Читать книгу Cowgirl Makes Three / Her Secret Rival - Myrna Mackenzie, Abby Gaines - Страница 12

NOAH FELT LIKE a restless lion who’d been prowling solo for months and had just realized that there was a female in the vicinity.

Ivy would probably hate that comparison. That rigid backbone, determined chin and all that sass were hard evidence that she had a boatload of pride. And she was doing her damnedest to hang on to it. She liked to play tough, to keep people off guard so that they couldn’t see the pain she was carrying. Even someone like him who was a heck of a lot better with horses than with women could see that. That was why she’d kissed him, wasn’t it? To distract him from feeling sorry for her.

Well, it had certainly worked. For a few minutes his entire body had flamed. His brain cells had fried. Every nerve ending on his body had reacted. That mouth, that silky, soft mouth that tasted of peppermint and some indefinable sweetness that was hers alone had left him wanting to chase her down, pull her against his body and plunder that mouth again.

That would have been incredibly dumb. She had been right. The sparks had been flying between them from the first, but they needed to get that out of the way, because there could be nothing between them.

She couldn’t even look at Lily. And he would never allow Lily to be hurt again. He would never get tangled up with anyone who would desert his child.

Ivy and her luscious lips were off-limits. And he would just have to suck it up and take it. And consider himself lucky that he had gotten one taste.

“I saw you kiss Ivy.” Brody’s voice came from behind him.

Oh, hell, Noah thought. He couldn’t even defend himself. He didn’t want Brody to know that it was Ivy who had done the kissing, especially since she’d kissed him only to get rid of him. Hadn’t the woman been hurt enough?

“You didn’t see anything,” Noah said. “It was nothing.”

“Nothing sure looked hot.”

“Nothing is ever going to happen again,” Noah reiterated. But he wondered if he was trying to convince Brody or himself.

Well, she had certainly done it, Ivy thought. Kissing Noah had seemed like a good idea at the time. She’d been sizzling every time he got near and she had thought that kissing him would kill two birds with one stone. It would get him to stop pitying her for losing her child while he still had his, and it would release the physical tension that had been building between them.

“Wrong on at least one count,” she whispered. Now that she’d felt Noah’s mouth beneath hers, she wanted to kiss him again. She wanted him to kiss her, and she wanted…she looked down at her hands. She wanted to touch him.

“Argh!” she said, rubbing a cloth over the kitchen counter of the crew house. She had moved out of her old home that was filled with ghosts and bad memories. The spartan little cottage suited her. There were no memories here. Under other circumstances and on any other day, it would have been perfect.

Today this house and the ranch simply reminded her of Noah, the last person she needed to be thinking about. He couldn’t be in her plans; she couldn’t be in his.

She needed to get away, and her parents’ house wasn’t a good choice. Where could she go?

Well, she did need to pick up a few things, and playing “bad Ivy” with the townspeople would at least take her mind off Noah. There would be tension, but the tension in Tallula would be the kind she could handle.

Borrowing the old ranch pickup that Brody had told her she could use, she headed for Tallula, parked and walked into a small department store. As she entered, several people turned toward her.

Immediately a salesclerk rushed up. “Ms. Seacrest, may I help you? That is…we don’t carry too many fancy things…”

“Nothing a model would wear,” another woman said, her tone judgmental. Ivy recognized the woman. She’d been a pretty girl, but the boy she’d liked had been fixated on Ivy. Now, remembering the ache she felt every time she witnessed the closeness between Noah and his daughter, closeness that had been torn away from her, Ivy felt a twinge of responsibility toward the woman and dismissed her snooty remarks. Maybe she was married and the marriage wasn’t going well. Maybe she and her husband had fought this morning. Maybe she was worried that Ivy would overshadow her again and steal her happiness.

So even though her first reaction as a teenager would have been to put up her chin and say something smart, or to act cool and unmoved, Ivy decided to take a different tack, to try to be nice in the face of nastiness.

“It’s okay. I’m sure you have exactly what I need,” she said. “I’ll look around until I find what I want.”

Silence settled in. Ivy’s heart thudded. She reminded herself that she had always been an outsider here and always would be. And why should she care, when she wasn’t staying?

She drifted over to a rack of cotton work shirts, then found some inexpensive but pretty scarves, looking up to see the belligerent woman still staring at her. What had the woman’s name been? Oh, yes, Sandra. The other women had nodded curtly at Ivy’s speech, and one or two had even smiled a little, but not this one. Clearly, Ivy’s speech hadn’t mollified Sandra.

Ivy soon found out why. There was a small coffee shop in the store, and a few of the women wandered over there. Whispering ensued. A few looks were cast Ivy’s way.

Finally one woman separated from the rest and approached Ivy. “I know we haven’t met. I didn’t live here back when you did. I married into Tallula,” the woman said. “I’m Alicia Kendall.” She held out her hand.

Ivy blinked and shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Alicia.”

“Ask her about Noah,” a woman called.

Ivy’s heart started thudding. The women of the town had decided that she was here to mine men. Did they think she was trying to seduce Noah?

“What do you want to know?” she asked, raising her chin defensively and looking directly at the woman who had asked the question.

For half a second the woman looked embarrassed, but then she shrugged. “What’s he up to? He almost never comes to town. You can’t blame a single woman for being interested in what a good-looking single man is doing. I mean…can you? Don’t you think he’s handsome?”

Ivy hesitated. “Is this a test?” she finally asked.

The woman blinked, and Ivy gave her a slow smile. “Sorry. Bad habit,” Ivy said. “I guess I was a bit of a smart mouth when I lived here, wasn’t I?”

“More standoffish, I’d say,” another woman said, looking down her nose a bit. “Since you asked.”

Was this the strangest conversation? Ivy wondered. She’d been here for several days before being hired, and no one had wanted anything to do with her. She had wanted nothing to do with them. There was friction in the air. So…why was she half enjoying this exchange?

But she knew. When she’d lived here, she’d always felt trapped, a fish out of water…or maybe a fish frantically swimming in circles in a teacup. Then, when she returned and had been trying to find work, she’d been scared. But now that Noah had hired her…well, she knew she wasn’t staying. She had a job; she wasn’t trapped. She could relax a bit, she decided. Interact.

“Fair enough,” she agreed. “I was standoffish.” She’d never been good at the up-close-and-personal stuff, because her home hadn’t been that way. “But I’m afraid I can’t tell you much about Noah. I just work for him. I hang with the hands.”

That seemed to satisfy most of the women. But they didn’t drop the topic of Noah. “It’s a shame he never brings Lily to town,” one woman said.

“A child should have contact with other children.”

“A man shouldn’t be alone,” Sandra said. “Noah deserves a good woman, his own kind.” She looked at Ivy, and Ivy was tempted to hold up her hands as if to say This has nothing to do with me. But she remembered that kiss. She just couldn’t forget that kiss.

Another woman laughed. “As if he couldn’t have one if he wanted. Give it up, Sandra. He’ll marry when he wants to. Lily, now, she’s another story. She’s growing up alone on a ranch with no other kid contact. That’s wrong.”

“Are you going to tell Noah that?” Alicia asked.

“Tell Noah how to raise his daughter? I’d sooner tell the devil that he should have air-conditioning in hell. Some things you just don’t do if you don’t want to have your head bitten off.”

“I think he should bring her to town,” Sandra suddenly said.

“You just want Noah here so you can slobber over him.”

Someone else laughed. “It would be nice to have the chance to gaze on Noah now and then. Someday he might get over Pamala, but if he doesn’t come to town, he won’t even think about one of us. And we can’t just make up some excuse to go see him, either. He’d see right through that.”

There was a sudden silence, and Ivy looked up to see several speculative glances on her. What was that about? Were they looking at her scars? Had they finally noticed the obvious?

Ivy didn’t know, but she once again felt like an outsider. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter, she reminded herself. She’d be gone soon enough.

For now, she just wanted to escape. She quickly paid for her things and headed for the door.

“Goodbye, Ivy,” someone called out, to her surprise.

Ivy turned and saw Alicia’s encouraging smile. Several more women called goodbye, albeit with less enthusiasm.

“Goodbye,” Ivy said quietly. “I—I guess I’ll be seeing you.”

“Oh, you will,” Sandra said, without smiling. “Tell Noah that Sandra says hello.”

Ivy managed to get out the door, but for some reason she didn’t want to understand, she didn’t tell Sandra that she would tell Noah anything.

Because I’m staying away from him as much as I can, she told herself. But she knew that that wasn’t the reason. Sandra wanted to be the next Mrs. Ballenger, and while Ivy knew that she and Noah were all wrong for each other, she didn’t think Sandra was right for him, either.

Or maybe she just didn’t want to think about Noah’s lips pressed against Sandra’s.

“And maybe you just better forget that kiss,” she muttered to herself. But she knew that she wouldn’t.

It had been two days since Ivy had gone into town. Noah hadn’t fired her for being insubordinate or for kissing the boss, but he had kept his distance. That didn’t mean she wasn’t totally aware of his whereabouts every minute. At times she even thought she felt his amber gaze on her, but when she turned around, he was always involved in some chore.

Still, every time, her heart started to thud…too hard.

She didn’t miss what was going on with Noah and his daughter, either. Despite her efforts to ignore Lily, the little girl’s laugh carried, her soft lisping voice touched a chord in Ivy’s heart and…well, it was wrong to keep a child cooped up, so she did her best to remain at a distance so that Lily could run and play freely and Noah wouldn’t feel guilty.

But the women’s words about Noah and Lily kept running through her head, and not just the stuff about how incredibly hot Noah was, but the fact that he stayed on the ranch and never took Lily to town to play with other children.

She’s only two, Ivy thought. And what do you know about parenting?

“It’s none of your business,” she muttered.

“Are you talking to me?”

Ivy looked up and saw Noah standing in front of her. She had been looking down at the ground as she walked, lost in her thoughts, but here he was, shirt off, a grease smear on his shoulder and a spark-plug wrench in his hand. He was standing next to the old truck she drove. The hood was open.

“Did I break it?” she asked.

He laughed, and deep dimples appeared in his cheeks. His dark hair had fallen over his forehead. He was a mess, and she had never seen anything she wanted her hands on so much in her entire life. “It breaks all by itself. Regularly. Make sure you carry a phone when you’re driving.”

“I know a few things about cars,” she said. “May I help?” Why on earth had she offered?

But she knew. She knew. She wanted to be close to that beautiful muscular body. She wanted to be there in case he laughed again. She wasn’t any better than Sandra.

Except I don’t want to marry him, she thought. I just want to touch him, maybe look at him a little.

She was totally pathetic.

“You’ll get grease on you,” he warned.

“Grease won’t kill a person.”

“Not the trendiest look for models, though.”

“I told you, I don’t model anymore.” It was getting easier to say those words, even though she sometimes missed the profession where she had fit and felt comfortable. With Noah, she felt…too aware of her body. And his body.

He nodded. “I heard you the first time you told me.” But he looked her over carefully, as if examining her for flaws from head to toe. Ivy squirmed. She fought to hold her head high, so that her scars were visible.

“Not buying it,” he said. “You carry your head higher than most women do. I’ve noticed those pretty little scarves you wear, the ones you know darn well will never make it through the day, but you wear them anyway. You’ll always be Ivy Seacrest, international model.”

He was so wrong. The scars had ruled that out, but she didn’t argue. Pointing out her scars only sounded as if she were asking for pity, and pity wasn’t what she wanted from Noah. No, she wanted…

A job. Just a job, she told herself. “Just the spark plugs or a full tune-up?” she asked.

“Full. I’m mostly done. Just have to change the oil.”

She nodded, grabbed the oil wrench and pan and slid beneath the truck.

“You’re pretty handy,” Noah conceded.

She chuckled as she drained the oil into the pan. “I told you, I had to learn all this when I was growing up.”

“So ranch chores, repairing cars…what else?”

“The usual. Cooking, cleaning, general household maintenance, painting.” She left out the bit about nursing an injured mother because her father wouldn’t pay for a doctor. That wasn’t for sharing.

“All that and you went to school, too.”

“They don’t call us supermodels for nothing,” she said, trying to tease because she was afraid that he was feeling sorry for her.

“No arguments here. I’m just not sure I want to go that route with—well, I admire your skills, but your days must have been long.”

He’d been thinking about what his plans were for Lily, hadn’t he? Ivy remembered what the women in town had said.

None of your business. Keep out, she thought. And yet…she slid from beneath the truck, wiping the oil off her hands with a rag. “When I was in town, there were some ladies talking about you.”

He raised one dark brow. One dark sexy brow. Uh-oh. “What were they saying?”

“You mean, besides the fact that they all want to run naked before you and have your babies?”

“Interesting conversation.”

“Just saying that they seemed disappointed that I couldn’t give them any hot news about you.”

“So you and the ladies in town are tight, eh?”

“Like this,” she said, twisting her fingers around each other. “Actually, we’re not so tight. I barely know them. At least one of them hates me. None of the others want to be my shopping buddy. Not their fault. I didn’t spend a lot of time socializing when I was growing up.”

“Understandable. You were fixing cars and herding cattle and painting houses.”

“Right.” Because he was partially right. Even if she had “fit” with the girls in town, she wouldn’t have had time to play. Which brought her back to the topic at hand. The one she wasn’t going to go near.

“But I could tell this much from their conversation. They think you’re keeping Lily from meeting other kids. They think it’s bad for her.”

Oh, brother, just shut up, Seacrest.

“I see.”

“No, you don’t. You think I’m being nosy and—okay, I am being nosy. Lily is…”

“Off-limits.”

“Yes.”

“And you never wanted to talk about her before.”

She still didn’t. It hurt too much.

“I know, but—”

“But nothing. No one tells me how to raise my kid.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“Sounds a lot like that’s where you’re headed, Ivy.”

“Okay, you’re right, but…”

“I’ll take her around to meet other kids when it’s time, but I want her to be grounded here first.”

“You’re afraid she’ll like town better.” Like his wife.

A mask came down over his eyes. The discussion was closed. She didn’t blame him. She had crossed a line. If Bo were still alive and some…stranger with no experience tried to tell her how to raise him, she’d feel the same way Noah did. Ivy cursed herself for doing something as stupid as trying to advise a real father on how to parent. She felt awkward, embarrassed and angry with herself, so she knelt to return to her task.

“Do you think you know so much more than I do?” Noah asked suddenly.

“No!” The word came out on a harsh whisper. “I know nothing. Almost nothing. I know…this one thing. I lived this one thing. If you keep her here, she’ll eventually feel trapped and grow to hate it. But you’re right. It’s your call. She is only two. There’s still time. I think.”

Noah swore beneath his breath. “Is that what happened to you? Your daddy trapped you on that ranch of his? I used to hear things, but—” he held out his hands “—I never knew much about the man.”

Ivy looked up into his eyes. “The ranch was all he thought about. It was his life, so he made it my life. He didn’t like the town or the people, just the ranch. We weren’t good neighbors and I felt awkward in school. I felt as if people knew I was a prisoner in my home. I didn’t know how to talk to people. I never learned. But you won’t do that to Lily. You love her.”

“I do. She’s everything. And I won’t hurt her. I promise. I won’t trap her.”

His words were soft and solemn. They made her ache, because they felt like…like an apology to her. She nodded and ducked her head. She needed to get back to work, to remember that he was her boss, and only her temporary boss at that.

But before she could slide back under the truck, he knelt beside her. “I’m sorry for what happened to you back then.”

Oh, no. Pity again. “Don’t be. It made me strong.”

“All right. Then I’m glad that you got to escape and had the chance to see the world.”

“And I apologize for interfering.”

“You were concerned about Lily.”

She shrugged. She didn’t want to be concerned about Lily. She absolutely could not open that door. The risk of being destroyed was too great.

“Ivy?”

“What?”

“Look at me.”

She didn’t want to, but if she didn’t, he would think she was weak.

“Some of those women have been giving you the cold shoulder, haven’t they?”

“They have their reasons.”

“I can’t think of a single good one. I’ll talk to them.”

Reaching out, she curved her palm around his bare biceps, clamping down, trying not to notice the sensation of her skin against his. “No.”

“It’s not right.”

“It is what it is. I’ll handle things.”

“You’re my employee. I can’t have people mistreating you.”

“If you think that you chastising them for not liking me will change their minds, you’re totally clueless. Some of them are half in love with you.”

He frowned. “Ivy…”

“Noah…please don’t. It won’t help, and it doesn’t matter anyway. I won’t be here long enough for it to matter.” It was a warning to herself. She didn’t want to become one of those women. She didn’t want any man having power over her again.

He blew out an exasperated breath. “Only half in love?” he suddenly said.

“What?”

He gave her a slow grin. “The women. Only half in love with me?”

“You’re good. Maybe that’s why you’re the boss.”

“Good at what?”

“At turning a topic around. At dispelling tension.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” He looked into her eyes, and she saw the fire burning there. Oh, yeah, he was right. There was plenty of tension here.

“I have to be smart,” he said. “And not follow my instincts. You understand what I mean?”

How could she not when he glanced down to where her fingers were still curled around his arm? The very sight made her long to slide her hand higher, up his arm, down his chest. Instantly she let go of him.

“People can get hurt,” he said. He meant her. Somehow she knew he meant her.

“I won’t.”

“Because you’re strong?”

No. She wasn’t that strong. “Because I know what happens when a woman lets a man have power over her. I’ve done it before. My father. My husband. The results were disastrous, so I’m pretty much done with men.”

“Pretty much?”

She frowned. “I’m getting there. I want to be completely done, but I’m only human. I still feel desire.”

Noah groaned. “I really wish you hadn’t said that.”

“Why?”

His answer was to swoop in and kiss her. Just once…and once was not enough. Not nearly. Her lips stung, burned, ached. She barely resisted the urge to press against him and return the kiss. In fact, she was leaning into him when she caught herself. And saved herself by quickly picking up her oil wrench and slipping beneath the car.

Fiddling with the car, she fought to calm herself. “Now I’m done,” she said.

“With the oil change?”

“With men.”

“Good. I’m holding you to your word. I don’t trust myself not to touch you again, so I’m just going to have to trust you.”

Don’t trust me, Ivy thought. But hadn’t she just told him that she was strong?

Be strong. Be smart, she thought as she yanked on the wrench and removed the filter. I will, she promised. Because if she just stayed away from Noah, banked her paychecks and let the hourglass run out, nothing could happen. Right?