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1.4 The relationship between happiness and success

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When it comes to the relationship between happiness and success, most people assume that success leads to happiness. There are quite a lot of ancient stories from Asia about happiness and success and one of them goes like this:

A woman came out of her home and saw three old men with long beards who sat before her garden. She did not know them and said:

—I don’t think I know you, but you may be hungry, so please come in and have something to eat.

They asked:

—Is the man of the house there? —No, she answered, he is not yet here. -Then we cannot enter, they said.

In the evening, when the husband arrived, she told him what happened.

—Tell them that I already arrived and invite them to come in’, said her husband.

The woman came out to invite the men to enter her house and be their guests.

—We cannot enter a house the three together, answered the old men. —Why?, she wanted to know.

One of the men pointed to other of his friends and explained:

—His name is Wealth. Then pointing to the other one: —His name is Success and I am called Love. Now go in and decide with your husband which one of the three you wish to invite to your home.

The woman entered her home and told her husband what they said. The man became happy:

—How good! Le us invite Wealth, so that he enters and fills our home.

However his wife shook her head and disagreed:

—Dear, why don't we invite Success?

The couple's daughter was listening from the other corner of the house and came running:

—Wouldn't it be better to invite Love? Our home would then be full of love. —The husband nodded: Good, let’s take our daughter's advice into account, go out and invite Love to be our guest.

The wife came out and asked:

—Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.

Love stood up and started to walk towards the house. The other ones stood up and followed. Surprised the lady asked Wealth and Success:

—I invited only Love, why do you too come in?

The old men answered together:

—If you had invited Wealth or Success the other ones would have stayed outside, but since you invited Love, where he goes, we also go with him. Wherever there is love, there is also wealth and success.[10]

The discussion about the relationship between happiness and success goes on. Most people want to be successful in life. And of course, everyone wants to be happy. When it comes to the pursuit of success and happiness, most people assume the same formula: ‘if I work hard, I will become successful, and once I become successful, then I'll be happy.’ The only problem is that research in the field of positive psychology has proven that this formula is not correct. Success does not cause happiness.

It is rather like in the story above… love is the key to wealth and success, and so is happiness.

Happy people, all those who experience a predominance of positive emotions, tend to be successful and accomplished across various areas in life. Why? Simply because an individual experiencing a positive mood and emotion is usually encountering circumstances that he or she interprets as looked-for. In these circumstances, people are most likely to expand their resources and friendships and to take the opportunity to build their repertoire of skills for future use and work actively toward achieving new goals.

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.[11] ~A. Schweitzer

A Chinese cookbook for happiness and success

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