Читать книгу Modern Romance June 2015 Books 1-8 - Эбби Грин, Natalie Anderson - Страница 36

CHAPTER ELEVEN

‘WELL—ANY NEWS?’ Kadir demanded the moment Lexi emerged from the en suite bathroom.

‘Nothing yet,’ she murmured. She slid back into bed and Kadir curled his arm around her and drew her into the warmth of his body. His spicy cologne teased her senses and the whorls of black hairs on his chest tickled her cheek. These moments in the early morning when they lay together, half dozing, muscles aching pleasurably after long hours of lovemaking the previous night, were dangerously intoxicating, she thought ruefully as she snuggled up to him.

‘You’re late.’

‘It’s not an exact science,’ she said drily. But actually her monthly cycle was as regular as clockwork. Lexi felt a heart-thumping mixture of dread and excitement. She had never been even one day late before. She might be imagining it, but she was sure her breasts looked a bit fuller when she’d glanced in the bathroom mirror.

She couldn’t be pregnant, she assured herself. And of course she did not want to be. She could never forget that she had been an accidental pregnancy, unwanted by her mother. It shamed her that she had made one stupid mistake and it would be better for everyone if there were no consequences.

She bit her lip as Kadir placed his hand on her flat stomach. What if his baby was inside her? For years she had been absorbed in her career and had never really had any maternal feelings. But when she had left the RAF, and with her thirtieth birthday on the horizon, she’d begun to feel wistful whenever she held one of her friends’ newborn infants. For the past eleven days she had found herself scrutinising every tiny symptom that might mean she was going to be a mother.

‘You had better do a test. And if it confirms what we both suspect I’ll start making arrangements for our wedding.’ Kadir rolled onto his back, taking Lexi with him, and slid his hand into her hair, urging her mouth down onto his. The kiss was slow and sweet, drugging her senses and stealing her heart as she sensed tenderness in his passion.

The past week and a half had been wonderful, she thought dreamily. Kadir had spent every day with her, only popping into his office briefly to deal with any urgent matters that his chief adviser deemed to require his attention. He had given her sailing lessons on his yacht, and they had swum in a turquoise sea that was as warm as a bath. Lexi enjoyed their trips to different parts of Zenhab, including driving out to the desert in a four-by-four, but, for all Kadir’s determination to spend a few carefree days, he was still the Sultan and they were always accompanied by bodyguards. Only within the palace walls were they able to be completely private, and several times he had instructed the staff not to disturb them before making love to her on a sun lounger by the pool.

‘What would you like to do today?’ His voice was indulgent as he stroked her hair back from her face. ‘Perhaps you had better not do anything too energetic in case the pregnancy test is positive.’

Kadir was growing increasingly convinced that Lexi had conceived his baby. The very real possibility that he was going to be a father made him miss his own father, and he wished Sultan Khalif could have seen his grandchild. Thoughts of fatherhood had also brought back memories of his childhood, when he had felt torn between his parents, and he was more determined than ever to persuade Lexi that they should marry and stay together for the sake of their child.

He traced his hands over her slender figure and imagined her belly swollen with his baby. Skimming lower, he began to stroke her buttocks in rhythmic circles. ‘We could spend the day in bed?’

‘I thought you said I shouldn’t do anything too energetic,’ she said breathlessly, instantly turned on by the sensuous motion of Kadir’s hand caressing her bottom.

He gave a wickedly sexy smile as he flipped her onto her back. ‘You won’t have to do anything. I’ll do all the work and you can just lie back and enjoy me pleasuring you.’

Oh, God! She curled her fingers into the silk sheet as he kissed his way down her body from her breasts to the sweet spot between her thighs and flicked his tongue over her clitoris until she moaned and pressed her feminine heat against his mouth. He took her with his tongue and then drove his rock-hard arousal deep inside her and took her to the peak again so that her first orgasm had barely ended when the next one began.

His passion seemed wilder, more uncontrolled, and when he came the cords on his neck stood out and he groaned her name as if it had been torn from his soul. Overwhelmed by the feelings that overspilled her heart, Lexi wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly, uncaring at that moment that her tender smile betrayed her.

‘You know I have to leave tomorrow, and I’ll be away for a week?’ he said later when they had showered together and were eating a very late breakfast on the balcony. ‘Sheikh Omar has organised meetings with the mountain tribes; I am hoping I can persuade them to swear their allegiance to the Crown.’

Kadir looked across the table at Lexi and thought that she had never looked more beautiful, with her long blonde hair falling around her shoulders and her bright blue eyes sparkling like precious gems. She seemed softer somehow, and he had noticed a dreamy expression in her eyes that made him wonder if his patience was paying off and she was beginning to trust him.

The rest of the day and night passed too quickly, and Lexi sensed an urgency in Kadir’s caresses when he made love to her in the cool grey light of dawn, before he slid out of bed and headed into his dressing room to prepare for his trip to the northern territories. He emerged dressed in his robes of state, his keffiyeh held in place on his head by a circle of gold.

‘I’ve left a pregnancy test kit in the bathroom. Try to call me if you have any news, but communication in the mountains is limited—something I will be working with Omar to improve in the future.’ He dropped a brief fierce kiss on her mouth. ‘I wish I didn’t have to go,’ he groaned. ‘Why don’t you do the test now?’

Butterflies leapt in Lexi’s stomach. What if the pregnancy test gave a positive result? What if it didn’t? Either way, her relationship with Kadir would be affected. She suddenly wished the past eleven days could last for ever.

‘It will be better to wait a few more days to make sure the test gives a correct result.’

‘All right.’ He kissed her again, softer this time, his lips clinging to hers as if he really did not want to leave her, almost making her believe that he cared for her a little.

She missed him the second he strode out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him. An inexplicable sadness filled her, a feeling that the days they had spent together had been a golden time that had slipped through her fingers like the desert sand and now had disappeared for ever.

The hours without Kadir dragged, and the huge bed was a lonely place without him lying next to her.

Next morning, a trip to the bathroom revealed that the niggling stomach ache she’d had during the night was not indigestion as she had thought—as she had hoped, she acknowledged dully.

There seemed no point doing the pregnancy test now she had evidence that she had not conceived Kadir’s baby. She ordered herself to feel relieved but her heart disobeyed and an unexpected torrent of grief ripped through her. Faced with reality, she admitted the truth. She would have loved to be a mother, loved to have Kadir’s child—loved him, she thought painfully.

She’d felt so close to him recently that she had even started to believe that, if they were going to be parents, perhaps they could have a successful marriage. A few times she had caught Kadir looking at her in a way that had made her heart leap. But now reality brought her crashing back down to earth. He did not love her, and when he learned that she was not expecting his baby he would send her away from Zenhab and search for a suitable bride to be the mother of his heir.

The strident ring of her phone made her jump. She stared at the handset, wondering if Kadir was calling her. If it was him, shouldn’t she break the news that he wasn’t going to be a father?

Athena greeted her cheerfully. ‘How is everything in Zenhab? I was thinking about you, and I had a funny feeling that something’s wrong.’

Lexi forced an airy tone. ‘You and your funny feelings!’ Actually, she recalled her sister had had a ‘feeling’ when she had phoned Lexi in Afghanistan the day that her co-pilot had been killed. ‘Everything is fine; couldn’t be better, in fact.’

Afterwards, she did not know what made her confide in Athena, but she felt more alone than she had felt in her life and her sister’s gentle voice reached out to her. The whole story of being kidnapped with Kadir and stranded on his island came tumbling out, along with the fact that she’d had unprotected sex with him, and his insistence that if she was pregnant he would marry her.

‘But you’re not pregnant,’ Athena repeated what Lexi had just told her. ‘What a shame. You would be a wonderful mother, and a great wife for the Sultan.’

‘Of course it’s not a shame,’ Lexi said sharply. ‘You’re such a daydreamer, Athena. The fact that I’m not pregnant is good news. It means I can carry on with my career. I couldn’t be happier...’ she choked, and suddenly she couldn’t hold back her tears. It was as if a dam had burst and her grief for the baby she had imagined holding in her arms poured out, along with a lifetime of pain and hurt at feeling rejected and unloved. Her secret hope that she would spend the future with Kadir and their child was over, and now she had nothing.

‘Why don’t you tell Kadir you love him?’ Athena asked softly. ‘What have you got to lose?’

‘Apart from my pride, dignity and self-respect, you mean?’ Lexi’s chest hurt from crying so hard. She had never lost control of her emotions so violently before and she felt scared that loving Kadir had changed her, weakened her, and she would never be tough-talking, no-nonsense Lexi Howard again.

‘I wish I was with you in Zenhab to give you a hug,’ her sister said. ‘I wish I could help. You know I love you, Lexi.’

Lexi swallowed. She did know that Athena cared for her, but she had always struggled to show her own emotions. ‘You’re a great sister. I...I love you too,’ she said huskily.

She sensed Athena’s surprise. ‘You’ve never said it before. I think you should tell Kadir how you feel about him and give him a chance to explain why he seems so determined to marry you.’

‘It was only because he wanted his child. But there isn’t going to be one. He’s the Sultan of Zenhab and needs to marry a woman of royal blood, not someone whose genes come from a very murky pool.’

‘What will you do?’

‘Come home, look for a job.’ She still needed to pay off Cathy’s debts, Lexi thought wearily. She remembered that Kadir had taken her passport and she would have to stay on at the palace until he returned from his trip to the mountains. It was only fair to tell him her news in person rather than leave a message on his phone.

Memories of the past days they had spent exclusively in each other’s company pushed into her mind. Had she imagined that they had had fun together, shared laughter, friendship? Could she do what her sister had suggested and tell Kadir she had fallen in love with him?

Her stomach swooped at the idea of risking his rejection. Kadir had only wanted her when he had thought she could be carrying his baby, and the traditions of his kingdom meant he could not allow his child to be born illegitimate, she reminded herself. She was certain he would be relieved not to be forced into a marriage he did not want.

* * *

The helicopter buzzed above the palace before dropping down to land in the courtyard. Kadir had hired a new pilot, an Australian guy called Mitch, who Lexi assumed would continue to work for the Sultan after she had gone.

She had carried her suitcase down to the entrance hall and as she watched Kadir walk up the palace steps she pulled the peak of her cap lower over her eyes. The clothes he had bought her were hanging in the wardrobe in the apartment she had first occupied when she had arrived in Zenhab. She had applied for a job in the UK, flying workers out to oil rigs in the North Sea, and she doubted there would be many opportunities to wear designer evening gowns in the cold winter in Aberdeen.

Wearing her pilot’s uniform made her feel more like herself. A grey skirt and jacket teamed with a crisp white blouse, and her hair swept up beneath her cap, gave the impression of cool professionalism and hid the truth that her heart was breaking. Through a window, she studied the Sultan in his traditional robes and tried to feel distanced from him, but memories of Kadir, naked, beautiful, lowering his body onto hers, threatened to shatter her composure.

She took a few steps forward as he swept through the great palace doors, halting when his dark eyes immediately shot to her suitcase.

His smile faded. ‘Do you have news for me?’

‘I’m sure you will be as relieved as I am to hear that I’m not pregnant.’ Her jaw ached as she flashed him a brittle smile. ‘Our worries were needless, but now we can both get on with our lives.’

Kadir’s eyes narrowed and he fought the urge to whip Lexi’s damn cap off her head so that he could see her face. She sounded so cool and in control, reminding him of the ice queen who had rescued him from his capsized yacht and ripped into him for risking the lives of his crew.

He absorbed her words. There was to be no child. No son to love, as his father had loved him. No daughter to adore, with silvery-blonde hair and eyes the colour of mountain skies. No requirement under Zenhabian tradition to marry Lexi. She had said she was relieved not to be pregnant. Maybe she was right, he brooded.

‘It’s probably for the best.’ He glanced around the entrance hall, suddenly aware of the presence of several palace staff. Ignoring his chief adviser who was hurrying towards him, he caught hold of Lexi’s elbow and steered her into his study, shutting the door and locking it to ensure their privacy.

‘Was it necessary to manhandle me?’ she complained, rubbing her arm. ‘Why have you brought me in here?’

He countered her question with one of his own. ‘Why are you leaving?’

‘I’ve told you why. I’m not carrying your baby. You have hired a new pilot so there’s no reason for me to stay in Zenhab.’ It took all Lexi’s will power to keep her voice steady. Kadir had said it was for the best that she wasn’t pregnant. Of course he was pleased, she told herself. Of course he did not want a whore’s daughter to be the mother of his heir. Of course he did not love her because no one, apart from her sister, ever had.

‘You can’t think of any reason to stay?’ Kadir’s jaw hardened when she shook her head. ‘I thought you had enjoyed the days we spent together, and I know I gave you pleasure every night, just as you captivated me with your sensuality. We’re good together, Lexi.’

Pride forced her chin up to meet his gaze. ‘I don’t deny we had some fun. But it didn’t mean anything, did it? Now we know there is no baby it’s time to move on.’

She was leaving him. Kadir’s heart gave a painful jolt. In his mind he was seven years old, running down the palace steps after his mother, tears running down his face. ‘Why do you have to go back to England, Mama? Why don’t you want to stay here with me and Baba?’

‘I’ll still see you, darling, when you come to stay at Montgomery Manor. But I don’t belong in Zenhab. I can’t live with the restrictions of being the wife of the Sultan.’ Judith had bent down and kissed his cheek. Kadir still remembered the scent of the perfume she had worn that day. ‘The truth is that I want to be free to live my own life.’

Was that why Lexi had decided to leave him? Did she care more about her freedom and her career than him? ‘I suppose you want to continue flying helicopters,’ he said tersely.

‘Yes, I love being a pilot.’ Lexi made a show of checking her watch. ‘Look, I really need to go if I’m going to catch my flight. You still have my passport,’ she reminded him.

He was silent for a few moments before he gave a shrug. ‘I’ll tell Yusuf to bring it to you. The helicopter will take you to the airport but you’ll have to wait while it’s being refuelled.’

He moved suddenly and Lexi gave a startled cry when he pulled her cap off, freeing her hair so that it tumbled around her shoulders. Kadir slid his hand beneath her chin and tilted her face up, subjecting her to an unsparing appraisal that took in the dark circles under her eyes and the tears sparkling on her lashes. A fierce emotion stirred inside him but he ruthlessly suppressed it.

‘Goodbye, angel-face,’ he murmured before he strode out of the room, leaving Lexi with the exotic scent of his cologne and a heart that felt as though it had splintered into a thousand shards.

* * *

Her plane was due to leave Zenhab’s main airport in less than an hour, Lexi fretted. She had been delayed at the palace because apparently there had been a problem with the fuel pump for the helicopter, and once that had been sorted out she’d still had to wait for Yusuf, who had eventually appeared with her passport and a rambling explanation about how it had not been where he had thought it was and he had spent ages looking for it.

In half an hour it would be dark. She was used to the way the sun set quickly over the desert. Right now, the sun was a huge ball of fire that was turning the sea orange.

The sea!

Frowning, she turned to the helicopter pilot and spoke into her headset. ‘Mitch, you’re going the wrong way. The airport is in the opposite direction.’

‘This is the direction I was told to fly. I’m just following the Sultan’s orders.’

Below them, Lexi saw the black silhouettes of palm trees rising up from a desert island, and her heart gave a jolt as the chopper swooped lower over an empty beach. Jinan. ‘Why have you brought me here?’ she asked Mitch fiercely.

The pilot landed the chopper on the sand. ‘This is where the Sultan told me to bring you.’ Reaching under his seat, he handed her a jar of honey. ‘He said to give you this.’

Thankfully, the fading light hid her scarlet face from the pilot. Memories of Kadir’s unconventional use of honey when they had been trapped on the island flooded Lexi’s mind. Was he playing some sort of cruel mind game with her? She made a muffled sound in her throat and curled her hand around the jar. ‘It’ll make a useful missile to throw at him,’ she muttered.

‘The Sultan said you’d probably say that.’ Mitch grinned. ‘It seems like Sultan Kadir knows you pretty well.’

What the devil was Kadir playing at? Lexi’s heart was pounding as she marched up the beach. She scrambled over the sand dunes and saw the oasis and next to it the tent, illuminated by glowing lamps that cast shadows onto the canvas.

Pushing through the flaps, she stopped dead and stared at Kadir, sprawled on a pile of silk cushions. He was wearing a black robe tied loosely at the waist and revealing his bare chest. In the lamplight his body gleamed like polished bronze, and as he propped himself up on one elbow Lexi’s eyes were drawn to his hard abdominal muscles and the line of dark hairs that arrowed lower. She remembered that the very first time she’d met him she had imagined the Sultan lying on silk cushions, beckoning to her to join him.

‘Good, you brought the honey,’ he drawled.

She gripped the heavy glass jar. ‘Have you any idea what I’d like to do with this?’

‘Show me,’ he invited softly.

‘Don’t tempt me.’

‘Why not?’ He sat up and stared at her intently. ‘You tempt me constantly. I think about you all the time.’

‘Don’t say things that aren’t true.’ She stared at the patterned rug on the floor, willing herself not to cry.

‘I never took you for a coward, Lexi.’

‘I’m not a coward, damn you.’

‘Then look at me.’

Something in his voice, a tremor of emotion that felt like an arrow through her heart, made her slowly raise her head. His eyes were darker than she had ever seen them—dark with pain, she realised with a jolt. His teasing smile had disappeared and he looked serious and tense, almost—nervous. But that was ridiculous. What did the powerful Sultan of Zenhab, the desert king, have to fear?

‘You really would have gone back to England, wouldn’t you?’ he said harshly. ‘After everything we shared, the most beautiful time of my life, I thought, hoped you were starting to trust me.’

He couldn’t sound hurt, Lexi told herself. She must be imagining the raw expression in his eyes. ‘You said it was for the best that I’m not pregnant.’ Her voice shook. ‘You said goodbye at the palace and let me go.’ Only now did she acknowledge she had been testing him, hoping at the eleventh hour for a miracle.

‘I was hurting,’ he shocked her by saying, ‘and I was angry with myself for failing to do enough to convince you that we have something special. I went into the gardens and sat on my father’s favourite bench. Remembering how much he loved me, the confidence I gained from my happy childhood, made me understand why trust is such a difficult concept for you. I understand why you are scared of emotions because you were rejected by your birth mother and your adoptive parents failed to make you feel loved.’

He stood up and walked towards her, stealing Lexi’s breath with his masculine beauty, his powerful body all satiny skin and strong muscles.

‘I do think it is better that you didn’t fall pregnant the last time we were on Jinan.’ He tipped her face towards him when she tried to look away to hide her pain and confusion. ‘I can’t imagine you would be happy to have an accidental pregnancy after what you told me about your biological mother,’ he said with an intuition that touched a chord inside Lexi. ‘When you conceive my baby I hope it will be an event we have planned, and our child will be longed for and loved from the moment of conception.’

Her heart was thumping so hard she could barely breathe. ‘I don’t understand,’ she whispered. ‘Why did you bring me here?’

He brushed her hair back from her face with gentle fingers. ‘Jinan is where it began, although that’s not quite true because it started when you hauled me out of a stormy sea and promptly wiped the floor with me.’ He smiled. ‘No one had ever spoken to me like that before. I was furious but at the same time all I could think of was how badly I wanted to kiss you. But I knew I couldn’t. I had to honour my arranged marriage, and my desire for you was forbidden.

‘I thought I would have no trouble resisting you,’ he said roughly. ‘Ever since I was a young man, I had resigned myself to the prospect that I must marry for duty, not love. And in some strange way it was a relief to know I would not suffer the heartbreak my father felt when my mother left him. My emotions would never be at risk, or so I believed. But when the kidnapper threatened you with a gun the truth hit me like a bullet through my heart.’

Kadir closed his eyes for a few seconds, haunted by the memory of the fear that had churned in his stomach when he’d thought she might be killed.

‘I realised that if I lost you, my life would not be worth living. I also knew that I could not keep the promise I had made my father and marry Haleema. I could not marry without love, even though my decision meant I might lose my kingdom and my role as Sultan of Zenhab.’

Lexi was stunned by his revelation. ‘I know how much it would have hurt you to break your promise to your father. You loved him so much.’ She did not know what to think, and she was afraid to trust the expression in Kadir’s eyes. He had told her he’d realised he could not marry without love, but that didn’t mean that he loved her.

For some reason she thought of her sister. Athena had always been patient and loving, never asking Lexi for anything in return. She felt ashamed that it had taken her so long to tell her sister she loved her.

She remembered the magical days she had spent with Kadir and knew she hadn’t imagined their friendship that had grown stronger every day. He had been kind and caring, patient and loving, but she had listened to her insecurities and been afraid to listen to her heart. She had been a coward, Lexi acknowledged.

But a lifetime of feeling rejected was not easy to overcome, and her voice caught in her throat when she spoke. ‘The days and nights we spent together while we waited to find out if I was pregnant were the most beautiful of my life too. I didn’t want them to end but I knew they couldn’t last and I was sure you couldn’t feel anything for me.’

‘Why couldn’t I?’ he demanded.

‘You are the Sultan of Zenhab,’ she said as if it explained everything, ‘and my mother was a whore.’

‘I don’t give a damn if your mother is a Martian.’ Kadir seized hold of her shoulders and stared down at her startled face. ‘Will you marry me, Lexi Howard?’

She so desperately wanted to trust the fierce emotion blazing in his eyes. Her bravery had never been put to such a defining test, not even when she had risked her life flying rescue missions in war-torn Afghanistan.

‘There’s no reason for you to marry me,’ she reminded him.

He moved his hands up to frame her face and captured the tears clinging to her eyelashes on his fingers. ‘I love you, Lexi. That’s the only reason why I want you to be my wife and the mother of my children that, fate willing, we will be blessed with in the future. I want you as my lover and my best friend, and I hope you will be my Queen and help me rule my kingdom.’

He could not catch all her tears as they slipped down her cheeks, and he tasted them on her lips when he covered her mouth with his and kissed her with such beguiling tenderness that Lexi’s heart felt as though it would burst.

‘I love you,’ she whispered, and suddenly the words weren’t hard to say because they came from her heart. She said them over and over in a husky litany that moved Kadir unbearably because he knew the demons she had faced and beaten to give him her trust.

He lifted her into his arms and carried her over to the pile of silk cushions, where he removed her skirt and blouse with hands that visibly shook. ‘I will tell you every day for the rest of our lives how much I love you,’ he promised. ‘You are my heart’s desire, the love of my life, habibi.’

From somewhere he produced a small box, which he opened to reveal an exquisite oval blue diamond ring.

‘I knew the colour would be a perfect match for your eyes. Blue diamonds are rare and precious, just as you are to me, my angel.’ He looked intently into Lexi’s eyes. ‘You haven’t given me an answer. Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me? Will you love me for eternity, as I will love you?’

Lexi wiped away her tears and met his gaze, her blue eyes sparkling as bright as the diamond he slid on her finger. ‘Yes, my Sultan, my love. I never knew I could feel this happy,’ she whispered, shivering with anticipation as he removed her underwear and knelt over her.

‘Tomorrow we’ll start planning our wedding,’ he promised. ‘Luca De Rossi guessed how I felt about you when we stayed at his villa in Italy, and he will be my best man. Who will you choose for your chief bridesmaid?’

‘My sister,’ Lexi said instantly. ‘Athena suggested I should tell you I love you.’

‘Why don’t you show me?’ Kadir murmured.

‘With pleasure, my Sultan.’ She took him by surprise, pushing him back against the cushions and straddling him at the same time as she unscrewed the lid of the jar of honey.

‘Habibi...where are you going to pour that honey?’

Kadir groaned when she showed him.

* * * * *

Read on for an extract from TEMPTED BY HER BILLIONAIRE BOSS by Jennifer Hayward.