Читать книгу Her Millionaire, His Miracle - Myrna Mackenzie - Страница 5

CHAPTER ONE

TURN around. Go back home. This could all go so wrong. What was I thinking when I decided to go through with this? Eden Byars tried to appear calm as the housekeeper at Oak Shores showed her into Jeremy Fulton’s north suburban Chicago mansion, but her thoughts didn’t seem to be willing to play the game.

Just keep moving forward, she ordered herself. This was too great an opportunity. She couldn’t let old, uncomfortable memories mess things up.

“Excuse me?” the housekeeper asked.

Eden blinked. Had she spoken her thoughts out loud? Maybe. “The house is beautiful,” she said, trying to regain her poise. “I’d forgotten.” And she had never actually been inside. Not even inside the gates or down the long, winding drive shaded by oaks. In fact, she’d only ever seen glimpses of the imposing mansion in the winter when the leaves had fallen.

The woman tilted her head. “Yes, there’s no other like it. Mr. Fulton is in the library, right through there. He’s expecting you.” She indicated a massive set of mahogany doors and left to return to her duties.

Eden stood before the doors, smoothing her hands over her old navy-blue skirt. Silly to be nervous. She’d barely known Jeremy ten years ago. They’d hardly exchanged a dozen words beyond hello and goodbye. Different social classes, different everything. It had been a nonexistent relationship.

Except for the fact that she’d had an overwhelming secret and painful crush on him until…

Eden’s face grew warm with embarrassment. She took a deep breath.

Dusty history, Byars. He won’t remember. Please. And even if he did, it couldn’t matter. She had to have the job she’d heard Jeremy was trying to fill. Fate had thrown her a curve last month just when she thought she was back on her feet. Suddenly she was down on her luck again. Creditors were calling and all of her plans were on the brink of evaporating if she didn’t do something quickly.

A sick feeling slipped into her stomach. The thought of standing before Jeremy and revealing her desperation while he judged her brought back old flashbacks from high school of never fitting in.

But that had been long ago. Awkwardness was no longer her constant companion. She’d changed.

Apparently, so had Jeremy. In one major way.

Eden closed her eyes, remembering what she’d heard. She tried not to think of how he’d once been with that disarming amber gaze and those wild, reckless ways that made girls forgive him anything. Fast and brilliant and very openly temporary, he had been the most vital, alive male she’d ever known.

And now he was…

Eden backed away from the thought. Don’t think about it. I can handle this, she told herself.

Could she? Maybe. Yes. She had to. Jeremy’s situation wasn’t her concern. No man was, not in a personal way. Besides, he was no longer a boy she coveted. He was just a man with a job to fill, someone who could aid or ruin her, and loitering outside the library wasn’t helping things. If she didn’t prove to Jeremy that she was the best—a term no one would have tagged her with when she was younger—if she didn’t convince him to hire her…

I’ll lose everything I’ve worked for. The distant dreams that had kept her going this past year would never materialize.

“I won’t let that happen,” she whispered. Not again. Ignoring her pounding heart and a lot of unfortunate memories, Eden took a deep breath, pushed at the massive mahogany door and prepared to confront her past.

Jeremy rose from the desk where he’d been sitting when the door opened. His housekeeper had buzzed him to let him know Eden was here several minutes ago and he’d been wondering why she hadn’t appeared yet.

Well, sort of wondering. He imagined it took a bit of courage to face an old acquaintance under these circumstances. But he refused to examine his circumstances. Too many dangerous emotions down that path, something he’d learned to avoid. Instead he concentrated on the moment…and the woman. He would have preferred someone who’d never known him as he once had been, but Eden had been sent here by her cousin, Ashley, an old friend of his whom he trusted implicitly.

He looked toward Eden, turning his head slightly to catch the best possible view of her. It was a habit he’d had to get used to of late, and it worked, albeit imperfectly.

Showtime, Fulton. Put the big smile on for the lady. Skirting the desk’s perimeter, he moved toward Eden with the skill of recent practice and years of athleticism.

“Eden, it’s good to see you,” he said, focusing on the striking, slender woman. She seemed different, more vibrant than he remembered, and he didn’t think it was just a trick of his vision. When they’d been in high school, he would catch glimpses of her in the hallway, and though she had been pretty with her big gray eyes and long brown hair, she’d always had a scared, shy look about her.

Poised in his doorway, however, Eden didn’t radiate shyness. The details might be fuzzy but he could tell her chin was raised. There was determination in her demeanor. Small and delicate as she was, she still faced him boldly. That determination turned a girl who had once been merely pretty into someone much more arresting, Jeremy thought with sudden awareness.

“You’re looking well, Jeremy,” she said in a low, pleasant and intriguingly soft voice. Only her head drooped slightly before she forced it back up.

Touché, Jeremy thought, catching that slight movement. She knew his situation and she was determined to tough it out and pretend that nothing was wrong with him.

He stepped closer and took a deep breath. Might as well wade in. Anyone who took on this job would have to face some difficult situations, possibly some uncomfortable conversations. It was time to begin the assessment in earnest.

“The Eden I once knew would never have been bold enough to tell me that I was looking well,” he suggested, dropping his voice slightly.

Eden stilled as if uncertain how to react, but she raised her chin still higher. “The Eden you once knew doesn’t exist any longer.”

He nodded, even though he didn’t totally believe her. Everyone carried around pieces of their old selves. He certainly did.

“Well then, welcome, to the new Eden.” Jeremy held out his hand. She placed hers in it. Ever so briefly, he wrapped his fingers around hers. His awareness of her as a woman deepened, but he didn’t let it show. When he’d been young, his anger at his fate and his spiteful guardian aunt had led him into deliberately reckless behavior that won the admiration of his peers and sent his aunt into a rage. But even then, he’d never involved innocents like Eden in his games. Shy, impoverished females had offered risks he hadn’t wanted to deal with.

They still did, and now, more than ever, he tried to control his emotions. Never reveal weakness, never get close to anyone had always been the code he lived by. These days, with his future too complicated and uncertain to even consider getting involved with a woman, his physical reaction to Eden was a sure sign that he should send her away. Still, he had promised Ashley he would give her cousin a fair chance.

“Why don’t you have a seat and we’ll talk.” He gestured toward a bank of sofas, then kept a distance behind Eden as she moved toward them. She was compact and slim, and her movements were graceful. He frowned at the fact that he had been unable to keep from noticing that. The way Eden looked when she moved had nothing to do with this job.

Jeremy pushed his reaction aside. He rested his hips against a cherrywood sideboard that dated to colonial times. “Ashley’s a skilled human resources representative, and she believes that you’re the best person for the job I’m trying to fill.”

“Yes, I know. And I’ve always respected her opinions.”

Jeremy couldn’t help smiling at the audacity of her statement. Had she blushed when she said that? He couldn’t be certain. Colors were getting to be a problem, but he was almost certain that she had blushed.

Interesting. Remembering that younger, shyer Eden, he wondered how much of her assertiveness was an act. The job in question dealt with sensitive issues, and the person he hired had to be just right. He wished he could read her expression better, but there were only six feet between them and at such close range the angle was wrong. Her face wasn’t in focus.

Frustration boiled up, but he carefully tamped it down. His limitations weren’t her fault.

“Ashley led me to believe that you’d welcome this position despite the fact that neither she nor you knows more than the basic requirements and none of the details. Forgive me, but while that tells me that you need the work, this is a special job. It requires honesty and trust, and I have to know exactly who I’m hiring. Despite growing up near each other and having a passing acquaintance, you and I don’t have enough of a history for me to offer you the position without knowing more about you than I already do.”

And there it was. For the first time Eden looked genuinely flustered and nervous. Her hands clutched at her skirt, tightening on the cloth. Even he could see that sudden telling movement. Still, despite the way she suddenly shifted in her seat and the deep, audible breath she took, she stared directly at him. “I’m afraid what little you know of me isn’t particularly complimentary. Our past association…at least that one day…was something I’ve regretted.”

Eden’s voice wobbled slightly, but she held his gaze, dropping that live-ember confession into the conversation. Suddenly the tension rolled in, the past stepped into the present and the elephant he’d been ignoring so far ran loose in the library. Jeremy knew exactly what Eden was referring to. On a day long ago, just before he’d left for college, he had come across her bent over her dog, which had died. Jeremy didn’t remember much about the poor animal except that it had been gray with age. What he remembered was how Eden had looked as if she was unaware of who and what he was for the first time. She had launched her delicate little grief-racked body against him. He remembered how she had held on and clutched at him as he had done what would surely have been natural for anyone in such a situation. Without even thinking, he had placed his arms around her and held her as she had sobbed out her misery. And then, when her last sobs had faded away, she had lifted her tear-streaked face, wrapped her thin arms around his neck and kissed him—a hot, hard and fervently awkward kiss.

His body had instantly responded to the feel of warm, female flesh against his, but some shred of decency had kicked in. Given the situation, he had simply held on and let her kiss him, and soon she had pulled back, her lashes drooping with embarrassment as she stumbled and ran away. Three weeks later he had headed off to Yale and had not seen her since.

Now he relived that moment. She was apologizing, Jeremy realized, trying to clear the air, scrub the past away and move beyond it. Under the circumstances, a gentleman would probably pretend he had no memory of the incident, but if he ended up hiring Eden, he would have to share his own terrible secrets. There would have to be a great degree of trust between them. Pretending ignorance wasn’t an option.

“What was your dog’s name?” he asked gently.

“Elton,” she answered without hesitation. Then she turned her head for a moment as if gathering her thoughts before facing him again. “I meant it when I said that I’m no longer the same person I once was,” she said. “I doubt it was a secret that I had a huge crush on you. Every girl did, but that won’t be a problem now. I’m no longer starry-eyed, and I’m not looking for a white knight to save me.

“In fact, for reasons of my own, I’m not interested in even the possibility of a relationship anymore, so if you hire me you won’t have to worry about me getting all dreamy-eyed or running into walls whenever you’re around, Jeremy. Or…or trying to kiss you again.”

Just like that, sudden heat slipped through Jeremy’s body. He ignored it. “It wasn’t exactly a hardship having you kiss me, Eden, but you’re right. This would be a different kind of relationship. You would be my employee. I wouldn’t expect physical contact and I wouldn’t try to kiss you, either.”

She froze. He saw that much. “No, of course not,” she said. “Jeremy, I’m only here because I need and want work. I’m here because Ashley thought I could help. I do have significant skills to offer.”

Jeremy studied her for a moment, his admiration growing. Eden was still tense. Even with his poor vision, he could see her fingers curling and uncurling against her skirt. Yet she sat tall and straight and proud. She wasn’t running, despite her discomfort.

“You don’t really even know what the facts surrounding this job are yet,” he said.

“No, I don’t. I’ll want to know the facts, of course, but I’m assuming you’ll tell me what I need to know before either of us has to make a decision.” The visual details of those gray eyes were indistinct, but Jeremy could nonetheless feel Eden’s gaze resting on him. He breathed in deeply and caught a hint of a violetlike scent. No doubt it was the gathering darkness of his condition that forced him to rely on cues other than vision, but he was aware of Eden in a way he never had been. There was almost an electric hum buzzing between them, as if some primal toggle switch had been turned on that long-ago day when they touched, and he was now having difficulty turning it off. That wasn’t good, and yet in these few moments he had decided that he was glad she wasn’t a total stranger. Pride had gotten him through the worst moments of his life. He’d kept his secrets locked inside. Now he had even more secrets, and they were too painful and personal to trust to a stranger. The very thought of the situation that had made this job a necessity nearly doubled him over with regret and anger, but he forced himself to somehow keep standing and breathing. He concentrated on Eden, even though concentrating on her offered clear risks.

“I’ll tell you what you want to know,” he agreed, “before I ask you to take on this task, but I need to ask you some questions first.”

Eden nodded, but she looked suddenly wary. She took a deep, audible breath. “All right. Ask. Let’s get this party started,” she said, then groaned. “I can’t believe I actually said that. I’m really not living in a time warp.”

But the tension that had been ripping through him eased a bit. Jeremy couldn’t help chuckling. “Let’s just say that you have a good memory, Eden. And that’s a good thing. I had almost forgotten how much I used to use that phrase.”

Eden fought to keep sitting still. She hadn’t realized how difficult it would be to find herself this close to Jeremy. He was more handsome than ever, his amber eyes intent, his chestnut hair sun kissed. He obviously still worked out, from the look of his body. Those broad shoulders and lean hips had raised her temperature all too many times.

Only the way he tilted his head and seemed to focus on some point to one side of her face gave away his situation. And the lines of tension that hadn’t been there before. None of that could hide the fact that he was achingly attractive.

And she was apparently lucky that she had remembered that phrase from the past. Back when Jeremy had been young and wild, he had been known to say that frequently, probably to irritate his aunt, from what Ashley had told Eden.

“I guess it was a small detail that stuck in my mind,” she said with a shrug.

He nodded. “Details can be important. Very important in some cases. Tell me a few details about yourself.”

The intensity with which Jeremy was focusing on her moved up several notches, and Eden’s breath stalled in her throat. He had been looking at her all along. Indeed, when she’d made that stupid comment about him not having to worry about her kissing him again, his gaze had locked on her, raising her temperature and her awareness of him as a man. She had cursed herself for even using the word kiss. But this was different. Jeremy’s concentration seemed to increase a hundredfold. Eden could see why he had been so successful at chasing new clients in the field of technology if he went after success with such fervor. It felt as if he was concentrating his whole being on her, as if every cell in his body was waiting for her response.

She had to ignore that if she was going to keep breathing and functioning normally. She couldn’t go silent and shy now.

“I’m not sure what Ashley told you, but as a teacher in a private school in St. Louis, I have my summers free,” she managed to say. “I’m available until the end of August.”

Incredibly available. Six weeks ago her car had conked out and had to be replaced. Then, when her school had been forced to make cuts last month, she’d kept her job but lost all her extracurricular positions. The largest and last of the huge debts her ex-husband had left her with still had to be paid off, and the creditors were growing impatient. All her second chances were gone. With this job, she could get free. Without it, she was staring at bankruptcy.

But as Jeremy nodded, Eden didn’t get the impression that her answer about her schedule had made much of an impact. Ashley had probably already explained all of this to him. She still hadn’t convinced him.

Jeremy straightened to his full height, moved away from the sideboard and took a few steps closer. An errant lock of that chestnut hair fell over his forehead, and Eden felt an urge to lick her lips, to shift nervously in her chair, to get up and pace the room. Instead, she carefully folded her hands in her lap and waited.

“Ashley told me that you raised your siblings almost single-handedly.”

Blinking, Eden forgot to be nervous for a second. He hadn’t known that? But no, why should he have? Just because he had been Ashley’s friend hadn’t meant that he would have been privy to her cousin’s private information. “Yes. My parents divorced early and my uncle, Ashley’s father, let us live in a building on his property, so we had a roof over our heads, but my mother was frequently ill.” Her mother had been an alcoholic before her death last year. She had been loving but mostly unavailable.

“So between your job and your personal life, you’ve had a great deal of experience with children and parents.” Jeremy was studying her more closely now, his expression more intense.

“Yes, of course.” Eden frowned. “I’m afraid… I don’t understand. Ashley told me that you had a short-term project, but these references to children…do you have a child you need me to care for?” She supposed it was possible. Jeremy had surely made love to a number of women, she knew, trying not to conjure up the image of a passionate and naked Jeremy. He might have conceived a child.

“Forgive me, Eden. Just a few more questions. Then, if we’re in agreement, I’ll explain,” he said, his expression gentling.

She understood. If they weren’t in agreement, he would send her home and she would never have any idea what this was about. She would go home empty-handed. “All right,” she said around the nervous lump in her throat.

A few seconds of silence followed. Jeremy tented his fingers. “If you had to deliver bad news to a child or that child’s parents, do you feel confident that you could do so in a tactful manner? And…I don’t mean to insult you in any way, but could you promise that whatever news you were privy to would go no further than the primary parties involved?”

Eden nearly laughed at that. She had spent years explaining her mother’s lapses and absences to her sisters. Plus… “Jeremy, I’m a teacher. Delivering less than positive news is part of the job. I work hard at letting people down gently during those occasions when disappointing news has to be conveyed. As to your second concern, confidentiality is a given in my profession. I deal with touchy issues on a regular basis. Abuse, abandonment, learning disabilities, psychological problems. I would never discuss those situations outside the bounds of the primary parties. I would never betray a child or that child’s parents.” She searched her mind for proof. Words were so easy. They could be so unconvincing. “I never told anyone about the car,” she said softly.

Jeremy’s intensity eased slightly. He laughed. “You slid that into the conversation pretty smoothly.”

“You hadn’t forgotten?”

“Eden, a man doesn’t forget when he totals an Aston Martin. It’s a life-changing event. I wasn’t even supposed to be driving that car. It was my aunt’s favorite. Practically a family member to her. And while I never liked the woman and she detested me, even so…what a jerk I was.” He shook his head. “And no, I guess you never did tell, because when I came out of the coma two days after the accident, everyone assumed that it was another driver’s fault that I hit that stop sign.”

“It was another driver’s fault in a way. You did swerve to avoid hitting him.”

Jeremy shook his head. “But if I hadn’t foolishly taken my eyes off the road to wave at you, I would have seen the car and slowed. I wouldn’t have had to swerve.”

Eden inwardly cringed at the fact that he had seen her that day. Her uncle had forced her to wear a hideous, orange-and-red-flowered dress from a charity basket—to show her gratitude for the gift, he had said—and she hadn’t wanted Jeremy to see her in it. When she had seen his car, she had tried to hide behind a tree, but she hadn’t been fast enough. The dress was like a flashing beacon. Their eyes had met. There had been nothing he could do but wave at her.

“Well, you did the right thing in the end,” she said. “You told your aunt everything once you were well.”

“But you kept my secret,” he mused.

“It was your secret,” she said simply. She meant every word. A girl who grew up with a mother who was unable to be a parent because of her drinking problem knew too well what it was like to have to face humiliating truths. Between that and this last year after her husband’s desertion and betrayal, she knew what it was to have things she wanted to hide from the world. “It wasn’t mine to tell,” she said simply.

“And what if I had hurt others in that accident?”

Eden closed her eyes and looked away. “I would have told, then,” she said, guessing that was not the answer he sought.

Silence followed. Somewhere a clock chimed. Eden waited, sure she would be shown the door. The clock chimed again.

“I’m going to tell you a secret, Eden,” Jeremy finally said. “And eventually, if you still want the position after you know all that the job entails, then I’m going to hire you. You might regret taking it before the next few weeks are over.”

She was regretting it already. From the minute that Ashley had called her, she had regretted even considering coming here, just as she’d known she would take this job despite any regrets.

“Tell me,” she said. “Whatever it is that I need to know.”

For a second when Jeremy looked toward her, she could swear that he saw her clearly. His expression was that intense. Her heart began to pound. “When I was in college,” he began, “I was a sperm donor. My reasons were…not the usual and they weren’t honorable. I wasn’t in it for the money the way many of the donors were. I wasn’t even trying to do something noble by attempting to help another human being. I don’t want to go into the details, but let’s just say that it was a rash act, and the whole experience was very short term, not nearly as long as the months most donors commit to. Nevertheless, I may have fathered children. I most likely did, even though I have no idea of how many there might be. Not many, I would think, if any. Still…” His jaw hardened.

“I—” Eden’s heart pounded even harder. She didn’t know where this was going, but she could tell that it was going somewhere bad.

He held up one hand, stopping her speech.

“Eden, it’s important that I find any children I may have fathered. I have good reasons, not frivolous ones, and I need…”

She looked up, straight into his anguished eyes. “It’s because you’re going blind. You’re afraid for them,” she said.

“Yes.” He bit off the word harshly.

“The sperm bank?”

“Out of business. I’ve hired a private investigator to help out, but once that bridge is crossed, there will need to be personal contact. Interaction. I’ll want to help anyone affected, to refer them to those who can advise them, to provide money and care if the worst comes to pass. I’ll want them to know what to expect. I have to do this right. Those children and their parents have to be protected. They have to be approached with sensitivity, more than I trust myself to be capable of.”

She stood and moved closer. The desire to touch him was strong, but she wouldn’t do that.

“Tell me what they can expect. What can you do? What can you see?”

He turned and looked down at her, and now, with only a small bit of space separating them, she realized the full impact of being this close to him.

“I can’t do everything I used to do, but I do all that I can,” he said quietly. “And I can still see you. At least for now. I can still see most of you.”

Eden’s breathing kicked up. She had no idea what “most of you” meant, but the mere fact that he was concentrating on her with such fierceness made her heart race.

“You’re good with children?” he asked.

“Yes. Very good. My students are happy. My sisters, whom I raised, don’t live near but they call frequently.”

“You care about young people, then. You can talk to them and their families.”

He was closer still. Somehow she managed to nod. “I can do that.”

“When the time comes,” he continued. “When I find them—and I will—I’ll need someone who understands the complexities and fears and joys of children. I have no experience and I won’t have any. There’ll be no children for me. I won’t risk passing this on to anyone else, but for anyone who might share my DNA I’ll do what I can. I’ll want you to help me research the possibilities for maintaining normalcy from those who’ve lived through it, not just from my doctors. I’ll want you to help me be an example of what can be, not what can’t be. Do you understand, Eden?”

She understood that this man fought demons, that he was racked with guilt, that he had closed off avenues in his future. She also understood what he was asking her and what taking this position might cost her, because he was just as potent as ever.

“I understand. I’m not only an excellent teacher, by the way. I’m an excellent researcher. And I have contacts. People who work with those in need. Discreet people. I know that’s not what you were asking, but it might help you… and in helping you be a help to the children. I think you need the skills I possess.”

He stood there for a minute as if astonished at her words.

“I think Ashley might have been right.” Jeremy reached out as if to touch her before lowering his hand to his side. But despite his failure to make contact, her body jolted. For a long moment she was too aware of herself as a woman and Jeremy as a man she had once longed for desperately. That was so wrong and emotionally dangerous, and every fiber of her being told her to run. Now. Before she got hurt.

The men who’d had had the greatest impact on her life, from her worthless, absent father to her resentful, unloving uncle to her faithless, undependable husband, had only ever brought pain and humiliation into her life. And those had been men she at least had something in common with, not someone like Jeremy, who inhabited a world that didn’t even intersect with her own. So no, she couldn’t risk her heart and dignity again.

Except…she would. Her financial situation was so dire that she couldn’t even consider walking away. And the children facing a frightening future…she couldn’t ignore them, could she?

“Here are the details of your employment,” he told her, and he named a sum of money that nearly made Eden’s head spin. “That as well as room and board. Can you get me started on the path I need to follow? Will you stay with me until this is done or until the summer ends?” he asked.

There had been a time when she would have given all that she was to hear Jeremy ask if she would stay with him, but that had been a young girl’s dream. A shimmery, no-connection-to-reality dream that was, thankfully, long gone. This was entirely different. It was real, and it was simply work, she told herself.

“I’ll stay,” she promised. Just to help and to work, she reminded herself again.

“Good,” Jeremy said with a sudden brilliant smile that turned him into pure male temptation. Eden wanted to groan. “You’ve made me a happy man.”

The comment made Eden wonder how many women Jeremy had said that to and under what circumstances, and she knew then how risky this situation was. The fact that she was even wondering about Jeremy’s love life meant that she was just as susceptible to Jeremy’s charms as she had always been.

But she had no choice. And this time I’m not giving in to temptation, she told herself. That’s a stone-solid promise. And she always kept her promises.