Читать книгу Vienna - Nick S. Thomas - Страница 6

The journey took a day and a night by rail and ferry, a waste of time unless it were a ritual preparation that could only begin once home had been left behind. Some travellers know this, that the leisure to think through the space makes arrival a beginning, not an end. Others just want to get there, and then get back again.

When the train pulled into Frankfurt at midnight, Frances Christie was less startled by the sudden brightness outside than by her son leaping from his seat again to snap off the light-switch by the door. Then he fell back in his seat, holding the handkerchief in front of his face. Doors banged, haggard travellers lugged their luggage along the platform, and Frances waited. Now he didn’t move. She sighed and looked down at her book, but it was too dark to read. The platform glare didn’t penetrate, and the blinds on the internal windows had been closed since Ostend. Minutes passed, and he lowered his handkerchief, seeming to relax a little.

“Mickey?”

He stirred, but said nothing.

“Mickey, dear, do you think we might have the light back on now?”

“Quiet, Mother. We don’t want people coming in here.”

“But what if the train’s full?”

“Then we’ll have to let them in. But it won’t be. Certainly not first class. Just keep quiet until they’re settled.”

She gave up with another sigh, and let her eyes wander over the long, alien words on the signs outside. The sound of new passengers soon dwindled to nothing, and with it the chance of having someone to talk to.

It was true that there were not many first class passengers. Herbert and Elspeth had gone in search of an empty compartment for their talk, and hadn’t come back. Her husband, her daughter-in-law. Her son. The words were hollow, when strangers offered the only hope of company. How she wished they had taken the plane.

“Mickey dear, why do you keep pulling out that handkerchief?”

“It’s so that people outside will think I’ve got something wrong with me.”

“Oh how ridiculous.”

“Not at all. I do it a lot on the run into Victoria. I need the elbow-room.”

“Mickey it’s too bad. I do think you might talk to me.”

With a smoothness unknown at Victoria the train began to move again, and Mickey backed from the light-switch to his seat, head down, the spiral-bound pages of work already in his hand.

“I’m sorry, Mother. I’ve got to read this thing, and know what it’s all about, before I go back to the office. I’m not going to have the chance once we get to Vienna, am I?”

Frances fidgeted by way of answer, and glanced unhappily at her book.

“We might have met someone interesting,” she said. Mickey snorted, a response that had always offended his mother, and didn’t look up.

“I doubt that. I’ve never met anyone interesting on a train. And all you’ll get here are a lot of people who don’t speak English anyway. People who can’t afford to fly. Oh, and dotty old generals sick with nostalgia, of course.”

“Your father is not dotty, Mickey, don’t say that. Although I must say I don’t see why we have to put up with this. Twenty-four hours. It’s a long journey at his age. But he would have it, so there we are. I must say I think it’s very silly. Positively childish . . .”

She stopped, aware that he was no longer listening. Why couldn’t he just talk? The sadness of the question silenced her. She turned again to the window, but Frankfurt was long gone, and she found herself staring at darkness through the ghost of her own weary face.

A few feet away, his eyes fixed on the rows of numbers in his lap, Mickey Christie was also wishing they had taken the plane. In essence he agreed with his mother; this was a daft way to travel. But for him the train journey was a political defeat, and he had to make the best of it. His father could easily have made this trip by himself, might well have wanted to. But then Elspeth, greedy for glossy fame and sensing a story, had invited herself along with that charmless innocence that was so perfectly American. A mysterious legacy awaiting a celebrated Englishman in an old imperial capital would make great copy in New York. So Mickey, faced with a week of unaided domestic management, or of keeping his mother company, or both, had decided to take a holiday in a city of which he knew little and cared nothing. Then his father had announced that they would cross the continent by rail.

Mickey and Frances had objected, but Elspeth had again betrayed them. The ride from Ostend would give her the opportunity to interview a captive subject; for the general himself, much decorated for the forgotten virtue of gallantry, and a Knight Commander of the world’s last and greatest empire, was as much a creature of the flagged and turreted European past as the city he was to visit. New York would love it.

Here Mickey had made his stand. Assuming responsibility for the arrangements, he had booked four first class tickets, but no beds. When challenged, he would say that couchettes were uncomfortable and a waste of money, his mother would rebel in disgust, damn the expense, and fly alone. And she would have done just that, had not Elspeth begged her to join them, gushing about the plush, adjustable seats she’d seen in the brochure, and invoking, with genuine respect, the magic phrase ‘Army wife’.

Mickey knew this much of his mother’s history, that the colonel’s daughter had longed only to be an officer’s wife, and had achieved a sort of bliss when her husband had exceeded her father’s retiring rank. He also knew that regarding her position as some kind of job gave the service wife a special self-respect, and that her comforts and her arrogance could always be justified by tales of mucking in, of muddling through and roughing it. So Frances had stirred up her pride, and determined to muck and muddle and rough it half way across Europe, pioneer and martyr, trouper and English lady, mother and pain in the neck.

Mickey looked at her with sudden, silent fury. But then he remembered that lately—over five years? Ten?—the arrogance had mutated into something more complex and harder to dismiss, a plaintive clinging, a petulant self-pity. Elspeth had struck a chord with the ethic of the officer’s wife; but the greater truth was that Frances Christie would cheerfully have walked to Siberia if someone, anyone, had specifically requested her company. Now she stared in silence at the window, helpless, miserable, and yet still obtrusive and crying out to be bullied.

“Mother, do you want to try and get some sleep? It’s past midnight.”

“Oh, I hardly think I shall be able to sleep like this. Never mind. I can catch up once we’re there. You try, if you want to.”

“No, I’ve got a couple of hours of work ahead of me yet. I just thought . . .”

“I’ll wait and see what your father wants to do. I suppose they’ll be yacking into the small hours.”

Mickey winced, but there had been no reproof in his mother’s tone. It was funny, the way a woman’s grievances seemed to surface automatically in her conversation. Then he smiled, as he reflected how this generalisation, like so many others, excluded his own wife. Elspeth seemed to have no grievances at all. Maybe that in itself would irritate him, in time, and foul the sweet, narcotic taste of her. But for now he was content to relish the freewheeling ease of the ride, and laugh at his luck.

“Mother I’m going to have a stretch and a breath of air. Will you be all right?”

“Yes, Mickey, all right.”

He put his papers to one side, got up, checked his pockets for cigarettes, and opened the door.

There was a pleasant breeze in the corridor, and noise, and movement under the floor. Mickey took a few steps away from the compartment, and pulled out the new packet of duty-free cigarettes. There was a flurry of green at the other end of the carriage, a perfectly pressed uniform, a peaked cap. Mickey looked uneasily, wondering if the man were going to tell him not to smoke. Was he police or army, or what? He wore a gun, but he looked about sixteen, marching self-consciously with his eyes on the window-sills. Finally he stopped, and nodded.

Mickey held out his packet and said;

“Cigarette?” The peaked head shook once. “It’s OK?” Another nod.

“Are you British? Passport, please.”

Mickey handed over his passport and lit up while the youth made a creditable but transparent pretence of understanding its contents. It occurred to him that his first words could easily have passed, in the noise of the corridor, for German, and he said;

“How did you know I was British?”

The officer looked up quickly, a helpless look.

“Please?”

“How,” said Mickey, “do you know, that, I, am British?”

The passport was handed back, slowly. Mickey smiled.

“You. . . You look British.”

“Ah. Right. Thank you.”

“Thank you!” said the boy, and beamed, maybe with pride at the passable “th” he had just produced, took a step back, and saluted. Mickey nearly laughed, but managed just to smile again and give a stupid little wave as the young soldier, or customs official, or policeman marched, more boldly now, into the next carriage.

Mickey turned to the window, and considered his reflection. So, he looked British, did he? How nice. Of course the man had been referring to his clothes, the crew-neck sweater, the cords. The face certainly evoked no bowler hat, no cricketing nonchalance. To him it often looked barely human, let alone British. It was a poor inheritance, worn by his father as a young man, before the straight nose had been smashed twice in different wars, and age had blurred the black sharpness of the brows to feral grey. The face was getting a second chance.

He let his lazy eyes focus deeper into the dark, beyond his own image, and realised he was standing outside the compartment where his father had been giving up his life story, though Elspeth wasn’t there. There was just the old man, sitting with his arms folded and his long legs tucked and crossed under the seat, staring, like his wife, like his son, into the void beyond the glass. This was the famous soldier, Lt General Sir Herbert Christie, V.C. and all the rest, slumped in a corner without bearing, looking, as he always had to Mickey, like a retired office-boy who had hoped for nothing better.

He wondered how much Elspeth had so far been bored or disappointed by her subject, and decided to stay put until she came back. She had not known his father very long, had never really had the chance to find out what an unlikely hero he was. Well, she would know by now.

Mickey remembered the questions and the taunts of schoolboys unable to believe that the diffident Old Boy presenting the prizes was really what the headmaster had claimed. He remembered, also, turning into the drive at the start of one summer holiday, the two serving officers walking away from the house, and the words he caught as they passed;

“Bloody strange. Of course the record commands the highest respect.”

What he could not remember was the last time he had asked his father to tell him a story, a real war story, a tale of his own daring career. Simple reticence, common to men who have lived through combat, Mickey could have respected, even as a child. But there was none of that. There were campaigns and bombardments and solo missions, and wounds inflicted and sustained, and blood, and burning flesh, and death. There was everything except excitement. The great events of the mid-century were presented without emotion, a history crib of dates and battles. The child quickly lost interest in the story, and sank instead into unhappy acceptance of a narrative in which listener and narrator alike seemed superfluous. His father was talking about his own life, and yet talking, as though he had also lived, merely to pass the time. The record commanded respect, true, but precious little pride or admiration, the building blocks from which a small boy creates love for his father. Respect alone was a dry thing. There were many men still living, many Germans and Chinese, who respected Herbert Christie. For this was a great man, this crumpled figure in a corner, staring through the watery, twice-reflected shade of his own son. He hadn’t moved. He was still sitting and living just to pass the time, waiting without impatience for the next thing to happen.

“Hey, what are you doing out here?”

“Just getting a breath of air.” Mickey turned and looked down at the glistening peaks and dimples of make-up that he recognised as his wife, and thought Why does she always look so happy? “Mother was getting a bit much, as well. How’s the interview?”

“Oh, Mickey, it’s just amazing. I just had no idea. I mean, what a life! And you know the really strange thing?”

“No, Pet, tell me the really strange thing.”

“Your father is so humble?”

“Ah.”

“He is amazingly humble. And he’s just such a big man, you know what I’m saying?”

“Humility. I see. I’d often wondered. Have you got much out of him, then?”

“Have I ever! My note pad’s nearly used up. And he’s said some like really important things. Mickey, I’m looking at a series here. Maybe a book. I guess I’ll call Henry from the hotel.”

“You’re going to call New York? From Vienna? Bloody hell.”

“Well, I could just call his office and have him call me right back. Is that OK?”

“I think that would be a good idea.”

“There was something your father said a while back. . . I know I have it here. . . I really wanted to show you. . .”

She pulled the silly designer notebook out of her handbag, and started flipping through the pages, while Mickey waited, without interest. He was annoyed at having been caught unawares by Elspeth, at having missed her approach. He most enjoyed looking at her from a distance, with her pent-up bobbing gait, and the blood of a dozen races playing glorious merry hell with her face and figure and hair. At close range her beauty was lost in the detail of its parts, like the face of the moon. Still, at least she always looked happy.

“It doesn’t matter, Pet. I’ve probably heard it before.”

“Oh, here it is, right here.” Mickey sighed, and looked back at his father. No change. “Mickey? You want to hear this?”

“Sorry Pet. Go on, I’m listening.”

“OK. So I was asking him about war, right? And I said, you know, did it ever bother him, to be all the time mixed up in killing people and all that real destruction . . .”

“Good grief.”

“What? You think I shouldn’t have asked?”

“Well. . . Oh I don’t know. Why not? You’re a journalist, after all.”

“Right. And I’m family. I think it’s OK. Anyhow, he said it was a really good question. Then he sort of looked up at the ceiling, and said it reminded him of something his uncle had said, like fifty years ago, in Vienna. He said, ‘If men have to die, they might as well die believing there’s a reason.’ Don’t you think that’s really beautiful?”

“Whatever is he thinking about in there? He’s just staring out of the window. He hasn’t moved.”

“I don’t know. I guess I’ve been stirring up a lot of memories. But don’t you think that’s a really beautiful thing to say?”

“Is it? I don’t know that it’s beautiful, exactly. I mean it seems to imply that there actually isn’t a reason. That doesn’t strike me as a particularly happy thought.”

“Oh sure. But I’ve asked that question before, you know? This friend of my dad who’s a general, a couple of guys who were out in ’Nam. . . I got a lot of stuff about doing your job, just being a pawn in the game, stuff like that. Your father’s really something else. He’s like a philosopher.”

“He’s unusual, I’ll give you that.”

Mickey turned again to look at his father, and she joined him with a reverent contemplation of her own. For her the mystery still lacked the power to distress. Then she grabbed his arm suddenly, alive with a new topic.

“Hey, you want to hear something funny?”

“Please.”

“When I went out, just a little while back, I met this young guy in uniform, I mean really young, he looked like he should still be in school. Maybe he’s a guard or something.”

“Probably a policeman, if it’s the same one who checked my passport. I don’t think railway staff carry guns, even in Germany.”

“I meant maybe a border guard.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Anyhow, he looked so young and shy and everything, and I asked him to tell me the way to the bathroom, and he just looked so embarrassed. He didn’t say a word. And he turned really red. Don’t you think that’s cute? Just because I asked for the john?”

“I don’t think that was the reason, Pet. He speaks hardly any English. He wouldn’t know where to begin with you.”

“Oh really? Oh, well. I guess I’ll go back in now. We ought to get some sleep, some time. It’s too bad you didn’t reserve some beds.”

“No point, honey. They only do singles.”

Mickey kissed his wife on the mouth, and left her to daydream about the double bed to come. At the door of the other compartment, with the other woman in his life still hidden by the blinds, he turned to catch a long-range view of Elspeth. She was leaning against the wall, still holding her notebook, with an absent smile on her face and one ankle gently stroking the other, up, and down. Mickey smiled. He was looking forward to that room as well, and he didn’t give a damn about the view.