Читать книгу Bloody Dawn. Daughter of Dawn - Natalie Yacobson - Страница 9

Joselin waited in vain. As once a long time ago in the spacious hall of the palaces and now at the fine binding of the lattice. The chapel was empty. Ferdinand did not hurry for a date. Probably, he will not come at all. But she waited anyway. Her outfit was strict and how it should be to a widow, black, but still luxurious. Expensive fabric, efforts of seamstress, jewelry, shiny in black taffeta and black hair, elegant ridges, earrings, hairstyle, even tastefully selected lacy mantle – and all this is just to attract the attention of a young man who would prefer to be a sexless creature.

Sometimes she began to be angry. It is a pity that monks from this order could not be whipped. It is a pity that the father of Ferdinand died. He would not allow the only direct heir to finish like this. In this grave. Here people are buried alive.

Previously, the smell of jasmine, who fled the hedge, calmed her down, but now no longer. To see flowers in a dream is bad. Now she understood it. Recently, she often dreamed of yellow roses, bright and lush, similar to the multilayer sun. And after these dreams, the painful outbreaks of jealousy were coming. It seemed to her that someone settled in the cell of Ferdinand. A certain creature similar to an angel. It was not a dream. She saw her everywhere, it seemed that her sharp claws were about to cut earrings from her ears. In dreams, they often did it. In her recent dreams, worms crawled out of yellow roses. And Ferdinand was anyway.

He prayed to himself… as a person who considers himself close to God may be at the same time so insensitive? Why did he never notice the suffering of women who went on him crazy? After all, then he was not yet a monk. And then as if something called him, and he disappeared from the world.

Crazy, but so desirable.

Her fingers dug into the twisted binding. Iron rods crashed into the skin to blood. How long can you go down the steep monastery stairs to reach the one who came to visit you? The time that has already passed seemed eternity. She was no longer hoping to see in the distance his blond head. Ferdinand almost passed by, without even noticing her. She had to verify him several times before he looked in her direction and nodded dryly.

Has he remembered at least something from his former life, seeing her here? Will regretted what left?

Wealth. Request. Heritage. Lovers. Bind-free life for which he was born. For what could be left all this? Any other would have dreamed of being in his place. Is there something great for which you can throw and forget all earthly goods?

She almost asked him about it out loud. You need to be more careful. He did not like her attention.

«How are you?» She had a lot of questions that she asked in a hurry, but Ferdinand seemed to not listen.

«Things are good!»

And it was all! One sole phrase, obscured by chance. In addition to a beautiful nape, removing from her, Josselin could no longer consider anything. He seemed to not notice her. Rather defeated than praying. She suddenly felt wild evil. What power keeps him here? Far from her. Far from the world. Around everyone, except for something secret that he was completely swallowed and turned away from all alive.

Josselin was in despair. How she did not want to put up with the thought that he was lost forever. But today he will definitely return. You will need to choose a more favorable moment. And now she was waiting for a groom and a black carriage, which would be fit more for the funeral. In such a place in the other and you will not come. She was not even let to visit the territory of the monastery. Everyone who saw her was turned away from her as from the plague. Madmen who pray on the statues and do not want to notice living people! Josselin looked at one of the winged sculptures in the altar and felt suddenly such humiliated, as if she was crawling on all fours under the pedestal, and did not go on two legs. The greatness of this thing as if turned her into a worm. She wonder if she will faint right now, will her servants find her? Or anyone can consider that her body seemed to crush a marble block?