Читать книгу Modern Romance Collection: July Books 5 - 8 - Ким Лоренс, Natalie Anderson - Страница 19
ОглавлениеUNREASONABLE DIDN’T EVEN begin to cover her attitude, he decided as he paced up and down his study, pausing only to take a mouthful of the brandy that he held.
He had held out hope for the future and she had thrown it back in his face; she had acted as though he had insulted her!
And hadn’t he?
Pushing away the suggestion, he nursed his sense of injustice along with the brandy as the level of one rose higher, the other sank lower, until the glass was empty.
He stopped pacing and sat staring morosely at the wall; as the minutes ticked away his anger slipped away. When there was a knock on the door, it opened before he responded.
Sabrina took a deep breath. It had taken her half an hour to work up the courage to do this. Half an hour after a lot of angry tears to reach the point where she had asked herself why she was angry.
She was angry because the future he saw, even the best-scenario future, was not the one she dreamed of. She couldn’t force him to love her and she couldn’t punch him for not loving her.
Rather than be angry and bitter about what she couldn’t have, she should do what he had said and enjoy what they did have while it lasted.
‘I overreacted. Sebastian, I don’t want to sleep alone.’
She held her breath as he got to his feet. It seemed to take a long time and even longer for him to cross the room to her.
‘Neither do I.’ With a groan he dragged her to him, kissing her with a rough, hungry intensity that drove the breath from her lungs and the strength from her legs. As her knees sagged he picked her up and carried her over to the sofa.
She knew it was only sex he was giving her but when she closed her eyes his tender response felt like love. When he moved inside her it felt as though they were truly one, not just physically, but in every way.
He took her to a place within herself that she hadn’t known existed; she lost a sense of where she began and he ended. The sadness, deep and profound, came afterwards, when he held her tenderly, because she knew that Sebastian was not feeling what she did. He gave her his body but she would never touch his soul.
* * *
‘The ladies are in the Small Salon.’
Sabrina smiled in response to the gentle reminder from her assistant and thought, I can’t wait, but carried on moving papers around her desk.
She stopped and asked herself for the first time that day—what am I doing?
Beyond the obvious, which was waiting for Sebastian to return. They had spent an entire week together before he had left for a week.
She had tried to fill the hours, telling herself that she had to build a life that didn’t revolve around a husband who most likely forgot she existed the moment he walked out of the room, and one day in the future when she was in the room.
Live in the moment, Brina!
Great advice, but really tough to follow through with.
Work of a sort had saved her: the timing of the approach from the university hospital, asking her to help to fill the vacancy for a head of the new Alzheimer’s research unit they were keen to establish, had been perfect.
As well as using her contacts in London to line up someone for the post, Sabrina had surreptitiously channelled some funding their way too and acted suitably surprised when the dean of the faculty had remarked on their good fortune.
‘The ladies?’
Sabrina, who realised she had been sitting there with her eyes closed, opened them and looked from the pencil she had just snapped in half to her assistant. She painted on a smile.
‘Oh, yes, the ladies. And I use the term loosely.’
Rachel struggled to hide her smile.
* * *
Sabrina paused outside the open door of the room where her new friends were gathered and glanced in the mirror, smoothing down her already smooth hair.
The half a dozen women inside apparently represented the cream of society. One lunch had conformed her suspicions that she had nothing whatever in common with them and she despised them almost as much as she knew they despised her.
‘I heard that he was seen going into her hotel suite at one in the morning.’
The low murmur of laughter made Sabrina pause in the act of entering the salon.
‘Do you suppose she knows?’
Sabrina pressed a hand to her stomach and told herself to breathe.
‘Why would she care?’
She had no problem placing this speaker with a face. Sabrina could imagine the malice and contempt in the pale eyes as the woman gave a dramatic pause before concluding, ‘She’s got exactly what she wanted...a crown.’
A crown...the irony drew a tiny grunt of reaction from the listening Sabrina. She smoothed a hand across the fair hair twisted away from her face in a shiny chignon, almost feeling the symbolic weight.
‘And I suppose all royals are trained from birth to turn a blind eye.’
‘Royal? Have you seen where they live? Her mother wore the same outfit to three state events last year and her father sits in the public park playing chess with the...the peasants...’
Sabrina walked quietly into the room; unobserved, she stood in the doorway and made the decision not to waste another moment of her life playing nice with these spiteful women. It came as a relief.
‘Well, I feel sorry for her. If my husband cheated on me—’
‘You don’t have a husband, and if you carry on stuffing your face with pastries you won’t.’
Sabrina didn’t slow or quicken her pace as she walked towards the group of expensively dressed, beautifully made up women sitting around a table set for tea.
They got to their feet almost as one when they saw her.
She ignored their furtive expressions—a couple even had not lost the ability to blush—and kept her eyes fixed on the one woman who had remained seated.
Brought up in a much more relaxed atmosphere, Sabrina had always viewed the protocol that made everyone scramble to their feet when she walked into a room ludicrous, but on this occasion?
Sabrina’s smile was practised and smooth when a few moments later the other woman got to her feet, her pouty mouth twisted into a forced, rigid smile.
Sabrina’s eyes moved past her to the other women. ‘Please, ladies, as you were. I’m so sorry to keep you waiting but something unexpected has come up, so I’ll see you all on Thursday. No, actually, no, I don’t think I will. Our little gatherings are cancelled for the foreseeable future.’
She took a step towards the door before pausing and twisting back. ‘Actually, we don’t have peasants. My father was a chess grand master at seventeen, and my mother always taught me to judge the person and not the clothes they wear. Oh, and by the way, the only woman sharing my husband’s bed is me.’
Without waiting to observe the effect of her words she swept from the room.
Her painted-on smile faded the instant she stepped out of the room. She still felt dizzy with the anger that cooled slightly as she made her way back to her office.
‘Rachel, would you cancel all the lunches with the—?’ She stopped as she saw the personal items that her assistant was pushing into a large tote bag. ‘What are you doing? Have you been crying?’ She went over and put her arm around the girl’s shoulder. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I... I’m leaving...’
Sabrina shook her head. ‘I don’t understand.’
The girl managed a watery smile. ‘I have been—’
‘Rachel has been reassigned, Highness.’
Sabrina turned and saw a tall woman whose presence she had not been aware of move away from the wall. She arched a brow and kept her arm around Rachel’s shoulders. ‘And you would be...?’
‘I am Regina Cordoba, Highness—your new assistant.’
* * *
Sebastian’s jaw clenched in frustration as his father’s attack dog, Count Hugo, appeared from a doorway just as he was about to enter the private wing of the palace he shared with Sabrina. The man’s ingratiating manner irritated him, as did his conspiracy theorist determination to blame everything that was wrong with the country on the republicans he saw lurking in every corner.
‘Highness.’
Sebastian tipped his head, a glint of anger in his eyes as he responded smoothly, ‘Count, lucky coincidence or—?’
‘When he heard you had abandoned the meeting...?’
Sebastian arched a brow and let the silence stretch until the man, finally realising that the Prince was not about to issue an explanation, continued.
‘The King hoped that you might be available, unless you are unwell?’
‘Unwell?’ He shook his head. The man would probably disagree if he told him why he had wound down the meeting. ‘No, just...’ He shook his head. ‘Forget it—where is he?’
His father was in his study sitting behind his big desk that was raised on a dais. The tactic drew a wry smile from Sebastian as he walked past the chair meant for him on the lower level and straight up to the desk, where he remained standing.
‘I understand you wanted to chat, Father?’
‘Chat? I do not want to chat. I want an explanation as to why you saw fit to walk out of a meeting wasting the time of the people who had made the journey there.’
‘Do you really want to know? Fine, well, apart from the fact that everyone was so busy protecting their own interests that we could have sat there until next week and been no further forward, I made a joke and no one laughed.’
His father stared at him.
‘I know it sounds stupid but it was a very good joke and Sabrina would have got it, she would have laughed, so I came home to share it with her.’ He did not add that during the absence of laughter he had strongly felt the absence of other things...or another person, and in the process had finally diagnosed the vague symptoms that had been plaguing him recently—loneliness... That shock had barely penetrated before he had realised that his exile from the one person who eased that ache was self-imposed.
His father, very red-faced, drew himself up in his seat. ‘Well, if you are not going to do me the courtesy of being serious I can see there is no point... However, as you introduced the subject, there is something I must tell you concerning your wife.’
The faint air of humour in Sebastian’s manner vanished as he laid his hand flat on the desk and leaned forward, looking at his father through narrowed eyes. ‘Really?’ he said with deceptive calm.
‘I do not blame her—she doesn’t know how we do things here—however, it has come to my attention that she has been getting involved with areas of life that are unsuitable. Like, for example, the university.’
‘That well-known den of iniquity? What puzzles me is how you come to know what my wife does.’
‘There are dangers, a very real threat from malcontents and terrorists. The surveillance is for protection.’
‘I can and will protect my wife.’ A smile curved his lips as he repeated the last two words ‘My wife. And you will remove your spies from my meetings.’
The King blinked and looked horrified. ‘I need to know—’
‘And you will. I will keep you in the loop. That is the way it is and if you don’t feel able to agree with my terms—’
‘Terms!’ The outraged King looked like a man who had just had the rug pulled out from under his feet.
‘Crude, but accurate. I will do things my way or not at all and the next time I see that worm Hugo I will kick his bony butt...’ His voice lowered another icy note as he straightened to his full imposing height and looked down at his father with icy contempt. ‘I will do my duty by you but I will do it my way and with my wife by my side.’
‘And if your wife found out about your Paris trip? There was no meeting, was there?’
‘Is that a threat? Are you trying to blackmail me?’
The older man lowered his eyes. ‘No, of course not, the idea is disgusting. I am your father!’
‘Be careful, Father, the “how dare you?” attitude looks remarkably like guilt.’
‘Me, guilty? I’m not the one spending time with—’
‘My brother,’ Sebastian cut in softly.
The words stopped the King dead.
Sebastian closed his eyes and cursed softly. ‘I didn’t mean to tell you like that. Are you all right?’
‘You saw your brother?’
Sebastian nodded, feeling a spasm of pity for the old man.
‘Yes, I have been in contact with Luis. We did meet up in Paris last weekend, where I met his wife, who is actually rather charming.’
‘I told you I do not want that name mentioned!’ the older man thundered.
‘It’s kind of hard to discuss the elephant in the room without saying the word elephant,’ Sebastian observed. ‘If you want to blank your son that is, of course, your choice—but Luis is my brother and I intend to carry on seeing him. I would like to invite him to the official reunification ceremony next year. I think he’d like to come but he has made it clear that it will only happen if the invitation comes with your blessing.’
‘Never!’
Sympathy flickered into Sebastian’s eyes as he got up and walked across to his father. ‘You are the one who taught me the value of family.’
‘He was the one who walked away. He betrayed us.’
‘He fell in love.’
‘Love!’ his father pronounced with scorn.
‘Yes, the thing that makes the world go around,’ he said, picturing a pair of beautiful brown eyes. ‘Luis is family, his wife is family—their child will be family.’
His father paled. ‘She is pregnant?’
‘It’s a boy, apparently.’
He saw his father fight off a smile. ‘A boy? I was beginning to think I’d never have a grandchild.’
‘I am doing my best, Father.’ The image of Sabrina with a child at her breast came into his head. Fatherhood was not something he had ever thought about before, except in the abstract. He was shocked by the wave of emotion that came with the image in his head.
The King cleared his throat. ‘So when is this baby due?’
With a sigh Sebastian took a seat. He took a photo from his wallet and put it on the desk in front of his father. After a moment the older man took it, and when he eventually glanced down at it he stared, his eyes filling with tears.
‘By the way, did I mention that the university have shown an interest in recruiting Sabrina?’
The monarch’s eyes lifted. ‘Just thought you’d slip that one in, did you? Raising money or even a place on the board is one thing, but your wife cannot work. That is preposterous.’
‘What would be preposterous, Father, would be for a woman with Sabrina’s qualifications to waste them—for her not to be an example to the young women of Vela and her own daughters.’
The old man shook his head. ‘Never while I draw breath.’
* * *
The office was the second place Sebastian looked for her, and the sound of voices through the half-open door, or one voice in particular, told him he was in the right place.
He pushed open the door and was stopped in his tracks. On one side of the room his wife’s PA stood weeping while Sabrina, her chin up, her eyes blazing, was facing a third woman he vaguely recognised—then he placed her. The tall brunette was Count Hugo’s niece.
‘What is happening?’
‘Sebastian! This woman...’ Teeth clenched, Sabrina looked at the tall brunette and took a deep breath. ‘This woman says she is my new assistant and I was telling her that I already have an assistant.’
‘Highness, the workload has become too much for Rachel, who is being reassigned to a less stressful position.’ She held out a file she was holding and a memory stick. ‘I have already made a start on the speech Her Highness is giving to the friends of the hospital. I have redrafted it into a more...acceptable form.’
Sabrina put her hands on her hips. ‘What was wrong with it as it was?’ she asked in a dangerous voice.
‘It is a professional occasion. Certain things can be misinterpreted when taken out of context.’
While the other two women faced off, Sebastian went over to where the weeping girl stood and put his hand on her hunched, shaking shoulder. ‘Do you find working for my wife stressful? You can be honest.’ He exchanged a look with Sabrina. ‘She can be difficult.’
The girl dashed a hand across her damp face and shook her head. ‘No, I love working for the Princess. She is so kind and...’ Her lips began to quiver again as she wailed, ‘She’s lovely.’
Sebastian nodded and turned back to Hugo’s niece, who was regarding the weeping younger girl with distaste. ‘It looks like there has been a mistake. As you see, my wife already has an assistant.’
‘With the greatest of respect, Highness, the King himself has asked me to step in and, though I do not like to say it—’
‘But you say it anyway—admirable. And I see a family trait.’
‘Certain aspects of Rachel’s work have been found unsatisfactory.’
‘Not by me, they haven’t!’ Sabrina retorted.
‘No, cara, what she means is that Rachel has not been passing on the information about you when requested.’ He glanced towards Rachel, who sniffed and nodded. ‘So,’ he added, ‘they decided to insert a more qualified spy.’
‘I must protest...!’
Sebastian whipped around and fixed the woman with a stare of arctic contempt. ‘Then do so out of my sight.’
Sabrina, whose inarticulate rage had been replaced by shock, watched, her mouth slightly open, as the woman, red-faced, walked from the room. ‘What just happened?’ she said faintly when the door closed.
Sebastian smiled at her and moved to where Rachel was drying her eyes.
‘Does that mean I’m still working for Sa... the Princess?’
‘It does.’
‘But the King—’
‘You work for Princess Sabrina, you answer to Princess Sabrina, and she is the only person who can dismiss you.’
Sabrina went across to where the girl stood. ‘And I don’t,’ she said, giving the girl a hug.
‘Now, Rachel, I will obviously defer to the boss here—’ he glanced at Sabrina ‘—but I think you deserve the rest of the day off. Have a tissue, a box,’ he added generously, handing the girl the box on the desk.
Rachel, receiving it, looked at Sabrina, who nodded. ‘Yes, that will be fine, Rachel, thanks, and sorry.’
* * *
She waited until the door closed before turning to Sebastian.
‘Thank you for that, but I could have handled it,’ she added, just in case he thought she was pathetic.
‘I never doubted it, but you shouldn’t have needed to. I should have laid some ground rules with my father before I left...but I’ve done that now and I don’t think there will be any more incidents like that.’
‘You’ve spoken to him already...before...?’ She stopped, lowering her eyes and thinking, Of course he went to see his father first, Brina. You are not his first priority.
‘How was your trip?’He dragged a hand through his hair. ‘It was pretty much like every other meeting I have attended—long...lots of time with nothing to do but think. I’ve been a fool.’
He took her face between his hands and paused, his eyes closing as he relived that moment of mind-numbing shock that had come after a week of denial and misery. A week spent wondering what she was doing, if she was all right, missing her voice, the smell of her skin, missing her! Fighting the knowledge that at some point Sabrina had crept into his heart, into his soul. Fighting because he was a coward, fighting what he ought to have been rejoicing, pushing her away when he ought to have been pulling her to him.
Sabrina saw the pain in his face and ached for him. It must have been a pretty catastrophic meeting to make him look like that. ‘I’m sure you weren’t.’
His soul-piercing blue eyes opened. ‘I was... I am... I feel as though the earth has shifted beneath my feet. Nothing is... I used to be so sure...’ Sure that love was a fool’s game, sure that it was not for him and enjoying the smug sense of superiority and the false sense of security his tunnel vision had given him.
The fact that this mind-set might actually shut him off from one of life’s greatest joys was not something he had ever considered.
‘You remember something I said once? That it wouldn’t happen to me...that I was not expecting to—?’
His words were like a blow she hadn’t seen coming. They drained her face of colour, and she spoke quickly because she didn’t want to hear him say it. ‘You’ve met someone,’ she said in a dead little voice.
It seemed ironic now that when she had overheard those gossiping bitches it had not even crossed her mind that they were telling the truth.
‘I appreciate your honesty,’ she lied, ‘but I would prefer not to know her name.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘You’ve fallen in love.’ It was not a question; it explained the difference she sensed in him.
‘Yes.’
She tried to pull away but the hands on her shoulders tightened. ‘Look at me, Sabrina.’
‘I can’t. I hate you.’
‘Has anyone ever told you you have the most incredible mouth?’
Her head slowly lifted; she looked up at him, tears trembling on her lashes. ‘Why are you saying that?’
He stood there looking down at her feeling that he was standing on the brink of a precipice about to step out into the black unknown. It didn’t make him the least bit fearful.
‘And why are you looking at me like that?’ She gasped, feeling her insides melt.
‘Because you’re incredible. Your skin is like cream.’ He reached out, an expression of fascination stamped on his lean face as he let strands of caramel-streaked honey slip through his fingers. ‘Have you any idea of how much of a turn-on it is to know that I can make you shake without even touching you?’
‘But you are touching me.’ Sabrina, her head spinning, let out a faint whimper as his hand moved to cup the soft curve of her cheek in his hand before rubbing his thumb across the plump lower lip of her Cupid’s bow mouth. ‘You love someone else.’
He shook his head. ‘How could I when I can only see you? Your eyes are extraordinary.’ He stood staring deep into the dark liquid depths framed by long curling lashes, waiting for them to darken with passion before he kissed her.
The kiss seemed to go on for ever, and when he lifted his head she felt as though she were floating.
‘You are my life. I love you.’
‘I love you, Sebastian...’ Her whispered echo was barely audible above the clamouring beat of her heart.
