but he held her in there and wouldn’t let her get up. She was scared to death, but figured she might as well get it over with because she wanted to get back in that shower again. Jewel tensed herself for the pain that was to come, but this time it didn’t hurt near as bad. She was sore, and had some bruises on her legs, but she didn’t feel that awful pain like she’d felt the night before. Maybe she’d get through this marrying thing after all. Dorie had said it was downright pleasurable. She sure wouldn’t go that far, but she didn’t think she’d dread it like she did. And Bull was right, she didn’t bleed this time. If Bull would buy her pretty stuff, she’d let him do that any time he wanted to.

After Bull got through with her, he went out somewhere and got them breakfast while she got back in the shower. When she come out, he had her clothes laid out on the bed that she was supposed to wear that day. At the time, Jewel didn’t know, but Bull would choose her clothes for a very long time. Then they drove for hours and hours, with Jewel being amazed at all the new things she saw.

She was downright flabbergasted when they pulled up in front of a big brick house and Bull told her that it was her new home. She stepped out of the car and looked around at the large house. Lord, it was a mansion! If only Clive and Clay could see this place. And Dorie would just die! One, two, three, six winders on the first floor and six more on the top. And two doors right together! Why would anybody need two doors to get in a house? Somebody really fat musta built this place.

And the inside was just as grand. Jewel thought she was in hog heaven and all because she’d let Bull do that thing to her, twict. What would he do if she let him do it every day? Lord, she’d have anything she wanted! Jewel couldn’t wait to write to Clive and Clay and tell them what all she had and that they wasn’t nothing but lowlifes living back there in West Virginia in that little house. Ain’t that what Bull called them when he was cussing them just about all the way to Charleston? And she had wrote that letter, and hadn’t seen them since she’d left home with Bull. Oh, Bull went back every so often because of his drilling operations, but she never went back. She was too afraid he might leave her there because something was just not right.

Jewel always had the feeling that she was lacking something that Bull wanted from her—-something that she couldn’t give him. And she couldn’t give him something if she didn’t know what it was. After a few weeks of living with Bull, there was just little things he said and did that made her think he wasn’t completely satisfied with her. She let him do that nasty thing any time he wanted to, although at times it still hurt her some. What else did he want? It really bothered Jewel at first, but after wracking her brain, trying to figure it out, she just let it go, and did whatever she could to please him. He liked blonde hair, he said, and took her to the beauty shop and had it dyed even though she didn’t want it blonde. He liked it up, so the beauty operator fixed it that way. He was always telling her to stand up straight, don’t say ‘ain’t’ and things like that, even though he did. But he always called her his baby, his little darling and didn’t hit her or nothing. So it must not be as bad as she thought.

And he was all the time buying her things, and giving her money to go shopping on, and she really liked that. After a year or so, it didn’t make no difference that she might not be pleasing to Bull, because nothing ever come of it. He was gone off drilling most of the time and that suited Jewel just fine. At that time she was still waiting for the pleasurable part that Dorie had told her about because Bull wanted to do that nasty thing all the time when he was home. Jewel just laid there and waited for him to get mushy again so it’d be over. He’d be leaving again soon and she got along fine right there by herself. If it wasn’t for Matilda picking on her all the time, she figured she had it made.

Matilda came limping into Jewel’s bedroom and threw the mail on the dressing table where Jewel had one foot propped up on the edge, giving her toenails another coat of polish. She had to quickly move her foot or the mail would have hit the new polish she’d just put on. Jewel liked having her own bedroom where she could do pretty much what she wanted to do. They didn’t sleep in the same room anymore because Bull’s snoring kept her awake, and he didn’t want to do the nasty more than once a month or so now. He was getting really old and told Jewel after he done it he couldn’t breathe so good. So he just pulled her down on his lap and sucked on her tits some and nuzzled her ear. It made Matilda sick when she’d walk into a room and see Jewel sitting on Bull’s lap, and then they’d go upstairs. Matilda didn’t know that Bull went to his room and Jewel to hers, even though she made both the beds the next morning. She just figured that Jewel went to her own room afterwards, knowing full well how Bull snored till they both thought the house might cave in. She couldn’t blame the girl for getting away from all that noise.

Jewel was relieved that Bull couldn’t do that much with her anymore because she’d found a man who shot her over the moon and all the way up to the stars. Dan Jenkins worked for Bull and she’d run into him one day in Bull’s office. Jewel was just sitting there waiting for Bull to get back from wherever he was and her and Dan got to talking. He was flirting with her, telling her how pretty she was and all and Jewel was eating it up like candy and felt like she’d known him all her life. And he was sure good looking. And young. After she’d seen Dan there, she’d think up any excuse she could to go to Bull’s office and sometimes Dan would be there and sometimes he wouldn’t. Her stomach did flip-flops whenever he was around and she was getting downright obsessed with getting to see Dan Jenkins. And she lived with disappointment when she didn’t.

Dan knew women and after seeing her there in Bull’s office more than a few times, he figured out what she was up to. She must have the ‘hots’ for him and he asked her to meet him somewhere they could be alone. Evidently old Bull just couldn’t satisfy somebody as young as Jewel. The next night they were at a hotel and Dan started kissing around on her and she was hesitant at first because she’d never kissed nobody but Bull. The more Dan kissed on her though, the more she was feeling something she never felt with Bull. Jewel would have never believed it, but she actually wanted to do that nasty thing with Dan!

Before too long, she was giving freely to Dan what Bull had had to take from her. She’d finally found the pleasurable part that she never had with Bull. After that night, Jewel was giving enthusiastically, and she and Dan would find anywhere they could to do the deed, even if they had to do it in the backseat of Bull’s Chrysler that Jewel had learned to drive. Old Bull was none the wiser, but she had to keep her eye out for Matilda, because that woman would tell Bull anything she could to get rid of her.

Bull taught Jewel how to drive the big car because he wasn’t around all the time and Matilda didn’t drive at all. Jewel kept after him until he finally relented and it didn’t take her too long to learn how the gas, brake and clutch was used to get the car going. Steering came naturally to Jewel. Besides, when Bull was home he hardly ever went out anywhere, just wanted to stay home so it was only logical that she learn how to drive. He didn’t go to movies, and Jewel loved them, even if she did have to sit and watch them by herself. Because of her taking his car all the time, he’d decided to buy her a car of her very own and she had nearly died when he brought that new car home. So had Matilda, who gave her a dirty look when she’d grabbed Bull and planted a big old kiss on him. Then she went out in that big, shiny new Chrysler and tried to find Dan to show him what Bull done bought her, but she couldn’t find him. She ended up showing it to the people who worked in Bull’s office, but that wasn’t the same as letting Dan see it.

“There’s yer mail, Mrs. Howser,” Matilda said sarcastically, but sarcasm was lost on Jewel. She didn’t even know what it was. Matilda just downright didn’t like her and she wouldn’t talk to her civil like. When she’d had her first run in with the cantankerous maid, Jewel had tried to get Bull to get rid of Matilda, but he wouldn’t, telling Jewel that the woman had been with him since he was young and he would keep her till she died. That had really got Jewel’s goat, but she hadn’t said nothing more about it, noting the look of absolute coldness on Bull’s face when she’d asked him.

When her toenails dried, she decided to open the mail before doing her fingernails because she didn’t want to mess them up. She was meeting Dan at six o’clock and Bull was down in Kentucky somewhere. She’d told Matilda that she could have the night off because she was just going to read some of her magazines.

Like Matilda needed her permission to do anything. When Bull was out of town, Matilda did pretty much what she pleased and Jewel just left her alone. The house was big enough that they didn’t even have to see one another. Maybe she’d go into Chillicothe and go to the showhouse, Jewel told her. She always tried to cover her bases because Matilda could possibly see her out somewhere in the Chrysler. Although she’d asked Matilda if she could take her into town, Matilda would always decline and ride the bus. Jewel couldn’t understand that unless she was afraid of her driving. Bull had bought him a new Cadillac and her another black Chrysler. She sure liked them Chryslers. Every couple of years he’d buy them new cars because Bull said he wasn’t driving no rattletraps.

Sorting through the mail, most of it was for Bull, bills and such. There was a couple of catalogs for her because she’d found out you could fill out that little order form and stuff would come straight to the house. She figured that’s how Clive got her clothes because she never got to pick them out. He’d just go down to the post office and bring a box of stuff home and there’d be a dress or shoes and underwear for her. Some of the stuff she ordered herself at Bull’s house looked good in the catalog but wasn’t that pretty when you got it but most of the things she got from the Spiegel catalog, she liked. And Bull didn’t pick out her clothes no more. As she got older, her taste in clothing changed, and Bull was pretty well satisfied with what she bought, and if he wasn’t, he didn’t say nothing about it.

She picked up a letter addressed to her in a familiar hand, and it shocked her. A letter from Clive, and the rest of the mail was forgotten. She hadn’t heard from them in years! Staring at the writing on the envelope, she was trying to think back to when she had heard from her family last. Oh, she still sent them Christmas cards, fancy ones, so they’d know how much money she had. And Macie had sent her letters when the kids were born, telling her about them. Maybe Clive and Dorie had had a young’un and they was writing to tell her about it. As far as she knew, they’d never had a young’un as long as they’d been married. She’d never got pregnant herself, and she wondered about that. Was it her, or was it Bull? Had to be her because she’d been carrying on with Dan almost ever since she’d married Bull and she still wasn’t expecting.

She slowly opened the envelope, thinking if it wasn’t a new young’un, that Clive was probably gonna ask her for money. He’d got himself in too deep somewhere and needed her to bail him out. Well, he had another think coming. Jewel had money. Bull give her lots of money to spend and sometimes she didn’t spend it all. But she sure wasn’t gonna send it to Clive. She wasn’t gonna send him one red cent!

What she read, though, made her a little sick at her stomach. It wasn’t a young’un and it wasn’t money that Clive wanted although he did mention it. Clay and Macie had been poisoned by some moonshine they’d drunk to celebrate her birthday. They’d buried them two days before and they’d left three kids that needed a place to stay. Three? She only knew about Clay, Jr. and Shannon. How old was the third one? They hadn’t wrote and told her about that one. Must have come along after he got back from overseas. But Clive went on to explain that Clay, Jr. was seven, Shannon was five and Nathaniel was eight months old. Why couldn’t Clive and Dorie keep ’em? He explained that, too. Dorie was finally expecting and the baby would be born in five months. There was no way Dorie could keep them young’uns, according to Clive, because they had to move up to Logan County and take care of Dorie’s mom and dad. Couldn’t she find it in her heart to take in these young’uns for Clay and Macie’s sake?

Well, don’t that just beat all, Jewel thought as she paced up and down her bedroom, staring at the letter in her hand as if it were some kind of death sentence. What was she supposed to do with them? She had her own life. She didn’t have time to take care of no young’uns. There was Bull who would have a fit and there was Dan who she’d never get to see if she had all them young’uns around all the time. But Clive went on to say that they’d go to a orphan’s home if she didn’t take them in. None of Macie’s family couldn’t take them. They hardly had enough to feed what they had. And Jewel remembered Macie’s family and how poor they was. They even had less than the Logan’s. Lordy, she didn’t know what to do! She wasn’t too bothered that she never saw her family, but she always knew they were there. And Clive and Clay had taken care of her after their mommy and daddy died. What if Clay hadn’t quit school and took care of her when she went into that spell she had that time? What if they’d sent her to a orphan’s home because they were boys and she was a girl? It had been mentioned by somebody, Clive had told her. Jewel was in a quandary, going back and forth, trying to decide what she could do or should do.

And Bull wasn’t there to ask about it. She reckoned she could call him on the telephone, but she’d never done that. She’d have to ask Matilda where he was staying at and she didn’t want to do that. And besides, he’d just say no. She didn’t want the kids but she didn’t want them going to no orphan’s home, either. What in the world was she gonna do?

Down at the bottom of the letter Clive had added a p.s. “If you can’t come and get the young’uns, will you please send some money on the funeral? We buried ’em up on his farm where it didn’t cost nothin’ for that, but we still owe the funeral home in West Hamlin.” He’d paid a little on it, he said, but still owed a lot. Could she send a few dollars to help out?

That night, Dan noticed right off that Jewel was distracted. She’d never been that way with him before. As eager for their lovemaking as he was, tonight she mostly just stared and smiled every once in awhile. What was wrong with her? But when he asked, she just said nothing was wrong and put a little more enthusiasm into it, but Dan could tell she wasn’t there, but was off somewhere else. Something sure had happened.

Afterwards, as his index finger slowly made feathery little circles around her nipples, making her shiver, he asked, “Did Bull call? Is that what’s wrong with you, honey? Did he say something to you?” Suddenly he sat up on the bed, the sheet he had pulled up falling away. “Oh God! He didn’t find out about us, did he? Jewel, he’d kill us both if he found out!” The worried look on his face touched Jewel, but there was no way that anybody knew about them. If anybody was gonna find out, they’d a already done it.

“No, it ain’t nothin’ like that, Dan. Bull never calls me. My brother died, is all. I found out about it this mornin’ and I have to go back to West Virginia for a couple a days. You know, to go to the funeral and all.” He wouldn’t know she was lying. And she wasn’t about to say nothing about Macie dying, too. That would just be too much explaining to do. “I just hate leavin’ you what with Bull bein’ gone. We coulda had us some good times.”

Dan lay back down and pulled her to him, breathing a sigh of relief. “Don’t worry about it, Jewel. There’ll be other times. You just go back and do what you gotta do. I’ll be here waitin’ when you get back. And I’m sorry you lost your brother. That’d be hard.”

“You’re so sweet, Dan.” And she meant it. In her heart she was thinking that she wished she’d met Dan before she did Bull. But her mind said she wouldn’t a had nothing if she had. She really liked being with Dan, but not all the time. And Bull owned the company, had all that money. Dan was just a worker, like everybody else.

She crept into the house and went straight up the stairs to her bedroom. She got down a suitcase that she’d never used, and packed a few of her brand new clothes in it. Things she’d just bought in the last month or so. Her closet was full of clothes, shoes, hats, and her drawers had tons of panties, brassiere’s, slips, and silk hose and garter belts. She owned lots of lingerie that Bull had bought for her, even if he only wanted to look at her in them. He’d have her put on the sheer nothings and parade up and down in front of him, but nothing much ever come of it. He always said he had a headache or his chest was bothering him, and she’d just go back to her bedroom.

The next morning at breakfast, she told Matilda the same story that she’d told Dan. Her brother Clay had got killed and she had to go back to West Virginia for the funeral. She just told Matilda he got killed because she didn’t want to go into what killed him. When you tell somebody that someone got killed, nine times outta ten they’d think it was a car wreck. So she just let Matilda think it. Lying through her teeth, she told Matilda she’d tried to get in touch with Bull, but couldn’t. She didn’t know that Jewel had no idea where he was. When he called, just tell him she went back home for a few days. She showed Matilda the letter, but not what it said, figuring the woman had already seen the envelope anyway. The nosy old hag went through all their mail before she brought it to them.

“Bull ain’t gonna like you goin’ off, Miss Jewel. He’ll be madder ’an a hornet. Jus’ you wait and see.”

“I’ll be back before Bull gets back here. He ain’t comin’ home fer a couple a weeks.” She wished the woman would stop interfering in her life, but there wasn’t no chance of that. She had something to say about everything she did, and Jewel had finally grown up enough to figure out why. Matilda wanted Bull for herself, so the woman tormented her to death just cause Bull had married her. Hell, she couldn’t hardly go to the bathroom without Matilda wanting to know whether she was gonna do number one or number two!

Jewel still didn’t know what she was going to do about the kids. She’d never even seen them. Didn’t know what they were like. They could be meaner than snakes. Letting them go to an orphan’s home, though, seemed kinda rotten, but what were they to her? “Clay’s kids, that’s what,” her mind said, and then she’d be right back to where she was at, not knowing what to do about them young’uns. Lord, why’d they have to drink that moonshine? It messed up everything!

She loaded the Chrysler down with her suitcases and started out. Jewel hated to admit to herself that she didn’t know which way to go, but thought she’d just get a map and try that. Jewel never went much of anywhere since all her life she was so used to staying at home. To a hotel with Dan maybe and then straight back home. She’d go into Chillicothe to different theaters to see movies, and knew where all the better stores were. But the only place Bull took her was out to eat every once in a while and she figured that was just to show her off. He sure did do a lot of preening when they went someplace where other people could see them, but she noticed there was never nobody there that Bull knew, or if they was they didn’t do no talking.

Jewel figured she was like one of Bull’s cars. Before he took her somewhere, he’d inspect her to make sure she was wearing her most expensive stuff and if something she was wearing didn’t please him, he’d make her change. And he told her to keep her mouth shut while they were out. If anybody said anything to her she was just supposed to smile at them and nod. It made her awful uneasy, to the point that she dreaded going anywhere at all with him. But Bull wouldn’t show off no jalopy.